Chapter 2
“Hey, brother…You look like you lost your last friend. Can I sit down?” Donny called out as he stepped up to the booth I was seated in. “It’s a free country…sit where ever you like,” I answered him tersely.
As I gaze at my brother as he sits down, I remember Lilly calling out his name while we were having sex.
But then, I have to remind myself that it’s not Donny’s fault as to what might pass through Lilly’s brain.
“What’s up?” Donny asked after taking a drink of his beer.
“Let me guess…You had a fight with Lilly?” My brother guessed correctly.
“Worse than a fight,” I hissed. “How can that be?” Donny asked curiously. “Lilly was fantasizing about another man while we were screwing and called out his name,” I told my brother while the rage inside burned again. I left out the part that HE was that man.
“Is that all?” Donny laughed. “You’re mad because Lilly had a fantasy?” he asked with a smirky smile on his face. “YES, THAT’S WHY I’M MAD,” I yelled louder than I intended.
“How would YOU feel if Jill called out some other man’s name while you were screwing her?” I rasped. “How would you feel if it was My NAME that she called out while she was having a climax.?” I ranted. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I felt like I had just said too much.
“It doesn’t matter, Jack! It’s just a fantasy to ramp up her arousal, is all it is,” Donny stated as if he’s defending my wife. “Tell me how the sex was before she blurted out that name?” Donny asked.
“Well, it was pretty fucking hot. She was fucking me like her life depended on it and I was just about to have the biggest nut I’d had in years,” I admitted.
“See, Jack? What does it matter if she thinks about something or someone else if she fucks you like a crazy woman?” Donny offered. “Aren’t you the benefactor if your wife fucks you like her pussy is on fire?”
“I don’t know, Donny. It makes me feel awful inside. It makes me feel like I’m not good enough for her. It makes me feel like I’m not man enough to please her,” I muttered quietly.
“It’s not like that at all, Jack,” Donny chuckled. “Have you ever fantasized about Lilly when you jerk off?” Donny asked. “Don’t tell me you don’t check out porn from time to time,” my Brother accused.
“And don’t even tell me that you think about Lilly while you gawk at those sexy naked girls. Don’t tell me that you are thinking of her when you pull your dick out and spank the monkey,” Donny laughed like it was all just some big joke.
Donny made me promise not to drive anywhere before he left the bar. I finished my third Long Island Ice Tea and called for an uber to take me home. I still didn’t want to talk to Lilly but I really had nowhere else to go on a Monday night.
“I’m gunna sleep in the guest room tonight,” I announced as soon as I stepped into the house. “I am still upset about what happened and I’m not ready to talk about it yet,” I told Lilly as I passed her going into the hallway.
As I was getting undressed in the guest bedroom, I had to admit to myself that what Donny said was true about watching porn and jerking off.
Inwardly, I justified to myself that it was just fantasy when I looked at those naked girls and beat off. That did not mean I wanted to step out on Lilly. It didn’t mean that she wasn’t enough for me. It certainly was not cheating.
As I slipped into bed in just my boxer shorts, I had to admit to myself that what I did watching porn was not really any different that Lilly fantasizing about another man. But part of me still worried that maybe she might act on that fantasy. Then what?
Part of my worry was why did she call our my brother’s name? Is there something about him that Makes Lilly want to fantasize him in particular? Is there something better about him than me that she wishes she was fucking him?