8
Jasper had just finished reading a random book about financial security when Sky suddenly showed up in his room very early in the morning.
Weekends were supposed to mean spending time together, even if it was only through quick hangouts or meaningless conversations.
At least that was what he always claimed, but oftentimes, it obviously did not happen.
Despite living under the same roof, they barely had time with each other.
Sky was always out and busy while Jasper juggled part-time jobs and tutorial sessions for lower grades.
Jasper handled two bookings this semester: one was Samantha from seventh grade in science, and Gerald from eighth grade in mathematics.
Sky, with a tired expression written all over his face, lazily kicked his shoes off with his feet.
With his worn-out, dark, faded blue jeans and loose dark blue-green plain T-shirt, he almost stumbled when the right shoe stubbornly clung to his foot.
He was staggering on his feet as he made his way to Jasper, dumping his back on the bed with an audible sigh.
Jasper shook his head at his brother’s display before lying beside him.
The strong scent of alcohol emanated from his body, making it obvious that he had been out doing illegal work again.
Jasper’s expression dimmed with worry, though neither of them spoke.
Nearly ten minutes passed before Jasper finally broke the silence.
“Dre?” Jasper called softly, turning his head to glance at his brother’s side profile.
Jasper had thought Sky was asleep already, but judging from the distant look in his eyes, he was deep in thought too.
“What?” he responded, still staring at his raised feet pressed against the wall, black socks on.
Jasper had copied Sky’s habit, too. It was their thing whenever they were in his room, lying on the bed late at night with their feet propped up against the wall, heads resting at the foot of the bed, talking, and catching up about life. Now, it was already three in the morning.
Sky looked as though he had returned from a war.
Jasper had noticed lately that something about him felt off.
Though Sky had always been serious and constantly lost in thought, the past few weeks felt different.
Something was clearly bothering him. Jasper wanted to help, but Sky never let him get involved in his business. He clearly told Jasper that.
“Are you okay?” Jasper finally asked. “What’s on your mind?” he hoped that, even just this once, Sky would open up to him.
Sky narrowed his eyes slightly, though Jasper knew it was only because he did not want him to brood.
“Nothing. I’m fine. What made you ask that?”
Jasper shook his head hesitantly and brought his gaze back to his feet, feeling a sliver of frustration within him. Sometimes, Jasper felt it was unfair that he could confide all his problems to Sky, yet Sky never shared any of his own.
“You…what’s on your mind?” Sky asked with a hint of concern in his voice, as he always did when it came to his brother. “You know you can always share your problems with me.”
Jasper smirked.
“Nah…Stop babying me.” he blinked, reluctant to voice what he wanted to say. “I was just thinking if I could borrow your truck in the afternoon tomorrow,” he finally blurted out his intention.
Sky frowned at him and turned back to where his face was.
“I’ve heard you ask that faggot to go out. Is it a date? I can’t believe you are asking that gaytard.” he let out a humorless, forced chuckle. “Tell you, I won’t let you drive just for that stupid date, and definitely, I won’t let you put him in my truck.”
Of course, Sky knew. Everything, when it came to Jasper and Jude, he knew it all; whether at school or elsewhere, he always had a way of knowing everything.
“You can come too if you’re jeal—”
“Shut up.” Sky abruptly cut him off. “Not a funny joke. Why would I get jealous over that faggot?” he said defensively.
“I was just joking,” Jasper said when he turned really serious.
“Stop joking around with me over an unworthy person,” he said sternly. “And why the fuck him, really?”
“And why not him?” Jasper asked immediately, but it came off more like a tease.
“There are so many boys you can ask out, Jasper. Why that ugly motherfucker faggot?” he said in annoyance.
Sky was dead serious, knowing he had already called Jasper by his first name.
Sky had already accepted Jasper for being gay back in seventh grade.
Jasper thought at first that he would be so angry when he confessed his gender identity.
To his surprise, Sky suddenly pulled him into a warm hug that lasted as long as they both needed, then held his face gently and looked him straight in the eyes: “Sorry if you feel like you could not tell me. You are still my little brother. Nothing will ever change that. I am always here for you…Besides, I already knew when we were still little that you wanted a dick.”
Sky showered him with words of affirmation way back. They were young and emotional; unlike now, they seemed distant. The last sentence, however, made them burst into a fit of laughter, and from that day on, Sky became more protective of him.
