Chapter 13 Damon
THIRTEEN
Damon
I pulled him onto my lap, his body light and floating through the bubbling water until he sank onto me, arms wrapped around my neck, steam curling around us.
He kissed me from above, breathing in, his chest rising against mine, rising off my lap and sinking back on it again.
When I opened my eyes, the amber lights glowed behind his head, hair curling lightly with humidity, the warm glow creating a halo around him, and snowflakes flurrying high above us.
A cool breeze passed over us, sending the steam away before it rose up again from the tub.
I love you, I thought. Not for the first time did I have to bite my tongue to stop those words from tumbling over my lips.
He smirked knowingly, although the knowledge he had just discovered had nothing to do with my reckless feelings.
He could feel me in the water, feel the hard bulge under his ass as he sat down.
“In the tub, you dirty freak?” he teased.
“Anywhere,” I said. “Everywhere.” My hands held his hips tighter, tugging him down and close to me. “Don’t stop kissing me.”
He smiled playfully and turned his head away, denying me the one thing I needed most for survival. So I rose, leaning him backward until he sank all the way to his shoulder, face afloat and eyes wide with surprise.
I kissed him like that, lips grazing softly over his, then harder. I pushed my tongue into his mouth, taking in the flavors of the crushed mint of his cocktail as he held on to me, laughing and kissing me back.
It was the most efficient way of holding back all the words that cluttered me that I had found so far.
So long as I could kiss him, I could keep quiet.
I wouldn’t do something stupid, like telling him he was the reason I got out of bed every morning, that he was the only light in my dark world, that he was my everything.
My hands moved along his hips to the small of his back, palms touching his ass while my fingers slipped under his waistband, tugging it lower.
“Oh, you’re serious about this,” he said against my lips, laughing softly.
“When am I not serious?” I asked.
He kissed me and bit my lip in reply.
We had a year and a half left in the hourglass. Come the June after, I would leave Northwood and embark on a difficult journey with the NHL. I did not doubt that. Soon enough, we would be faced with the same old choice and, if history were any teacher at all, we would quietly not choose anything.
I held back the accusation that swelled inside of me, focusing on the heat of our bodies and the idyllic scenery around us. Why didn’t you stay in touch? But we had always known that this thing was temporary.
“You came back to me,” I whispered, tugging the waistband of his shorts lower, revealing inches of his flesh.
Seth sank lower onto me, pressing himself against my lap and taking my breath away. He pulled me into his arms, lifting his head so I could kiss his chin. An evening stubble covered his chin and the space above his mustache, making him cuter than ever.
My lips trailed his throat, passing over his Adam’s apple to the space between his collarbones, and down between his pecs, until he leaned so far back that my lips could press against his solar plexus and remain there, feeling his heartbeat and making me singularly aware of how precious he was to me.
Seth let go of me, afloat, pushing himself a couple of feet back and helping me take his shorts off. I pulled them down his legs, over his knees, and slipped them off, tossing them over the edge of the tub and leaving him gloriously naked and beautiful.
“There,” he said, lifting one eyebrow. “Look what you did.”
“I’m looking,” I whispered. My gaze swept his body, taking in the muscles of his torso, the sweet, sexy rolls of his waist, his smooth legs, and his thick, hard cock.
I took him by the hips and pulled him close to me, supporting his back with one hand and pressing the other against his stomach, dragging it down.
I love you, I thought. I love you. I love you.
I bit my lip and wrapped my hand around his cock, watching the ripple of pleasure pass over his face. The minuscule tension rising and falling in his eyebrows, the way he winced, the tightness in the corners of his lips before he parted them and formed a round O, exhaling.
My fist moved along his cock, tension rising, pressure growing, and his moan turning louder as the fingers of my other hand dug into the flesh on his back.
A quiet moan rose from the depths of his chest as I lifted him into my lap and held him close.
In one quick move, I turned us around. Seth was in my seat, and I floated gently before him, lowering myself onto my knees and leaning in.
He put his arms back along the edge of the tub and let himself rise from the seat, body afloat, inviting, willing, defenseless.
I moved in, holding his hips high up, his abdomen, thighs, and cock above the bubbling surface, and I leaned in, parting my lips. He was delicious inside my mouth, hard and sensitive to every move of my tongue; he throbbed as I took him in.
“Oh, fuck,” Seth whispered, voice strangled as he put one hand on the back of my head and pushed me down.
I took him easily down my throat. After all, practice makes perfect, and we practiced religiously.
My left hand moved to the small of Seth’s back, keeping him afloat, while my lips sealed hard around his shaft, taking him deeper into my throat, head bobbing up and down his length with growing ease.
We had only just arrived in this white heaven.
He’d agreed to be with me for Christmas.
He’d picked me over his family. He’d given me the time, the adoration.
He’d given me his body and soul for a few wonderful days.
My plans covered every minute of the time we had carved out for one another here.
And tonight, making him shiver with pleasure in the tub was the explosive little tease of the things to come.
The fingers of my right hand traveled along his torso as I took his pulsing cock deeper in, savoring every drop of precum that spread its delicious flavors over my tongue, savoring the little moans and shallow panting from Seth’s lips, savoring the texture of the prickles that rose along his skin where I touched him.
Snow fell faster, snowflakes flurrying in the breeze, casting tiny shadows under the string lights, but sweat broke over me anyway, the tub heating me up, making me breathless and flustered as I lowered myself and held my breath, choking on Seth’s cock with all I had to give him.
