10. Dindi
We were at Hestia’s house for brunch. One thing that I’d noticed about this family was that they’d rather stay in than go out when it doesn’t involve the club. Today, Hestia wanted to have brunch. I assumed that we would go out. When Melody and I got to her house, she had a buffet spread that was catered.
The whole me not eating wasn’t a thing any longer. I woke up one morning and wanted to eat all day. Zeus and Mama Verne were most pleased with this. Weird cravings hadn’t started yet.
“What should I do?” I asked Melody, Hestia, and Hera.
Yesterday, I received an email from Aaron. He wanted to know if I wanted to meet with him and my brothers. I didn’t know what to do or how to respond.
“Jin, what do you want to do?” Hera asked. “The only thing that matters is what you want to do. What anyone else thinks about your decision is irrelevant.”
My head slightly tilted toward Melody. For some reason, I felt like I needed validation from her. When I started to talk about wanting to reach out to my father, she almost bit my head off. She was the most critical of it. My auntie told me whatever I wanted to do that she would support me. Not Melody. She made it clear that she wanted no parts of it.
Melody’s eyes met mine, and the corners of her lips rose. “Dindi, if you want to meet him and see what’s up, I think you should. Whatever you need to make peace with the situation.”
I knew that her change of heart stemmed from the conversation that Zeus had with us about the outcomes of his meeting with Aaron and my brothers. There was a relief when I found out that my father hadn’t been getting my emails or the updates that my aunt sent. He was married to the worst bitch ever. To think that a child was that much of a threat to her.
When Zeus told me that she sent my brother Cory to attack me, I didn’t know how to take that. It broke my heart that someone could be that evil. I wasn’t making excuses for Aaron because although he didn’t get the updates, he could have still reached out. I understood that, but if someone moved my child across the country for a better life that I couldn’t necessarily give them, why would I reach out? I didn’t know. It was such a complex situation.
“Have you told Zeus that he emailed?” Hestia asked before she took a sip of her mimosa.
I shook my head. “Not yet. I wanted to get y’all’s input first.”
Hera ticked her head to the side. “I’ll ask you again. What do you want?”
I thought about her question. “I want to sit down with them. I’m not saying that I’m going to like forgive my father or anything, but I want to hear what he has to say. Zeus said that my brothers never knew about me; therefore, I have no reason to hold anything against them. They are caught in the middle of this.”
“Well, if you want to sit down with them, then do that. Make sure you tell Zeus about the email before your ass sets the meeting, Dindi,” Melody sternly said.
I rolled my eyes because she knew me well. I’d set the meeting, then tell him as an afterthought. In most situations, I had the what’s done is done mindset. “I will. I promise.”
The studio that Zeus had built near our house was finished earlier this week. I started calling it our house when all my belongings were moved in. The studio was a beauty. Melody and I were extremely impressed. Another major thing that was done was him turning one of the rooms in the house into my music room. All my instruments were moved from the lake house.
It was a surprise for me, and I cried like a baby. This baby made me overly emotional. I didn’t like that at all. Mama Verne said it was a part of being pregnant. Oh, what a joy that’s going to be!
The way Zeus just fucked the neurons out of me should be studied. He found out some time ago that I was flexible. When he said that he wanted to try something, I was down. What I didn’t expect was to end up with a foot on the top of the headboard with the other on the bed while I was bent over with my head between my legs and head on the pillow. Zeus stood behind me, held me in place, and fucked the unmitigated white blood cells out of me. It was a new, confusing, but satisfying position that I’d never experienced.
After all of that, we took a shower together where he once again had me bent over. This time, though, his mouth gave me the pleasure. It was one o’clock in the morning, and I was spent. I figured this was a good enough time to let him know that my father and brothers wanted to meet with me. His face was nuzzled in my neck with his arms wrapped around me and his hand on my belly. This was his favorite sleeping position.
“My father emailed me to meet with him and my brothers. I’m going to answer him back and set up a meeting,” I blurted lowly.
He moved around behind me. In my neck, he mumbled, “That’s cute that you want to talk about that when I’m about to fall asleep, Jin. We’ll talk about it later in the morning. Go to sleep so my daughter can kick my hand.”
Yep, we were having a baby girl. Our baby girl was mellow during the day and when I moved around. The second that I fell asleep, her ass was up and playing hacky sack with my vital organs. That was the reason Zeus’s hand stayed on my belly while we slept.
