19. Shiloh
Shiloh
As mom and I make our way into the kitchen she says, “Shiloh, I love that big heart of yours, but you should have told me about this girl before you came here.”
I make a yikes face.
“I’m sorry. Cross met her the first night and we kind of hit it off. She has no family and travels alone. We had a bad run-in with Pierce, who happens to be her ex-husband and…” I go to finish and she cuts me off.
“Pierce? Pierce Drake? Leon’s boy?” She asks.
Mom knows all too well about Leon Drake. Leon is well known for a case that suspiciously got dropped after his wife Cara went missing. Cara and mom were friends, so we knew that Leon was beating her. I came around the corner when I was 10 to mom and Cara talking in the kitchen.
“Cara, you need to leave him before you get yourself killed.”
“I don’t know how, Liz. You know as well as I do the pull he has in this town. No one will believe me,” Cara said.
“We will figure it out. Please, Cara, it is only downhill from here.” Mom begged her as she lifted her hand to put on Cara’s face that was swollen and bruised.
“I’ll try, Liz,” Cara replied.
Mom hugged her friend and she left and was never seen again.
The reports said that Cara was found a week later, mauled by a mountain lion in Yellowstone National Park, but we know what really happened.
Leon put on a good show acting as if he was all torn up.
Him being a defense attorney helped him out too, I’m sure.
I nod and her eyes grow wide. “You stay away from him, Shiloh,” she warns.
“I try, mom, but he’s around the circuit,” I defend, leaving out the fact that he tried to have me trampled and almost beat the living shit out of me if Verge hadn't stepped in.
“Well, now I for sure understand why you told her to come home with you. I’m not mad, just give me a heads up next time, okay?
You know I am making dinner tonight. I think I have enough for her, though.
Tuff and Lucy will be here around 5:00,” she says, putting my hair behind my ear, her eyes softening.
“Okay, sorry.” I say, and I go to walk away to join Verge and she grabs my arm and I look back at her.
“And what of the bull rider? I gather with how you backhanded Cross in the stomach and the way he kissed you on the head. You two are together?” She says with raised brows.
I bite my lip and nod yes before I say, “I tried to avoid it, but.”
“Shiloh, honey, the heart wants what the heart wants. I get it. I was just asking, is all.” She says and puts both her hands on my arms, and I’m kind of shocked she didn’t tell me to not get involved with him given my dad.
I fully expected her to be against it. She pulls me in for a hug and I hug her back, and as I hug her I see the photo of all of us when I was four at the Pbr World Finals, and I hug her harder and say, “It scares me.”
She pulls back, searching my eyes before she says, “I know, but don’t let that fear drive you.”
“How did you do it with dad?” I ask.
She chuckles a bit, looking up as her eyes mist over, and then she looks back at me. “I held my breath for 8 seconds.”
I laugh and so does she, and we hug again, and as we pull back she puts her hand on my face and says, “But I never asked him to change who he was or what he chose to do. He loved it. As dangerous and reckless as it was, I would have never asked him to choose. I miss him. God, I do, Shiloh, but I find peace in the fact that he died doing something he loved. If you don’t think you can shoulder the weight of the worry, then you need to break it off.
” She pauses again, then smiles and continues, “But if you can handle it, then don’t let your fear hold you back is the only advice I can offer.
I’m not saying it gets easier. I followed your dad for 15 wonderful years, baby, and I’d do it again. ”
“Thanks, mom.” I say, hugging her once more and walking out of the house to go join Verge in the loft.
As I walk out of the house with the screen door slapping behind me, Jake, our black and white husky, comes up to me wagging his tail. I bend down to rub his ears and give him a hug, saying, “ I missed you, big guy.”
I stand and he follows me into the barn and I walk up the stairs.
I look around and don’t see Verge, but I see the door to the guest room open.
I tiptoe to the room to find him sleeping peacefully on the bed.
I admire him like a creep, but oh well. I lean on the doorframe and notice the scar again that runs from the back of his ear to his jawline and wonder what happened.
I look down to his duffle and notice a reflection in it, and my curiosity gets the best of me.
I crouch down, looking up to make sure he is still sleeping, and slightly open the bag and find a picture frame, maybe a 4x6, with a photo of him and a woman who I assume is his mother.
He’s holding a buckle proudly and she's kissing his cheek and his arm is around her.
My heart breaks for him. I still can't fathom it only being roughly two weeks since his mother passed.
It felt like a century before I could function right after my dad died and I was only 5.
Some days it will still hit me like a frying pan to the head.
