Chapter 13
Today, Abby is dressed all in black. Although her black dress is a little longer than the skirts she usually wears, the black silk stockings with the line up the back make her legs look incredibly sexy.
“Today, we are going on a field trip,” Abby announced as soon as I stepped into the office. “Today, we are going to complete your saying goodbye to Megan,” she told me.
I was curious while Abby drove us all the way across town. I was beginning to think that maybe she was taking me to where she works with the NSA.
Then, Abby turned into the entrance of the Veteran’s Memorial cemetery when Megan is interred. I was stunned. Why were we here? Does Abby have someone here in this cemetery.
Abby stopped just inside the entryway and pulled out a little map. After turning the map this way and that and then checking our position, she drove past two rows and turned left at the third. She drove 10 places in and pulled over to park.
I was incredulous when Abby reached into her back seat and pulled out a bushel of flowers. “Today, we are gunna visit Megan and you are going to tell her how you feel,” Abby announced.
I was amazed when Abby led me four head stones into that 10th row. It felt like my heart swelled to near bursting as I gazed down at Megan’s headstone. I have not been able to bring myself to visit the cemetery since the day she was buried.
I fell to my knees as Abby placed the bushel of flowers onto Megan’s grave. “I love you Megan…I miss you so much, I miss you so much,” I sobbed openly.
Abby reached over and pulled me to my feet. She moved me over to a bench just 6 feet in front of Megan’s grave. “Tell her how you feel, Jack,” Abby told me softly. “Just pretend that she is up in heaven and she’s looking down on you. Pretend she is listening to you.
It took several moments to get my sobbing under control.
“I feel so alone without you, Megs,” I sniveled.
I felt lost without you in my life,” my breath hitched as I said it.
“Megan will never leave you, Jack,” You know that right?
” Abby suggested. “Abby will be with you always no matter what you do with your life from here on out,” she added.
Gently, Abby reached over and took my left hand in both of her hands. She turned to face me so her sexy athletic legs when pointed towards me.
“If Megan were here right now, what would she say to you? What do you think she would want for you?” Abby asked softly.
“She would tell me that she loves me forever,” I held back a sob as I said it. “She would probably tell me that she wants me to be okay. She would probably tell me to go on with my life. She would probably tell me that she wants me to find happiness,” I told Abby.
These are things that Dr Lacey and I have discussed in the past as I was healing. But here, in front of Megan’s gravestone, those words feel more real somehow. Those words seem to touch me deeper now.
“Do you think you could do that for Megan? Do you think you could let go now and move on with your life? Do you think you could let yourself find happiness again?” Abby prodded me.
“Yes…I think I could do that. I think I could try,” I replied in a voice so soft that you could barely hear it.
“Then tell her that, Jack. “Tell her that you are ready to rejoin life and that you will carry her in your heart forever,” Abby suggested.
“Tell her that you want to be happy again,” she told me.
“I was sobbing as I said those words in front of Megan’s grave. But as I said the words, it felt like a ten ton weight was lifting off of me. It felt like a spring of cleansing water was flooding into my soul. “I will always love you, Megan. You will be in my heart forever,” I promised.
It felt wondrously intimate that Abby had held my hand the entire time I was talking to my Megan. It felt especially right that Abby had been the one to lead me to this point. That Abby was here to share this with me.