Chapter 3
THREE
DYLAN
White-hot anger burned my veins. I should have known they’d have done something like this.
I was a fool to think them discovering I was gay would have been any different. Fuck, I was an idiot.
Ensuring the wooden wedge was firmly under the door so they couldn’t get into my room, I tugged out my flip phone with trembling hands.
My heart stuttered hearing Paula’s loud crying. My kid sister was just fourteen, and I hated that she’d be stuck here. But I couldn’t stay.
She was tougher than me. And I’d do everything in my power to make sure she was okay.
Fleeing was my only option.
I just hoped she could forgive me.
Not having the patience to work through the digits needed to send a text message with my ancient phone, I keyed in Cassius’s cell number, hoping I had enough credit for the call to connect and for me to ask for help.
“Yo,” he said on answer. “I was just about—”
Hearing his voice, I heaved out a sob, cutting him off.
“What’s wrong?” A steel I rarely heard from Cass hardened his words.
“Pastor Neil’s here. They’ve packed my bag. Said they’re sending me away.”
The beat of silence lasted not even a second before Cass erupted. His expletives filled the line. “The fuck they are. Fucking assholes. They’ll have to get through me. Pack your shit or leave it all. I’ll be there in five minutes.”
A shuddering breath tore out of me, turning into a sob. Relief mingled with my tears. “Thanks, Cass,” I managed, not questioning anything.
“You never need to thank me,” he said, voice soft, the sound of the outside traveling down the line, letting me know he was on the move. “Just stay safe. I’ve gotta go so I can call Mom.”
“Okay.”
The call cut off, and I placed the phone in my pocket.
I couldn’t think, couldn’t work out what to do, where to start.
All I knew with a certainty that helped me keep breathing was that Cass was coming for me.
A pounding of feet up the steps had me holding my breath. A jiggle of my handle followed.
“Dylan. It’s me.”
Paula.
I rushed to unwedge the door and let my sister in.
Red-faced and teary-eyed, my sister stared at me, bottom lip trembling.
“Hey.” I reached out and tugged her into my arms, fixing the wedge immediately after. “It’ll be okay.”
Clinging on to me, Paula nodded against my chest, her tears soaking my tee that I hadn’t changed out of since coming home from basketball practice. Being accosted by my parents and their pastor made showering low priority.
“It’s all my fault.”
I shushed her, holding my sister even tighter. “It isn’t. You couldn’t have known. It would have come out eventually.”
My gut clenched at her blaming herself. Two nights ago, I had been discussing all the hot merits of Jenson Ackles, which Paula had scrunched her nose at. We hadn’t realized Mom had overheard until it had been too late, resulting in my folks discovering I was gay.
I should have known their two days of ignoring me was the calm before the storm.
But fucking conversion therapy?
Had I thought they’d accept me? It was an easy no.
But the crushing disappointment, the burn of betrayal tore through me with the speed of wildfire.
I guessed, deep down, some small part of me had held out hope that they would surprise me. Grab on to those values they always spouted. That they would wrap me up in their arms and tell me they loved me no matter what.
I was a fool to even dream it.
Instead, rather than ignoring my existence for a few more months until I graduated, they had to change me. Fix me. Save my fucking soul.
It wasn’t like they truly gave a shit about me or Paula for anything other than how we impacted their image.
I pressed a kiss to Paula’s head, needing the connection to center me. The same white-hot anger was too close to the surface, and I needed to get out of here intact. The last thing I wanted was to make life any more difficult for Paula.
“Are you leaving?” she whispered.
I heard her fear loud and clear and hated it. “I’m sorry. I can’t—”
“It’s okay.” The speed of her words cut me off.
“You need to leave, and I’ll be fine. I promise.
” She angled back, her swollen eyes breaking my heart.
It was her tentative, brave smile that had my tears spilling, though.
“I’ll be fine,” she repeated, a sternness in her voice that pulled a shaky laugh from me.
“I know you will.”
“Promise to see me at school.”
“I promise.”
A small, watery smile appeared, and she bobbed her head. “Okay. What’s the plan?”
