Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
AMEDEO
By the time the game ended, I was still incredibly intimidated by Tucker’s friend, and I still knew next to nothing about hockey. And it wasn’t that Jonah was unkind—though he was a lot more focused on me at the game than he had been at lunch.
He was just…a lot.
He had a personality brimming with sunshine and foul language, which wasn’t something I was used to. He was very touchy, which I thought might have something to do with his blindness, but it also might just be the fact that he felt like everything in the world was for his taking.
But I liked him.
I was nervous at first about asking him questions, but he was able to pick up on what I was trying to say with very little description. That was great, because I was not a very verbose man. And he was patient with my stammer. He kept everything layman so I didn’t have to google technical terms, and when I had a moment with Tucker at the glass, Jonah laughed and told me it was official.
“You’re a WAG.”
I didn’t mind the term, though I was starting to wonder if people were getting ahead of themselves. This whole thing with Tucker was—I hesitated to call it a mistake, but it certainly hadn’t been planned. It wasn’t like we were boyfriends. Or lovers.
We’d kissed and groped in the bathroom, and Tucker had promised more, but there were no strings.
I wasn’t going to do that to him.
I still had a mountain of bullshit to tie up back home before I could even begin to decide what my life was going to look like.
But the fact remained, Tucker and I weren’t a real thing. We were two ships passing in the night who turned around and passed by each other again. But we weren’t destined.
Right?
No. That was ridiculous.
“Come on,” Jonah said after the echoes of the final buzzer had long since quieted. He was squeezing my arm with his left hand, holding his cane with his right. “I can take you to see the guys.”
I felt a small fizz of nervousness rush through me. The game had been tense, and Boden had apparently been thrown out. Jonah said it wasn’t uncommon. The rules for violence with sled hockey were a little stricter since they were carrying other sharp things besides a set of skates.
So having a player ejected wasn’t totally unexpected. Though I could tell from the strange tone in his voice that Boden throwing his helmet and his stick at his coach was definitely not normal. It was obvious Jonah wanted to go see his friend, and frankly, I was excited to be in touching distance of Tucker again, even if I needed to keep my hands to myself in front of all his teammates.
“Lead the way,” I told Jonah.
He grinned. “Let’s go halvesies. I’ll lead you to the locker room, and you can lead me through the crowd so I don’t give someone an anal probe with my cane.”
I choked a little. “Uh…”
“Joking,” he said with a grin that said maybe he wasn’t entirely joking. He tapped the cane tip on the ground. It made a sort of clinking sound on the hard floors. “Come on. We’ll take the secret entrance.”
I wasn’t sure that was a good idea since I was a total stranger, but he convinced me to follow the path along the rink wall and then duck behind the doorway that the other team had used to enter the ice. There was a small corridor behind it that kind of reminded me of the skating rink I’d gone to as a kid.
And at the very end was a set of blue doors that looked heavy.
“Anyone standing at the doors?” he asked.
I shook my head, and he remained silent until I remembered I had to actually speak aloud. “Sorry, crap.”
He elbowed me and grinned. “You’ll get a pass for a while. I’m assuming you did a thing with your head.”
“I shook it. No one’s standing there.”
“Sweet. Come on. If I don’t find out what the fuck is wrong with Bodie in the next ten seconds, I’m literally going to implode, and you’ll be stuck with a pile of goo. The guys will not forgive you if I turn into goo.”
He tugged me along and felt along the side for a small panel, then cocked his hip against it. It beeped, and the doors clicked open.
“What the…do you have a microchip in your skin or something?”
He frowned, then laughed. “No. It’s a card reader. I work here, and my badge is in my pocket.”
“Oh!” I knew that. He was a coach with Tucker. “With the kids.”
“Mm. Hoping that I can convince Tucker to be our full-time coach so I can steal his job.” My steps faltered, and he tugged on me, laughing. “I’m joking. Okay, well, I’m not. But it’s because he’s amazing at what he does, and he’s being wasted on these little snot-rockets on skates.”
I had no idea what to say to that, so I kept my mouth shut as Jonah’s cane tapped gently against the right side of the wall. He obviously knew where he was going because without even checking the braille tags on the door signs, he came to a stop and jerked his chin toward the left.
