Chapter 5
FIVE
DYLAN
I felt guilty blowing some of my savings on an airplane ticket, but Cassius needed me. The ninety-minute flight was a heck of a lot faster than a twelve-hour drive. And while I didn’t get a bargain, it would be worth it—I’d just have to pick up some extra work shifts.
Thankfully, I was ahead in school and on top of my assignments for my associate’s degree in law enforcement and criminal justice. It meant the early weekend I was taking shouldn’t be a problem.
Not only that, but since Paula moved in with me and Cass’s folks a couple months back, life was a lot less stressful.
What I hadn’t done was tell Cass I was actually coming.
Last night he’d been freaked out, had some sort of meltdown or existential crisis or something, and since then, his phone had been off.
But he needed me. Sure, he hadn’t asked, but this was my best friend we were talking about. Every word he didn’t say, I heard.
Basketball season was over, which was something. It meant I didn’t have to worry about him being in another state at a game. Plus, I’d visited his campus three times before over the past couple of years, so I knew my way around a little.
I also knew his schedule, because of course I did.
I had a copy printed off and stuck to my bedroom wall.
A quick look at my watch told me I had ten minutes to get to his current class that he’d soon be leaving. He only had one more class later this afternoon, giving me enough time to figure out what exactly had happened last night.
After his last class of the day, we’d then kick back and catch up with some much-needed soul-mate bonding.
As dippy as it sounded, I truly believed we were the other half of each other’s souls. Not that I’d ever say that to another single human beyond him.
A glance at the building name told me I’d reached the right place. I just needed to figure out the right exit. With classes still in session, I dipped inside the building, trying to look for room numbers.
It didn’t take long to find the right one. Since it was closer to the south-side exit, I ambled over, stepping back out into the late-spring air. Spotting a wall a few feet away, I headed over, perching on the brick, gaze not wavering from the exit.
A short while after, the doors opened and students spilled out. Conversation filtered around the campus, the sound loud and interrupting the small gathering of birds darting around one of the nearby picnic tables.
I stood, not wanting to miss him, ready to call out and run if he passed by without seeing me.
I’d never been happier that Cassius had grown another three inches since leaving home. At six-six, he towered over most of the students.
Wearing a Minnesota Eagles jersey, our home team, he was straight-faced, looking like he was only paying half attention to whatever the blonde at his side was saying. She was animated, laughing, reaching out and touching his arm a couple of times.
I held back my sigh. I was used to the attention Cass got. Not only was he hot, but being such a fun guy pulled people into his orbit without fail.
And all that was okay. Even the girl flirting with him.
What made my stomach swirl and my heart pang was the despondency on his face.
I moved through the crowd side-on to my best friend. Pitching my voice loud enough to be heard over the conversation and laughter of the flood of students, I called, “Cass.”
More than a few heads snapped in my direction, but the only one I cared about was Cass’s. He stopped walking, and his head turned with a speed that I was sure caused whiplash.
And then he was moving, pushing through the throng, and grabbing me in a hug.
“You’re here.” The words whispered against my neck tugged at my heart.
What the hell had happened yesterday?
“Of course I am. You needed me.” I held him close, ignoring the curious glances and some slack-jawed looks.
This right here, affection, PDA and all, was me and Cass. It always had been.
Fuck anybody who felt the need to do a double take or had an opinion.
I felt his reluctance as he pulled away, but his smile was real when I finally glimpsed his face. “Let’s go to mine.”
“Don’t you have another class?”
He shook his head. “It’s been canceled.”
I nodded, happy to get more time with him. “Lead the way.”
With his arm around my shoulders, he did just that, ignoring everyone around him, not sparing a passing glance to the few who called his name.
During the whole walk, tension pumped through me. Coming here had been the right thing to do, especially given his reaction. The unknown filled me with dread, though.
Cass didn’t lose his cool. Ever.
Sure, we’d laughed and cried together over the years, but whatever happened yesterday was different.
Twenty minutes later, we were in his house just off campus. It was a place he shared with four of his teammates. The house was untidy but not dirty. I was relieved when Cass led the way straight to his room, though.
