ELLE #2
Zodiac studied me before gesturing at the baseball game playing on his massive, wall-mounted TV. “Why are you here exactly?”
“I wanted to talk.”
“You can do that on the phone,” Zodiac said as his anger turned to a more lecherous emotion. “I assume you drove here for a more physical interaction.”
“Nope. I just wanted to see where my baby will visit one day,” I said and rubbed my belly. “I felt him last night, and I got to wondering about his future.”
“He moved, huh?” Zodiac said and went to the dark leather couch, where he stretched out his arms and flaunted his gorgeous chest. “What’s that feel like?”
“It’s like gas, but more heartwarming.”
Zodiac gave me the once over, making me feel lame and bloated. I crossed my arms and wished I hadn’t come.
“You drove all the way here. Might as well scoot your ass over here and enjoy my company.”
“I need to use the bathroom. Is yours suitable for a woman?”
Zodiac gestured at one of two doors near the kitchen. The bathroom was tiny but tidy. After using the toilet, I checked my makeup and hair. I looked decent, even if I felt swollen and unsexy.
Returning to the living room, I glanced in the open door next to this one. I only got a glimpse of a bed before I had to stop snooping.
“If you want to see my room, flip on the light and make yourself comfortable.”
Though curious about his bedroom, I suspected I’d get trapped in there with his hot bod and no memory of why I came here.
Walking over to the couch, I kicked off my shoes and shrugged, “There’s nothing wrong with being curious about my baby’s father.”
“You’re more than curious.”
“But it’s not like we can talk like normal.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re not normal.”
“No, I’m not,” Zodiac said and flashed me a hard scowl. “Normal doesn’t interest me. I don’t know why you pretend normal interests you.”
“I’m a pretty normal person.”
“Tell me about Sutter’s father.”
“He was a passionate lover and likely a genius.”
Zodiac gave me a lazy smile. “And his name?”
“Lots of normal women get blitzed and fuck random guys. I’m not all that wild.”
“You ride with a one percent motorcycle club. Stop pretending to be normal.”
“The club life is what I grew up with. When I was a kid, my dad and uncle would disappear in the middle of a family meal. I knew they might come back banged up. I would put peroxide on my dad’s cuts and hold an ice pack on his sore spots. That’s normal for me.”
“It might be normal for you, but you’re aware it’s not normal. My life is normal to me. It would scare the shit out of most people. I don’t pretend I’m normal.”
Shrugging, I mumbled, “I guess you’re right.”
“I usually am.”
“I wish you were approachable.”
Leveling his icy gaze on me, Zodiac murmured, “Elle, you’re free to crawl your sweet ass closer.”
I fought a shiver at the sound of my name in his sexy voice. Shaking my head, I said, “I meant I wish you were easier to talk to about feelings and stuff.”
“What feelings are you holding back?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never wanted anyone before, but I do want you.”
“Of course, you do. But besides fucking and feelings, what are you looking for?”
“I don’t know.”
“I think you do.”
“No, I really don’t. I’m excited about the baby, and I want to spend time with you. But I don’t want anything in my life to really change.”
Zodiac eyed me like I might be nuts. I prepared for him to give me shit. Instead, he reached over and claimed a lock of my hair.
“Your son looks like you and your brother,” he said as he played with my hair and watched me with a curious gaze. “I want this boy to look like me.”
“I have no control over that.”
“Even so, you should be aware that I’ll be disappointed if he doesn’t look like me.”
“What’s wrong with our son looking like me?”
“Nothing but you already have people who look like you. No one looks like me.”
“Do you mean because you’re special or because you have no family?”
“All my people are dead, down to the last distant cousin.”
Feeling pity over the little boy Zodiac once was, I asked, “How?”
“They were losers, every single one. Drunks and junkies. Morons and hot heads. Weaklings, the whole lot of them.”
“Why would I want a kid like that?”
“This boy won’t be like them because he’ll grow up in your family and not mine. But I want the kid to look like me. That way, when I’m dead, someone will carry on my good looks.”
As I studied his chest inked with colorful images, I murmured, “Well, you are good-looking.”
“I can smell your wet pussy from here.”
Lust gone, I grumbled, “Grow up, perv. I’m swooning from a crush, not soaking my panties.”
“A crush,” he said and chuckled like I was dumb.
“Would it really be better if I only wanted to ride your dick?”
“Maybe. I don’t know what either of us can do with a crush.”
“Well, I have girly feelings for you,” I said and inched away from him.
“Maybe I’ve confused attraction with something else.
I never dated before Sutter. I just don’t find men that sexy.
I even thought I might be a lesbian, but I don’t find women at all that sexy, either.
So, then I thought maybe I was asexual, and my vibrator would be my great love. ”
“Are you planning to help me with the hard-on you’ve inspired?”
“You have two perfectly good hands, Zodiac. They know exactly how you like your dick handled, too. What do you need me for?”
Zodiac still played with my hair. “You really don’t get fucking, do you?”
“Not really.”
“If you really didn’t come here to fuck, what the hell do you want to talk about? Is this your way of saying you want to date? Is marriage your end goal here?”
“No way do I want to get married, but dating could be fun. The problem is I can’t show up and ride your dick whenever I want, can I?”
“Because of the Void?”
“No, because your dick is likely toxic,” I said and gestured at his crotch. “I’m surprised you didn’t give me a disease from our quickie at the clubhouse.”
Zodiac’s expression turned sour. “I keep my dick safe. I eat healthy. I exercise. I go to the doctor for checkups. I take care of myself because no one loves me more than I love myself.”
Whenever Zodiac gave away how he grew up unloved, I immediately wanted to wrap him in my affection and fix what others broke.
