Chapter 14 #3
‘Good morning!’ chirped the woman in the tone that Zoey had come to expect from her typical smoothie clientele. She directed her attention to Nick, which … fair enough. It was hard not to. ‘Wow, I love these. Are you new? I feel like I’d remember you.’
Nick looked amused, although not necessarily surprised. Nor was Zoey. From her experience of being on Nick’s arm so far, he was quite the attention-grabber. The man was a tall, dark and handsome dog dad. It was impossible not to look.
‘The lovely Zoey here has a store on Belmont,’ explained Nick. ‘It’s on that cut-in corner opposite Pinballers and the coworking space.’
‘Right,’ chirruped the girl, gesticulating with very little concern for the poor pup in her bag. ‘And … you work there?’
‘I’m just the mushroom guy. She’s the brains of this operation.’ He picked up a bottle of Brain Freeze and presented it with a napkin and a straw in the manner of a sommelier proffering an expensive bottle of wine. ‘Would you be interested in trying our mushroom blend?’
The girl waved her phone at the Square reader, tipping generously. ‘I’ve also airdropped you my contact details … just in case you need to get in touch. Toodles!’
She popped the lid on her drink and sipped at it as she wandered off to explore the other vendor tents. She was examining some shimmery crystals when she jolted to a stop, rubbing at her eye.
‘The brain freeze strikes again,’ said Zoey with a chuckle.
Nick frowned as he hefted one of the bottles. ‘But these are barely chilled.’
‘It’s something about that particular recipe,’ she explained. ‘Hits you right in the frontal lobe. Terriffany loves it – she calls it retail theatre, says it’s what sets us apart.’
Nick frowned, like he was considering something.
‘Oh fuck,’ groaned Zoey, hiding behind a napkin. ‘It’s June and Nate the Hater.’
Nick set down the bottle, making sure the arrangement was tidy. ‘Nate the Hater? Damn, harsh words coming from Woe is Zo.’
Zoey folded her arms. ‘You’re lucky you’re so good-looking. And have a cute dog.’
‘I am lucky I have a cute dog.’ Nick stooped to give Alice a pat.
‘Hey, guys,’ said Zoey, as June and Nate rolled up, June the picture of zen and Nate the picture of, well, hate.
Nate was in head-to-toe black as usual, with his hair slicked forward in its standard gelled point, and his feet stompy in motorcycle boots that had never touched a motorbike pedal. (Nate hated motorbikes.)
‘Hey, Zoey!’ purred June, in her musical influencer voice. ‘I’m so stoked to see you here.’
Nate grunted disagreeably.
‘Any word on Darina?’ asked Zoey. ‘I know she was a bit under the weather.’
June grimaced. ‘She’s been keeping her head down after the whole … incident. Although she left me this awful voicemail the other night. And rumour has it that she’s not vegan anymore, so there’s the whole ethical angle. Mind if I record?’
Before Zoey could respond, June pulled up TikTok on her phone and started recording.
‘Hi y’all, June Moon here. I’m at InkWell, the combination tattoo and wellness festival held at the Lloyd Center shopping mall in Portland, Oregon, and I’m going to be doing a yoga demonstration near the ice-skating rink in a few – hope to see you there!
But first, I’m going to grab a brain-friendly, muscle-friendly smoothie from The Smoothie Maven.
Talk about perfect for replenishing those all-essential vitamins and minerals.
You can grab yours for twenty per cent off when you use code JUNEMOON. ’
‘You can?’ Zoey had not approved any such thing.
‘Roll with me, babes,’ whispered June to Zoey. ‘I’m live-streaming, so don’t fuck it up.’
Wow, okay. Zoey was starting to see why June didn’t mind spending time with Nate the Hater.
‘So … what flavour do you recommend, Zozo?’
Zoey frowned. June always picked a dragon-fruit latte. Maybe she was trying to get on the viral smoothie bandwagon. Better fashionably late than never.
Affecting a smile, Zoey walked her through the various smoothie flavours: Don’t Frangipanic, Wells Bells, Blend it Like Beckham, and of course Brain Freeze.
‘Well, it has to be the brain one, doesn’t it?’ June passed Nate her phone, who glowered, but obediently, if scowlingly, pointed it in her direction. Zoey could see he was halfway through a lengthy Reddit post on his own phone, and felt bad for the internet people who’d have to read it.
With both hands free now, June made a show of taking the bottle and cracking it open.
‘I haven’t had one of these since the day you first put them on the menu – when was that, the day after Joaquin’s opening when we all got temporary tattoos?
Temporary vegan tattoos, y’all. The last time I came in, you were all sold out. ’
‘I fucking hate it when that happens,’ muttered Nate.
‘Oh wow, brain freeze!’ June giggled as she rubbed the back of her hand against her eye socket. ‘Wow, that’s quite something. What’s the cold equivalent of Hot Ones, because I think we just kicked it off.’
‘Cold Ones,’ groused Nate. ‘But without the lame guests and the stupid questions. Sweating and crying doesn’t make you interesting.’
Nick was clearly trying not to laugh. He leaned forward and whispered in Zoey’s ear, ‘This guy would go to McDonald’s and order a McUnhappy Meal.’
Zoey couldn’t help it. Even as a hater herself – but just of normal things, like movie talkers and clumpy toothpaste and AI – she got the giggles.
‘Babe, you’re ruining my take,’ muttered June out of the corner of her mouth. ‘Nate! End the stream!’
Nate, who was – wait, was he playing Pokémon GO on his own phone? – jabbed a button and handed June’s phone back to her. Its fluffy pom-pom chain waggled, catching Alice’s attention.
‘This is good,’ said June, sipping her smoothie. ‘I can feel the nutrition coursing through me. Even if … oh my God, my eye.’
Nate took the bottle from her as she blinked rapidly. He sipped from it, shrugging at Zoey’s curious glance. ‘What? I like pain. Makes me feel alive. Oh damn. That’s a smoothie lobotomy. If you asked me what year it is, I couldn’t tell you. A bad one.’
June had recovered by now, and she gave him a foul glare. ‘Shake it off, babe. We have the yoga demonstration, and I can’t have you carrying on like that.’
‘Sorry, babe.’ Nate looked both sullen and contrite, which was an interesting combination on a single face.
‘We should get tattoos, babe!’ said June, as she dragged Nate off towards the skating rink. ‘Those special vegan ones.’
‘Ugh, tattoos are so mainstream these days. If you really want to be counterculture, you should eschew ink altogether.’
Off they went, June taking selfies and Nate decrying every booth as some combination of lame, consumerist, or lame and consumerist.
‘He seems nice,’ said Nick.
‘Just a little ray of sunshine,’ said Zoey. ‘Specifically a November in the Pacific Northwest ray of sunshine.’
‘I wish he were as scarce as a ray of sunshine in November in the Pacific Northwest.’ Nick’s attention shifted to something behind Zoey. ‘Hey look, we’ve got a flash mob performing “Thriller”.’
The mall walkers had gathered in a motley group, and were lurching along the perimeter of the mall. Slack-jawed and slouching, they had their arms out as they shambled along, heading towards the candy store with the giant pink gobstopper in the display window.
‘Weird. I don’t hear any music.’ Zoey cocked her head, listening. ‘Celeste had better check in with the audio engineer before the Wall of Knobs play, because otherwise it’s going to be an acoustic set. And that’s not the vibe she’s going for.’
‘Maybe it’s that improv group again,’ suggested Nick, although he didn’t sound convinced. ‘From when we were putting up the Ro-mayor-O posters.’
‘Could be,’ said Zoey, similarly unconvinced.