ELLE
Zodiac and I arrived at York’s house to find the move underway. I promised him again how I’d chill out, so he could focus on his friends. Zodiac still checked on me repeatedly throughout the afternoon.
While I was lazy, Lula organized the kitchen with Alabama. Sutter, Skylar, and Lyric played on the backyard’s swing set left over from when the girls lived here.
I sensed Nova might be sad over her former house’s changing décor, so I asked her about the updates she made. That kept her busy for a few hours. She’d apparently redone the entire house.
“If you ever want to start a business, maybe you could do house rehabs,” I suggested as we joined the kids outside. “You’re really smart about home repair.”
“Do you think I should get a job?”
“You already have a job, don’t you? I thought you took care of the houses for Lula.”
“That’s not a real job. I live in the houses, so it’s just me taking care of my homes.”
“You need to own your awesome qualities more. Be a diva. It’s fun.”
Nova smiled. “Does being a diva help you deal with Zodiac?”
“Yes, like today with his foster mom stinking up the world with her presence. If I were less diva-like, she might have upset me. But my sass acted as armor against the wig-wearing infected toe.”
“Was she mean to you?”
“I don’t care what a random bitch says to me. But the fact that she still comes around just to hound Zodiac pisses me off.”
“When she had surgery on her knee, he showed up as she was leaving the hospital to smile smugly and jog in place. Exile said they like to torment each other.”
“Zodiac’s all messed up.”
“Is he sweet to you?”
“Yes. He bought me snacks for his apartment. He also let me hold the remote this morning,” I murmured before adding, “He wouldn’t let me push the buttons, though. Baby steps, I guess.”
Nova snickered. “He hogged the remote at our house, too,” she said before looking around and losing her smile. “I miss this house.”
“I’m glad someone good bought it. You can still visit the house and see how happy it makes York.”
“Does it make him happy?”
We glanced back through the sliding glass door to see York standing in the living room. His expression was unreadable.
“Let’s pretend that’s his happy expression and move on.”
Nova nodded. “York doesn’t smile a lot. He and Dan would sit out back and silently not smile next to each other.”
I felt a strange stirring whenever I heard details about the Black Rainbow club. The members held new value to me. I was protective of them now. These people were the only true family Zodiac had ever known.
That afternoon, I tried to make small talk with several members. The only one who would chat was Sugar, and I think he was mostly trying to make nice with Nova.
“He likes you,” I murmured to her when Zodiac told his club brother to help him with the final big piece of furniture. “What’s the hold up?”
“I’m not interested in dating anyone,” Nova said, and I got the sense she was thinking of a particular man.
“I get it. You’re hot for Zodiac,” I announced and sighed loudly. “I don’t blame you, but he’s never going to give you what you want.”
Nova’s mouth popped open, and she let out a squeaky noise. Before she could defend herself, she narrowed her gaze and shook her head.
‘You’re messing with me.”
“Of course. If I thought you were after my baby daddy, I’d tear your hair out. I’d also insist you couldn’t fight back because I’m with child.”
“You really like Zodiac.”
Leaning closer, I whispered, “I love him, but don’t tell anyone.”
Nova’s gaze searched for Zodiac, but he was in the main bedroom with the guys. I could hear them arguing over how to put something together.
“He cares about you,” Nova whispered. “The softest I’ve ever seen him act was toward the girls, and he still gives them grief. But he acts completely different when he’s with you. I think maybe he loves you, too.”
“I don’t want to move here,” I told Nova while gripping her hand. “I don’t want to leave my family. My life in Little Memphis is great. I love everything about it except how Zodiac isn’t there.”
“Zodiac loves Baton Rouge,” Nova said as a gentle way to explain what I already knew.
“We’ll have a long-distance relationship,” I said, nodding too much. “It’ll be fine.”
Nova’s expression mirrored how I felt inside. I was fooling myself into believing I could control my heart.
After the guys finished moving everything where it needed to go, Zodiac, Sutter, and I drove Exile’s SUV to pick up pizza, beer, and soda from a nearby restaurant. I couldn’t deny how good I felt riding with them like we were a family.
A little part of me began daydreaming about living in Baton Rouge. The thought was terrifying. Sutter had only known one house. I didn’t think I could live on my own with two boys, and I highly doubted Zodiac wanted to get a place together.
“Why are you pouty?” Zodiac asked as we rolled up to York’s house with everyone’s meals.
Shaking my head, I didn’t know how to explain my feelings without dumping a mountain of emotional garbage on Zodiac and Sutter.
“It’s just hormones,” I lied. “I was moody at times when we stayed in Pennsylvania.”
Zodiac glanced at Sutter who nodded. I smiled at how well they got along. My boy knew how to handle men like Zodiac.
Easy listening music played in the house as we handed out pizza and drinks to everyone. York settled out back and seemed satisfied by the hard work. Lyric and Skylar asked why he kept their swing set.
“To bribe you to visit,” he replied, making them look to Nova to find out what “bribe” meant.
This evening had the same family atmosphere that we shared at Lula’s place yesterday. Except now I struggled with leaving tomorrow.
When Zodiac cornered me in the kitchen, he didn’t seem impressed with my fake smile.
“I talked to Exile about bunking at his place tonight. He said Sutter didn’t sleep well last night. This way, you can keep your boy happy, and I can have access to your pussy.”
Staring up at him, I felt the tears burning my eyes.
“Good Lord, what now?” he asked, trying hard to sound bitchy.
“I’m getting attached to you.”
“Shouldn’t my news make you happy, then?”
“It does, but I’m also thinking about how my pussy will be neglected when I return to Little Memphis,” I said and wiped my eyes. “The upside is I won’t have to suck your dick.”
Zodiac gave me a little smirk. “You’ve been overly whiny all day.”
“During your research on pregnancy, did you happen to find any information on mood changes and hormones?”
Studying me, Zodiac said, “I want to make sure you’re not upset over Caren’s bullshit.”
“Are you asking if I still pity you?” I asked and cupped his jaw. “The answer is yes. I want to hug Mikey and tell him that he’s a special boy who will one day be a beautiful badass. Unfortunately, Sutter hasn’t conquered time travel yet, so I can only feel sad for the boy you once were.”
Zodiac eyed me in that skeptical way he got sometimes, as if I might be fucking with him. I finally grinned at how paranoid he could be.
“I’m tired,” I said and rested my cheek against his chest. “Your dick kept me up too late last night.”
“Well, you’ll need to nap in the car tomorrow because I plan to keep poking you tonight.”
No matter how much we smiled at each other, I felt something shifting between us.
The reality was that we had quickly jumped from “parents with benefits” to a dating couple.
Staying overnight at Lula’s house was a big move, just like when he announced yesterday to his club that he was going to be a dad.
With Zodiac and I now officially in the dating mode of our relationship, we were bound to face the stark reality of what our future could truly offer.
Neither one of us wanted to give up our current lives.
Maybe we could get comfortable with the present scenario of bouncing back and forth.
After all, I would be busy soon with the baby.
Zodiac also felt like focusing on me was taking time away from his club.
So, maybe we’d settle into a casual long-term relationship. No tears or broken hearts. We’d hook up once or twice a month until we were too old to screw anymore.
As we followed Lula and Exile to their house, I knew the only way I could be happy with such a casual relationship would be to adjust my expectations. Zodiac wasn’t Ford. I wasn’t Shay. We weren’t inseparable. We could enjoy independent lives without losing our spark.
Everything could be fine, if I could stop wanting to wrap Zodiac in my arms and never let him go.