Chapter 36
ZACH
Farm life didn’t stop for celebrations. It barely even paused. Which was why, despite being hungover and groggy, Zach was drinking black coffee in the kitchen only a few hours after getting to sleep.
“Do you want to baby the tomatoes today?” Jerry asked, poking his side when Zach didn’t immediately answer.
Zach glared back. “How are you so awake? You got home at the same time I did.”
“Big-city life made you soft, baby brother.”
“Shut up,” Zach grumbled and drained his mug. “What am I doing?”
“We had tomatoes a few years back, remember? Pain in the ass. Gotta prune and weed them constantly.”
“Sure, whatever. Sounds nice and quiet.” Zach dropped his face in his hands and tried to convince himself to move.
When he lifted his head up, disappointed to see that he hadn’t budged an inch, Jerry shook his head with a grin and gave Zach’s hair a quick, teasing ruffle before walking out of the kitchen.
What an asshole.
Zach smiled. Jerry had gone out of his way to make him feel at home, and Zach’s heart was full to bursting with joyful relief to have his big brother on his side.
After dragging himself to the vegetable patch and plopping on the ground, Zach tried to concentrate.
It was late in the season, and most of the plants were fully grown, with the exception of a few rows seeded much later to extend the harvest. The earthy aroma of fresh tomatoes floated on the air and clung to his skin as he pruned, making his mouth water.
If he gave in and tossed one into his mouth every few minutes, it was only because he was concerned about his blood sugar being low.
Practically a medical necessity.
He slid along the meticulously spaced rows, alternating between pruning and weeding to prevent his wrist from cramping up. At the sound of someone approaching, he looked up and realized he’d finished almost half of the patch.
“You forgot to wear a hat,” his mom admonished as she thrust a baseball cap on his head. Zach let out a sigh his teenage self would have been jealous of, and she laughed. “Here’s your lunch.”
Zach accepted the foil-wrapped package. He already knew what it was.
A few years ago, frustrated by the muscle spasms in his wrists after a full week of weeding, Zach did all of five minutes of internet research before demanding more potassium in his diet.
Ever since, his mom had made peanut butter and banana sandwiches for lunch whenever he was on vegetable duty.
It didn’t matter if she was busy or making something else for the rest of the family, Zach always got the lovingly assembled, perfectly toasted bread with generous layers of smooth peanut butter and mushed banana.
One of the many small ways she showed how much she loved him.
Zach shot up and grabbed her in a hug. Holding back the emotions threatening to crack his voice, he whispered, “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too, Zachie. I’ll always love you, no matter what.” She squeezed him tightly, kissing his temple before letting go. “Promise me you’ll come visit every once in a while. Even if it’s only for a few days.”
“I will. I promise.”
He chewed on his sandwich while watching her walk back toward the house, wishing he didn’t have to go so soon.
That sentiment didn’t last long. By the time dinner rolled around, he was glad to be leaving again. Everything ached. Muscles he’d forgotten about protested with every movement, and experience told him it would only get worse over the next week.
Taking a long, hot shower and eating two giant slices of apple pie for dessert improved his mood but didn’t do much for his physical state.
He was sprawled across the couch in the living room, watching Jerry and Abe make the zombie apocalypse look embarrassingly easy to survive, when his phone vibrated with a text message.
MILES: Want to meet by the trees for dessert? I have chocolate muffins.
It was his last night in Montana, and he should have been doing everything he could to see Miles again, but he couldn’t move.
And not only because his muscles refused to cooperate.
Zach was afraid. As the excitement from the wedding faded, real life was starting to rear its ugly head.
After tomorrow, it would be months before he would see Miles, and a year until they lived together.
If Miles didn’t change his mind by then.
If he met Miles tonight, every moment they shared would be tinged with the sadness of their looming separation, and Zach didn’t think he could handle it. The two-hour drive to the airport tomorrow morning would be painful enough.
Besides, his muscles truly weren’t up for the task. Even the short walk to their secret spot sounded grueling.
ZACH: I want to see you, but I was on my knees all day and my body is filing a formal complaint. I can’t move. I might be moments away from full muscle failure.
MILES: On your knees all day and I didn’t get an invite? Rude.
ZACH: Don’t joke. Laughing hurts.
MILES: Copy that. Go to sleep, I’ll see you in the morning.
Zach was almost disappointed by how easy that was. He’d expected Miles to argue, to want to see him, to take advantage of their last night in the same zip code. A groan of frustration made its way out of him as he slammed his phone face down on the couch cushion.
“Everything okay?” Jerry asked, skillfully shooting a poor, hungry zombie in the head, causing a disturbingly realistic explosion of blood and bone.
“Yeah.” Zach sighed, no longer tired. “You got any easy multiplayer games?”
“Hell yeah!”
* * *
“Cheap tickets are always the worst,” Zach grumbled, slumped at the kitchen table. His brothers and dad were shoveling eggs and bacon into their mouths, even though it was barely four in the morning and Zach couldn’t imagine eating anything for hours. “You didn’t have to wake up so early.”
Jerry said something, impossible to interpret with the food in his mouth. He held up a finger and finished chewing before trying again. “It’s only an hour earlier than usual. You’re good.”