When he kissed my neck, I accepted that we would talk about this later. It didn’t take long for me to settle into my sleep. We would see what colors the walls turned out tomorrow.
My eyes fluttered open, then closed quickly from the brightness of the sun through the windows. That alone told me that Zeus was up and had started his day. That man was an early bird. It didn’t matter if we went to bed at three in the morning, he would still get up at five to start his day. I asked him to sleep in with me one day, and he agreed. He still woke up at five in the morning; he just didn’t get out of bed until I did.
My nostrils widened to the smell of pancakes. He knew how to get me out of bed. In record time, I got up, took care of my hygiene, put on some clothes, and was out of our bedroom. I sat down at the kitchen island to watch the back of a god as he cooked breakfast.
“Stop looking at me like that, Jin, before I have you bent over, giving you this work.” It was like he had eyes on the back of his damn head.
I giggled. I always made sure my cochlear was on in the mornings because he moved around so much while he talked to me. “No one is looking at you.”
He peeked at me over his shoulder. “Stop lying, Jin. It’s not becoming of you.” He went back to cooking our breakfast, and I continued to watch his back.
Zeus had a body that was curated by God and perfected by the gym. He was tatted but not too tatted. That made it even more perfect. After a few minutes, he plated my food then put it in front of me. Pancakes, turkey bacon, and eggs scrambled soft like I liked them.
“You know, the doctor did say that I could eat regular bacon here and there.” I whined.
He didn’t say anything as he fixed his plate. He sat next to me, still not saying anything. Before he took his first bite, he glanced my way. “You can have regular bacon when your blood pressure is consistently under control.” I mumbled about turkey bacon being saltier than regular bacon, and he snickered. “We could always do no bacon, Jin.”
It was time to accept defeat before his ass had me eating tofu and drinking more protein shakes. We ate in silence for a few minutes before he asked me about the email from my father.
“Oh, he emailed me and asked to meet with him and my brothers. I figured I could see what he had to say.” I took a sip of my drink. “What do you think?”
He gazed at me for a second. “Baby, if you want to meet with your father, that is fine with me. I’ll be there with you.”
“You’re alright with me meeting him?” I really thought that he would tell me that he didn’t want me to.
He leaned into my space and kissed my lips. “Jin, I’m your man, not your dictator. As long as what you’re doing is not a danger to you or my baby physically, emotionally, or spiritually, then I’m good with it. I’m going with you so that I can make sure you don’t get overwhelmed.”
He told me to set the meeting at the family lounge Basil Leaf for later today. That wasn’t a problem for me because I was anxious to know what Aaron had to say. I also wanted to officially meet my brothers. I picked my phone up that sat on the counter and opened the email that he sent to me to reply.
Hi Aaron,
I’m available to meet today at 4 pm. We can meet at Basil Leaf Lounge. See you then.
-Dindi
MEET THE FAMILY…
Zeus and I arrived at the lounge around three thirty so I could eat. It didn’t open until six, but the chef and his staff arrived at three. The menu was cook-to-order, and there were special dishes weekly. The excitement in my belly when Jacob came to the table we sat at with a plate of rosemary-mustard glazed rack of lamb and brussels sprouts with applewood bacon and caramelized onion. The first thing I ate was the brussels sprouts. I wanted the bacon more than vegetables.
“You over there humming and moaning over that damn food. Don’t make me throw that shit in the trash, Dindi,” Zeus quipped.
I stopped moving the lamb toward my mouth, then turned my head slowly to look at him. When we connected our eyes, I swallowed then guffawed. “Don’t be jelly, baby.” I moved into his space. In a whisper, I said, “I love the taste of your dick more.”
He gave me that look that only he could. It was the look that made me wet the first time we met in the hospital. That longing to be inside of me look.
“Keep fucking with it, Dindi. Get fucked in my office.” The seriousness in his voice pulled a smirk out of me.
I went back to eating my food. Just as I finished, I saw my father and brothers enter the lounge. It wasn’t hard to miss since no one else was in the lounge dining room except me and Zeus. This was the first time that I’d seen them since the event. My neck snapped toward Zeus when I felt his hand on my leg that I didn’t realize shook under the table.
“Calm down, baby. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere,” he assured. His words calmed the angst in me.
The nervousness was written all over the three men that stood on the opposite side of the table. There was a stillness of uncertainty. My father cleared his throat.
