Chapter 23
Millie felt a nervous flutter in her chest as she looked at her reflection in the full-length mirror.
It was early, and the sun’s rays formed lines across the wooden floor.
Usually, she would have admired the simple beauty, but today she was way too anxious.
Millie hadn’t cared much about how she looked in a really long time, and it felt strange to actually take in her appearance.
It had been months since Blade had taken off on his quest for revenge, and she worried about him every day.
She couldn’t help but wonder if he was okay.
At least he had Dakota with him. Knowing that helped a little.
Lately, her worry had lessened just slightly, though, replaced by excitement for Jace’s visits.
It was silly and dangerous to allow herself to feel that way.
She knew better. Jace was Dr. Masterson’s apprentice. She was his patient.
Images of him giving her a random flower or a cupcake popped up in her head.
Maybe, just maybe, he saw her as more than that.
Could it be possible that he considered her a friend?
It was all so confusing. She hadn’t expected to enjoy his company.
In fact, during the first couple of days, she had wished that he would simply leave her alone.
She wasn’t used to the attention he was giving her.
He kept on looking at her, and he never stopped talking.
He talked about anything and everything, despite the fact that she couldn’t answer.
At first, she hated it. She even considered writing him a note to ask him to just keep quiet, but she knew that would be rude, so she didn’t.
After a while, his talking became less irritating, and then somehow it became comforting.
Now, she found herself looking forward to hearing whatever crazy story he would come up with.
Millie tugged a strand of light blonde hair behind her ear and pulled down the sleeves of her dress. She was being ridiculous. Feeling frustrated with herself, she shook her head and stormed out of her room. It didn’t matter what she looked like.
She had already eaten breakfast earlier, but she still needed to pack herself some lunch.
She was just going to make a sandwich stacked with vegetables.
She liked that better than some food anyway, and cooking had become a chore she didn’t enjoy since it was just her at home.
She baked, though. Jace seemed to enjoy all the treats she was giving him, and for some reason, that made her happy.
She wasn’t used to feeling happy and wasn’t sure whether she should even allow herself to feel that way.
Considering the situation, she was most probably setting herself up for heartache.
Nevertheless, she made a sandwich and then packed it, along with some muffins she had made that morning, into her basket.
For a long time, she hadn’t allowed herself to feel anything.
When she was younger, before everything happened, she used to dream about getting married and having children like the princesses in the stories her mother used to read to her. After the attack, that dream vanished.
There had been a time when she had wished that those men had killed her, like they had done with her mother and her sister. The physical and mental pain had been unbearable. As time passed, the physical wounds had healed, but the mental scars remained.
Men scared Millie, and she stayed as far away from them as possible.
The only men she trusted were Blade, Dr. Masterson, and Sheriff Ethan Wolfe.
Getting married had become an impossibility.
She couldn’t even think about a man touching her without breaking down and having an attack, but now here she was, thinking about Jace.
Somehow, he had wormed his way into her heart.
He had won her trust and her friendship, but she had no idea how he really felt about her.
Millie looked down at her dress. It was one of her favorites. She wondered if Jace thought she was pretty. Shaking her head, she let out a deep breath. Why was she doing this to herself? She shouldn’t be having such thoughts. There was no way that Jace saw her like that.
Surely, Dr. Masterson had told him what had happened to her.
Maybe they were friends, but it would never be more than that.
No man would want to be with her once they knew what had been done to her.
And even if they did, they would definitely change their minds when they learned that she couldn’t have children because of it.
No man wanted a barren wife. Jace knew, and he was being nice to her because it was his job.
Millie clutched the kitchen counter as tears stung her eyes. No, no, no, she pleaded with her mind as her vision blurred. Please, no . . .
***
The Cassidy Ranch, 1872
The big man dragged her into her parents’ bedroom and tossed her onto the bed. “We’re going to have so much fun with you,” he said, stalking toward her.
Millie pushed herself onto her hands and knees and backed away from him, but there was nowhere to go.
Behind her, her back hit the wall. She looked around frantically, trying to find a way to escape.
There was a window, and it was open. She lunged to her left.
If she could just get out of the window, she could get away.
The man grabbed her ankle and pulled her closer. “You’re a feisty little one, aren’t you? Don’t worry, I’ll tame you in no time.”
Millie didn’t quite understand why the men were doing what they were doing, but she had seen what they did to Mrs. Hawthorne and to her mother.
She didn’t have to understand to know what the man’s intentions were.
Using all her strength, Millie kicked and punched, but it didn’t stop the man from getting on top of her.
***
Present day
Millie sank to the floor, struggling to breathe as more and more images flashed through her mind. She couldn’t control it. She couldn’t stop it, and all the while, in the back of her mind, a voice kept reminding her that no man would ever want her. That Jace would never want her.