“You’re sure you don’t need a ride?” His mom placed a plate of toast in front of him and ruffled his hair.
Zach smiled and took a tiny bite, chasing it down with coffee.
“Miles will drive me,” he said, checking the time. “He’ll be here in ten minutes.”
One by one, everyone came up to him. His dad squeezed him in a brief one-armed hug and slapped him on the shoulder, Jerry tried to muss up his hair, Abe murmured a soft “We’ll miss you,” and his mom lingered in the embrace, her eyes glassy when they finally separated.
“I’ll come for Thanksgiving. I promise.” Four pairs of eyes watched as he picked up his bag, and he gave them a final smile.
They loved him. They accepted him. Even his dad, who’d clearly struggled with Zach’s revelation the most, hadn’t said a single derogatory thing about gay people or Portland the entire time.
As Zach slipped out of the house, he noted how different this departure was.
Last time, he’d rushed out with tears in his eyes, certain he’d never come back again.
This time, he knew he’d be welcome here.
It made all the difference.
Instead of Miles’s truck, a sedan idled in their driveway. As he waved at it, Mara stuck her head out of the driver’s-side window. “Morning, Zach!”
“Hi, Mara. Didn’t expect to see you.” He slapped on a fake smile and trudged to the car, disappointment turning to confusion when he found the passenger seat occupied.
By Miles.
She snorted with amusement. “Try not to sound so thrilled. Sorry to ruin your special time, but someone’s gotta drive the car back.”
“Hey, can we talk a sec?” Miles swung the door open and hopped out.
Something in his voice gave Zach pause. Miles seemed…nervous. Zach dropped his bag on the ground and followed Miles a few feet away.
“What’s up?”
Miles laced their fingers together and pressed a quick kiss to Zach’s knuckles. “I need to tell you something.”
Zach was instantly awake, a strange energy buzzing under his skin.
“What is it?”
“I should have told you earlier, but…” Miles gave him a sheepish look. “Don’t be mad.”
Zach sighed heavily. “Miles, are you breaking up with me?” He knew Miles wasn’t—not with the way he touched him so gently, as if he were the most important thing in the world—but he needed to jolt him out of his guilt spiral and get him to start talking.
No matter how bad it was, they’d make it work.
He almost laughed at how quickly Miles’s expression changed from concerned to confused, then horrified.
“What? No! What?”
“Then I probably won’t be mad at you.”
Miles yanked Zach’s hand to his chest, causing him to stumble forward.
“I’m bad at this,” he said. “I can’t manage to string my words together around you.”
Zach closed the rest of the distance between them and touched their foreheads together.
“Tell me.”
Miles cupped Zach’s face, letting the quiet affection between them fill the silence. The faint dawn light gleamed in Miles’s eyes, making him look otherworldly, like a beautiful paranormal being. An elf, maybe, if beefy elves were a thing.
“I don’t want to do long distance, Zee. I don’t want to spend a year surviving on nothing but video chats. I wanna wake up next to you every morning and go to sleep together every night. I wanna be able to touch you and hug you and kiss you every day.”
Hope unfurled somewhere deep inside Zach, and he tried to stuff it down, but it bloomed more and more as Miles spoke.
“I didn’t want to say anything until it was real,” Miles continued, running a thumb across Zach’s cheek, “but I figured out a way to finish my degree remotely. It took, like, a billion emails and even more forms, but it’s done.”
Zach’s breath hitched.
“And I talked to one of my professors, who put me in touch with this guest speaker, who… Long story. Bottom line, I have a paid internship next spring.” Miles’s lips curled in a nervous smile. “Until then, I’ll get a job. Grocery store, coffee shop, whatever.”
He bit the inside of his cheek, his worried gaze fixed on Zach.
What could he possibly be worried about? This was the best possible news.
Zach jumped up and wrapped his legs around Miles, crushing him in a joyous hug. His sore muscles twinged, but he was too happy to care.
Mara interrupted the moment with a loud whistle. “You’re gonna be late!” she yelled out of the window. “You can make out while I drive.”
Miles rolled his eyes and carried Zach to the car.
“I can walk,” Zach said with a laugh, tapping Miles’s shoulder to put him down.
When Miles didn’t, Zach gave up and burrowed his face in Miles’s neck, breathing in his favorite smell.
His head swam with happiness. Even in his wildest dreams, he never imagined Miles would join him so soon. It felt unreal.
They settled in the backseat, and Mara pulled out of the driveway. After being on the road for ten minutes, Zach’s brain caught up.
“Wait, now? You’re coming now? Like, you’re flying back with me?”
Miles chuckled. “Yeah. There were plenty of seats left on your flight.”
“I guess not a lot of people in Montana want to wake up at the asscrack of dawn to go to Portland.”
“Their loss,” Miles murmured. “You can take a nap.”
Zach smiled gratefully and leaned on Miles’s shoulder.
His eyes closed on their own, blocking out the bright rays of the rising sun, and he drifted deeper into the haze of Miles-induced happiness as the purr of the engine lulled him to sleep.
Until an errant thought startled him awake.
“Miles,” he gasped. “Does this mean you need more than one drawer?”