“He’ll be in there. Now, I should go get him unless you want to see a giant locker room full of dick. In which case, after you.”
I felt my entire face bloom bright red. “Um…I’ll…pass?” I didn’t know if it was a test, but as much as I liked dick, ogling a locker room full of Tucker’s teammates’ junk wasn’t exactly on my agenda.
Jonah burst into laughter and tugged me into a one-armed hug. “I like you.”
“Thanks?”
Letting me go, he turned and grabbed the door handle, and when it opened, I was nearly overwhelmed with a cacophony of voices. It was loud, intense, and somewhere in the distance, someone was shouting.
Yeah, I wanted no part of that. The door closed behind Jonah, and I hunkered against the wall, hugging myself. The hallway was so silent the faint ringing in my ears sounded like a damn foghorn, and the sound of doors slamming far off made me jump.
Time seemed to both speed up and slow down at the same time, and after a beat, I realized it might be better if I left. Something had clearly gone on in the game—something that affected the team. And I wasn’t a part of that.
I took a breath, then pulled out my phone and began typing a text for Tucker so he wouldn’t think I went out of my way to ditch him.
Me: Hey, loved the game, and you were amazing tonight!
Me: I can tell things are tense so I thought it would be better if…
Tucker’s text came in before I could hit Send on the second one.
Tucker: I’ll be right out. Don’t fucking move.
My breath caught in my chest, trapped by the lump in my throat, and it took real effort to exhale. I could hear my own heart beating in my ears now. Another door slammed, and a second later, there were footsteps.
A door a few paces behind me opened, and I spun, ready to greet Tucker, but it wasn’t him. The man was using a wheelchair, and he had very thick biceps that looked like he could bench-press a car, wide shoulders, wet hair that was dark ginger but probably lightened to something much more copper, and a beard to match.
It was the beard that triggered the memory. This was the guy who’d gotten into a fight with Boden. He had what looked like would turn into a very colorful shiner over his right eye.
He stopped with his hands on his wheels and studied me for a long time.
“Tucker’s guest,” he said.
God, how could he know? Was Tucker talking about me to the opposing team too?
Shit, too much time had passed, and the silence was now awkward. “S-sorry. Sorry. Hi. I’m Amed-deo.” Really? I had to stammer on my own name?
He tilted his head to the side as he continued to regard me, and then he gave a stiff nod and pushed his wheels, gliding past me. And…that was it. He made it to the end of the corridor, opened the door, and he was gone.
“Deo.”
I spun so hard I almost lost my footing, and strong arms caught me, pulling me down to a seat? No. A lap in a wheelchair.
I looked up into Tucker’s face, and he was smiling softly. “Hi.”
“Hello.”
His smile brightened, and he pressed a calloused hand to my jaw, stroking a rough thumb over my skin. “Hello.”
“You said that.”
“No, you did.”
“I—oh my God, stop,” I said, rolling my eyes. “How are you? The game looked rough.” He had a shadow of a bruise forming just beneath the collar of his shirt, and I pressed two fingers against it. He winced, but he didn’t pull back. “You should let me up. I’m probably heavy on your legs.”
“I’m fine, and you’re not, but you can get up only if you give me a kiss first. I brushed my teeth,” he added, as if somehow that was a concern of mine.
“I didn’t brush mine.”
He hummed softly and tugged, and I went way too easily for my pride. But it felt good to let myself soften, to be held against him, kissed breathless like somehow he’d been waiting for it all day. His tongue was warm, sharp mint flavored, and very demanding. He kissed me like it was his job to make my toes curl and stomach squirm.
“I’m getting hard,” I whispered, my ears so hot it felt like they were glowing.
He pulled back, glancing down, then cleared his throat. “It’s always been a fantasy of mine to have a little locker room?—”
“No,” I said, loud and a little too quickly. His jaw snapped shut, and uncertainty clouded his expression. Shit. I hadn’t meant to do that. “It’s…there are people everywhere. I just met one of your…whatever you call them. Rivals? The guy Boden was fighting.”
