Chapter 4
FOUR
SUTTON
This was insane, and I only had myself to blame.
Every time Jayden had drifted off yesterday, dread had held me frozen, so terrified something was seriously wrong and he wouldn’t wake up again. Fear had me spurting out those words, and now a new shit show was unraveling.
To make matters worse, every moment I’d spent with him yesterday had been as ordinary as before our kiss.
We’d laughed, joked, shot the shit. The difference was this time when he laughed, my heart sped up.
When the light caught his hair in a certain way, bringing out dark blond highlights in his otherwise chestnut strands, my heart had jolted.
And by the time he’d drifted off to sleep properly after whispering in the dark room that he was happy I was there, not for the first time I wondered just when it was I’d fallen in love with my best friend.
For thirty-two years I’d been straight. No hesitation, no questioning, and absolutely no doubt.
I knew who I was, inside and out. Hell, I had a bioethics degree.
While my degree was rooted mainly in healthcare, the initial part of the course was about understanding my own ethos, morals, and values.
We’d had a deep dive into our sense of self, and at no point had I been confused.
Not until that kiss.
That one single moment that had unraveled everything I thought I knew was true.
After that, every touch, look, joke, and every single moment we’d spent together had been too much for my heart to take. My brain went to war with the pumping organ. And now, after months of distance, it had all been for naught.
My heart was in control, a hundred percent, effectively telling my brain it could go screw itself.
“You sure this is the best thing to do?” I finally asked, having remained silent long enough as Nate drove us toward the airport.
“You saw yourself what the media were like when you guys left the hospital. It didn’t take long to figure out that you were also here to see Ryan. There’s been press camped outside our place all morning.” Nate glanced in the rearview mirror at me.
“I know the press can be intrusive cocks here in Australia too, but I think it just took both Nate and me by surprise,” Ryan added from the passenger seat. “Out front did you spot the ESPN crew?”
I nodded, having wondered myself about that.
I didn’t care enough about media franchises to know if reporters had flown in last night or they simply had American correspondents here all the time.
The reality was it didn’t matter. All that did matter was that Jayden needed peace and quiet to recover, and there’d be no chance of that with every man and his dog wanting a photo op and an interview.
“My uncle’s place out in Mitchell is the perfect place to disappear to,” Nate said.
“You’ll jump on the flight to Roma, pick up your hire car, and it’ll just take about an hour to get out there.
It’s small but is powered and has fresh water.
Stop by the store before you leave Roma, though, and pick up supplies, and you’ll be golden. ”
“Why does it worry me you felt the need to say it had power and water?” Jayden said from my side. He’d been weirdly quiet since Nate and Ryan got us from the hospital with their plan to take us to Brisbane Airport and for us to jump on the one-fifteen flight to Roma.
I saw Nate wince through the mirror. “I visited a few times as a kid, and the dunny used to be outside, and yeah, it has tank water, but it wasn’t until about twenty years ago he got the place hooked up to the grid. Before that, it was on a gene.”
“A jen-knee?” I asked, having already figured out what he meant by a dunny, and was relieved as hell I wouldn’t have to go outside to relieve myself.
“Yeah, an old diesel generator,” he clarified, putting his blinker on and taking the exit off the highway.
“Just focus on recouping and figuring out what you’re going to do,” Ryan said pointedly, angling to look over his shoulder at the both of us.
Unasked questions formed in his eyes. They’d been there since he came to the hospital.
He hadn’t asked a single one, though. Hadn’t prodded, hadn’t demanded answers or called bullshit.
“We will,” I answered, side-eyeing a resting Jayden, his eyes now closed.
From the mad dash from the hospital to the developments of this past hour, my own head pounded.
Christ only knew how he was coping. A quick glance at the time told me it would be another hour until he could take more pain medicine, which I expected meant the ones he’d had were wearing off.
“You all right?” I asked quietly, leaning closer to Jayden.
He opened his eyes, looking so tired that I wanted to reach out and do something, anything, to make his pain and exhaustion go away. “Yeah. Not really looking forward to a flight.”
