Epilogue
“Jason! I thought I’d find you here…”
It was my favorite coffee shop in Ann Arbor, one I’d used since college days… one of Sasha and my favorite places to go to while away a lazy morning just chilling and enjoying each other’s company.
But that was in the past. Memories I’d always cherish, even if they brought pain as well.
“Kate,” I replied. Not meaning to sound curt or angry, toning it down with adding, “Well, sounds like you were looking for me…”
“Can I join you?”
We chatted about this and that—both us avoiding the elephant in the room—until Kate felt I was finally ready to here the news that had sent her looking for me.
“Jason, Sasha asked me to pass on a message…”
I don’t care what I said earlier… just for a moment, the flywheel of hope fired up…
“She didn’t want you hearing through the grapevine… but she thought it might be too painful for you if she told you in person…”
Flywheel screaming to a halt, now I had that terrible, hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach.
“Jason, you know it was going to happen one day… well, it’s happened… Sasha’s twelve weeks along…”
Dear old Kate. Always the most gentle of souls. No use of the ‘P’ word, no mention of Thomas’s name… that Sasha was carrying Thomas’s child.
Of course a small voice within shouted ‘that should have been me… that should be my child, our child,’ but the bigger part of me was looking forward… still hurting, but definitely looking forward.
Kate was about to speak again… nervous, trying to fill the space with babble. I stopped her. Paused to find just the right words.
“Kate, I’m not going to insult you guys by pretending I have no mixed feelings… but please tell Sasha I’m happy for her… that I hope all goes well with the pregnancy and that she and Thomas have a healthy, happy baby…”
Sending best wishes to Thomas surprised me. I knew I was partly to blame, but some part of me would always feel he’d broken his promise to me, even if Sasha was technically correct, it had been her not him who’d grown tired of sharing.
“Kate, pass on my best wishes… tell them both they’ll make wonderful parents…”
“Thanks Jason, that will mean the world to Sasha,” she smiled, obviously wondering whether to share her unspoken thought.
“I don’t know whether you want to hear it, but I’ll say it anyway… I know this was never how either of you wanted things to end… but, you have to know she’ll never stop loving you…
“It’s just… the games you both loved playing… they led her to someone she ended up loving more…
Did Kate’s words help?
Yes and no.
They reminded me what I’d lost. What I’d so stupidly caused to become lost. But they also reminded me that I’d not wasted that part of my life. I’d loved a wonderful woman. Shared many special days and memories.
But like so many couples, ‘til death us do part’ just wasn’t meant to be.
We just rolled the dice one time too many.
Rolled our African dice that fateful last time.
Benson should have ended the game.
But we just couldn’t resist.
Thomas was our snake eyes.
And when the music stopped, it was me not him who was the one left without a partner…
--End--