“Cassius.”
She rolled her eyes. “Of course.” She reached behind her, tugging out trash bags from her back pocket. “Let’s get everything together.”
This kid sister of mine was the best. She was also too damn smart for her own good, and hell if I didn’t adore her.
We made quick work of emptying my drawers, shoving the contents into bags. Paula threw them out my bedroom window, a grin on her face.
“Fuck our parents,” she all but hollered with each bag thrown.
Despite my world imploding, I laughed, so grateful for her. As I crammed my belongings into the black garbage bags, I made a silent promise to myself that when I finally became a cop, I’d do everything in my power to make sure kids like me and Paula were protected.
I was grabbing my schoolbooks when the squeal of tires drew my attention to the window.
Mom, Dad, and Pastor Neil had yet to appear outside, despite the raining trash bags of clothes, but the squealing tires and Cass charging across our lawn finally got their attention. I peered out, seeing the front door open.
Fuck. I needed to move.
My parents had never been fans of Cassius’s. They’d never given him a chance, not seeing beyond his dark skin or how his parents attended a more liberal church.
But Cass being here now, my best friend in shining armor who I knew wouldn’t hold back his opinion of my parents, could end up in disaster. And likely with him arrested, because of course my parents were assholes and would have no hesitation in calling the cops.
Grabbing my heavy schoolbag, I darted for my bedroom door. Shifting the wedge, I yanked the door open, hightailing it out of there, Paula on my heels with a couple more bags.
By the time I hit the hallway, raised voices filtered past my dad blocking the doorway.
Not hesitating, I pushed past my dad, shifting out of his reach when he made to grab me.
I didn’t look back. Didn’t respond to his yell of my name. My eyes were all for Cass as he stood, arms folded, in front of the garbage bags on the ground.
“Seriously, you hate your son so much you don’t want him to have his clothes?” The bite to Cass’s voice was colder, sharper than I’d ever heard before. “You’re a goddamn hypocrite.”
“Don’t you talk to me like that. It’s all your fault, taking my son away, turning him to sin.”
I welcomed the rage building in my veins at hearing Mom’s vileness. It was better than the hollow pit trying to form in my chest. Better than tears trying to spill, knowing this was it. Likely the last time I’d speak to my parents again.
Cass’s eyes snapped to mine, his gaze softening as he checked over me, wanting to know if I was okay. My smile was tight, as was my nod.
Less than a handful of steps later, I was beside Cass and before my mom, the pastor by her side. Paula had managed to bypass Dad and was ignoring us all, dragging two bags to Cass’s car.
“Dylan, I forbid you to leave. You need help. Let Pastor Neil help you. All you need is clarity and to let the good Lord show you the way. You’re better than this.”
At her side, Pastor Neil solemnly bobbed his head. His sharp features seemed more prominent, sinister in the fading light. “Let God save your soul from eternal damnation. We’ve saved others. Led them to the path of salvation.”
Cass’s scoff was more of a sneer. “You’re sick in the head, all of you. There’s fuck all wrong with Dylan. He’s fucking perfect, despite being brought up by you sick fucks.”
“I will not be spoken—”
“What the fuck ever. Come on, Dyl. Let’s go home.” He reached for me, squeezing my cold, clammy hand.
“I knew it. He’s corrupted you.” Mom pitched her voice high. “If you leave this house now, you will never be allowed back. You’ll be—”
The sound of an engine cut her off and tugged all our attention away.
My heart stumbled in my chest.
Mama T was here, Cass’s mom.
Fresh tears sprang to my eyes.
Mama T was the mom I’d always wished for. She was kind and strong and so loud. She also showered me with affection, something I lapped up and which Cassius had always done too. The two of them were the biggest cuddlers with the kindest souls.
It made their protective streak so much more of a surprise when it came with such fierceness.
“You’re in so much shit now.” Cass’s words were quiet, his amusement clear.
But I couldn’t smile. Couldn’t really feel relief. Not now when everything was changing and my parents were disowning me.
Out the corner of my eye, I saw Mom tense.
