Chapter 9 #2
She twisted the knot tighter which forced a grunt from him. "That should keep you from bleeding out, but we need to get you to a hospital."
"No hospitals." He pulled her to stand in front of him. "Taylor, promise me, no hospitals."
She nodded her head as her eyes searched his. "No hospitals."
His heart rate began to lower. He didn't think twice in taking on an assassin, but going back to a hospital made his vision start to narrow and breaths become short. He never wanted to be back in a place like that, broken and alone.
Taylor touched his face. "I'm here this time."
He wrapped her hand in his and he placed it over his heart avoiding the cut on his chest. "I know and as soon as we clear your name, if you're willing to be with a broken man, we can figure out life…together."
Kam sounded like a bumbling teen talking to his crush. Taylor gave him a small smile. "Kam King, are you proposing? Again?"
Kam swallowed then cleared his throat. "I'm not the same person you once knew. That man died in a hospital room three years ago."
"You're right. But the man who you are at your core hasn't changed. You haven't let the darkness consume you. You've never stopped fighting." Her words broke away more of the ties on his heart.
"I only did what I had to to survive."
She shook her head. "No. You still have your faith in God. You haven't forgotten whose you are."
A peace rushed through him and cracked more of the binds. He still needed to tell her everything. "I was so angry at first. I did things that I'm not proud of. There are people whose lives I ruined. People who died because of me."
Kam closed his eyes, not wanting to see the look of disappointment she gave him.
Taylor unwound their hands. The rejection hurt.
He knew that she'd have a hard time with who he had to be, but part of him wanted to hope that she'd realize he regretted those first months with Spartak and had worked to redeem himself ever since.
"Kam, look at me." She didn't sound upset, but how could she not? Kam slowly opened his eyes. Taylor stood with her arms folded across her chest. "Did you work it out with God?"
That wasn't the question he thought she would ask. He had opted for the bury it deep and not try to think about it option when it came to those dark days.
When Kam didn't respond, Taylor's hands moved to her hips and her eyes narrowed. She got even more beautiful when the fire lit her eyes. "No matter what you did, God will forgive you. The question is, can you forgive yourself?"
The anger burst from him faster than he could shove it away. "How can I forgive myself for taking everything away from Max? He lost everything because of me." Kam jammed his finger at his chest.
Taylor didn't flinch at his outburst, but her arms fell to her sides. "Were you the one who killed his wife and child?"
"No, but…"
Taylor held up her hand. "Does Max blame you for what happened?" Memories of all the times Max had helped and in some cases saved him this past year flooded his mind. "If Max forgave you, don't you think it's time to forgive yourself?"
His eyes began to burn from the tears that threaten to let loose. "Max was the one who reminded me that God hadn't forgotten me."
Taylor stepped toward him tracing her fingers along his scars.
"I can't imagine what you had to face alone, but the man that I've witnessed the last few days is fighting a fight that many will never know exists because of good men like you standing in the gap to protect the innocent. You found a way."
"No, God found a way." Kam captured her hand. "I just decided to stop being angry long enough to follow His guidance."
"And what about now? Are you still angry?"
"At the injustice in the world? Sure. At God? No." The confession set the last part of him free. Kam, for the first time in three years, felt the full weight of his situation be lifted completely off his shoulders.
Taylor tugged the engagement ring on her necklace out from under her collar. "Let's get out of here then so that you can officially put this back on my finger."
Kam scanned the room. "We need to get off this ship. Then we can connect with Agent Schulz and set a trap."
"We need to get out of this room first." Taylor walked toward the door then looked up. "I think I can fit through that vent, if you can give me a boost."
Kam interlocked his fingers and squatted down. She placed her hand on his shoulders and her foot in his hands. "Are you sure about this?"
As long as he didn't pass out from the pain, he'd do anything to get them out of here. He'd be no good to her unconscious.
The door banged open again. "I figured you'd get out of those bonds," Katarina sneered. Did the woman not know how to open a door without making it bash against the wall? "It is good to know that you two are strong enough to make for a good chase."
Kam dropped Taylor's foot and stood in front of her.
Katarina tossed a shirt at Kam. "Dasha is ready for your answer."
Taylor stepped forward and took Kam's hand. He just prayed she'd follow his lead. Katarina turned as if she expected them to follow and that's what he planned to do until God showed him how to get off this boat.
Taylor looked at him, complete trust in her eyes. "I'll go where you go." He knew that she was talking about their current situation, but the promise those words gave him the strength to keep going. He needed God to get them out of this so he could see what came next.