Chapter 5 #2
“I can’t believe you still don’t use a notebook to write.
With all your ideas to write, I’m sure it gets crowded up there.
” He pointed toward my head, nearly poking a saucy finger in the middle of it.
“Didn’t you say that once before? That you had lots of stories and characters in your head, and sometimes, they felt like they were talking all at once? ”
I had. When I wrote stories like that anyway. “I guess I did.”
“Don’t you still write?”
“Of course I do. I thought you knew that I was trying to find a job to write. That’s the city dream after all,” I sighed with a bit of hesitancy. The longer I spent trying, the less sure I should continue to.
Writing was solitary, no matter how many people said they were cheering you on in the background after all.
In the end, all you had were results. And I didn’t have many of those to prove to myself that this was what I was supposed to do, even though writing wasn’t what I was supposed to do after spending hours on my computer and years racking up debt and student loans through school …
What was?
“Hey.” Josh ducked his head down to catch my eyes. The longer I thought, the further they drifted down, toward my shoes. “Are you all right? Sorry if I brought something up.”
“No. It’s fine. It’s all good,” I assured him. “Sorry. I was just thinking.”
Overthinking.
“Like I said, writing hasn’t been exactly a dream since I graduated. The first or second time now. The world isn’t exactly built for artists who don’t know someone who knows someone. Isn’t that a phrase?”
He hummed, looking back down at my hands still over my plate of wings. “We definitely need more napkins.”
Pulling my brain out of my internal spiral, I glanced down at my sauce-covered fingers. “Yeah.”
He reached across the bar counter to commandeer a few.
“Thanks again.”
“Means you’re eating them right.”
“Does it? Or does it just mean that I’m a messy eater?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Means you’re enjoying it.”
“Enjoying it again?”
He smiled. “When I travel and try to eat new things, I always have the tendency to make a mess of myself though. Just happens. I have no idea how to stop it, and I’ve given up on trying.”
“People must think you have eating issues.”
“Especially when it comes to dessert. I got icing and sweet creams all over myself in France—the ratios were all over the place—but I still couldn’t stop myself from trying a new pastry.
Or in Asia. Did you know that in some places, it’s considered bad form not to slurp when you’re eating something good? ”
“Really?”
“Maybe. Could just be a lie to weed the Americans out.” He pursed his lips, as if considering this new thought before offering another laugh.
I was unsure if I’d ever heard Josh laugh this much in his entire life.
At least not while I was around. It was a good look for him.
The sun-kissed freckles he must’ve developed against his tanned skin.
The way his voice dipped when he chuckled.
The laugh lines around his mouth he didn’t try to hide.
“Either way, the ramen went down great,” he said.
I laughed. “That good?”
“Best ever. Be disappointed if it wasn’t.”
“It was worth it though?”
“The noodles?”
“The travel,” I said. “The up and leaving your good job and running away.”
“I wouldn’t say it was running away.”
“What would you call it then?”
“Changing.” Josh said the word as if it was simple. “For the better. So, yeah, eating noodles across the world and stuffing my face full of various desserts definitely made me a better person. A better life liver.”
“Life liver?” I questioned.
“It’s a word.”
“I don’t doubt you,” I said. “Wasn’t it scary though? Taking such a risk?”
“I figure that’s half the fun, Bri. You should know that. You took the biggest risk of us all straight out of school and look at you now.”
“Look at me now? Broke in the city, living with my best friend and her brother.”
“Living in the city.”
Be grateful.
Be happy.
“And eating pretty decent wings with me,” he added.
That was, oddly enough, more than good right now. It was one of the best feelings I’d had in a while since I’d arrived. Not so … alone.
Not responding, I took the moment to eat a piece of neglected celery off to the side.
It felt nice to talk with Josh. More than nice. Yet still, I couldn’t help but think of our last conversation we’d had years ago. That, too, was hanging over me with a new wave of awkwardness.
“Josh?” I debated asking him if he remembered. If … he … I didn’t know what, but I just wanted to …
“Hey!”
A tall figure cut between us before I even had time to register what was happening. One broad arm clapped around Josh’s shoulders with the force of a reunion long overdue.
“Good to see you, man! How’ve you been?”
Josh blinked, then broke into a grin. “Hunter. Wow. Hey, man. It’s been a minute.”
“I was uptown for a late meeting,” Hunter explained, already making himself at home as he leaned slightly over the table. “Figured I’d catch the end of the game here. Not like I missed much though.”
Josh shook his head, chuckling. “Yeah, this one’s been a bit of a snooze.”
Then Hunter’s eyes landed on me. His suit, dark and sleek, screamed finance—or something adjacent to it. I could practically see the old photos Gina used to show me of Josh during his corporate days. The same clean lines. The same city-boy edge.
Hunter nudged Josh, smirking. “And who’s this?”
Josh didn’t look at me right away. “This is Brielle. She’s friends with my sister.”
Hunter’s grin grew wide. “Ohhhh, look at you. Keeping it in the family, huh? I told you, you weren’t going to be the one who ended up alone out of the lot of us.”
I raised my brows. Was there a bet?
Josh let out a small, tight laugh. “No, it’s not—we’re not together.”
The way he said it though, clipped and quick, sent a weird jolt through me. Like he was trying to clean something up or shoo me away like I was someone who jumped up onstage drunk to sing karaoke and he assured the people at the bar, I don’t know her.
“We pretty much grew up together. She’s practically another sister.”
Another sister.
There it was.
I forced a small smile, nodding politely at Hunter.
Hunter, blissfully unaware of the chaos rolling through my head, laughed. “Well, whatever it is, good for you, man. I’m just glad to see you out in the world again.”
I wasn’t sure what that meant. And I didn’t ask.
Because all I could hear, echoing louder than the game coming back on the TVs overhead, was that word again.
Sister.
Maybe this whole fake-date thing wasn’t such a good idea after all. I suddenly was having a whole new irritating wave toward Gina again.
Josh waved between himself and Hunter. “We used to work together.”
“I figured.” I cleared my throat and almost extended my hand before remembering the wings. “Sorry. Nice to meet you. Yeah, I definitely annoyed this guy enough, growing up.”
“That’s fun. You guys are just out enjoying the game then at least? Your team is getting cooked.”
“My sister bailed on her.”
“What a great guy,” his friend said, pulling him into what looked like a headlock. “You know what a good guy my friend is?”
I nodded, glancing toward Josh again, who was staring at me. It looked like he hadn’t stopped looking at me with that soft, understanding smile on his face that might’ve been pity after our conversation. Again. Wow.
“Oh,” I said, “I know.”