17. #2
“Okay,” Gabby said as she stood with her laptop. “What am I picking up?”
“Nothing. I just wanted to prove I know what efforts a woman makes when she’s excited about a date.”
“Where am I going?”
“It’s called Twisted Scissors,” I said as I forwarded the address to Gabby’s phone.
“You’re sending me to a salon?” Gabby asked, eyes wide. “Really?”
“The clock’s ticking, and someone’s waiting for you.”
“I’m so glad I didn’t give up on you back when you were a grumpy asshole boss, because now you’re an awesome boss!”
“Remember that when we’re busting our asses over the next few months.”
“I can’t wait!”
◆◆◆
JEWEL
“When are you going to realize that your mind might belong to a thirteen-year-old boy, but your body is many, many, many multiples of that number?”
My dad’s brow furrowed in the way that meant he didn’t like what I’d said but wasn’t going to argue, because he knew I was right. Still, he growled, “Not that fucking many.”
“You know I’ve never been good at math.”
“Come on, Jewel. Tell me what’s going on.”
“Dad, you know you’re of the age . . .” When he glared at me, I backtracked fast. “Your kids are old enough to realize that life isn’t forever, and our time here is . . .”
“Stop bullshittin’ and tell me what the fuck is going on, Jewel.”
“Dad, you can’t do shit like this anymore. Your knees aren’t great, you jacked up your hip ages ago, it looks like you’ve injured it again today, and you’ve got arthritis in every joint except maybe your pinkie toes!”
“It doesn’t hurt when I blink,” he snapped sarcastically. When I narrowed my eyes at him, he asked, “What are you going to do with me?”
“I could just take you out back and put you down, but I guess I’ll prescribe some anti-inflammatories and muscle relaxers instead.” I paused for a second. “Wait! A rep came in last week, and I think he . . . give me a minute.”
I hurried out of the exam room and almost ran headlong into my brother Terran, who had probably seen Dad’s name on the board and come to check on him.
“What’s wrong with him?”
“He hit a patch of loose gravel on a turn and . . .”
“Did he lay it down?” Terran asked, voicing the biggest fear we had for all of our friends and family who rode. He answered himself. “No, he’d have gone by ambulance.”
“He didn’t lay it down, but he almost dropped it and hurt his shoulder and hip trying to keep the bike upright.”
“He should have just . . . well, there’s no sense saying it. He still could have ended up worse off.”
“We need to convince him to get a damn trike,” I said for the hundredth time this year. “It would make trips like this a lot fewer and farther between.”
“I’ll talk to Papa again and see if he and Tink can convince him.
Maybe even work on Hank. It’s about time for him to do the same thing, and I know Aunt Nichole will get on board,” Terran said quietly, staring at the carpet.
From experience, I knew he wasn’t even talking to me–he was making a plan.
Which meant Dad’s two-wheeled riding days were officially numbered.
If there was anyone on earth more stubborn than me, it was Terran. Hands down.
He was still mumbling to himself as he walked around me and went into the exam room, so I hurried into the med room where we kept the med safe next to the machine I hated more than Cap’n Crunch–the dreaded Pyxis.
I glared at it, throwing a few choice curses its way, still waiting for the damn machine to start talking back.
I rubbed my hands together to warm them and then rested my palm on the scanner.
After a few seconds, it beeped, but I kept my hand there until I heard the lock click.
I sifted through the samples reps had dropped off over the last few weeks and found the ones I’d told Dad about.
I was standing in front of the open safe, reading the pamphlet folded inside I’d just ripped open, when Spruce walked in and asked, “Why are Dad and Terran having a yelling match in exam three?”
I didn’t look up. “Dad hurt himself when he almost dropped his bike. He pulled some muscles in his shoulder and has pain in his hip. I’ll know more after David reads his X-rays. I sent a message asking him to put a rush on them.”
“Where’s Mom?”
“She didn’t come in with him.”
“Then how did he get here?” When I looked up, Spruce gave me a wry grin. “How much do you wanna bet he rode by himself?”
“That stubborn ass!” I hissed. “He’s in so much fucking trouble.”
“Sorry, little sister, but I’d be more afraid of Mom.”
“I’ll go back in and have him call her, but if he gives me grief, I’ll call her myself.”
“Good luck with that.”
I walked into the exam room without knocking and wasn’t surprised to see Terran sitting in a chair across from the exam table where Dad was perched.
I also wasn’t surprised they were glaring at each other, arms crossed, both so stubborn they’d sit here until they fused with the damn furniture before either one gave an inch.
