2
Jude woke sandy-eyed the next morning with his head wrapped in a dull haze, his mind emptied by everything that had happened the night before.
He reached into his small drawer as if his life depended on it.
He took a Vitamin B-complex tablet and felt the fog ease slightly minutes later, though not completely.
He only slept an hour and a half because he had spent the night finishing Sky’s pile of schoolwork.
There were numerous activities, and one task alone had taken hours to complete.
He had not even started his own assignments, deciding instead to deal with them later at school during his free time.
“Faster! I’m going to be late!” Mitch shouted from the car, getting angrier.
Jude did not mind almost running barefoot as he floundered to grab his school shoes at the entryway. He slid a pair of socks into one of his pockets with quiet difficulty. He opted to wear his shoes in the car, fully aware that Mitch would not tolerate even a few extra seconds of waiting.
Closing the door of the house behind him, he rushed, and he even almost jumped onto the porch steps. He tiptoed and bit his bottom lip when the tiny pebbles on the pavement stung his bare skin. Almost like a marathon, he headed quickly toward Mitch’s Series Eight BMW, gifted from Francis.
Jude was struggling with the things in his hands, most of them obviously from Sky.
Despite this, he would not want to miss a rare opportunity to get a ride with his sister because she only did this every leap year or just once in a blue moon.
He thought, maybe this would be a great chance to start a good conversation with his sister.
They never really got the chance to talk about everything.
Part of him was getting very excited thinking about the chances they might get closer, in a way.
But the other side of him knew the familiarity that, when it came to situations like this, she had some hidden motives to dwell on.
Even though he was in a hurry, he still made sure to be extra careful so that Sky’s projects and assignments would not undergo any alteration in structure.
One of Sky’s school assignments, which he probably spent six hours on, was this house depicting a loving family.
The theme of their exhibition was love: love for family, for friends, for a special someone, or for anything at all, as long as it was rooted in genuine affection.
Jasper Granger was the first image that flashed in Jude’s mind, but he quickly realized that handing a sole figure of his long-time crush to the owner of this project would be like summoning the Grim Reaper.
He was the younger brother of his worst enemy after all—that was why he decided to reconsider his theme and chose one that reflected a home filled with the warmth of a loving family.
Though on his part, he could not clearly picture his life as having one.
Jude salvaged a one-inch-thick piece of plywood he found in his father’s old warehouse the night before, shaped it into a perfect square, and used it as the base.
The artificial Bermuda grass lay seamlessly across the surface.
The house was carefully crafted from various clay colors and tiny bricks that he had spent hours meticulously molding.
A cute blue clay car rested in the garage, while an artificial tree stood by the pavement, and a hammock hung gently beneath the Narra tree.
The mother, father, Sky, and Jasper, whom he also made of clay, were very satisfying to look at, most especially Jasper, whom he made sure to carve every detail extra carefully. Jude stared at his figure for a while and could not help but feel the butterflies going crazy in his stomach.
Jude had never seen their parents, so he made a typical parental figure.
As a perfectionist in everything, he did not realize until he had finished that he had made a very detailed artwork that seemed like it was his own school activity.
He had always been like this ever since.
The result turned out far better than he had ever imagined, maybe because he also enjoyed crafting it.
The other assignments: the essay writing with a minimum of ten thousand words about Teenage Pregnancy and the Importance of Sex Education in his Literature subject, Calculus equations, and some qualitative research, were just a piece of cake for him.
“You really are gay the way you move, fucking too slow.” Mitch was upset.
“I’m not gay!” he protested, even though he feared Mitch.
“How dare you raise your voice at me? Get in faster bitch!” she demanded and rolled her eyes.
Jude struggled to get into the passenger seat with all the things in his hands, shaking due to nervousness and palpitations brought on by the four cups of pure coffee he had consumed during the making.
Although his sister had always treated him this way, a quiet ache still lingered in the corners of his sensitive heart.
Despite her clear disdain, he still longed to be close to her.
He yearned for the kind of sibling relationship he often saw at school—one filled with warmth and affection, resembling the kind of friendship shared between best friends.
A sibling who was willing to wait for him after class so they could both go home together, while their parents were waiting for them for family dinner.
A sibling whom he could count on and talk to whenever people bullied him.
A sibling whom he could confide in and could openly share his thoughts and feelings whenever he had good news, and when he had a bad day.
He wanted to feel the love and care between them, as a sibling and as a family, but she only hindered it—and all these years, Jude yearned for it.
“Since Mom and Dad are gone for a week, I’m going to throw a party this Friday night,” Mitch said minutes after they pulled off.
Jude abruptly stopped wearing his socks and looked at Mitch in surprise, his brows furrowed unintentionally.
“You don’t want to upset Mom and Dad,” he softly answered.
Jude did not want her to yell at him more.
“Shut the fuck up,” she cursed under her breath. “I’m going to rip your tongue out of your head when you tell Mommy and Daddy about my plans.” She glared at him and then looked back at the road. “And don’t you dare crease your thick ugly brows at me, faggot.”
Jude blinked twice. A dart seemed to hit him directly on his chest. He was used to these words from her, but Jude was a very sensitive person, especially when it came to his family. He might look strong outside, but deep inside, he was very soft.
“Mom’s definitely going to be furious if she finds out,” he said in a low, unsteady voice, stung by her comment.
Jude had no desire to be part of whatever she was planning. He knew it would only lead to trouble. Besides, he already had his own plans for the night: a quiet, peaceful Friday, alone in his room.
“That’s exactly why no one should know, so keep your fucking mouth shut. If they found out, there’s only one to blame, and that’s fucking you,” she said with a lethal glare.
Jude heaved a secret sigh, words of protest wanting to come out of his mouth, but he chose not to.
“I don’t want you to use my room,” he said very hesitantly in defeat.
“Deal,” she negotiated as if she owned the whole house. “But I warn you, you should never come out of your fucking cage.”
Jude did not argue with her. He had no desire to socialize or mingle with her friends anyway.
“And one thing, I need your savings for the party,” said Mitch as if it were just a simple request.
“What?” he asked in astonishment. “Are you serious?”
“You think I am joking?” she said seriously, and when it became clear that she was serious, he slumped his back against the passenger seat.
“You’re too much, Mitch. You know I am saving to buy a laptop for college,” he almost begged her to change her mind.
“Okay, then,” she said in a snarky tone. “You leave me no choice but to tell the whole school about your great obsession with Jasper Granger, and then the bullying gets worse, and Sky will bury you alive. How ‘bout that?” she threatened.
This was why she offered him a ride to school out of the blue, because she wanted something from him.
He should have known better. But one thing was for sure: he could not argue with Mitch anymore.
She was the only person who knew that he had a huge crush on Jasper Granger.
He was so helpless and completely caught off guard.
He wanted to cry his heart out in frustration, but surprisingly, anger dominated inside him.
He never got angry easily. Hence, Jude could not express it verbally or in action.
He knew that he was weak. He always got lost, so he just stayed silent and kept everything inside.
“Besides, I’m going to pay you, so don’t worry,” Mitch added.
Jude did not respond anymore. He already knew that she would not pay him back.
The rest of the ride to school was very silent.
Mitch made sure to drop him a kilometer away from the school so nobody could see them together, and so Jude still had to walk.
He did not complain and just stayed silent.
He already had no energy left to think about things he could not control at the moment.
He still could not get over the idea that his sister would use his savings only to spend them on a nonsense party in their parents’ house on a Friday night, which he had already set as his time to get a full eight hours of sleep after a week of exhaustion and deprivation.