I winced, understanding that completely. “You can have another couple of painkillers before we get on the plane. You’ll be fine. A few more hours and you’ll finally be in the outback.” A smile tugged at my mouth. “You’ll finally get to see kangaroos in the wild.”
A sleepy grin was my reward, and I filed it away, despite knowing I should do no such thing. “Maybe if I take enough pain meds, I’ll be able to finally ride one.”
My chuckle was quiet. “Let’s make that a hard no.”
“You know, you’re super controlling for a fiancé.” He quirked his brow. “I always thought you’d be sweet and doting, you know… doing all the touchy-feely caring shit that you do.”
“Touchy-feely caring shit?” I said back to him, not wanting to latch onto anything else he said.
“Uh-huh. You know you do that care-for-me thing you always do. And you make people talk about their feelings, but I have no idea how since you never come out and ask them to. It’s this whole empath thing you’ve got going on.”
“Empath thing?”
“Yeah, you make people open up and like you and care for you because you read them so well.”
Bemused, I frowned, wondering what he was talking about while thinking it was probably the nicest and strangest thing he’d ever said to me.
Before I could respond, we were slowing for traffic lights.
I peered outside, recognizing we were about to drive into the airport zone.
I did a couple of slow blinks, hardly believing it was only yesterday I’d arrived, and that was after two flights, making it a long day.
Between the travel and the sporadic minutes of sleep I’d grabbed last night, I was bone tired. Just a few more hours, and I’d be able to stop, though. Once we were at the cabin, the two of us could rest and catch up with some much-needed sleep.
“I was able to sort you extra legroom for obvious reasons,” Nate said as he pulled up outside the Qantas terminal.
“You’re already checked in. You just need to print out your baggage labels, then you’re all set.
” He left the engine running, and we all exited the SUV.
He hugged me tightly. “Look after you both, yeah?”
I bobbed my head. “No worries.” I pulled away and winked. I then patted Ryan’s back as he embraced me.
When he pulled away, his gaze was searching.
“While you’re away, figure out what you want and what’s good for your heart, okay?
” After a beat of seriousness, his lips twitched, and I shook my head at him.
The asshole had thrown my words back at me, ones I’d said to him when I suspected something was going on between him and Nate.
Despite his amusement, the way he gripped my arm and stared so intently that it was impossible to look away from, I knew he meant every word.
“I hear you.”
He squeezed before letting go. “Text when you get there. Nate’s sent you the address so you can throw it into the car’s satnav. Just be safe and watch for roos.”
I rolled my eyes, earning me a laugh.
“He’s actually serious,” Nate said, moving to his side. “Those buggers are big out there and cross roads without looking both ways all the damn time.”
“It’s strange they made a Tasmanian devil into a cartoon when they could have had so much more fun with a kangaroo,” Jayden said from my side.
I cast him a glance and shook my head at him. There was no way I was touching that and opening up a conversation that could take the whole of the journey.
“Either he’s still high, or he needs another dose.” Ryan eyed him.
“Another dose,” I answered, picking up both Jayden’s and my bags. “See you both soon, and thanks for this.”
Ryan bobbed his head. “Anytime, mate. You know that. Now get going and perch yourself where you’re not the center of attention while you’re waiting.
Speak to you later.” With that, Nate and Ryan left, and I led Jayden into the airport.
He followed without question. A quick glance at him, and it was clear his head was hurting.
A frown marred his forehead, and even behind his sunglasses, he was squinting.
We waited for the flight in silence, Jayden’s painkillers making him drowsy. The hourlong journey was the same, though Jayden used my shoulder as a headrest. Relieved he was resting, I managed to handle the contact with ease, knowing right now he needed his friend back.
After picking up the SUV from the car rental at the tiny airport, I followed the vehicle’s GPS into town, did a mad dash around the Woolworths supermarket, then was back in the car to a snoozing Jayden.
Worry bit at my heels as I drove out, passing the brightening red dirt and flat landscape.
Seeing the sign welcoming us to the outback, I hesitated, considering waking up Jayden.
A glance in his direction changed my mind.
He was sleeping peacefully, which meant he was healing.
There’d be another time when we could take goofy selfies in front of the sign.