The other night, when they announced Dirty Bird being the sire of Downright Dirty, it hit me then.
“Snooping, are we?” He says, and I fall backwards, banging my head on the doorframe, but thank God I don’t drop the frame.
“Ouch, shit, sorry. I’m not even gonna lie to you. Yes, yes, I was snooping.” I chuckle. I mean, what's the sense in lying? He caught me red-handed.
He smiles, wiping the sleep from his eyes, and the butterflies in my stomach erupt at how adorable he looks sleepy..
“Sorry, I hope you’re not mad.” I say, standing, rubbing the back of my head, not realizing I’m still holding the photo in my other hand.
“Nah, it’s fine.” He holds his hand out, gesturing for me to hand him the photo, and I do.
He looks down at it, smiling, before he says, “This was when I was 18 and I won at the Colorado Stampede.” He laughs again, still looking at the photo.
“She was so excited. It wasn’t the first buckle I won, but it was my first big rodeo where I wasn’t considered a Jr.”
I walk over to the side of the bed, sliding my boots off and sitting beside him before I say, “I’m here if you need to talk about it.”
He wipes under his nose, schooling his features, before he puts the photo on the nightstand to the right before he says, “The only thing I want to talk about right now is last night.”
My stomach twists and I go to look down and he puts his hand on the nape of my neck, pulling my gaze back to his, and he runs his thumb along my jaw and he says, “Please.”
“I’m sorry about how I acted, Verge. I was just scared. I know I need to get a handle on my shit,” I say, using my best Tyler impression voice, and he pinches his eyebrows together and a laugh erupts from him before he says, “Who told you that?’
“Tyler said I need to get a handle on my shit, and if I can’t I shouldn’t be with you,” I admit.
He pulls me closer, putting his lips on mine, and damn, it feels good. Pulling back, he puts his head to mine and says, “We all have shit we need to get a handle on, Shiloh.”
I grab his hand on my face and I look up at him, putting my lips to his again, kissing him deeply.
He wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me closer, and a low groan escapes him.
Pulling me back deeper into the bed, my nerves get the better of me and I put my hand on his bare chest, putting my hair behind my ear, and say, “I still haven’t showered, we need to table this.
” I nervously laugh, using the fact that I haven’t showered as an excuse to tuck tail.
“I won’t tell if you won’t,” he teases, then looks at me, searching my eyes, and says, “You okay?”
I plop back on the bed, covering my face, and finally just tell him, “I’m kind of a virgin.”
He pulls my hands from my face and I see him smiling before he says, “Kind of?”
I roll my head to him, laughing, when I say, “I am a virgin.”
He puts his hand on my face and says, “Why do you seem so embarrassed by that? That just makes me like you even more.”
“Because, I’m 20 years old.” I say, putting my hands to my face again, and he peels them away again, leaning down, kissing me. He pulls back, rubbing his thumb on my cheek, and he says, “Baby, I assure you that is nothing to be embarrassed by. Again, I find it all the more attractive.”
“You sure?” I ask.
“I’m positive, and there is no rush. If I ever overstep, just tell me.” He assures me, and my feelings for him just got that much stronger.
I kiss him again, and as I pull back he looks into my eyes and then brushes a loose hair behind my ear and says, “Tell you what. Why don’t you and I go on a real date?”
I laugh like a stupid little schoolgirl because honestly I’m all giddy inside right now and say, “Like where and when?” I ask.
“I have an idea, but I need to talk to someone first. Maybe tomorrow?” He says.
“Okay, I know mom had a dinner planned at the house for all of us tonight. She always does a big dinner when we get back from shows. Uncle Tuff and Aunt Lucy will be here this evening.”
“Okay, well why don’t you take that shower and we can take a nap for a while. I don’t know about you, but I’m still exhausted, and you do kinda stink,” he jokes, and I push his chest.
“Shut up, I do not.”
He laughs, laying back down, saying, “Go on now, you smell like a horse.”
I shake my head, laughing at him. He’s not completely wrong. I do, in fact, still smell like horses.
“Okay, I’m going to go up to the house. I don’t have any clothes here,” I say.
“I have a t-shirt and some gym shorts you can borrow,” he says, pointing to his bag.
My stomach swirls at the thought of wearing his clothes, and I shake my head, rifling again through his bag, finding a black t-shirt and a pair of gym shorts. I look back to him as he throws the covers back over him and winks at me. “Have a nice shower.”
I smile, putting my hair behind my ear, and go in the linen closet for a towel and shut the door behind me. If I wasn’t already obsessed with this man, I sure as shit am now.