CHAPTER 18
I’m shook.
That’s the only way I can describe it. Women don’t shake me to my core – but this one…
The Ritcher Scale can’t measure the magnitude of what she just did to me. Perplexed, I frown as I sit in the car, still in the parking lot of her complex not wanting to leave her. Everything in me is pulling me back to her door, but she pushed me away.
On one end, I’m glad she did. On the other, I want her so badly, I can hardly think straight. I feel like a drunk driver behind this wheel – I’m gone in the head, nothing makes sense, and everything is blurry.
How do I start this car again?
Oh, that’s right. It’s push-button, and I was trying to start it with my key. That’s how much she has me gone in the head. I finally felt her body in my arms the way I always wanted to feel it. It’s something I thought about incessantly since she smiled at me and said good morning the very first day I laid eyes on her. Her curves, her scent, the way she held onto me like I was her lifeline, and then the way she kissed me – I don’t think I can let that go like it didn’t happen. That’s probably what she wants me to do. It’s probably what I should do – walk away – but I don’t think I can. Correction – I know I can’t.
I shift the car into gear and call Peter. He answers immediately asking, “What’s up? How’s everything?”
“Did you not get my message?”
“About what?”
Come on, Peter…
I’m already in a bad way because I’m driving away from Zimyra’s apartment when I don’t want to.
“I found out Zimyra plans on leaving the job to start her own business.”
“How soon?”
“She says she doesn’t plan on being there next year.”
“She’s making good money to be where she is, Ax.”
“Money isn’t driving this. It’s passion. She wants to start her own interior design business.”
“Oh!” He laughs. “All women think they’re interior designers. She ain’t going nowhere. Trust me on that.”
His words sting. He talks about her like he knows her when he doesn’t. I feel like defending her, but in a way that won’t raise any red flags. I say, “Don’t be so sure of yourself. She’s good at it. She designed the lobby at Atlantic, as well as the model unit. Her work is impressive. Also, she uses her own money to make the place we own look good.”
“You sound salty about that.”
“I am. She shouldn’t be using her money like that.”
“She doesn’t have to. Nobody told her to do that. She did it on her own accord. If she couldn’t afford it, she wouldn’t have done it, correct?”
“You’re missing the point, Peter.”
“Which is?”
“This—all these little things she does—is why her move-out rate is low. She’s making these enhancements to this place on her own dime like she’s the owner when it’s us. You sent me down here to find out how she’s running the joint, and I’m telling you—she’s investing in a company she doesn’t own because she cares so much about these people.”
“Okay, then run her a few thousand.”
“I’m a maintenance man, remember? You don’t think it’ll be suspicious for me to be handing her a few thousand dollars when property managers make more than maintenance workers?”
“Oh, right…forgot about that.”
“And besides all that, there’s no way she would take money from me. That’s why I told you to give her the bonus.”
“Okay. I got it. In the meantime, keep at it. Perhaps the info you’re gathering will be helpful in training her replacement.”
“What makes you think she can be replaced?” I hear myself asking, still in defense mode, only this time, I don’t care how he takes it or if it sets off any alarms. The truth of the matter is, she can’t be replaced. I don’t need to know her for another second to know that.
The line goes silent. After a few beats, Peter finally responds, “Everybody can be replaced, Ax. You know this.”
His nonchalant attitude rubs me the wrong way when it comes to her. The thought of Zimyra easily being replaced irritates my soul. Perhaps I shouldn’t be thinking this way. I’m losing my business sense and replacing it with personal feelings.
That’s not a good thing. I never have these kinds of problems with feelings , but I have them with her. I know it’s because I care about her and I shouldn’t. I don’t know how it happened, but this woman is inching close to a place I secured with a brick wall, a moat, and guards. I thought my heart was protected from caring about anyone other than my immediate family and friends, but—
“Ax, what’s going on with you?”
I sigh and say, “You say everybody can be replaced like you know her. You don’t know her, Peter. I do. I’m the one down here in the trenches. I see firsthand what she does for this company and, I can tell you with one hundred percent certainty that the answer is, no. She cannot be replaced.”
“Understood,” he says.
“By the way, did you put the bonus through? Did you send her an email telling her we’re going to roll out that app?”
“Not yet.”
I release a deep sigh as I turn into the parking garage of my apartment and say, “Peter, I need this stuff done.”
“I’m working on it, son. Do you think I can just drop everything I’m doing to make sure one person gets what they want when I oversee an organization of over three hundred people?”
“What did you send me down here to do?”
“Ax—”
“No—answer the question. What did you send me down here to do? You wanted me to crack her code, right? You wanted me to find out why she’s making us successful. I’m doing that. I’ve cracked her. When I tell you I need something, I need it. Send her the email and get payroll to push that bonus through ASAP. Please.”
“Okay. Calm down. I will take care of it within the next two days. You have my word. Her bonus will be on the next check.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Also, I think I need to caution you, Axel.”
“About what?”
“About her. You’re getting too close to this girl.”
“I’m not.”
“You are. I can hear the passion in your voice when you speak about her. You’re not down there to play boyfriend. You’re there to do a job.”
“Pops?”
“Don’t tell me I’m wrong, Axel, because I know you.”
“Yeah, and when have you known me to get too close to a woman? I told you out the gate that relationships weren’t for me.”
“I know what you said, but what if I told you I once said the same thing?”
“I wouldn’t believe you.”
“Well, I did. I was running a successful business, making my money—I was on top of the world. I didn’t need anything.”
“Then how’d you end up with my mother?”
He snickers a bit, then says, “She was the one woman I couldn’t walk away from. Every man will meet that woman no matter how often he tells himself he won’t.”
That’s a message that punches me in the chest. I don’t want to hear it, but I think I need to. It’ll help me refocus on what I’m supposed to be doing – furthering my business interest, not getting mixed up with a woman. My life isn’t here. This is all temporary. Working at Atlantic is temporary. Zimyra is temporary. My life is in Bridgeport – and it’s a good life. It’s a life people dream of. I have everything I ever wanted. I can’t give that up for a momentary lapse in judgment. Peter is right and I appreciate the reality check. I didn’t come down here to get mixed up with someone. I came to do a job. Zimyra St. Claire is a problem – a distraction – and while she’s a good one, she’s not a part of my plan.
I say, “I hear you, Peter—hear you loud and clear.”
“Good. Keep your head on straight, son. You’ll be back here in no time. Oh, and let me know how that paint thing goes.”