Chapter 10
TEN
RYAN
Between the booze buzzing through my system, being reminded about my future, and the constant thrum of need burning me since Nate arrived, I was close to combusting. That, or I would make a tit out of myself, since all I wanted to do was lean into him and steal a kiss.
That thought had played on my mind for weeks, even before seeing him in the flesh. When he’d stepped off the plane, my attraction had solidified. Since then, the need had grown enough to make me antsy.
But neither truly sealed the deal of whether or not I should go for it.
No, that had happened the moment I’d made tonight’s winning shot and immediately sought him out. Nate’s gaze had already been on me when I located him in the jumping, cheering crowd. My breath had caught, and that warm, awe-filled smile directed at me, the sheer joy on his face, was it.
It was the moment I’d decided that as soon as we were alone, I was going to kiss the shit out of him, go all in, and deal with the fallout should there be any.
“You okay?” Nate asked as we stood side by side in the elevator, heading to the suite.
I bobbed my head and offered a short “Yep,” not confident I could manage anything else without taking what I wanted.
Heat flushed through me when we were just one floor away.
This was it. Fuck, I was nervous, though the wave of excitement, the tingle of possibility, sat right there alongside my dry mouth.
When the ping sounded, the doors slid open, and I stepped out, Nate close behind me.
My breaths were heavy, seeming too loud in the quiet corridor. Soft-footed steps sounded behind me, each movement sending a fresh shiver through me.
He felt something. I was sure of it. I’d heard it in the calls, had seen it in his soft smile in our video calls, and every second since we’d finally been together.
Being wrong was a possibility, but I hoped to God I wasn’t.
We stepped into the room in silence, nothing but the hammering of my heart and my too-loud breaths filling my head.
Nate stepped past me once the door was closed and headed to the high stool alongside a bench in the small kitchen space.
He sat and kicked off his shoes, eyes on the task, and quite possibly avoiding me since I’d made the last five minutes super weird.
“Sit down and let me grab some ice for your ankle.”
Ignoring him, I took a step in his direction and reached out and took his hand in my own.
The sound of his shoe hitting the floor punctuated the movement.
Brushing my left thumb over his palm, I was tempted to close my eyes and absorb the moment, but I was sure that would be weird as fuck and make him wonder what the hell I was doing.
A quick inhale, and I darted my gaze to him. His eyes were fixed on our hands, a soft pink obvious on his cheeks. It felt like an age before I could release a breath and work out what my next move was.
That he hadn’t pushed me away was one thing, but with my thumb still stroking his hand, his own breathing changing pace was all I needed to know.
“Nate, I—” My words were stolen by Nate as he brushed his lips against mine, ripping a gasp from me. His hands were on my waist, hauling me close, his thighs spreading wide to accommodate me. I’d barely found my feet before he held me tight and fused his mouth with mine.
He was bold and brave and so fucking beautiful. And everything I wanted. And that he’d made the first move after my fumbling and my overthinking…? Nate could take the lead any time he wanted.
My head swirled with the intensity of the kiss, the rightness of it. The spark flaring between us was almost unbearable. Energy buzzed through my veins, my limbs, forcing me to grip the back of his shirt, hold on tight, and deepen our kiss even further.
Never, as in, honest to God ever, had I ever reacted this way to anyone before.
Desire pulsed through every inch of my body.
Need for Nate licked at my skin. Only Nate.
It felt as if the whole of my life was leading up to this, and I didn’t even have the will to roll my eyes at that overly romantic bullshit.
Because it was true, and wasn’t that a heartfuck.
The notion brought me back momentarily to reality. I almost scoffed at how ridiculous I was being. Yes, Nate was an amazing kisser, everything I’d imagined and so much more, but the idea of us being cosmically linked, soul mates of some sort….
Not realizing that I’d actually stopped kissing Nate, I became aware of his concerned gaze. A slight frown played across his brow, making me want to reach out and remove all traces of worry and doubt.
“I can stop if you want me to. I just thought this was—”
Hell to the no.
I didn’t give Nate the chance to finish. I angled and kissed his sexy-as-sin mouth, deep and hard. He growled lightly in response, urging me on. I locked my fingers behind his neck and tugged him closer.
After a second, almost primal growl, my breath rushed out of me when he wrapped his legs around my thighs. My control slipped when he deepened our kiss. I couldn’t contain my need. As our kiss deepened, my body took over, almost to the point of desperation.