“Um, hi, Dindi. Let me formally introduce you to your brothers. This is Aaron Jr. and Jason.” He pointed at each of them as he introduced them.
I smiled. “Hi. I’m Dindi.” I didn’t know what to do, so I stood from my seat, walked to the side of the table, then extended my hand.
They all looked down at my protruding belly. “Oh, wow! You’re pregnant,” AJ commented with a surprised tone.
My hand went to my belly before I glanced back at Zeus. His smile was bright. “Yeah, our daughter is taking up a lot of space in here. She’s intrusive already.”
We all chuckled. My joke lightened the mood for the moment. Zeus told us to sit down so we could talk. I moved back to my seat. Should I initiate this conversation, or should he?
“Um, Dindi, you are beautiful. You’re the spitting image of your mother,” he complimented.
My cheeks rose blushingly. “Thank you. Auntie Kadence told me that all the time.”
His expression softened. “My condolences to the loss of your aunt. She really was a good woman.”
“That she was.” I felt like that was enough small talk. “May I ask why you never tried to reach out or be involved in my life?”
He shook his head with a titter. “Yeah, you are your mother’s child, straight to it. I could give you one hundred excuses, but I won’t because there is no excuse that is acceptable for my actions. What I will say is that I should have done better and been in your life. I should have told my sons that they had an older sister. I have a lot of regrets in my life, and one of them is how I disconnected from you, even when your mother was alive.”
I processed what he said. “Why did you disconnect from me?” I shifted in my seat. “Was it because I’m deaf? Was that why you didn’t want me?”
When he dropped his head, I knew the answer. Zeus’s hand went back to my thigh, and he squeezed it gently. He knew that I had insecurities about not being wanted because of my disabilities.
“Baby girl, it’s not that I didn’t want you. I think I was intimidated with everything it took to take care of you. Your mother was so perfect when it came to that. Instead of being a good husband, I let her do it and did other shit I had no business doing. When your mother died, I was devastated. She was the love of my life, and I spent a lot of our relationship being a fuck boy. When your aunt told me about your mother’s wishes for you, and it was confirmed by the will, I thought it was best to let it be.
“I made sure I sent you money every month, but I know that I should have made more of an effort to be in your life then. I was young and dumb as hell with a lot of my mistakes,” he admitted.
Him saying that my mother was the love of his life was incongruent with him saying that he was a fuck boy to her for a lot of their relationship. “I’ll assume that your wife was one of the women that you cheated on my mother with.” I glanced at my brothers. “Your mother is evil. She sent her son to kill me, and he tried to rape me because she told him I was a ho who fucked everything. That was after she tried to kill me herself by pushing me in front of a moving car.”
Anger still sat on my chest about that. I had gone to two sessions so far with a therapist. It would take a lot more sessions.
AJ nodded. “I completely understand that. There’s nothing I can really say except sorry. My brother and mother were sick as fuck for what they did.” His acknowledgment of that meant a lot to me.
My father shifted in his seat. “To answer your question, yes, my ex-wife was one of the women that I regrettably cheated on your mother with. I don’t regret my boys; however, I wish I’d made a better decision when it came to picking their mother. Had I been on my shit like I should have been, your mother may have been theirs.”
I caught the ex-wife comment. “You’re divorcing your wife? Why?”
His demeanor became very tense. He glanced at my brothers who looked uncomfortable as well. What the hell is going on?
“Yes, I am divorcing her. I should never have married her. Like you said, she is in fact evil and have done things that are irreparable. One of those things was sending my son to attack you. As far as the sexual assault, that was of his sick doing.” He smacked away a tear that fell. “I will never be able to express how fucked up I feel about that shit.”
My heart ached for him. I was at a crossroad. Forgiveness was a crazy thing, but the reality was this part was not something that I needed to forgive him for. I reached my hand across the table and placed it on top of his. The agony in his eyes bothered me.
“Hey, I’m not saying it’s ok, because it’s not. What I am saying is that it’s not your cross to bear.”
Melody used to tell me that I forgave too easily. It wasn’t that at all. It was that I hated to hold things on my chest. I would never volunteer myself to have a stroke or heart attack because I held grudges.
“So, what is it that you’re wanting to happen from this point on, Aaron? All of this is cool, and I respect it, but I want my woman to have a clear understanding of what you wanted the outcome of this meeting to be. After everything that’s happened, I’m on high alert when it comes to her protection.”
