Chapter 21
twenty-one
He pulled me onto his lap in one smooth motion, and I followed his lead. Like a dance. Already, I could tell we’d be great partners.
I spread my legs over his thighs. I held the sides of his face, feeling the slight prickle of stubble along his jawline as I tilted his chin and turned his head up to meet me. Kiss after kiss, his tongue swept in to completely whisk me away to an entirely different world.
I didn’t feel like I was sitting on an old couch in the middle of a living room turned bedroom, where the honks of cars and the buzz of the television behind us were our constant companion.
I was only with Josh.
I could only see Josh through each peek I took through my eyelashes to watch him kiss me.
I would only smell Josh and his earthy musk and sweet eucalyptus body wash.
I could only hear the small sounds that Josh made—from tiny, humming moans to the hitch of his breath when I swooped in for an even deeper kiss, deeper touch.
All I could feel was Josh.
I fell into the feeling of his hands and, dear Lord, his mouth.
Each kiss deepened, and our bodies pressed together.
Every touch, every caress sent shivers through me, igniting a heat that I had long ago tamped down when I believed once and for all that Josh would never like me and that my crush as a teenager—and even after that—was just a crush.
But this? This proved that theory wrong. It blew it completely out of the water.
I gasped against his mouth.
Josh’s hands roamed my body with a hunger that matched my own, his touch setting my skin ablaze with need. My teeth grazed over his bottom lip, and he groaned.
I pulled away slightly, breathless and flushed, my eyes locking with his in a silent exchange of raw desire. Without a word, we both knew what was about to happen between us. It was inevitable, unstoppable.
His hands slid up over my arms to my shoulders, brushing the collar of my cardigan aside. He kissed over my collarbone until I reached up to help him the rest of the way, unbuttoning the top.
He chuckled. “Buttons.”
I giggled with him as if it were some kind of joke we were both in on as he worked on the second one. “Buttons.”
He placed a kiss wherever his fingertips grazed my bare skin. My chest was exposed where my cami lay, though the touch of lace pressed against the swell of my breasts.
“More layers,” he growled. I arched into his touch, breath hitching to hold me back from begging for more. I ran my hands down his chest, pulling his shirt out from where it had gotten caught in his belt.
His abs twitched against my hands. “God.”
“Sorry,” I whispered into his neck. He nipped at mine. “My hands are cold.”
“Don’t you dare apologize. Ever.”
Ever. Like we’d be doing this again. Like I still had everywhere to explore.
Every touch, every kiss, every whispered word felt like a new discovery. It was as if we were unraveling the mystery that had been waiting to be solved for years.
Our hands roamed and our bodies pressed closer together until it was just the two of us. I wanted more. More.
I could feel his heartbeat against my chest, matching the rapid pace of my own.
Pressing me back against the cushions, Josh lay over me, blocking everything out from my view and mind.
What else was there other than what was happening here right now?
Finding a job? So unimportant right now.
Twelve terrible dates? The bane of my singular existence, as well as whoever else had been drawn into the ridiculousness of it all.
Josh? Josh. Josh. Josh.
I laughed at my own train of thought. At me.
“What’s so funny?”
I shook my head. “Everything.”
That this is happening!
When he adjusted himself against me, I felt just how hard he was against my hip, and I sucked in another breath.
“Hopefully not everything,” he whispered, trailing another press of his lips up toward my ear.
Definitely not. I pulled him back down to my mouth, needing all of him I could get. I should always be wrapped up in his arms, lost in his touch, falling for him more with every sped-up heartbeat.
I gasped—and not out of pleasure. I pulled my face away from Josh, although my hands were still fisted in his shirt, which was making its way up toward his head. I whipped toward a different sound. The sound of keys and a, “Shit,” as they hit the hallway floor.
My eyes widened at Josh before he even seemed to understand the situation. But I caught on fast.
I shoved him back away from me until we were both sitting up on the couch. I quickly reached for my cardigan, managing one button before the heavy metal lock on the door turned.
Josh sat there, a little dumbstruck. Still looking at me.
Gina walked in. “Hellooo.”
I scrambled back off another inch from Josh, even as his fingers pressed into my thigh, begging me for just one more second, which I wanted to give. My entire body ached to give all of myself to him.
But I couldn’t as I watched Gina smile at the two of us.
“You’re up late.” Her brow furrowed. “Fall asleep? Your hair is crazy.”
I reached up to touch one of my frizzy waves. “Oh, yeah. I must look like a mess.”
Josh remained silent.
She chuckled. “You will not believe the day I had. Do you care if I complain? Or maybe it will be more of a rant? Either way, I have other people’s drama to share, if you’re interested in some vicarious tea.”
I cleared my throat. “Absolutely.”
“Fantastic.” She grinned, heading into her bedroom. “Let me change. Be right back!”
Josh and I sat there in silence, the weight of what had almost happened hanging heavily in the air between us. I could feel his gaze burning into me. My heart was still racing from our close encounter, and I struggled to compose myself as Gina disappeared into her room.
As soon as the door clicked shut behind her, Josh turned to me with a look of urgency in his eyes.
Was he going to say the words I wanted my brain to scream even though it very much … didn’t?
That this was a mistake.
Though, it wasn’t. Out of everything in my life, I could confidently say that our kiss didn’t feel that way.
He adjusted, maybe to get up and make his way to the bathroom or leave altogether.
Maybe I should leave?
I made the move to stand, but his hand caught my wrist, gently pulling me back down to sit next to him.
A rasp of his voice whispered in my ear, “I don’t think you’re just something I can get out of my system, Brielle.”
Worse, I didn’t think he was something I could just get out of my system either.
That was certain now.
One hundred percent. And maybe … maybe that was worse than anything else we could’ve done right now.