Tucker didn’t fight me as I slid off his lap, and he rolled back a few inches, glancing down the corridor. “Aw, hell. I need to call him. Well, no. Bodie needs to call him.”
“Is Boden still here?”
Tucker’s expression fell, and he shook his head. “He took off after the second intermission. He, uh…he and Ford kind of got into it.” Rubbing the back of his neck, he glanced up at me. “Sorry you’re here on a total drama night.”
“It’s fine. I don’t fully understand what’s going on, but?—”
“We can’t talk about it here.” Tucker pushed forward and seized my hand, squeezing my fingers. “Look, I kind of have this thing about me where I have zero chill at all. When I see something I want, unless it’s an actual crime, I usually go for it.”
“Okay,” I said slowly, not sure if I should hold tighter or pull away. His gaze was intense. It was hard to just stand there and take it.
He licked his lips. “I want you. You figured that out, right?”
Unable to help a laugh, I shrugged. “I guess, yeah. Obviously, I want you too.” I gestured at the slight tent in my jeans.
Tucker’s gaze caught on it, and he looked at me, unblinking for several moments. “Mhm. Um…” His voice was honey thick and slow. After a second, he blinked rapidly, then glanced up. “Can I have a ride to your place?”
“To m-my place?”
“Ford and Bodie are probably going to have a huge fight, and I really don’t feel like being part of it tonight. Can I stay with you?”
This wasn’t going to be a platonic sleepover. I felt a sudden wave of hesitation because was I really ready for that? Kissing was one thing. Being groped in the bathroom and eye-fucked in an empty corridor, that was all fine.
But things with me and Bryce had just ended. He was my first and only real long-term relationship. Was I going to break some unspoken rule that would make me a pariah of the community if I moved on too fast?
“Hey.” Tucker reached for my hand again, and I didn’t pull back. He squeezed gently before running a touch over my knuckles, his calluses catching on the wrinkles. It should have been an unpleasant sensation, but God, I liked all the ways he’d touched me so far, and thinking of those rough hands on my dick had me fighting back a full, rock-hard erection. “If I’m too much, you can tell me. It won’t hurt my feelings.”
I lifted a brow at him.
“Fine, it’ll hurt my feelings because I’m a delicate flower, but I do handle it well. Most of the time. Sometimes,” he clarified. “Basically, I’d never hold it against you. I want you to feel safe with me.”
My knees felt weak when I realized just how much he actually meant that. This man who barely knew me at all wanted me more than Bryce ever had, and Tucker was working harder than him to take care of my heart.
“I’d like to bring you home with me. And I really want you.”
“But,” he pressed.
I covered my eyes with one hand and took a breath. “I just got out of a relationship, and I’m still kind of dealing with the fallout. I might not, you know, be any good at this.”
He stared, then burst into laughter. “Baby, you’re already amazing. Whatever you want to do, it’s going to knock my socks off.”
I stared down at his legs, which didn’t quite reach the end of the chair’s seat. Was he wearing socks?
He tugged on my hand, and I looked up to find him smiling. “I wasn’t being literal, but I do have socks on. Fuck,” he groaned, “you are so cute. Kiss me again, and then I can grab my bag, and we can get the hell out of here.”
I bent forward, and he took advantage of the position to yank me back into his lap, tilt my head back, and kiss the absolute shit out of me. It was one of the best kisses I’d ever had, and I was almost losing my mind at the thought that for tonight—and maybe a little longer than that—I’d get to have more.
* * *
Tucker let me go before anyone could show up, then released me to my car. “Pull around back, and I’ll meet you.”
“Is there security?”
He snorted. “No, baby. This is a public ice skating rink most days. No one gives a shit who we are.”
I had a feeling that wasn’t entirely true, but there was no point in arguing. I gave his fingers one last squeeze, and then I hurried back the way Jonah had led me. By the time I was outside, the parking lot had almost entirely cleared out.
There were lingering groups of people, a few of whom were giving me strange looks, and I knew it was because they had some idea of who I was. I just didn’t know what that meant. Jealousy, maybe? I couldn’t imagine that anyone single wanted Tucker to be with some polo-wearing nerd like me.