My right hand traveled down his thigh, moving inside and rising to his taint, feeling how hard it was. My fingers moved deeper, sliding between his cheeks, gently massaging his tight hole with the tip until he shuddered.
I could feel him relaxing. His cock didn’t throb as much, and his hole didn’t pulse under my finger, loosening slightly as I applied more pressure. He never stopped me, and I loved him for it. I loved him for the trust.
Seth pushed my head harder, impaling it on his cock and cutting off the flow of air instantly, but the move made my fingers stiffen. I thrust my hand forward, breaking through an invisible barrier and pushing my finger inside Seth.
A whimper broke from him, replaced quickly by short, shallow breaths that carried whispers of moans. My finger sank into him, into the warmth of his body, so welcoming and soothing.
I could feel the growing tightness around my knuckle for a long moment before he relaxed again, letting me move my hand back and forth.
And when I found the right spot, I didn’t let him rest anymore.
Each thrust was a little stronger than the one before it.
I pushed moans out of Seth’s sexy body with my skillful finger, sucking him steadily, not showing him any mercy.
Seth spilled a litany of curses and pleas as his fingers curled in my hair and yanked my head down on him, fucking my throat while I stretched his hole harder and faster.
He was all ready for me, ready for the things I wanted to do to him, clean and lubed and willing.
His hole was slick and warm when I thrust my second finger inside him, stretching him suddenly and making his dick stiffen abruptly inside my mouth.
“Fuck. I’m close,” he said, voice small and clipped like he was holding on to every shred of control he had left in him.
It wasn’t much.
His dick throbbed suddenly, and his hole clenched hard around my fingers, letting me thrust my hand toward him once or twice before the sweet flavor of his cum exploded inside my mouth.
I sucked him hard, taking every drop he could give me as cum filled my mouth and throat.
I swallowed it all, not letting a single drop escape me, and sucked him slowly while my fingers held still inside him, feeling the tension ripple through us both and dissipate incrementally in the moments that followed.
Seth shuddered with sensitivity as I slowly pulled my head up. His dick sprang and leaped with tension as I pulled my fingers out of him.
Later, we would lie by the fireplace, Seth on his back, legs wrapped around my waist, eyes holding my gaze, lips parted in a silent plea, as I fucked him slowly to the music of the crackling fire.
Later, we would roll in the bed, testing how much it could take before breaking.
Later, we would tie each other, blindfold each other, and teach each other to feel everything we could give one another with only our fingertips.
Later, I would kiss the length of his body without missing a spot.
I would massage him with scented oil and finger him while his hands were tied to the bedpost, making him come without touching his aching cock.
But that was later.
Now, I licked my lips and watched the exhausted, blissful expression on his flushed face. And when he gazed into my eyes with all the softness and warmth a human could hold in such a look, I dared to hope he loved me, too.
I shivered with lust for him. I burned with love I didn’t know where to put. I feared it, too. Not the fact that I loved him, but the intensity of it. I feared for him. Everything scared me now. The cold air descending onto us in bursts frightened me because Seth was exposed to it.
He needed to be protected because he was too precious for this wicked world.
“Your turn,” he said.
I cracked a smile, forced as it was, and shook my head. “Later. We have days, Seth.”
“And nights,” he added seductively.
“Enjoy the moment,” I said, pulling him into the center of the tub and into my arms.
I hugged him there, kissing him softly, kissing his chin, his lips, his cheeks, his eyelids. It wouldn’t be enough. A year and a half would never make up for the life we didn’t dare ask for.
And I didn’t dare ask for it because I would have to tell him. I’d have to tell him everything. And when I did, it would kill something in him. And I didn’t think I would ever have the courage to do that.
I was a coward. I didn’t deserve to love him. Even this was borrowed time, so I should be grateful to have it instead of moaning about not having the rest of our lives.
Seth kissed me back. He kissed my neck, easily finding the right spot that made me tremble. His hand traveled along my body until his palm rested against my hard cock, applying just enough pressure to drive me mad with lust, to make me see a red vignette around the winter scene.
“Come,” he said, tugging me toward the edge of the tub.
“It takes a bit more work than that,” I said.
He laughed and shook his head scoldingly. “I’ll show you the work,” he said. “Come inside with me.”
So I did. We got out of the tub, bodies steaming hot, barely feeling the chill, and stepped into the warm interior of the log cabin.
Seth walked before me, naked and seductive, moving softly along the wooden floor to the bathroom, where he picked up big, soft towels.
“Take off your shorts. You’re dripping everywhere. ”
“Yeah, that’s the reason you want me to undress,” I said in my cockiest voice and took the towel from him. I tossed my shorts onto the tiled bathroom floor, then dried my body while watching Seth do the same.
We moved into the living room, still a little damp, skin red and raw. I fed a few dry logs to the fire, then sat on the sofa and pulled Seth’s naked body into my arms, rolling back and lying down with him on top of me while the snow piled on the windowsills.
I could spend eternity here, I thought. I could be here forever, lying beneath Seth, dragging my fingers lazily along his bare back, watching the fire burn in the hearth, and feeling his heartbeat against mine.
He knew that this wasn’t a simple arrangement, didn’t he? He knew this was more precious than a hookup could ever be.
The words didn’t need saying. Speaking them aloud would just complicate something beautiful.
So I held them back again. Perhaps, in the car, I had imagined telling him the truth here.
But the truth was more complicated than either of us would have liked.
And the fact that I had stolen him from his family and taken him deep into the uncharted territory wasn’t the best thing to do with complicated truths.
So I kept my mouth shut and loved him quietly.