Chapter 2
I WOKE UP early, with a slight headache.
I refused to call it a hangover. Last night I’d had Joe drive us home because I was tipsy.
But having a couple of drinks had never seemed to bother me before.
I almost hoped I had the flu. No one likes to come to the realization that they can’t do everything they did when they were younger.
Joe was already out of bed. I glanced over to the corner of the room where Martha, my constant companion of many years, lay resting on a new dog bed our six-year-old daughter, Julie, had set up for her, thinking Martha could use a bed in every room of the apartment.
This bed was just an old sheet over one of the couch cushions, but the geriatric border collie seemed to appreciate it.
Then I heard giggling from the kitchen. I looked at Martha and said, “What do you think those two nuts are up to?”
Martha’s tail flapped against the cushion. Then she got up gingerly and followed me to the kitchen, where we were greeted by a grinning little girl holding up a plate of misshapen pancakes, and a grown man with a goofy smile standing proudly behind her.
Julie was literally jumping up and down with excitement. “Mommy! We made these just for you.” Joe’s expression told me he didn’t expect me to eat the odd-shaped blobs on the plate. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“How did you know I wanted pancakes for breakfast?”
Julie’s grin was infectious. “Everyone wants pancakes for breakfast.”
It was hard to argue with someone who had a fact so firmly set.
The three of us sat in the kitchen eating pancakes bathed in syrup and chatting.
These were the moments I tried to savor. I love my job. I love helping people and stopping bad people from hurting others. But spending time with my family like this was the way I used to dream my life could be.
The problem was, I knew this would be the high point of my day.
I looked at Julie’s beautiful face and imagined all the fun we’d have if I just blew off my job and stayed home today.
Our relationship had grown tremendously since I’d started using some of the parenting tips I’d learned in therapy with my psychiatrist, Dr. Greene.
He’d made me consider the idea that work wasn’t the only thing fulfilling to me—that it might even be keeping me from my best possible relationship with Julie.
Joe said, “I should be out of the office early today.”
I said, “I’ll try to do the same thing.”
Then Julie chimed in, “Me too.”
That made us laugh. Julie turned and gave me a broad smile. Then she stretched forward and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
“I love you, Mommy,” she said.
“And I love you, Julie-bug.” My heart felt like it would burst, I was so happy. I knew Julie’s little kiss would carry me through the whole day.