The man was model-gorgeous, cut like marble, and while his personality might have been a little rough around the edges, he was kind. And he was so, so sweet. If he’d been mine—really mine—I would have never let him go.
For now, all I could do was ignore the people staring, get into my car, and pull around the back. Tucker was waiting for me, now standing on his legs with his chair folded up and resting against him. He was leaning heavily on a cane with a huge bag over his shoulder.
From where I was, I could see him talking to a couple of guys I didn’t recognize at all. Then, as I reached the curb, I noticed the coach walk up and clap Tucker on the shoulder. I couldn’t make out what he was saying, but Tucker’s face was set in a scowl, so I didn’t think it was anything good.
I waited until the coach walked off before opening my door and jogging around to the sidewalk. “Can I help?”
Tucker smiled softly, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Nah. As long as my hockey bag will fit in your trunk, I can get it.”
It probably would. It was a rental, and I hadn’t tried it out, but I popped it open anyway and let Tucker fuss around until he had everything situated. I got in, watching as he fit his wheelchair in the back seat, and then he slid beside me and dropped his head back against the headrest.
“Sorry.”
My eyes widened. “What for?”
“I wanted tonight to be different. I wanted to show you off to the guys and maybe grab some pizza or something with everyone. Instead, Boden had to lodge his stick even further up his own ass. He’s refusing to listen to reason, and—” He stopped abruptly and turned toward me. “Sorry,” he said again. “I’m rambling.”
I reached for him. I couldn’t help it. I coasted a touch along his rough jaw, enjoying the way his stubble scratched at my palm. “Please stop saying sorry. I’ve had a rough couple of weeks, so I’m not exactly upset I didn’t have to socialize with a bunch of strangers.”
His eyes widened, and his sighted one fixed on my face. “Oh my God, I didn’t even ask if you wanted to—shit. Deo, please tell me if I’m making you uncomfortable.”
“You’re not.” I dropped my hand, and he snagged it before I could pull it into my lap. God, he was so tactile—like he was always searching for someone to hold.
I wanted that person to be me. Which was absolutely fucking ridiculous, considering I barely knew him, but it was impossible to ignore what my heart—and my dick—wanted so badly.
I took a breath and then said, “This has been a lot for me. I came here expecting you to be a little pissed off that I married you and then abandoned you in a hotel room, and instead you’ve been beyond amazing.”
“Okay, truth? I didn’t love waking up alone,” he admitted softly. “I thought I’d hired a hooker who stole my wallet, my legs, and possibly an organ or two.”
I flushed. “It didn’t occur to me that you were going to struggle to get back to your room until I was almost at the airport. I feel like a complete asshole for not bringing your legs back to you. I was just, well…”
“Panicking?” he offered. He sighed and reached out, stroking a touch over my hair. “I wanted to be pissed off. I came home a little upside down over everything. I was determined not to like you at all, but the moment I set eyes on you, I couldn’t help it. And that’s probably how I felt in Vegas. It’s easy not to be angry when I look at your face.”
I nodded, and I felt similar. Except, I’d gone home to a miserable life that was completely upended. But now that I was here with him, touching him, everything felt okay again. “I don’t know what to think or how to feel except that spending time with you is nice. And all your friends have been…not what I expected.”
“I hope in a good way.”
I laughed. “In the best way. But to be honest, I don’t think I’m ready to be shoved into a locker room full of people who know who I am and what we did.” I swallowed thickly. “I need time to process everything.”
He bit his lip and nodded. “I get it. Like I said, I can get ahead of myself, and I don’t want to fuck this up, so please tell me if it’s too much.”
“It’s too much.”
He stiffened. “I can respect that. You remember the way back to my place, right? I can just?—”
“No. Tucker,” I was screwing this all up. “N-not…not that. I want you to come home with me. I just didn’t w-want to meet a bunch of strangers. This is good.”
He touched my jaw again, pressing his thumb to my lower lip. “Is the stammer anxiety or a speech thing?”
“Both. It’s a speech thing that I had a ton of therapy for, but when my brain moves too fast for my mouth, or I get all worked up and panicked, it starts again.”