While I got a sliver of satisfaction at that—she’d always been intimidated by Mama T—it wasn’t enough to soften the blow or the hurt.
Mama T took in the scene as she stepped closer.
She took in the bags at my feet, my sister hovering by the open door of Cass’s car, my quiet dad in the doorway not seeming to give a shit about anything.
When her gaze met mine, nothing but love and care shined back at me, and when she snapped her attention to Mom and Pastor Neil, a flinty hardness shot their way.
“Cassius,” she started, “get all of Dylan’s things and put them in your car.”
Wordlessly—something of a rarity for Cass—he did as his mom said, leaving me standing in front of the woman who’d birthed me. I stared down at my training shoes, focusing on the scuffs, wondering how I’d ever be able to replace them.
I could leave school. Get a job. When I’d earned enough, I could get a small rental, look at moving Paula in with me. The quicker I could get her out of here, the better.
Mama T’s “Dylan, honey” dragged my attention up and to her.
Her words were warm, her dark skin blemish free, making her smile seem brighter. Kind eyes peered over at me.
“Yes, Mama T?”
“Don’t you go calling that woman—”
“Dylan.” Mama T cut through Mom’s tirade, her voice still gentle. “Do you know where your birth certificate is, honey?”
I nodded.
“Excellent. Why don’t you just go on inside and grab it. It’s something you’re going to need.”
I shot a wary glance at Mom, then Dad still in the doorway.
“It’ll be fine, honey. These people aren’t going to create any more of a scene unless they want even more curtains twitching and folks in this town knowing exactly how they treat their flesh and blood.
You know, Major Trenton is hosting the first LGBTQ rally next June.
His brother, Marcus, is coming out especially.
You know Marcus, don’t you, Rita? He’s dating Lionel, Cassius’s godfather.
It’ll be so great for our small town, showing the city folk just what it means to be a supportive, inclusive community. ”
It was impossible to look away from Mom’s bright red face or ignore her hesitancy. Mom liked to think she was an important figure in the community, but that was so far from the truth it was laughable.
“Dylan, honey, go on and get that paperwork.”
I nodded a little numbly, sidestepping Mom. When I edged closer to the doorway, Dad met my gaze for a brief moment. Sad eyes peered back at me, but a hollowness lurked so close to the surface that he’d never say anything. Never defend me or stop what Mom was doing.
Swallowing when he stepped out of the way, I refused to feel sorry for him. Refused to feel anything for him. He chose Mom every damn time. Hid behind his “devotion” or some shit.
He was a coward and didn’t deserve a single ounce of emotion from me.
Picking up speed, I headed straight for the small office where my folks kept the important documents. It didn’t take long to find my birth certificate. While I was there, I snagged my checking account details and hesitated at a framed photograph on the sideboard.
It was of me and Paula, taken a few years back when we were at a church fundraiser. For once, we’d had a great time, having had our faces painted and been allowed to eat so much candy that my tummy had hurt. But it hadn’t dimmed my smile as I wrapped my arm around my kid sister for the photo.
I snagged the pic, concealing it beneath my paperwork. With long strides and a confidence I didn’t feel, I walked away, leaving my house that I suspected I’d never return to again.
Cass waited by his car, eyes immediately on me. My skin tingled, needing one of his hugs. Not once had I ever complained about how much of a snuggle monster he was. Sure, I’d laughed and teased him about it, but I loved every second of warm comfort I got from him.
I always had and always would.
But not now. Not until we’d left this place.
I darted a look at my sister. Tears trickled down her cheeks, but her smile, fuck… her smile was wide and proud. I shot her a wink, the movement releasing a fresh tear. I left it. The tear was for her, not them. She deserved to know how much I loved her.
But I’d see her on Monday and every single school day. I’d seek her out and make sure of it.
Mama T stood vigil as I got into Cass’s car, arms folded, gaze on me, a gentle smile on her painted lips.
I didn’t spare a glance at my parents. I couldn’t.
“Let’s go home.”
I nodded at Cass’s words and closed my eyes when he squeezed my leg.
I’d be okay. I always would be with Cass by my side.