Chapter 34 Shiloh
Shiloh
“Rise and shine, sleepy head,” I say, poking Verge in the side. He groans, rolling over, putting his pillow on his head, and I laugh.
I laugh, pushing him as I get up to get dressed. He rolls over and, damn, his bare chest makes me want to stay in bed all day. His tattoos, that necklace, oof, I may be drooling at this point.
“Come on, we need to get the horses loaded, tack, and…”
He throws his pillow at me, and I yelp before he says, “And breakfast, we know, we know,” he laughs before he says, “As much as I missed you in my bed, it’s too early, and you know Beau is going to be late.”
I roll my eyes as I button my jeans and throw my hoodie over my head.
He sits up, and I study the tattoo on his chest, then avert my eyes so we don’t get into a sad conversation.
I want to be happy today. I am a tad nervous about our run today.
He did really well yesterday. Havoc can for sure be a handful, but he seems to handle her really well.
I’ve honestly never seen anyone besides Cross be able to handle her, but she seems to have really taken to Verge.
Havoc has really always been a one person horse.
Meaning she only has really bonded with Cross, and she gives everyone else a hard time.
“You handled Havoc really well yesterday, but make sure you sit back right when the chute opens so you don’t get ahead of me,” I say as I bend down to slide my boots on.
I know I probably sound like a broken record, but I’ve never roped with anyone but Cross.
We started this when we were 8 years old.
I bite my lip, feeling annoying at this point, and he is standing, putting his jeans on, and looks up at me and says, “She was a handful the first week I started riding her, but I think she’s getting used to me.
I like her. I will make sure to hold her back, baby.
I know I’m not him, but I’m going to do my best.”
I grab my hat off the dresser and walk over to him, running my hand down his chest, and say, “I don’t mean to be annoying, I swear, I've just never…”
He brings his hand to my face, and his silver eyes search mine before he says, “Baby, you don’t need to explain to me, I get it.
I will always take your advice on this. I’m good, but I’m not him.
I reckon you have roped with him since you started looking at those boots of yours when you get nervous. ”
I smile, looking down, biting my lip, and he brings my eyes back to his, looking down to my lips before he lays his lips on mine, kissing me softly.
He pulls back, and I trail my hands down his abdomen, grabbing his pant line and pulling him closer to me, and he laughs before he says against my lips, “If you wanna eat, heifer, we don’t have time for that. ”
I throw my head back, laughing, and push him away, and he wipes his lips with the pad of his thumb, laughing at me.
“Touché, fine sir. Touché.”
He walks toward me, kissing me on the head, and he throws a t-shirt on, along with a hoodie, and grabs the duffle by the door we packed last night.
“Love, let's go,” Verge says, and she hops off the bed following us downstairs.
Once we get downstairs, the smell of diesel fuel fills my nose, and Cash is loading the horses already in the trailer.
“Damn, big brother, you’re up earlier than me,” I laugh.
“Couldn’t sleep,” he says, his eyes looking tired.
“Beau meeting us there?” I ask, considering I see now he’s loading Venom and Midnight into the trailer as well.
“Yeah, I told Tyler to save the gas. We have room for her,” he says as he puts Midnight in the trailer. Verge puts his hand on the small of my back and says, “I’m going to grab a smoke before we head out.”
I nod, looking back at Cash, who is closing the trailer doors. I walk over to him and say, “You okay, you look tired.”
“I’m good, how are you feeling about today?” he asks.
I shrug, “Better now that we practiced,” I say.
He shakes his head no, “Not about the roping, about his riding.”
I look at my boots, and he steps closer, putting his hand on my arm, and I look up at him, “I’ll be there, okay? This time then the 10 rounds in Vegas and he’s done. Uncle Tuff is bringing his bulls today too, so he will be there.”
I nod, putting my hair behind my ear, and shake my head, “I love you, Cash, thanks for always being there.”
He hugs me, “Always, little sister.”
I pull back and look over my shoulder and see Tyler heading out of her trailer. She looks at us, smiling.
“Good Morning, who’s ready to kick some ass and take some names today?” Cash smiles at her, and I notice a light in his eye that hasn’t been there in years before he quickly looks to the ground before he clears his throat and says, “Ready when you all are.”
Love comes running up with Jake to Cash, and he laughs, petting them, and Verge walks up along with them.
“We ready?” He asks, standing beside me, putting his hand on the small of my back.
“Let's go get this hungry hungry hippo fed.” Tyler laughs out, and I slap her arm, secretly loving that she keeps using Cross’ catch phrases.
Some people may be bothered, and I get it since we all handle our grief in different ways, but having a little slice of his humor around for sure brings me joy, and I think she knows that.
I love how quickly she has grown to understand me.
Honestly, I’m sure I can thank Cross for that.
I'm sure he filled her in on all my quirks, knowing him. I think back to the first day when I tried to shrug her off, and I’m glad she didn’t back off.
It’s wild how God can place people in your life that you didn’t even know you would need or want, yet it’s all part of a greater plan.
I will never understand the plan of taking Cross the way he was taken, but maybe he was just too good for this world. He was just the right amount of love and humor. I miss him every fucking day, but I know now he’s watching over me, and it gives me a sense of peace.