When we were in his space, I relaxed immediately. It wasn’t home, but his room smelled of him. His Axe body spray mixed with all things Cassius. Sure, his old pair of running shoes needed throwing out, but still, this was very much a space I felt comfortable in.
“I can’t believe you’re here.” He stood with his back to the door, eyes wide as he shook his head.
“How could you think for a second that I wouldn’t be after our conversation yesterday?” I said softly.
His flaming-red cheeks surprised me. His wince worried me.
“Get your ass over here and tell me what’s going on.”
For the first time in the history of ever, Cass hesitated. The action pulled at my gut.
No fucking chance.
“Cass,” I said sternly, preparing to whip out the big guns. “Ass on the bed, give me a cuddle, and talk to your soul mate, yeah?”
The words out of my mouth deserved to be mocked. Any other time, we would have done exactly that. But in this moment, I meant them. Needed him to believe them and follow through.
I kicked off my Chucks and made myself comfortable, relieved he had a full-size, not only because of his height but because we’d be sharing this weekend.
With my back to the headboard, I opened my arm and arched my eyebrow in silent order.
When I received a lip twitch, my pulse evened out a little.
When he toed off his Nikes and clambered onto the bed, I exhaled in relief.
And when he finally planted his head on my chest and snuggled into me, for the first time in three months since I’d last seen him, I felt like I could breathe again.
We lay in silence, the soft rasps of our breathing the only sounds. It took but a few moments for the speed to match, our inhales and exhales syncing, and my worried heart calmed.
“So I hooked up with a guy last night,” he started, taking me by surprise. A flurry of questions sparked in my brain, but I clamped my mouth shut, having no idea where he was going with this.
“It was great. Hot, you know?”
I trailed my fingers through his short hair, my blunt fingernails scratching lightly over his scalp in the way he found comforting.
“And it was all fine, and you know it’s not the first time I’ve hooked up with a guy.”
I did know that. While we didn’t exactly kiss and tell and share details of our conquests, we knew enough about what was going on in each other’s lives.
There’d only been a couple of guys Cass had hooked up with—until last night, apparently.
And nothing beyond mutual hand jobs. His experience with girls was vastly different.
Not that he fucked around majorly. He was too terrified of knocking a girl up to take full advantage of what I knew was easy pickings.
“Okay,” I prodded when he remained quiet. “Did something happen? Something not okay?” My hand froze as dread curled in my gut. Fuck, what if he’d been hurt? Just because he was a big guy didn’t mean he was invincible. What if—
“Whatever you’re thinking, you need to stop.” He wriggled his head, his not-so-subtle way of letting me know he wanted me to carry on petting him. I did so with a shaky breath, relief escaping in the heavy whoosh of air.
“So what happened?” I asked quietly.
“I freaked the fuck out, that’s what happened.”
I jerked my head back in shock, trying to angle to see his expression. At my movement, he shifted his face from its position on my chest, and his gaze met mine. “Freaked out?”
“Fucking humiliated myself.”
“What, like you shot your load too soon or something?” Confusion rang loud and clear in my voice.
Cass scoffed. “I fucking wish.”
The expression on his face hurt my heart. He looked honest-to-god mortified. “You can tell me anything, remember. No judgment.”
His gaze searched mine before he bobbed his head and resettled his cheek on my chest, cutting off our eye contact.
“It was great, until he asked me to prep him. When it was clear I was unsure, he went about it himself, and I freaked.”
I didn’t understand and was so confused by this whole conversation. Grasping for the right thing to say, I settled on “Well, sex doesn’t have to mean penetration. If it’s not for you, then that’s o—”
“But that’s the thing,” he said, cutting me off and lifting from my chest to look me in the eyes. “I want to fuck so bad. Hell, just the thought of sinking into a tight ass makes me want to jizz my pants.”
I couldn’t hold back my lip twitch, reassured by Cass’s familiar bluntness.
“All I could think about was my dick covered in skin-destroying chocolate that looked like lumpy fucking shit and the memory of the pain….” Wide-eyed, he shook his head.
“I fucking heaved. Heaved. In front of this cute guy who wanted my cock, and I heaved, freaked out, threw him a half-assed apology, and raced on out of there like my ass was on fire. The fuck is wrong with me?”
Speechless, I parted my lips before slamming my mouth shut.