2001 Defiance Road (Rojo 2nd Generation: Lonestar Terrace #6)

PROLOGUE

JEWEL

I reached up, brushed the hair off my son’s forehead, and sighed before looking over at his father. We’d been arguing for hours, but when Parker woke up screaming, we both immediately calmed down and focused on helping him settle back to sleep.

“I hate arguing with you,” Micah admitted.

“I hate arguing with you, too, but it seems like that’s all we do lately.”

“We’ve gotta stop.”

“I don’t know how. Do you?”

“I miss us, Jewel.”

“Where did we go?” I whispered.

“We started on a path that split, and as much as I hate giving up, I think we have to or we’ll end up hating each other someday.”

“But I love you,” I choked out through my tears.

“And I love you, but I don’t love what we’ve become when we’re together.”

“We can fix it, Mic. If we work hard enough . . .”

“We shouldn’t have to work that hard to have a relationship, Jewel. Look at our parents.”

“My parents have argued plenty of times, and I’m sure yours have too.”

“But have you ever heard them argue like we’ve been doing?”

“No,” I admitted. “I haven’t.”

“I’ll always love you, babe, but if we stay together, I’m afraid that love might fade. I don’t want that.”

“Neither do I.”

We sat in silence for a few minutes and watched our son sleep. Finally, I turned back to Micah. “Do you think it might work out someday?”

“I think we should focus on being Parker’s mom and dad and let the rest fall into place naturally. But I want you to remember that I’ll support you in any way I can, and I’m not just talking about money.”

I placed my hand over Parker’s belly and held my pinky in the air. “Friends?”

“Friends,” Micah promised, hooking his pinky with mine. “Until someday we figure out how to make it more.”

◆◆◆

THIRTEEN YEARS AGO

“I will not let you take my son away from me, Micah!”

“I’m not taking him, Jewel. You’re letting him go!”

“Like hell I am!”

“You have been for years, whether you realize it or not.”

“What the hell does that mean?” I yelled.

“Have you asked Parker why he wants to stay with me all the fucking time? I know you think living with me is like a 24/7 frat party, but that’s not it at all.” When I rolled my eyes, Micah scoffed. “And if you actually talked to our fucking son, you’d know that.”

“I talk to Parker all the time!”

“With or without your asshole husband butting in? Because according to my son, that prick fucking hates him and makes sure he knows it.”

“Robert doesn’t hate Parker! He . . .”

“Ignores him? Berates him for the smallest things when he’s not ignoring him? Pays more attention to his own fucking kids than he does to ours? Makes sure Parker knows those other two boys matter more to him than Parker ever will?”

“He doesn’t . . .”

“Think long and hard about what you’re about to say so you don’t make a liar out of yourself, Jewel.”

I thought of how much Parker and Robert loved each other, but I realized I was remembering how things used to be–not what things looked like lately.

They hadn’t been close since Robby was born, and everything grew even more tense once I had Max.

That was when I first felt like I was losing Parker, but I’d chalked it up to jealousy because the little ones took up so much of my time.

“Parker isn’t coming to live with me because I’m pressuring him to or because he likes it better at my house, Jewel. He’s coming to live with me because he wants to and because he feels like he’s not welcome at your home.”

“That’s bullshit,” I argued, but the heat had left my voice.

Memories flashed through my mind of interactions between Robert and Parker over the last few months .

. . no, the last few years. Tears filled my eyes as I realized what I hadn’t seen or had ignored because I didn’t want to admit the truth.

In a heartbroken whisper, I said, “He never said anything to me.”

“Parker might not have, but I did. So did Emerald, Leia, Lexi, Petra, Adam, Heath, your mom, and Gamma. Basically every single person who loves you and your kids, Jewel. All of us fucking told you to ditch that loser, but you ignored us just like you ignored Parker.”

“I wanted to have everything, but I fucked it all up.”

“No, baby,” Micah said, pulling me into his arms. I tried to resist, but he held me tighter, pressing his hand against the back of my head to force it onto his shoulder.

I didn’t fight him for long because I needed this.

I needed this slap of reality, and I needed someone to hold me while my world crumbled.

“You didn’t fuck it up. He did. The problem is that you didn’t stop him. ”

“That’s just as bad.”

“It won’t be if you stop letting him tear your family apart, Jewel. It’s gone on way too long. Any longer, and that’s on you.”

“I don’t want to lose Parker, Micah. Is it already too late?”

“You’ll never lose Parker. He loves you just as much as I do, and you haven’t lost me yet.”

“I lost you years ago.”

“If that were true, I wouldn't be here now.”