“Let's go then, you’re driving,” Cash says to me.
“Why am I driving?” I ask.
“Because I got up and loaded everything,” he counters.
“Fair enough,” I laugh.
All of us, including Love, hop in the truck, and I put it in drive. As we roll past the house, mom opens the door, waving.
I roll down the window. “You coming today?”
“Yeah, Tuff and Lucy are coming to get me. I'll see you all there.” she smiles, and I get an excited feeling in my stomach, happy that she is going to come and be there for Lucy and Tuff. Mom, although she kind of seems reclusive, she is the most loyal friend. She knows Tuff and Lucy will need her today, and she is going to make it happen. I’m also excited she is going to come watch.
Lord knows I’ll need all the support I can get, and I’m sure she knows that too.
Not only with roping, but with watching Verge this evening.
I’m not stupid. I know he snuck off to a few rides while we were off, which is why I sent Cash to go keep an eye on him.
Whether he knew Cash was there or not is totally beyond me, but as mad as I was at him, I couldn't take not knowing if he was okay.
The bulls at jackpots typically aren't nearly as good as PRCA bulls, but still I needed to know he was okay.
I nod. “Love you, see you there.”
Verge looks over at me, winking, and grabs my hand, and we head out to our first rodeo in over a month.
Once we pull into the rodeo ground, I drive in and notice Pierce's trailer parked near the front, and my stomach sours. I glance at Tyler in the back as she pets Love’s head nervously.
Verge looks at me and says, “I asked yesterday if they banned him, and they said it was out of their hands till trial.” He flexes his jaw and grabs my hand.
“That’s such horse shit,” Tyler says, biting her nail.
Cash hasn’t said a word, but he looks as if he already knew this.
“Cash, you don’t seem surprised,” I say as I park the trailer.
“I knew he’d be here, I called too,” he looks at Tyler, then me. “No one goes off on their own, that includes you, Verge, we need to travel in packs. I doubt he’d do anything today, but who the fuck knows.” He says with his jaw ticking.
“Got it,” Tyler replies.
I park the truck, and we all unload the horses and head to the entry office to pay our fees and sign up.
The day lingers on slowly. We all keep an eye out for Pierce, but I don’t think he’s stupid enough to come near us, given he’s in hot water.
Whether his daddy can get him off or not, I’m pretty sure we have a solid case.
It’s finally time for team roping, and I’m warming Riot up while Verge warms Havoc up beside me.
As I ride, I admire him and her. I like him on a horse way more than I do a bull, that’s for damn sure.
Tyler won first in the barrels, securing her spot in Vegas, and third in the breakaway. She is still going to Vegas on that end, but she always says she is more concerned about her barrel standings and does breakaway more so for fun. She still has a shot at winning some money, though.
Cash and Beau just ran and are currently first in the team roping. They had a great run, and I’m happy for them, but I plan on taking first.
Verge and I walk up to the arena together since we are currently on deck. He is swinging his rope, gathering it, when he looks at me and winks. “You ready, Boots?”
“As I’ll ever be,” I say, taking a deep breath.
I’m nervous, but I’m confident too. Verge has done nothing but listen to any critique I have, and I’m thankful for it.
I know I keep rambling on, but it’s not because I lack confidence in him, it’s more so myself I’m lacking confidence in because, as hard as I’m trying to trust him, it’s still hard for me, and I know he understands that, but that doesn't make me feel less guilty about it.
“Shiloh Hillard and Verge McCoy, let’s go,” the announcer booms over the speakers. We make our way to the chutes, and both horses, per usual, are hopping up and down, ready to go.
The steer makes its way into the chute, and I push my heels down, choking up on my reins and holding my rope in my right hand.
A bout of pure anxiety hits me, and I take a steadying breath and look up to the sun.
As cold as it is today, I feel the warmth of the sun on my face, and I feel as if Cross is here with me, and it settles my restless heart just enough to gain my confidence back.
I look over at Verge, who is looking at me. “We got this.”
“In the box now, we have Shiloh Hillard riding Lets Riot. She is currently leading average in the world standings, her heeler tonight is Verge McCoy, who is riding Queen of Havoc. You may recognize him since he’s leading average in the bull riding.
We’re interested to see how this plays out tonight. Let’s rope!” The announcers say.
Verge looks at me with a half smirk and nods, his rope ready in his hand, and holds Havoc tight in the other.
I look at the cowboy, nodding. “Let's go,” I shout.
The chute springs open, and the calf bursts out, trying to shoot left, but I swing my rope just in time to catch him and pull him right. As I dally and pull, Verge already has the steer's hind legs scooped up and dallying himself, backing up.
Holy shit, I think to myself. We fucking did it.
A smile beams across my face, and tears brim my eyes as I look at the man across from me.
“Weee DOGGIE!” I hear Tyler holler from the stands, putting her fingers in her mouth and blowing out a loud whistle. Cash and Beau stand beside her on their horses, and I look at Cash, who is holding a $20 up in the air, clapping slowly with a smile on his face.
We may pull this off after all.