Chapter 13
THIRTEEN
NATE
It didn’t take me long to recognize I was fooling myself and doing a shit job at it.
Beneath the strobe lighting and heavy beats of the music, pressing against Ryan destroyed all levels of pretense. The connection, his body against mine, and the intensity in his eyes when ours finally connected eviscerated my sense of self-preservation.
I needed Ryan so badly and would take him however I could get him. With his stiffy brushing against mine as we moved to the beat, the rough denim rubbing in a not-so-soft caress, I was willing to play dirty to get him.
“Did you have anything else to drink, or are you good to drive?” I asked, leaning in closer to speak into his ear.
The shudder that rippled through him had me gripping his waist even tighter. He angled his head away and peered the few inches down to make eye contact. “I’m good to drive now.”
I bobbed my head, not looking away from the intensity directed my way. “I think we should leave.” A flick of my chin to his shoulder reminded me we weren’t dancing alone. When I returned my attention to Ryan, understanding registered as he peered back at me. “You tell Jayden; I’ll deal here.”
Our gazes lingered, and my heart flipped when a small smile tilted his lips. It was hard to pull away, difficult to lose sight of the man, but with a wave of certainty, I knew this was where I was meant to be—with Ryan.
We’d missed out on too many years already. There wasn’t a chance I could continue to ignore our connection.
Turning to Lizzie, the woman I’d been happily dancing with, I smiled and leaned in. “Thanks for keeping me company. I have an early start tomorrow, so I need to get out of here.”
She simply nodded, planted a kiss on my cheek, and kept on dancing.
Grateful that she was so chill, I winked, telling her to have fun before I searched for Ryan.
I didn’t have to look far. Jayden was saying something to him, while Sutton’s stare was on the two of them.
With a deep exhale, needing to keep myself together, I headed on over.
“…ass back here,” Jayden said, his focus turning to me. “And you, you Aussie fucker, get your ass over here and say goodbye properly.”
A bubble of emotion formed in my chest, taking me by surprise. I barely knew these blokes, yet they’d been nothing but great. Plus they’d had Ryan’s back the last few years. Knowing that made it feel like more than a few days since meeting them. I was tugged into Jayden’s arms with an “oomph.”
“You keep an eye on my Aussie friend, you hear me?”
I patted Jayden’s back. “There’s no worries about that. He’ll be all good.”
Sutton appeared at my side and grabbed me up in a firm hug. “You be patient with him, okay?”
I angled away to see his face and swallowed hard at the intensity of his stare. The question died on my lips. I knew exactly what he was talking about. Nerves burst to life in my gut, and I shot a glance at Ryan. He was caught up in whatever Jayden was saying.
Whether Sutton suspected or not, I wouldn’t be confirming anything, certainly not with words.
Instead, I gave a barely there nod, saying, “He’s still my best friend…
.” I trailed off, knowing if I said more, the emotion in my voice would make it clear that Ryan Broadwater was so much more to me than that.
After finally getting out of the private club and with only a couple of camera flashes once we stepped outside, we were soon settled in Ryan’s car.
I snorted as a memory popped into my head, tearing through the quiet car.
“What?” he asked, and I realized it was the first thing either of us had said since the dance floor.
Angling to look at Ryan’s profile, I smiled at him. “Just thinking about Davey’s party.”
Ryan chuckled and shook his head. “You mean when Linda vomited on the roof of your dad’s car, and we spent three fucking hours hosing the damn thing off the next morning?”
“Right. I know it was a hot night, but that sick stuck like tar.”
A louder laugh spilled out of Ryan. “Do you even remember why she was on the roof in the first place?”
I shook my head, amusement lighting me up. “We had some good times, right?”
After a beat of silence, Ryan glanced over, a small smile directed my way. “The best.” When he refocused on the road, I watched his Adam’s apple bob, and he flicked out his tongue, wetting his lips.
“Just ask,” I said, more than aware something was on his mind with those tells.
His gaze darted at me, albeit briefly. “When did you know?”
There was no need to ask for clarity; the reference was clear, and this whole conversation was long overdue. “I suppose deep down forever, but more certain when we were fourteen or fifteen.”
Unspeaking, Ryan nodded.
“I told my folks when I was in my first year at uni. Your gran and sister not long after.” A humorless laugh escaped me before I said, “I downed five shots of tequila before I did.”
