3
Jude’s junior and senior high school years had always felt painfully staggering, as though time itself moved at a snail’s pace.
The more he longed for it all to end, the more it seemed to take forever.
Still, when he woke up that morning, he felt an unfamiliar sense of gratitude.
They finally started the first week of the second semester.
This only meant he was one step closer to leaving everything behind and finally pursuing college in another institution, hopefully one where nobody could recognize him.
The thought alone filled him with great anticipation.
Soon, there would be no more bullying. Soon, he would have the freedom to make his own choices.
Soon, he would express himself openly without fear.
Soon, hopefully, slowly step out of the shell he built around himself for a very long time.
Jude longed to study in an environment where excellence thrived without cruelty, where competition inspired rather than suffocated. He wanted to be surrounded by people who valued meaningful conversations, who challenged and understood him. Perhaps he might even find friends. Real ones.
Above all, more than anything, he could not wait to leave Sky Granger behind.
The person he despised the most, someone who had brought nothing but misery into his life.
The thought of never seeing him again felt like a promise of peace and a haven of more positive possibilities.
He also dreamt of independence, living on his own, away from a place he never truly considered home.
For him, it was nothing more than a house filled with an unloving family.
Surely, he would miss his room more than anything.
Soon. Just a little longer. Endure a little more, and everything will finally be over. He mentally encouraged himself.
Hopefully, all these things he thought and planned about would happen in the future, and if they did, he hoped it would not be too late.
Jude snapped out of his thoughts as he wiped a drop of sweat cascading from his forehead.
He only walked from their house to school because he missed the bus.
Thankfully, as he had expected, the rain stayed behind the clouds today.
The weather was fine, and he hoped it would stay that way for the rest of the day.
Jude continued walking through the school’s lobby, only to see numerous students jostling impatiently, tiptoeing assiduously, and craning their necks like giraffes to see what was on the bulletin board.
He tried to keep his head down while his hands tightly gripped the straps of his backpack, heading toward them, wanting to know what the announcement was as well, though he already had an idea about this familiar commotion.
Jude halted in his tracks when he saw Jasper emerging from the crowd of students.
Jasper’s eyes landed directly on Jude when he came out.
Jude released a sheepish smile when he met Jasper’s dark eyes with flecks of gold.
He was like a glacier calving under his gaze.
Jasper strode toward him with his hands shoved in his pockets, smoking cool and handsome.
His hair was neatly cut in a modern pompadour, and he looked good in his uniform, which did not seem to be crumpled.
Jude believed he was perfect in all aspects, from his body to his clothes, and deeper into his soul.
He was Jasper Granger after all: very handsome, tidy, organized, composed, always fresh, and with a sense of pride.
Jude could even smell his sweat wafting in the air, which stank to his nose like perfume.
Jude felt like he was hallucinating when he saw the sides of his lips break into a smile, but despite this, his cheeks immediately burned at the illusion.
What does this man do to me? Why is he affecting me this much? Jude thought to himself.
Jude blinked several times when Jasper smiled at him, and this time it was very clear that he almost fainted.
He noticed some of the students’ eyes gazing upon them.
Some were throwing glares, envious eyes, and casual stares.
The crowd knew their silent competition over academics.
It had been going on for many years now.
But for Jude, he was not competing with anyone.
He did not consider Jasper a competition but rather the love of his life.
Jasper was one of the famous students at Lindaville University. As much as Jude did not want to share him with anyone, many of the girls, bisexuals, and gays were drooling over him, and somehow, Jude did not like the attention he was getting. He wanted Jasper to be his.
All his.
“Hi, Jasper.” Jude greeted him first with obvious shyness.
“Hi, Jude,” he casually responded.
Jasper’s aura was just too vibrant, and he was positively affecting Jude.
Jasper Granger was the opposite of his older brother.
While Jasper was a polite, hardworking, and outstanding student, the other Granger was the opposite.
Sky was abysmal, rude, a tyrant, lazy, and a very bad boy.
There was no positive thing that you could ever describe in the name of Sky.
All the bad qualities and red flags in a man that you could ever find were all possessed by him.
Jude knew for himself why he fell in love with Jasper.
He exactly defined his ideal boyfriend, whom he really wanted to be with in the future.
He possessed the qualities that he wanted in a man.
“Congrats on being first once again,” Jasper said.
“What?!” Jude’s eyes widened in surprise.
Jasper let out a snicker that made Jude stare in awe.
“Don’t act surprised, Jude. You know I can never beat you, just like everybody else.”
Jasper found him cute—that, after all the years of always being the top one amongst the batch, he still felt surprised. He loved Jude’s naivety. He was easily drawn to this type of person.
Jude blinked his eyes, trying to grasp the sudden information, before quickly striding toward the bulletin board.
He inserted himself into the crowd with ease.
He ducked his head down and tried to avoid meeting the eyes of people so they would not see him.
Being petite and slender, he took advantage of being able to easily make his way to the front despite getting sandwiched.
He closed his eyes when he finally reached the forepart, people hovering above him, especially the tall seniors.
He slowly opened his eyes, and a smile drew on his lips when he saw his name at the very top.
