Chapter 1 #3
Part of me wanted to tell him that we didn’t hate each other, that was the whole problem.
But the words died on my tongue, like they had done so many times before.
I shrugged even though he couldn’t hear it, like making my body respond casually to his gentle prodding would help keep my voice even, steady.
“He hasn’t been in touch,” I replied, picking idly at the rip in my jeans just above my knee.
“Well, it’s weird. Sebastian Jacobs is the smartest motherfucker I ever met, and him wearing our shirt in public after all this time means something,” Shep said.
“Alright, pretty sure you should be using that tin foil for cooking instead of making little pointy hats.”
“You know I’m right about this, Max. Using humor to deflect me is not working. ”
“No, but your therapy sure as hell seems to be,” I laughed, shaking my head. I felt better just talking to him, trading barbs. The back and forth between us was easy, real – felt way more real than seeing Sebastian on TVs and billboards all fucking day.
“I’m just saying, there’s a reason he was wearing a Reliant shirt out in public after all this time,” Shep argued, clacking his tongs together for good measure.
“Maybe it was laundry day.”
“Like that fucker does laundry.”
“Right?” I grinned. “He probably just puts on brand new shit every morning.”
“Gotta spend those millions somehow,” Shep agreed sagely. “Right, I gotta go feed Callie before she throws me on the grill.”
“Wouldn’t be much point in that, you’re all gristle.”
“Fuck you, I’d be delicious. Remember, Sheldon and Geoffrey are coming to the practice space tomorrow.”
“What did we do to deserve that shit?”
“Album’s pretty much done,” Shep pointed out, no doubt shrugging. “They’re gonna want to talk next steps, promotion strategy, all that bullshit. ”
“Can’t wait,” I sighed, tipping my head back against the back of the couch and rolling my eyes at the ceiling. “Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Later.”
I hung up, groaning at the idea of having to meet with Sheldon and Geoffrey the next day. As far as label drones went, they weren’t half bad, but most meetings with them felt like pulling teeth.
“Daddy, I’m clean now!” Sara’s yell echoed down the hallway.
I couldn’t help but grin at the sound of her little wet feet slapping against the hardwood floor as she ran to her room.
I could hear Abbey muttering under her breath about how wet feet and wooden floors don’t mix, but they must’ve made it to the bedroom without Sara falling and cracking her head open.
“Alright, I’m coming in!” I hollered back, getting to my feet and pushing all thoughts of Sebastian Jacobs to the back of my mind.
◆◆◆
“No. Fucking. Way.”
I glanced up at Mira, glad someone had vocalized the words that were currently crashing around my brain.
Sheldon and Geoffrey traded knowing looks, like they’d expected us to respond exactly the way Mira had done.
They’d been working with us for years, so I guess they knew us well enough to know that the offer they’d literally put on the table in front of us was going to be met with shock and a healthy dose of hostility.
Shep drummed his fingers across the front page of the contract and dragged it across the table to look at it in more detail. I had absolutely no interest in reading it, so left him to it.
We were sitting at one of the four folding tables set up around our converted warehouse practice space, having decided to take a day off from the studio. We’d planned on playing the new album all the way through, to make sure we were 100% happy with the track list before we finalised it.
Instead, we were sitting at one of the tables scattered around the room. All of the tables had their own uses – most of them were for equipment and one of them was for sitting and eating (and apparently taking surreal meetings with our reps from the label).
I was sandwiched between Mira and Annabelle.
They were both sitting cross armed, Mira’s dark brows pulled down tight over her stormy hazel eyes.
Annabelle’s expression was carefully blank, her dark eyes the only thing giving away just how furious she was.
They were both angry pretty much full time (and both for valid reasons – being a woman in a rock band was far from easy, and they’d dealt with more shit than Shep and I had) but knowing the source of their anger was the key to making sure you escaped it.
At that point, they were angry for me , and I couldn’t help but appreciate it.
The warmth in my chest was almost enough to melt the ice that had settled in my stomach as Sheldon and Geoffrey had outlined the offer.
“Sebastian has spent years talking shit about Max and now he wants to go on tour together like we’re all BFFs?” Mira spat, shaking her head so violently it sent her black braids flying.
“To be fair, Max has given as good as he’s gotten,” Sheldon pointed out.
“Oh, Max hasn’t given anything near as good as we could give, if you’d let us off our leash,” Annabelle replied sweetly. All the color drained from Sheldon’s face and he sat back in his chair – smart man.
“The fact of the matter is, Burning Bright are the biggest band in the world . They’re not playing arenas anymore, they’re playing stadiums, and they’re playing them everywhere.