This right here was what I’d been missing. Nate’s mouth, his touch, this complete connection.
I caressed his back and moved to unbutton his shirt with a shaky hand. I kissed his neck and traced hot kisses down to his chest to his nipple. Nate moaned when I lapped at his pink peak, and I bit down gently. He pushed himself closer to me as he rubbed against my groin.
Fuck, I was going to come in my pants.
My muscles became impossibly taut, my orgasm dangerously close to the surface as my desire peaked far beyond anything I’d ever experienced.
I needed him.
Here.
Now.
Consequences be damned.
Angling away, I unbuttoned his jeans, my palms sweaty, hands still shaky, but fuck I wanted this to happen. Wanted to taste and savor him. Wanted to finally bring just one of so many of my fantasies to actualization.
Wordlessly, he shifted his hips, the movement enough for me to risk making eye contact.
I shouldn’t have.
With his top teeth buried in his bottom lip, his cheeks pink, and his eyes connected with mine, my breath caught, and I paused, forgetting what my hands were doing, too caught up in the intensity in his gaze.
When he released his bottom lip, he raised his palm and stroked my cheek. The shake of his hand helped me to breathe, remember to take in air and exhale.
“You okay?” His voice was deep, breathy, and tinged with a tremble. “Your foot—”
“Fuck my foot.”
He laughed abruptly, and I smirked.
I took a deep breath and answered more quietly, “I’m okay.” His gaze dropped to his pants and my hand half inside his jeans. His cock twitched against my fingers, and I huffed out a laugh, ending in a smile.
“I think you’re more than okay too.” His own smile was easy, immediate, reaching his eyes and—
The loud bang on the door made me jump, startling the crap out of me. Reacting without thought, my body locked up, hands clenching on instinct.
“Ouch, fuck, shit.”
Alarmed, I cringed and released his cock, having gripped without thinking and far too fucking hard. “Shit, I’m sorry. You okay?”
He grunted and held his junk, brows furrowed. “Uh-huh, yep.” The strain in his voice did nothing to reassure me that I hadn’t broken his dick.
The door banged again, and I jerked my head in the direction, half expecting someone to break it down.
“I’m just gonna….” He trailed off. “Why don’t you deal with that?” Nate indicated toward the door, and I eased away from him. With my cock already deflating, my heart pounded in concern, wondering who was at the door, I nodded.
Nate stood and moved toward his room, and I took a calming breath before making my way to the door. Opening it, I groaned.
Jayden and Sutton stood in my doorway, Jayden barely managing to hold himself up and Sutton eyeing me from head to toe. He was the one who spoke first with a lazy grin. “Not disturbing anything, are we?”
I clenched my molars and forced a smile. “No. Just about to head to bed, though.” I should have known better than to think that would have been a deterrent for my friends.
Jayden pushed past me, reeking of booze. “How’d you get such a good room?”
“Come on in.” I rolled my eyes, and Sutton stepped in too, patting my shoulder as he walked past me.
“Seriously. You have a kitchen and a lounge.” Jayden swayed, looking around the space with squinty eyes. “Why are there so many doors? Sutton,” he hollered, making me cringe. “Am I seeing double, or are there more doors?”
I sighed and headed to the lounge area, actively avoiding looking at the small kitchen area and the high stool where I’d finally had my mouth on Nate’s. “It’s a suite, and I organized it because of Nate.” I plopped down on the sofa, eyeing both of the men as they followed suit.
“Oh yeah. Where is Natey boy?” Jayden asked, kicking his feet up and stretching out. Sutton knocked Jayden’s feet off his lap, causing Jayden to start grumbling.
“Bed, I think,” I answered, hoping like hell I sounded casual.
“Huh. It’s early.” Jayden grinned and bounced his eyebrows up and down. “Has he got someone with him? He’s into dudes, right? I saw a couple of guys flirting with him at the bar. Is he checking out the American wildlife?” Jayden laughed at himself while I froze all over.
I didn’t even know where to start with any of that.
Nate was out, even though we’d only skimmed the surface of that conversation, but his sexuality was nothing to do with anyone.
Then was the fact that he’d been flirted with.
When the fuck did that happen, and how did I not notice? I didn’t like that thought one bit.
“It’s almost midnight,” I snapped, going with the only response I could handle. “It’s not early,” I added a little lamely, the heat disappearing from my words.