TOP 50 STUDENTS OF THE 1ST SEMESTER OF THE SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL DEPARTMENT
General Weighted Average
Jude Finn – 4.0
Jasper Granger – 3.91
Czyra Labuc – 3.87
Louine Yabulam – 3.87
Colleen Pena – 3.85
Haidee Tao – 3.82
Hyacinth Bunyao – 3.80
Chona Calisub – 3.79
Donna Langbu – 3.79
The competition was tough, but he did not mind. Lacking interest, he did not read the rest of the top students listed. Instead, he quickly went back to Jasper with a smile pasted on his face.
“I’d never thought I’d be top one again,” he said happily, innocence authentically just creeping out of his face. “Thank you for the praise, Jasper. I really appreciate it. Congrats to you too.”
“Thanks, Jude,” he said with a smile. “But don’t be so complacent. I’ll strive harder this second semester,” he threatened with a playful smirk.
A sincere smile tugged at Jude’s lips, amused by Jasper’s dedication and proud of how committed he was to school.
“Let’s work harder together then, Jasper.”
Blood ran even redder up his cheeks when he realized what he had just said out of enthusiasm, earning Jasper a chuckle. His eyes were glued to Jasper’s lips when he made that expression, hypnotizing him. Before it got even more awkward, Jasper spoke.
“Your sister invited me to your house for a party,” he started. “Maybe we should use it as an occasion to celebrate, then. Are you down?” Jasper suggested.
Jude was slightly shocked and perplexed by the unexpected news. He did not expect his sister to send invitations this fast, and to invite someone like Jasper into the house. As far as he knew, Jasper was not a party person. He thought she had already gone out of line.
“A-hh… I’m not really sure if I can go out of my room. You know people don’t like me that much, and I am not really into parties.” Jude reluctantly replied, debating whether to accept his offer or not.
He really wanted to hang out with Jasper.
Jude had never been to a party before. He had never been invited to parties, not even once in his entire life.
Nonetheless, he preferred being alone in his room anyway—just clinging to his books, doing his assignments, and then taking naps in between.
Besides, he had part-time jobs to think about, too.
Jude had always been content on his own.
The company of academic papers and the novels written by his favorite authors had always been enough to keep him happy.
But still, this was the first time anyone had ever invited him to a party, and the fact that it was Jasper who asked made him think twice.
“Yeah, I know you’re not a party person,” Jasper said, snapping him away from his thoughts.
“I think I can’t make it in the first place, either,” he chuckled slightly.
“You know me, I’m not really into that kind of stuff as well.
But they say it is fun to go out of our comfort zone sometimes,” he raised his brows together very quickly as he smiled.
That was a manly expression, Jude thought.
“I just thought of going because maybe we can hang out. How ‘bout going out for a movie this coming Sunday? Are you game with that?” Jasper offered out of the blue, leaving him in shock: his mouth fell agape as his eyes dilated and his nervous system seemed to pause at the sudden offer.
Did Jasper Granger, my ultimate crush since seventh grade, just ask me out? Is it really happening for real? Please wake me up if I’m just daydreaming. Jude thought incessantly in disbelief.
So, he’s gay? But he’s completely straight. No doubts. Does it mean it’s just a plain hangout? Nothing more than something? No special feelings? Thoughts keep bombarding in. He had a lot of questions going through his head. He could not keep up.
“I mean if you don’t want t—”
“I would love to, Jasper. What time?” Jude abruptly cut him off before he could change his mind.
Jasper smirked, and Jude’s heart sped up more as the feeling of warmth engulfed his core. He never had imagined in his lifetime that Jasper Granger would want to hang out with someone like him and even talk to him in public.
Jasper and Jude had a lot of things in common: being studious, hardworking, always chasing excellence, not to mention being outstanding in all classes, and having some similar hobbies were only a few of several qualities that made Jude think that they were meant for each other.
He thought they were very compatible in many ways.
This was why maybe his feelings for him only blossomed more and more over the years, and they only escalated to the highest peak with Jasper’s gesture today.
Jude had adored Jasper Granger very much in secret for over five years now; obsessed might be the right term.
No matter what somebody might think about his crazy obsession with him, he would still be proud of himself for admiring someone outstanding in all aspects, someone without a hint of flaws.
For Jude, Jasper was the only reason why he had something to look forward to in a day here in school.
It was like he was the only light illuminating the darkness of this hell, and now, Jasper asking him to hang out with him made the butterflies in his stomach go blatantly insane, and his heart fluttered in dimensions he could not decipher.
I hope he also feels the same way, he thought to himself.
But in that fleeting, beautiful moment, Jude was abruptly pulled back to reality when someone slammed into his shoulder.
The impact sent a sharp sting through his body, and he instinctively grabbed his eyeglasses to keep them from falling.
When he looked up, he saw Julius and Kevin squeezing through the narrow space between him and Jasper, heading straight for the bulletin board.
Before he could fully recover, another, much harder force followed.
This time, it was Sky. With deliberate force, Sky brushed past him, his shoulder crashing against Jude’s.
Given Sky’s height and build, the impact nearly knocked Jude off his feet.
He staggered, almost hitting the ground, but managed to steady himself at the last second.
The pain this time was far worse, radiating through him.
“Are you okay?” Jasper asked, picking up Jude’s glasses and handing them back.
“Yeah…I’m okay,” Jude replied, forcing a smile as he quickly put his glasses back on.
Jude watched as they continued toward the bulletin board as if their names were listed there, too.
Jude’s chest tightened with quiet humiliation.
Slowly, he turned back to Jasper, only to find an unreadable expression on his face.
Jasper slightly shook his head, and Jude seemed to hallucinate seeing the side of his lips tipped up into a smile.