The way Zeus protected me was sexy and needed. I never knew that I needed his kind of protection until I had it. The love I had for this man was something that hurt sometimes, in a good way. There were times when I woke up in the middle of the night and he was talking to my belly. He would tell our baby how much he loved her and how awesome her mommy was.
Jason cleared his throat. He’d been quiet the entire time. “Well, I can only speak for me, but I think I speak for my brother too. We never knew about you. If we did, we would have wanted a relationship. We can’t do shit about what happened in the past, as far as not knowing you. Now we want to know you and build a relationship.”
I couldn’t lie and say that was not what I wanted too. The way Poseidon, Hades, and Zeus carried on about their sisters was something I always wanted. AJ, Jason, and I would probably never get there, but at least we’d have a relationship.
“I would like that,” I replied. “Um, Aaron, what do you want out of this?”
He didn’t say anything for a beat. “I would like to be in your life however you would like me to be. I can’t make up for the past. All I can do is show you that I have changed and want to be in your life. I know you’re grown now and don’t need a daddy, but I would like to be there for you.”
I nodded. This was a lot to take in. With a warm smile, I responded. “I hear everything that you all are saying. Can you give me some time to think about it? A lot has happened, so it’s not an easy decision to make.”
“Of course!” Aaron stood from his seat. “Take as long as you need. Zeus, you know how to get in touch with us.” He patted my brothers on the back. “Let’s get out of here.”
AJ and Jason stood up. “Hopefully, we’ll see you soon, Sis.” I smiled at AJ’s reference of me as his sister.
Zeus and my father exchanged a few more words before he left with my brothers. My focus didn’t leave them until they were out the door. I zoned back in when I felt Zeus kiss my temple.
“You alright?” After I confirmed that I was, he smiled. “So, what do you think? Do you want to have a relationship with them or nah?”
I shrugged. “I’ve never had a father. I’m not saying that he’s going to be like an amazing dad or anything, but I’ve always wanted to know how it felt to have one. Even if it’s in the smallest sense. Does that sound crazy? I don’t want Melody to feel like her mother wasn’t enough for me though. She said that a while ago when I told her that I was emailing him.
“That hurt my feelings. Then there’s the whole thing about his wife and son trying to kill me.” I put my finger up. “I refuse to call that sick fuck my brother! Oh, and that bitch of an ex-wife of his! How dare she! That bitch?—”
My words were cut off by Zeus’s arms. He wrapped me in them tightly. “Sshh, I got you. I got you.”
I felt the tears on my cheeks. When I was overwhelmed, I rambled. My daughter started kicking me in my side, drawing my hand to where she kicked. Zeus pulled back, then put his hand over mine.
“You got my baby girl all riled up. You know she likes to sleep during the day.” His top lip turned up and eyes tightened. He was serious about his little girl. He cupped my face into his hands. “Dindi, if you want him in your life, then have him in your life on your terms. This is a journey that you have to take, and I will be there by your side every step of the way.
“I don’t know how it feels to not have that father figure in my life. I honestly wouldn’t wish the feeling of not having one on anyone. Yes, Cory was a sick fucka. You shouldn’t and don’t have to recognize him as your brother, and that’s your right. From what I know about Aaron, when it comes to being a father, he’s a great father to his boys. Now, that’s not fair since he wasn’t to you. You have to take that and digest it.”
He gave me his gorgeous smile. “If you decide not to have him in your life, you know my daddy got you. I do think you should at the least give AJ and Jason a chance to have a relationship with you.”
Zeus’s support meant everything. I didn’t know if I could do this without him. Yes, Melody would always be there for me. That was a different kind of support, and I realized that after I had it from Zeus. With my face still cupped in his hands, I kissed his lips. “Thank you for being you. I think I’ll invite them to the baby shower and go from there.”
“Good idea, love.”
This man was everything, then add some more. When I made the choice to move to North Carolina, I never thought I would meet my person, the person who took the time to ensure that he proficiently knew how to communicate with me in every form that there was. The person who looked, smelled, walked, and fucked like a god. Every time that I was in his presence, one sentence came to mind courtesy of Langston Hughes’s poem To Artina.
I will be God when it comes to you.
Zeus Sanders Basil may not have been the Almighty, omniscient God, but next to that God, what Zeus said was law. He was a god to me.