Chapter 7
S omewhere between Australia and New Zealand, Myah decided to go back to New York.
Nobody was talking about it outright, but of course that didn’t mean no one was talking about it.
Doing a run of festival shows meant that most of the crew we were working with were locals, people who actually worked for the festival rather than for a set band.
The only permanent member of our staff we had with us was Kelly, at least until we hit Japan, where we’d hop off the festival circuit and the Burning Bright tour headline tour really started.
We knew a few solid guys in Australia and New Zealand who were helping us out at the festivals but they weren’t on our permanent touring crew, so we were pretty immune to the gossip because the people we were working with were switching out every few days until the tour got really started.
But Burning Bright had more permanent members of staff who travelled with them everywhere.
They could afford to have people on their payroll for the long haul, I guess.
They had their tour manager Adrian, their manager Loren, their publicist Staycee, their stylist/make-up artist/hairdresser (yes, really) Karlie, plus their techs – Connor, who was responsible for Sebastian’s guitars, Nate who was Jet’s guitar tech, Braeden who was Steve’s bass tech, Dustin who took care of Eddie’s drums and Ray, their overall sound guy.
From what I could tell, they were nice enough and had the easy camaraderie that came from years of working together – but that didn’t mean they were immune to gossip. Especially after they started hanging around with Abbey.
Shep and I had just finished an interview for a New Zealand based music magazine and were wandering around the festival ground when Abbey came bouncing over, her pink hair pulled into deceptively innocent looking pig tails.
“Before you ask, Sara is with Mira and Annabelle at catering,” she said before I even had a chance to open my mouth. It wasn’t that I didn’t know she wouldn’t just run off and leave Sara alone at a festival but it was our first time bringing her out on the road so I was a little on edge.
“Ok,” I shrugged. “You’re practically bouncing out of your skin, what’s going on?”
“Hey Jet, wait up!” Shep called out to the blond guitarist. He clapped a hand on my shoulder as a goodbye and loped off after him.
Abbey glanced around to make sure there was no one in our immediate vicinity before she let out a squeal that I recognized as her “gossip incoming” siren.
I couldn’t help but glance around us too, suddenly paranoid that she was going to spill some massive secret.
The backstage area at most festivals was pretty chill, but there were journalists in our midst, milling about interviewing various bands and artists.
“Myah has left the tour. We’re literally two festivals in and she’s gone home!”
“What? Who told you that?” I demanded, ignoring the sinking feeling in my stomach that I usually associated with guilt.
“Staycee and Karlie. Stace was panicking that Myah might post something on her socials that would make it clear she wasn’t on the tour anymore,” Abbey explained, her eyes glittering with barely disguised glee.
After catching one glimpse of my blank expression, Abbey continued.
“Myah had made a big deal about packing for the tour on Insta, so if she starts posting stuff that makes it clear she’s back in New York, people are going to wonder why. ”
“Oh. Do people really care about that shit?” I asked, falling into step beside her. I didn’t need to ask to know she was wordlessly leading me to the catering tent to meet up with Sara, Mira and Annabelle. Also to probably get lunch – gossiping makes Abbey hungry.
“Uh, yes? She’s engaged to one of the most popular musicians in the world right now. Do you know how many people would lose their freaking minds if they thought for one second that Sebastian fucking Jacobs was single again?”
“My middle name’s Michael, but I think Sebastian fucking Jacobs has a better ring to it.”
Abbey and I both leapt about an inch out of our skins at the sound of Sebastian’s voice. She spun first, flashing him a dazzling we-weren’t-just-talking-about-you-I-promise smile while I took a second to make sure my face wasn’t actually burning.
Sebastian was a few feet behind us, looking stupidly good in yet another pair of “distressed” jeans (a light, soft gray this time) and an oversized, tie dyed Twenty One Pilots tee shirt.
It really complimented the swirls of watercolor style ink that adorned his arms. Not that I noticed that kind of thing.
He was smiling, but it was quiet, distracted.
His eyes flickered to mine before he quickly glanced away, settling his gaze on Abbey.
“You guys heard about Myah, I take it.”