They could’ve picked any band they wanted to support them on this tour, but Sebastian has asked for you specifically,” Geoffrey said, seemingly unfazed by our collective fury.
“Look, we’re not dumb,” Shep said, leaning forward and dropping the contract on the table.
“We know that going on this tour is going to make us, and the label, a shit ton of money. As far as promotion for the new album goes, there’s no bigger platform than going on tour with Burning Bright.
The internet is going to lose its collective shit if we announce a tour together. ”
“Exactly, so I’ll go back the label and say you’re on board…”
“That’s not what I said,” Shep cut in, raising both of his big hands and spreading them wide, indicating that he was talking for all of us. I was grateful that he was, because I was so shocked I was actually speechless.
Memories of the last tour were crashing over me in roaring, suffocating waves.
The heat of Sebastian’s slender body pressed against mine, his arm around my waist, his voice in my ear, the wall of noise that met us as we looked out at seemingly endless crowds – it had been like the world was literally at our feet. I felt dizzy just remembering it .
“Look, despite the unfortunate interviews both bands have given over the years, there are still a lot of people that love both Burning Bright and Reliant. People lie about having gone to shows on that tour you did together five years ago. It’s legendary,” Sheldon said, bright eyed and breathless.
“Don’t you want to bring back some of that magic? ”
Magic. That had been one word for it. Magic and misery and adoration and devastation and lust and…
“Why?”
The question tumbled out of my mouth before I’d made a conscious decision to speak, but it wasn’t a bad question. In fact, it was probably the only question that mattered.
“Excuse me?” Sheldon asked, eyes cutting in my direction like he was as shocked by my question as I had been.
“Why does Sebastian want us on this tour?” I asked, getting braver with each passing second. I forced the memories away – it wasn’t so difficult, I did it every damn day.
“Does it matter?” Geoffrey piped up.
“It matters to me,” I growled. “I want to know why. Then, and only then, will we think about it. ”
I stood up, ignoring the way my legs were trembling and crossed the room to pick up my guitar. I turned my back on the table, on the meeting, on fucking Sebastian, and pulled my guitar on.
A few seconds later, I felt one of Shep’s massive hands clap down on my shoulder as he walked past me to grab his bass.
Mira playfully ruffled my hair before leaping gracefully over her drum kit.
Annabelle rested her hand between my taut shoulder blades for just a second before slipping away to get her own guitar.
Sheldon and Geoffrey gathered their stupid folders of contracts and possible album covers and tour plans and left, no doubt whispering to each other about how fucking difficult musicians could be. I didn’t give a shit. I just wanted to play for a bit.
Music was easy for me, always had been. Even when it was painful - like ripping my skin open and rifling through my guts to pull out some lyrics that were true, that meant something - it came to me easy as breathing.
Making music, that I could do. Going on tour with Burning Bright?
That was a whole other ball game, and there was no way I was gonna play if I didn’t know the rules.
“Alright, from the top.”
◆◆ ◆
Shep had picked me up that morning to take me to the warehouse – partly because he was concerned about the environment, but mostly because he was worried I wasn’t gonna show knowing that we’d have to sit down with Sheldon and Geoffrey.
He dropped me off at the end of my street so he wouldn’t disturb a bunch of kids playing hockey in the road. I nodded at them as I passed, lifting my guitar case a little as I waved at them.
I was so distracted by the kids’ hockey game that I didn’t realize there was someone standing in my driveway until I was just a few steps away.
He was leaning against my Lincoln, his graceful legs crossed at the ankle as he rested against the paintwork.
The leather jacket was nowhere to be seen – his once pale arms were now covered in endless swirls of colorful ink that made his eyes seem bluer, his lips seem pinker, his hair seem darker.
Everything about him was flawless, from the elegant curve of his spine to the way his shirt stretched across his perfectly rounded shoulders, falling down his toned torso in adoring waves of cotton.
It was like my memories of him had been reduced to faded, curling photographs, time and distance and sheer force of will dulling everything about him into something softer, easier to live with.
Seeing him in person, for the first time in five years, it was like those memories had been converted and digitized and projected into the world in high definition.
The sight of him hit me like a ton of bricks, my breath punched out of my chest as the shock of seeing him there, just yards away, rocked me back on my heels.
I probably would’ve fallen on my damn ass at the sight of him, but the knowledge that he’d probably enjoy that kept me stubbornly on my feet.
“Max,” Sebastian said, his full lips stretching into a soft, knowing smile. “It’s been forever.”