Ryan’s grimace was understandable. Since the time we’d both got trashed on tequila when we were seventeen at a friend’s party, I’d sworn never to drink the stuff again, but that visit home from uni had called for desperate measures. Tequila had done the trick.
“How’d your folks react?”
Warmth enveloped me just thinking about how great my parents were.
They’d reacted exactly as I’d hoped and expected, but that hadn’t made my fear any less palpable.
“They both hugged me, told me they loved me. Dad was a bit weird when I brought a guy around for the first time.” Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Ryan grip the wheel a little tighter.
The spark his reaction created pushed out my chest, and I smiled, liking the idea he was a little jealous.
Seriously, I could write a playbook on his tells.
Ryan cleared his throat. “How was he weird?”
I chuckled at the memory. “Was just a bit odd, distant. I called him out after Tony left, thinking his acceptance had all been a front.”
“And it wasn’t?”
“Nope, you know what Dad’s like. He told me that Tony wouldn’t know a cow’s tit from a bull’s dick, and the guy wasn’t good enough for me.”
Laughing loudly, Ryan glanced my way. “Your dad’s always had an unhealthy obsession with farming.”
I nodded. “True, but he was also right about Tony. It didn’t take me long to figure that out.”
Ryan side-eyed me as he pulled off a larger road to one that was dark, windy, and I thought familiar. I didn’t think we were too far away from his place. “And boyfriends?”
A heavy pause settled between us. I waited him out. While it was apparent Ryan was struggling, he had to do some of the legwork.
“You’ve only had boyfriends, right, and you don’t have one now?”
Just as my heart panged at his uncertainty, a wave of happiness unfurled in me. The direction the conversation took was significant, or at least I hoped that was the case.
There wasn’t a chance I’d misread what had happened on the dance floor.
Even if we hadn’t shared a kiss, the chemistry between us had been close to combusting.
Seriously, a kiss and the right word were all that had been needed to make us spark.
As far as I was concerned, it was the whole reason we’d left the club like our arses were on fire.
“Only boyfriends,” I confirmed. He knew about my failed dating attempts at high school, so there was no need to go there. “And no boyfriend for some time now.”
The questions I wanted to ask burned on my lips, but my attention caught on street lighting penetrating the otherwise dark road. We were back. Immediately, awareness kick-started my heart, my pulse going wild.
We remained silent as we pulled into the garage and still didn’t speak as we entered the house. With still so much left unsaid, it felt like it was up to me to be sensible and talk this out.
I followed Ryan into the kitchen, my focus on his backside despite telling myself to be a grown-up, but then he turned when he reached the counter. Wide-eyed and breathing heavily, Ryan stared at me, his cheeks flushed, his pupils blown.
And hell if he didn’t look every bit gorgeous and needy.
My feet had a mind of their own as they led me straight to him. I didn’t even blink once before I was in his space. Somehow, I kept my hands to myself. I just needed to know one thing. I had to be sure. If not, I’d be darting to the shower quick smart.
I swallowed the lump in my throat before asking, “Do you want this?”
He searched my gaze, his voice quiet when he said, “I want you.”
The words registered and found their mark.
My mouth connected with his in the next instant.
We stumbled a little with the force, his butt hitting the kitchen counter.
We didn’t pull apart, our lips bruising and perfect in intensity.
I groaned into his mouth, my synapses misfiring as his tongue brushed against mine.
Our mouths molded together, and I leaned further into him, chasing closeness, chasing his heat and everything he had to offer.
When his hands moved to my backside, I almost came undone, savoring the rub, the pressure on my dick. He gripped tighter when I moaned, the sound needy, but I didn’t give a flying fuck. He could have every single one of my breathy groans.
A thrill of relief hit me when he tugged me hard against him, and a grin spilled across my mouth when his moan rivaled my own.
He angled his head back, eyes raking over me and a smile quickly forming. “What?”
I shook my head and leaned in, catching his bottom lip between my teeth. I nibbled gently, following up with a soft kiss. This whole time, my cock all but screamed at me to hurry up. But I could not get enough of Ryan’s sweetness. There wasn’t a chance I was rushing this. Not with him.
I eased away after dropping kisses on Ryan’s mouth. This time, my movement earned me a disgruntled sigh. “You keep stopping.”
I couldn’t stop smiling. How could I when Ryan was so perfectly beautiful and my mind kept replaying his three sweet-as-hell words of wanting me?
“I want to suck you off.”