Abbey nodded, trying her very best to look sheepish. She didn’t quite manage it, but I’m sure Sebastian appreciated the effort. I tried to give Sebastian a friendly smile, hoping it looked sincere, but knowing my luck (and my face) it probably came across as more of a grimace.
“Is everything ok?” I asked as he started walking with us down the lightly rolling hill towards the catering tent.
“Yeah,” he shrugged, aiming for casual and missing by about a mile. “We haven’t broken up or anything. Myah just has some trust issues, I guess. So she’s going back to New York to work on it a bit.”
I could feel the heat rising up the back of my neck, spreading across my cheeks and even reaching the tips of my ears at the mention of “trust issues”.
Sebastian risked a glance in my direction, knowing fine well I’d understand exactly what he was saying – especially after the conversation we’d had back in Australia.
It didn’t take a genius to figure out that after Myah had talked to me, she and Sebastian had gotten into it. He’d probably asked her the same question he’d asked me – Do you trust me? – but I was willing to bet the farm he didn’t get the answer from her that he got from me.
And if his fiancée didn’t trust him? Well, shit. There was only one thing that had changed between New York and Myah’s last day on the tour in Australia – she’d gotten the chance to see Sebastian and I interact. She’d gotten confirmation from me that we’d been more than tourmates five years ago.
She didn’t trust Sebastian because of me.
“Well, maybe some space will do you both the world of good,” Abbey said, reaching for Sebastian’s hand and giving it a supportive squeeze.
If he was as taken aback by her supportive gesture as I was, he didn’t show it.
Abbey was naturally suspicious of people she didn’t know very well (it’s all the gossiping, I swear – when you know so many secrets, you gotta end up hating people a little bit) but she’d clearly taken a shine to Sebastian just like Sara had.
“Yeah, absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that,” he agreed with a weak smile. “I mean, look at Max and me. Five years of not talking and we’re best buddies again.”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” I muttered darkly, knowing he’d get a laugh at the sour look on my face.
We’d reached the catering area – there were at least two dozen pine picnic tables set up on the freshly cut grass. It was easy to spot Mira, Annabelle and Sara sitting over by a sign that proudly proclaimed FRESHLY MADE STONEBAKED VEGAN PIZZA.
Sebastian hesitated by the edge of the seating area.
I wondered if it was because he could feel at least 10 pairs of eyes on him.
People pretended they weren’t looking – everyone was too “cool” to outright stare – but it was pretty obvious that more than a few people were glancing in his direction.
The low hum of people chatting intensified in his presence, rippling in our direction.
“Are you sure you’re alright?” I asked, trying to keep my face neutral. Frowning at him would make it clear just how concerned I was, and I wasn’t ready to unpack why I was so worried that his fiancée was now thousands of miles away.
“Sure. I mean, I’m wondering why so many good people struggle to trust me, but apart from that..."
He let his sentence trail off, fixing his shimmering blue eyes on the grass currently being crushed by his calf high Oxblood Dr Martens.
I looked down at my feet too – it seemed way safer than looking at his face and seeing just how upset he was.
I could hear it, in the soft scrape of his voice, that he was hurt by whatever Myah had said.
She was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and she didn’t trust him.
“I don’t think it’s a you problem, actually,” I replied, clearing my throat so I could barrel through what I wanted to say before I lost my nerve.
“You know what I think it is? You’re…everything.
You’re good looking, sharp as a tack, you’re funny, you’re generous, you care deeply about your people.
You’re too talented for your own good, honestly.
I’d guess that the reason Myah has issues trusting you, believing you, is because you’re kinda unbelievable. You’re too good to be true.”
I wasn’t going to reach for his hand like Abbey did – that was too intimate, too much. But I couldn’t just stand there, hands shoved in my pockets, giving him what had to be the most awkward pep talk in recent history.
I wrapped my fingers around his elbow, knowing he wouldn’t be shocked to feel my calloused fingers on his skin. I gave his arm a little squeeze, hoping it came off as warm and supportive as Abbey’s did.
“She’ll come round, Sebastian. She might doubt you now, but you can’t help accepting a miracle when it keeps happening in front of your own eyes.”
His eyes were wide when they met mine, glittering with something I didn’t want to put a name to. I was still holding onto his elbow so he wrapped his fingers around my wrist, his calloused fingertips so like my own.