“What’s wrong with you?” Sutton narrowed his assessing eyes at me.
I swore to God the man was far too perceptive for his own good.
“You’re all wired, on edge or something.
” His gaze widened a second later. “Shit, has Nate brought someone back with him?” A frown followed, and I didn’t have the chance to respond before he continued, “Nah, no chance of that. Not when he was eye-fucking you all night.”
Blood rushed into my head. The pulse in my temples beat so fast and loud, it took all my ability to think straight, let alone take a breath.
“Fuck.” Jayden cut through the loud noise in my brain. “He looks like he’s going to pass out.”
“What?” The voice didn’t sound like my own. “I’m fine, and you’re full of shit.”
Jayden seemed a lot more sober when he sat upright, his concerned gaze settling on me. “Full of shit about what?”
I pursed my lips, not knowing how to answer.
“Nate’s definitely into you, but the question is…” He angled his head, examining me.
I wanted to bolt, to get the hell out of this room, rewind five minutes and go back to my hand on Nate’s cock and not answering the door. I could be kissing his dick right now rather than dealing with a racing heart and deliberating what to do, say, or how to react.
“…are you into him?”
I huffed out a panicked laugh and brought my hand to my mouth, bit the nail of my thumb, and shook my head.
The forced smile on my face was painful.
“The fuck you talking about? Course not. He’s just Nate.
He’s just being friendly. Just because he’s into guys doesn’t mean he wants to fuck every man he’s nice to. ”
“No shit, Broadwater. I’m not a dickhead and don’t think that either.”
“Good, ’cause he’s not like that. He’s a good guy.”
Jayden bobbed his head, and I flicked a glance at Sutton, who remained eerily quiet at his side. “You know if you’re interested in him, that’s okay, right?” Jayden continued.
My stomach bottomed out, and I felt the color drain from my face.
Wasn’t this everything I hoped to hear, wanted to know from my friends that I had their support?
I gaped at them, willing the words to spill out, desperate to share my truth with them.
“I—” I snapped my mouth shut, nausea swirling in my gut.
I couldn’t be out. I couldn’t be at the center of so much fucking attention that would come my way.
I shook my head and straightened. It wasn’t the time. My courage evaded me, ran, and dodged my grasp. “No. You’re being ridiculous. Nate’s my friend, and that’s all he’ll ever be.” The words tasted bitter in my mouth.
Sutton’s gaze shifting caught my attention. I didn’t want to follow, didn’t want to see what I already expected to find. Pain punctured through my heart when I looked. Nate’s expression was shuttered, his attention on me for the barest of moments before he tore it away, focusing on Sutton.
“Hey.” The tight smile was unnatural, forced, and shit if that didn’t have my knees shaking and wanting to stand up, beg him to listen.
I swallowed back the desire to do just that, knowing the fact I would be asking him to listen rather than taking my words back meant I didn’t deserve a single thing from Nate.
“I was just coming to say goodnight and remind you to ice your ankle… so, night.” He gave a chin lift and went back to his room.
The sound of the lock engaging hit hard. My teeth clamped the inside of my cheeks.
“Shit, sorry, Broadwater, you think he heard us? I didn’t mean anything by it.” Jayden’s voice was finally low, genuine concern evident.
“I’m sure he’s fine, just tired,” I lied. “Why are you guys here anyway?”
“Was just going to see if you wanted to meet for breakfast in the morning.” Jayden shrugged. “Seems stupid as shit now.”
I sighed. “You think? Your cell not working?”
He shrugged again.
“We’re going to head off.” Sutton stood and dragged Jayden up with him.
“We’ll text you about breakfast.” They headed toward the door and opened it.
Before Sutton pulled it closed, he turned to me, his lips pressing together.
“Listen, I’m sorry if we fucked anything up, but we both have your back. Just remember that, okay?”
Surprising the heck out of me, Sutton reached out and hauled me into a tight, brief hug. I hugged him back, pissed at myself that I believed him yet still didn’t share what was in my heart.
When he eased away, he ruffled my hair a little, like the dickhead I was used to. “When you go back home, just spend proper time with Nate and your family. Figure out what you want and what’s good for your heart, okay?”
I couldn’t do anything but nod as I clamped down on my lips, too afraid my emotions would spill out and life would irrevocably change.
I wished I was ready for that, but faced with the reality, I just wasn’t quite sure when or if that would ever happen.