Chapter 6 #5
Unwanted anxiety skittered across my skin as I thought about the action.
Fuck.
How fucking ludicrous. Planted inside him after having hands down the best sex of my life, and now my brain started to catch up.
It could fuck right off.
I didn’t want the irrational thoughts. Didn’t want the—
“Hey, breathe for me.”
The soothing tone, Dylan’s familiar voice, pierced my growing panic.
Taking a deep breath in, I held it before slowly exhaling.
“Another one for me.”
I did as he directed, breathing with him, trying not to let the threatening embarrassment crawl along my skin and take me under, send me spiraling.
“Okay, that’s good.”
Concerned eyes met mine. I took solace in them, grateful Dylan was in this with me.
“Okay, now I want you to ease out. Slowly,” he tagged on, and I frowned, my worry for him cutting through my looming freak-out.
“Are you okay? In pain?”
A soft smile lifted his lips. “Tender. Think I’ll be walking bowlegged for a while,” he teased, loosening some of the hovering panic in my chest. “But I’ll be fine.”
I nodded and eased out of him, focusing on the sensation of his tight channel and how perfectly I fit inside him. The thought was so much better than worrying about dealing with the cleanup.
And didn’t I feel like a fucking dick for even thinking that right now.
His wince was thankfully short-lived. Once his features smoothed out, he reached up and squeezed my shoulder.
“You want to lean back and let me deal with the condom?”
Jesus, he was too good to me.
I took a deep, steady breath and shook my head. Putting more bravado than I truly felt into my words, I said, “Sex is messy right?” My smile tightened. “If I can’t handle a little mess with the cleanup, I shouldn’t be fucking.”
A deep frown sliced across his features. “Fuck that, Cass. No bullshit. Not with me.”
Emotion. Unwanted, foolish emotion squirreled its way into my chest.
Dylan had taken it up the ass for me. We smashed down all the “don’t even think about it” rules between best friends, jumped over that invisible line without looking back.
His dick said he’d wanted it. As had his mouth.
And I knew I’d made his body sing.
But still, he’d done it for me.
Because of my fucking ridiculous, irrational issues.
I hated them. Hated that I felt this way. Hated that my reactions and fears took the lead.
Taking a deep breath, I loosened my limbs, saying, “Let me try.”
Eyeing me carefully, he nodded.
I loved him for it. For everything.
I just wished it didn’t make me feel like a prize dick.
Grabbing the root of my cock first, I slowly looked down.
A rush of breath escaped me. There was no hiding my relief.
My dick was half hard, the condom slippery. Evidence of my own release was the only thing capturing my attention.
Jesus. There was nothing like turning sexy times into dread thinking about what else I could have spotted. A romance novel this would never be. How the fuck could it if I was the main man and too scared to look at the evidence of my lovemaking?
I stumbled at the thought.
Both at the ridiculousness and the “lovemaking.”
It was sex. Hot, mind-blowing sex.
I looked down at Dylan, his uneasy gaze on me, and I smiled. It was all I could do to share my relief and hide the sting of knowing that I could never put him through this again.
Honestly, I didn’t think I could to anyone else either.
Swallowing the realization down, I eased back fully and carefully removed the condom.
“I’m just going to clean up and then grab a shower.
” My gaze drifted around his body as he lay exposed and vulnerable before me.
Heat filled my belly, and I cleared my throat and smiled a little shiftily at him.
“How about I clean up and turn the shower on for you first?”
Somehow, I tore my attention away from the drying cum on his stomach and made eye contact.
His smile was tentative, though it held a hint of amusement that I grabbed onto with both hands.
“I should write a damn book. Magnanimous 101 with Cassius Britton.”
Dylan snorted and sat up. “Uh-huh. A bestseller right there.”
Once off the bed, I headed for the bathroom. “Right. Global sensation. League star.”
Fuck, I was officially in the League. The jolt of reality shot excitement to my chest.
“I’m sure your fans will lap that right up,” he tossed out at me, humor in every word. “It’s your humility that makes you so endearing.”
Grinning, I spun to look at him, my hand on the door handle. “One of my better qualities.” I followed up with a wink and stared at Dylan, who’d since pulled the towel across his lap. My amusement faded away as I took him in, my grin softening to a gentle smile. “Thanks, Dyl. For everything.”
If he was surprised by my words, he didn’t show it. He stared at me hard for a beat. Wordlessly, he nodded, tenderness coloring his features.
I turned away and escaped into the bathroom.
Tonight had been unexpected. Incredible.
But from that one look, I knew we’d never talk about it again.
I winced at the pang in my heart and rubbed my chest.
There was only space for one kind of love for Dylan, and that was as my best friend, the man who selflessly gave me everything.