“Are we absolutely sure you’re not biologically related?” When neither man answered, I stepped between them to block their view and pulled the muscle relaxer from its packaging. “You can take one of these every six hours, but you’ll need to . . .”
My voice trailed off when Dad popped a pill out of the blister pack and tossed it into his mouth. He swallowed hard, then stared at me expectantly, so I finished, “Take it with food and plenty of water.”
Even with me blocking his line of sight, Terran scoffed from across the room, knowing from experience exactly what had just happened.
“What now?” Dad asked.
“This is the anti . . .” Before I could finish, Dad popped out another pill and swallowed it the exact same way. I let my head fall back and stared at the ceiling while I took a calming breath. When I knew I wasn’t going to lose my shit, I looked at him and asked, “Why do I even bother?”
“How long before they fix it?”
“Neither one will fix the problem. You need to use crutches and stay off your feet until I get the X-ray results and see what our next step will be.”
Dad started to slide off the table, but I slapped a hand against his chest. “I have more instructions.”
He sighed dramatically. Fully aware that I probably looked just as furious as Terran had a few minutes ago, I glared back until Dad sat up and drawled, “Yes, dear?”
“That muscle relaxer might throw you for a loop, so don’t operate heavy machinery or make any life-altering decisions, okay?”
“Okay. Can I go now?”
I knew the answer, but just to be a pain in the ass, I asked, “Do you have someone in the waiting room to drive you home?”
“You know damn well I don’t.”
“Did you hear the part about heavy machinery?”
“Yeah, I’ll stay off my tractor while I’m on your pills.”
“Are you planning to ride your bike home?”
“Girl, you’re really pushing my buttons right now. How long before this shit kicks in?”
“Do you drive a Hot Wheels?”
“You know exactly what my bike is.”
“Can you pick it up with one hand?”
“Obviously not.”
“That makes it heavy machinery.”
“Oh, get a grip,” Dad said in disgust.
“Are you going to call Mom to come pick you up, or am I?”
“HIPAA violations everywhere!” Dad shouted.
“I’m not playing, old man.”
“Your mom went to Oklahoma City to shop for the day, so she isn’t even here to pick me up.”
There was a tap on the door, and Spruce stuck his head in. “Dad! When did you get here?” I stared at him like he’d lost his mind, but I caught onto his game when he added, “This is perfect! Jewel’s boyfriend just showed up to drop off a coffee for her. You can finally meet him.”
“Well, isn’t that just perfect?” Dad asked, laughter in his voice. “It’s divine intervention, Jewel. You said I can’t ride my bike home and need someone to drive me, and out of the blue, your boyfriend shows up! He can take me home.”
Spruce stepped into the room, followed by a stunned Ziggy, and turned to him with a smile. “Do you mind, Ziggy? Dad needs a ride home.” Before Ziggy could answer, Spruce assured Dad, “We’ll deliver your bike when we leave here. Just leave the key with Terran.”
Dad leaned around me to look at Terran. “Don’t do anything stupid, son.” When Terran just huffed in answer, Dad sat up straight and smiled at me. “Aren’t you going to introduce us, sweetheart?”
I leaned closer so only Dad could hear me. “No funny business, or I’ll take care of your bike myself.”
“That’s some thin ice you’re treading on, threatening me like that.”
“And then I’ll call Mom and dramatize this entire situation so she spends the four-and-a-half-hour drive home getting good and mad that you didn’t call her.”
“You play dirty.”
“I learned from the best–you and Mama.”
“I should’ve let the feds keep you,” Dad said in resignation.
“As if they could have held any of us,” I said with a dry laugh. “You saw what happened when they tried.”
“I didn’t see it, but I’d like to hear the story,” Ziggy said as he stepped closer. He leaned in and kissed me. “Hi, Kitten. Your coffee’s on your desk, and I brought you an afternoon snack. I’ll run your dad home and meet you back at the house after your shift.”
“No funny business,” I ordered, pointing at Dad. I looked at Ziggy. “Call me if there are any problems. Any at all, okay?”
Ziggy smiled warmly. “I’ll be fine, Jewel.”
“Screw this. I’m putting Baileys in my coffee.” I was almost out the door when I spun around and pointed at Dad. “That means I’ll be drinking and need a ride home, so Ziggy has to come back in one piece.”
I was almost to my office when I heard Dad yell, “Catch a ride with one of your brothers! Ziggy might be indisposed!”