“Hey?” Sky nudged his side, snapping him out of his memory.
“What?”
“Were you even listening?” Sky flickered in irritation, but Jasper was used to his attitude.
Sky easily got grumpy even over small things.
“Yeah…what is it again?” Jasper asked.
Sky rolled his eyes.
“I said there are many options out there that you can ask someone out on a date. Why that stupid, ugly little faggot?” he suggested hoarsely.
Jasper knew he was tired, but Sky wanted to have time with him.
Jasper could tell that there was alcohol in his system because of how his sentences fumbled against his tongue and his smell.
Knowing his brother, he was an expert when it came to alcohol.
He could still control himself. He was immune to it, and somehow, that made Jasper worry about his health.
It would take him a hundred bottles of liquor before he got intoxicated.
“Why do you keep on calling him faggot? You know I’m gay too. And Jude’s not ugly and definitely not stupid. He’s pretty and very smart. I can’t understand why you people call him a duckling.” Jasper said.
“Pretty is only for a girl. Ugly is for Jude. That’s it.” Sky said it so roughly that Jasper unintentionally burst into laughter.
The moment had been serious until Sky ruined it with such a ridiculous remark. Jasper could not tell if he was joking because Sky looked completely serious, his brows furrowed as if he were ready to kill someone.
“Why do you hate him so much, Dre? What’s in him that you hate him so much? What’s the reason?” Jasper asked, though he had already asked him these questions numerous times before, but his answer was still the same.
“I just don’t like him,” he replied bluntly.
“But your eyes say otherwise,” Jasper said.
“Stop inventing.”
“I am not.”
“Why would I like that fag?” Sky asked, disgust evident in his voice. “Goddamn, Jasper Granger, my dick is straighter than a bat. It has entered a lot of vagina already.”
“Your mouth, Sky Granger,” Jasper reprimanded, keeping his face straight, though he wanted to laugh really hard. “And I never said you liked him.”
Sky froze for a second, clearly caught off guard, before looking away.
“Okay, fine,” he muttered at last. “I’ll let you use my truck so you can bring that faggot to your stupid date. I know you will spill your reasons to get in your way.”
Got ya! Jasper mentally celebrated. He knew how to get into his brother’s weak spot pretty well. And one of the easiest ways was to bring Jude into the picture.
“You’re just jealous.” Jasper teased as he poked his side.
“Don’t start it. I tell you,” He threatened, but Jasper was tough.
“You’re jealous, admit it.”
Sky groaned when Jasper started tickling him.
“Stop it! I’m not jealous! The fuck, I’m straighter than my dick for God fucking sake!”
That only made Jasper laugh harder. He lunged at his brother, and within seconds, they were wrestling like children while Sky tried to shove him away.
“I said stop it! Goddamn it,” he barked sternly and threw Jasper with force to the side with such ease.
Sky stood up and collected his things from the floor where he had thrown them earlier.
“Go to sleep,” he commanded seriously and left the room.
He was mad. He got mad easily.
Nevertheless, Sky was a very tough man, one of the toughest people Jasper knew.
Although he might be intimidating to most people, even terrifying, Jasper knew better than anyone who his brother truly was.
Sky had practically raised him. He was oftentimes difficult to understand and did not want him to get involved with his business, but his brother was still the person that he looked up to.
Jasper cared for him so much. He knew that he cared and was very protective of him, too.
That was why, whenever he could, Jasper tried to make him smile, because it was very rare to see Sky smile.
Jasper remembered the first day, way back in sixth grade, when someone bullied him, calling him gay, and it reached his brother.
Sky was ferocious and beat the kid nearly to death.
From that day forward, no one dared to bully Jasper again, and the boy eventually transferred to another school.
My brother was suspended from school for two weeks at that time and nearly got expelled.
Starting that day as well, Jasper got more reserved, more closeted.
Sky would do everything just for him. They had already survived so much together, especially after their father died five years ago due to a cardiovascular condition, and their mother became ill with cancer, now staying with their aunt in another state for treatment.
Their mother left a day before their sixth-grade graduation, and ever since, they have had only each other.
People might define his brother as bad or evil, but he was the bravest, most genuine, and most loving person Jasper had ever known. He did not know how to live this cruel life without him.