“This baby might love you,” I said softly, trying to see Zodiac as a normal man rather than an unknowable beast. “He probably won’t love you more than you love yourself. Kids are naturally selfish. They need to learn empathy and how to sacrifice for others.”
“Well, no one taught me those things, and I’m not learning them now.”
Losing my soft feelings for Zodiac, I blurted out, “Will you be mean to our kid?”
“Maybe. I don’t edit myself around children. I tell Nova’s girls when they fuck up.”
I cradled my belly and frowned at him. “You and I should fuck a few times, so I get this crush out of my system. Then, I’ll focus on the baby, and you can be you without any hassles.”
“Don’t get your feelings bruised up like a dropped banana. Kids are tough enough to handle a rude mouth.”
“I don’t want to raise our baby in the same way you were raised. I want him to feel loved.”
Zodiac nodded while tapping my nose. “Yeah, but he can’t be weak.”
“My brother isn’t weak.”
“Your son is.”
“No, he’s not,” I muttered, ready to go to war for my boy. “Sutter knows karate. When a kid bullied him at school, he broke the little shit’s finger without losing his cool. The principal usually babied Sutter, but he insisted on an in-school suspension as punishment.”
“What the hell is that?”
“Sutter stayed in the principal’s office all day for a week.”
“How is that a punishment?”
“He wasn’t with his friends.”
“Did he care?”
“No,” I said and shrugged. “But the principal didn’t know that. And the bitchy parents of the bully didn’t, either.”
Zodiac studied me. “You should want this kid to look like me. I was a cute baby. I have a picture to prove it.”
“Just one?” I said, immediately wanting to comfort him before realizing he might be tricking me into lowering my guard. “Wait, how did you get in my pants that night? Did you happen to mention the one picture thing? Was that night a pity fuck?”
Zodiac dropped my lock of hair and narrowed his eyes. “Do you really not remember that night?”
“I remember you smelled great, and I have a vague memory of an orgasm. Most of that night was like a dream.”
“You said yes,” Zodiac grumbled. “Don’t try claiming otherwise.”
“I wanted you before I was drunk, but I only said yes because I was drunk. Does that make sense?”
“No.”
“Well, you’re a big boy. Do some hard thinking until you get it.”
Zodiac shrugged and reached for my hair again. “You came on scorching hot. If anyone was bullied into sex, it was me.”
Rolling my eyes, I leaned back and sat at the other end of the wide couch. “Why did I kiss you? Was it the baby picture ploy?”
“It’s not a ploy. I was a cute baby.”
“All babies are cute. Some of the ugliest people I’ve ever met were cute babies.”
Zodiac insisted, “Well, I want a kid that looks like me.”
“Did you want a kid before I told you that I was pregnant? Was that why you were hounding me? I mean, I get it. I’m an exceptional mom. You’re lucky to create life with me.”
“Where’s your kid while you’re here begging to get laid?”
“I came here to talk to you and maybe get laid. Sutter is with his grandparents, who adore him. I can still be a good mom without spending every second at home.”
“How would I know? My mom was dead before I was old enough to truly understand how much she sucked.”
“I feel like this poor-me sob story is how you got me to spread for you.”
“Is that all it would take for a man to get in your pants?”
“If the man were a sexy biker like you? Sure.”
Zodiac smiled smugly. “A sob story didn’t gain me access to your pussy.”
“I won’t believe you unless you fess up.”
Studying me, Zodiac muttered, “Because you genuinely don’t remember?”
“Does that bother you?”
“Actually, it does. Fucking you was a great triumph for me. To know you weren’t actively participating ruins the memory.”
“Quit your bitching and fess up to what tactic turned me from ‘eww’ to ‘ooh.’”
Zodiac ran his tongue across his teeth, making me wonder if he planned to fuck or cannibalize me. I was interested in that first one if he told the truth.
“I asked you to get a drink with me alone sometime.”
“Aww, a date,” I said, laughing at the thought. “What a dork.”
Zodiac chuckled at my amusement. “You said you didn’t date anyone, and I needed to stop asking.”
“And you respected my decision, which impressed me so much that I fucked you?”
“Do you want to hear this or not?” he asked and patted the couch to lure me closer.
Despite knowing this man was my weakness, I dared to crawl closer. Zodiac smirked at my obedience.
“I said I was interested in you, so you needed to get over your no-dating rule,” Zodiac said in a soft, seductive voice while patting the couch again.
I inched closer, wondering if his confession would end with me tasting his lips or smacking his face.
“Then, what happened?” I whispered.
“You asked me if I read Sutter Cane,” Zodiac said, and my brain itched with a blurry memory from that night. “I explained that Sutter Cane was a character in a movie and not a real author. That’s when you kissed me.”
As a teenager, I went through an anxious period where life overwhelmed me.
I couldn’t get myself settled. Normally, I hated horror movies, but I was hanging out with Sabrina, Xandy, and Vanessa around Halloween.
They wanted to watch something scary. One of the films that night was “In the Mouth of Madness.” The movie scared the ever-living-shit out of me.
I had a panic attack and cried before it was even over.
Afterward, every time I got anxious in real life, I’d remember that terrifying apocalyptic movie.
Nothing in my day-to-day existence was nearly as scary as the nightmare fuel of “In the Mouth of Madness.” Somehow, the movie fixed a broken part of me.
That’s why I named my son after the bad guy in the movie.
But whenever I asked anyone, “Do you read Sutter Cane?” they had no idea about the 1994 movie.
Except for Zodiac!
I finally knew why I put out at the clubhouse that night. It was the same reason my clothes were about to come off!