“Hmm.” He didn’t say anything else, and after a long moment, he dropped his hand back to his lap.
I realized that was my cue to start the car, so I did, pulling out into the street and following the softly chirping GPS noises back to the rental. It wasn’t far, and my heart had just enough time to get back to a normal beat before we were pulling into the driveway.
And then it kicked off again when I remembered I was about to be alone with him. All night.
“This is it.”
“I’ve been here before,” Tucker said, leaning forward and squinting through the windshield. “Not here, here. Not this rental. A guy I boned a few times lives a few houses down.”
My face flamed, and I felt a white-hot spear of jealousy hit me right in the gut. “Oh?”
“Don’t worry, he’s a douche,” Tucker said like the guy didn’t matter at all. Would that be me when this was all over? Some nerd who fucked him a few times? “He was just an easy lay, and sometimes I have a hard time, you know.” He made a jerking-off motion with his hand.
“Oh. Um.” Seriously, what was I supposed to say to that?
“Anyway, ignore me. Again.” He opened his door, stood up, then stared into the back seat at his chair.
“Want me to get it?”
“No,” he answered slowly. “It’s…I don’t like using it. I rarely do. Only when I have guests who might be a little freaked-out with the way I navigate the house without it.”
He meant me. I was the guest he was worried about. I walked around to his side of the car. “You know that nothing about your body bothers me, right?”
“For now. But it’s different. I know it’s different. I spent years getting over the feeling of shame that comes from existing like this because it’s…well. For people who don’t live it, it’s weird. There’s no other way to put it.” He bit his lip, then sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “When you first start learning to walk on prosthetics, they give you these tiny legs, right? They’re like…I don’t know, a foot tall or something. Maybe less. They’re adjustable, and they don’t have knee or ankle joints or anything like that. They help you practice balance, and they don’t hurt as much as my full legs.”
“Okay,” I said with a frown. I was failing to see the problem.
“I use those when I don’t feel like putting these on.” He tapped his thigh. “I also walk on my hands a lot. Or on my ass. My arms are strong as fuck.”
I laughed helplessly. “I figured that out already.”
His gaze darkened, and he grabbed me by the waist, yanking me against him. “Yeah?”
“Yes. And look, if it’s weird, it’s weird. But I’ll get over it.” Curling my hands around the back of his neck, I squeezed. I wanted to ask him how I was meant to get used to it if he didn’t show me, but that was putting the cart miles before the horse.
This was a hookup, not a marriage proposal.
We’d already done that bit, and it hadn’t worked out the way I planned my first marriage to be.
Tucker let out a breath. “I’ll leave my stuff in the car, but if it’s so weird you don’t want to do butt stuff—or dick stuff. Whatever stuff,” he said, leaning in to knock his forehead against mine, “tell me. I’d rather be a little uncomfortable and keep you horny for this body.”
“Oh my God,” I said. I started to laugh, but it was cut off with a firm, demanding kiss.
I let him devour me for long enough that I was hard all over again, and then I pulled back. “You know your, uh, hookup?”
“Sure…”
“He might be getting a show right about now.”
“Nah. He can’t see.”
“Like, at all?”
“Mhm.” He nodded and kissed my jaw again.
“Oh. You…met him through Jonah?” It was almost too easy to get lost in the feel of his lips on my skin.
He spoke against my neck. “Kind of. They were at a bar drinking to celebrate a victory, and he was there. His name is Grady. He’s a left winger. He used to play with Jonah on the Legends, but they traded his punk bitch ass to the Fury.”
“Sounds like you really don’t like this guy.”
“He’s…” Tucker went quiet. “Actually, is it okay that we don’t talk about him? He wasn’t a total monster, but we didn’t end on the best terms, and I really don’t want to think about him when I’m with you.”
I mimed zipping my lips, and he sealed it with a kiss.
“Lead the way inside,” he said when he pulled back. “We have too many clothes on, and I’ve been waiting for this since the second I met you.”
I didn’t know if he meant Vegas or here, but it didn’t matter because whatever it was, it was the same for me. It felt like a lifetime, and now I was coming home. And whether or not there was a future for us, I was not going to let any moments he could offer me pass by.