Chapter 15 #3
The groan and roll of his eyes were well deserved. It wasn’t my best comeback, but my emotions were out of control. Considering the two mind-blowing orgasms, I was surprised I’d managed anything punny at all.
Our communication skills needed some work. But I totally had this.
“I’ve come a lot over the years.”
Dylan’s brow furrowed. “Uhm… okay?”
“And only one other time have I come as hard as I just did in the bathroom.”
He seemed a little shell-shocked by that admission.
“It’s not like I’ve been a monk over the years. I’ve had plenty.”
“Jesus.” Dylan rubbed a hand over his face. “Is there a point to this, or are you just saying that I’m one notch in so many you can’t even give me a number?”
“What? No?” Shit. I was worse than Dylan at this. I shook my head. “That’s not what I mean at all.” A stir of unease muddled my gut at his words. Honestly, I didn’t think I could give him a number. Well, maybe if I really thought about it.
Except one. One number I could definitely give him.
“You’re the only man I’ve had sex with.” The admission shot out of me so much louder than I intended that his head jerked back a little.
When his face shuttered, uncertainty crawled across my skin. That wasn’t the reaction I was going for.
“Uhm… that’s not true.” Disbelief and I was pretty fucking certain disappointment colored his words.
“Yes, it is.” The hell was he arguing with me about this for?
His jaw ticked. “I know you’ve hooked up with lots of guys.”
Understanding immediately, I released an exasperated sigh. “We are so shit at talking stuff out. I just don’t get it.” I shook my head, more than aware he was staring at me with wide-eyed confusion.
He didn’t correct me, though. No doubt because it was obvious I was right.
“I mean sex. Full-on penetration. Not hand jobs or bjs. You’re the only guy I’ve had… you know, intercourse with,” I said, thoroughly proud of myself for being crystal fucking clear. “And you know I wouldn’t be able to let anyone but you near my ass.”
“I would?” The question released on a shaky exhale, whisper soft and still confused. “I don’t know that.” With his words, his expression morphed, no longer shut off.
Softness filled his gaze. And Jesus H. Christ, it was like he was looking at me for the first time.
Awareness swept through me, leaving me feeling open and vulnerable under his intense scrutiny.
“You mean, all this time, you haven’t been with another man?”
“No.” My throat was dry, but it seemed wrong to take a large gulp of beer.
“I’m sorry.”
“What? Why?”
Genuine sadness poured off him, confusing the hell out of me.
“Why wouldn’t you be all, I don’t know, caveman or happy that I haven’t dicked anyone but you?”
Shock widened his eyes, and in the next breath, a loud laugh burst out of him. “Fuck.” He laughed harder, louder. The sound wrapped around me, and my lips twitched.
Well, at least his sadness had been wiped away. That was something.
When he sobered, he slowly shook his head. “I suppose I’m sorry because I thought after what we… you know… I just thought you were okay.” A one-shoulder shrug followed. “I know you’re still not completely comfortable, but I’d hoped you no longer held back.”
Embarrassment licked across my skin. Sure, this was Dylan, and he knew pretty much everything, but still… “I tried twice after you.” I huffed out a humorless breath. “It didn’t work out.”
Both were memories I’d tried to turn to dust.
“You didn’t say anything.”
“Not my finest hours.” A self-deprecating smile curved my lips. “Not something I really wanted to hash out.”
After a moment, he bobbed his head. Well, he definitely didn’t look pissed off anymore. Maybe a little sympathetic. Perhaps concerned.
“So yeah… this conversation has gone way off track.”
The room seemed extra quiet as Dylan stared at me. It was oh so tempting to fill in the silence. The truths beginning to fill the space between us started to feel deafening, a little overwhelming in what they could mean for us.
When he pursed his lips, I inhaled slowly, counting as I held, waiting for him to speak.
“Did you know I only top?”
I froze, my breath caught in my lungs, my brain struggling to catch up. It was as if his words were suspended in the air, in this new space between us filled with tension and chemistry I struggled to navigate. And what a labyrinth it was.
Emotion and need and new information. And my dick… fuck, my dick that should still be flaccid after being so well taken care of throbbed when Dylan’s words hit their mark.
He only tops?
Fuck, did that mean…? With my mouth turning drier than a parched landscape, I swallowed hard, the sound scratchy and loud in the otherwise silent room.
“So when we…?” Fuck, I couldn’t finish the sentence. And wasn’t that a hell of a thing since I rarely kept shit to myself.
“When we fucked….” Dylan’s intense gaze contradicted his teasing tone.
“Jesus.” I palmed my cock, right there in front of him. How could I not, as with one more word or heated look, I was sure I’d be jizzing in my pants.
Based on Dylan’s quirked brow as his gaze traveled to my hand gripping my dick, he didn’t seem to mind one bit. Between the heat pulsing between us and the building charge I swore held enough current it would be able to power the whole building, it was time I stopped being a fucking pussy.
“So, have we officially consummated our marriage yet, or do we need to replicate that night for us to finally do this for real?”
His chest heaved, eyes flared, and he’d never looked sexier than he did in that moment.
Possibility was a heady concept. And that was what this was, right? What I was suggesting?
“You saying you want a real marriage?”
The acceleration of my heart was loud. Fast enough to have my breathing pick up speed. Before I could answer, he tilted his head, gaze fixing to mine, and I knew, just fucking knew, he was going to fucking own me.
“It already feels like what we have is real.”
His whispered words latched on to any last remaining doubts, obliterating them at contact.
“It is real,” I croaked, not even questioning what was happening anymore.
A subtle shift transformed his expression. A warm, genuine smile crept across his face, and my breath hitched as I took him in. Handsome didn’t even begin to describe the man before me.
Dylan was all rugged gorgeousness, a fucking masterpiece of masculinity and charisma. And I knew he didn’t see himself that way. It made him more beautiful. His unawareness, the light pink that would often touch his cheeks, just like now, when he realized he held me captive.
Because that was exactly what I was. Ensnared by him. By the light scruff on his jawline, by his light brown eyes that he thought were dull and boring, but I found mesmerizing. Every single thing about this man had me spellbound.
As his eyes twinkled while he sat with the slightest of smirks on his kiss-swollen lips, letting me drink him in, my heart legit skipped a beat.
This was it. The beginning of everything I never knew I wanted and didn’t even consider I could ever have.
That I loved the man before me was a no-brainer. Could I fall in love with him?
Holy fuck. I was certain I was already halfway there.
“Okay, then.”
His words pulled me up short. With my head foggy, I struggled to know what he was referring to. Was he answering a question? Caught up in eye-fucking Dylan and having an epiphany or something, I stared at him, hoping he’d clarify without me admitting I was clueless.
A twitch of his lips and he rolled his eyes, but he didn’t leave me hanging. “Let’s do this.”
Exhilaration coursed through me, like a victorious battle cry pulsing behind my rib cage. A satisfied, over-fucking-joyed smile broke out on my face, and screw it all to hell, I launched at him, tugging Dylan into my arms and holding on for dear life.