10
The road was empty. Streetlights and porches from typical colonial and Cape Cod houses illuminated the suburbs. A few of the crickets sang softly in the distance, and the sound of the cold breeze only disturbed the tranquility of the area. After all, it was quarter to four in the morning.
Wearing a black hoodie jacket, a pair of grey sweatpants, and a pair of black Adidas sneakers, Sky decided to go out for a run.
Maybe this was all he needed for now. He could not fucking sleep, and his brain kept on disturbing him for no damn reason.
Even if he was a little bit woozy, he could not get himself to sleep due to a lot of things running through his head.
As he was running, his mind drifted back to the scenario that had happened yesterday at the party. That fag was learning to drink, and he could not even contain it.
Who told him to drink? And why the hell did he even think of drinking in the first place?
Who gave him permission, out of his innocent fucking face, to drink in front of me?
Those questions stayed in his mind since yesterday, to the point that he barely slept.
He even needed to carry him because he could not hold himself when people were staring and ogling at his posture, and the way he dressed drove him mad.
Sky wanted to scold him or punch him right away to bring him back to his senses and tell him to go back to his shell and never come out.
It was the first time he had ever been that furious, his patience pushed to its absolute limit, and no matter how hard he tried to control himself, he felt completely helpless.
When he carried him, he did not mind what people would think.
He was so light, thin, and vulnerable. He kept on moving and whining in his grasp, but he was like a little puppy that could not move a huge wolf. A little twink and a bear.
The contact of his skin touching his bare arms and the feel of his small cock under his Doraemon boxer rubbed against his shoulder instantly washed his sanity away.
Bullshit! He tried to wash away the negative thoughts at the back of his mind that kept on haunting him these past twenty-four hours and decided to take a little rest as he sat on the huge broken mahogany beside Guio-ang Street.
His legs felt weak under the weight of his thoughts, and sweat drenched his skin despite the cold air.
After the late-night conversation with his little brother, his chances of getting any sleep grew slimmer, and he could not understand why. His brother’s gay, but that was totally fine with him. But going out with Jude was totally not fine with him.
Not with Jude. Not with that faggot. Thinking about what had happened at the party made his chest tighten with a strange, peculiar feeling.
He was completely aware yesterday that he had drunk quite a few glasses of alcohol, but he was not wasted.
His body was tolerant of those liquids. However, he could not deny that the more than twenty shots of liquor affected him a little.
But he was ninety-five percent sober as fuck.
Sober enough to the point where he could still vividly remember those words that little faggot had thrown at him before he finally dozed off to sleep.
Why are you doing this to me? Sky sighed in frustration, gritting his teeth as he ran a hand through his hair in defeat.
Just as he remembered, he rummaged through his pocket for a pack of methamphetamine that he kept just in case things happened, and the threatening temptation quickly drooled over him.
He felt like these past days were so fucked up.
Things had gotten worse than ever. They needed to solve the problem of Julius first before dealing with this odd feeling recurring in his heart.
This feeling had been there for the past five years, but he knew he had to put an end to it.
He would never allow it to grow any further.
If hurting him was the only way to stop it, then he would do whatever it took, even if it hurt him too.
Even if the pain tore through him three times harder.
A few months from now, they would be graduating from senior high school, and they would be having their different lives and paths to take.
Sky was not into medical courses, and he had no plans to go to college.
The thought of not being able to keep his eyes on him anymore put him in hell.
The endless possibilities and “what ifs” felt like they were driving him mad.
Fuck it! You’re just a little drunk, Sky. He reminded himself.
Without thinking clearly, he reached for the packet of methamphetamine in his pocket and used the substance. Within minutes, the weakness faded, replaced by a fleeting sense of relief and euphoria.
***
Two of the school’s most outstanding students would be having their little gay date today.
Some people might find it cute, but for Sky, it was something bothersome and gross.
He watched as his brother pulled out of the parking area using his truck that Sunday afternoon, well-dressed up, and pretending to be a firm top.
He was going out with the fag, and he did not even get jealous a bit, in all honesty, because he knew his brother so well.
Why the fuck would I even think of getting jealous of my brother over that nerdy faggot?
He blinked and sighed heavily. Just in time, a beep from Kevin’s Raptor snapped him out of his thoughts.
He detached himself from the wall of his house and strode towards the car with his normal big strides.
Sucking on the last one, he threw the cigarette before getting into the passenger seat of the car.
“Wazzuup, dude?” Kevin said his greeting.
Kevin threw a glance at Sky, and then they pulled off.
Sky did not bother saying anything back.
Slumping his back against the seat, he wrapped his hands around the headrest and watched the trees and houses fade in view as they passed by.
He was wearing a loose gray tank top, with his bare armpits exposed, and a black cap.
On the bottom, he wore a pair of worn-out, patched, ripped denim blue jeans and a pair of black slippers.
Sky tried to relax, but his brain would not cooperate.
“So, your brother’s going out on a date with the nerdy fag, huh?” Kevin asked a couple of minutes later, his mouth tipped up wryly.
“Shut up.”
Anger suddenly flared up in Sky for no apparent reason, causing Kevin to stop. He knew Sky well enough that even a single glare from him was enough to make him falter.
“Okay…Chill, man,” he apologized.
Sky was not in the fucking mood today.
The rest of the ride was spent in a heavy, profound silence, with Sky lost in thought. It looked as though the weight of the world rested entirely on his shoulders.
“So, what are you going to do with Julius? I still have no contact with him.” Kevin broke the silence the moment they arrived.
“He knew the rules. He’s not a kid anymore.” Sky responded coldly and got out of the car.
Sky took another stick of cigarettes from his pocket and lit it right away.
“What if he ran away?” Kevin asked, keeping his pace behind Sky.
Sky’s steps were normally long, so Kevin had to run practically.
Sky did not answer his question, and the silence between them re-emerged.
Not long after, the house of Julius appeared in view.
Their house sat in the middle of vast cornfields, with neighbors a kilometer apart.
Sky doubled his trance while clenching and unclenching his fist occasionally in his left pocket.
His mind stayed fixed on Julius’s negligence, the frustration lingering in him. He deserved a beating.
“Fuck, these shits.” Sky cursed under his breath when some leaves of the corn blocked his way and hit his face.
The house seemed so quiet. He listened very carefully, even from a distance, observing for any sound of movement inside, but there was nothing. He knocked loudly on the door, and a child screamed afterward, likely startled awake from a nightmare by the sudden sound.
“What the hell! Wait motherfucker!” Rain cursed at the top of her lungs, Julius’s live-in partner.
“Easy, man,” Kevin whispered.
Sky threw the half-consumed cigarette and spat a ball of saliva beside the porch steps. His patience was running out very badly, and the sound of the baby crying skyrocketed his irritation.
“What?!” Rain shouted as she opened the door a few minutes later, only to freeze when she saw them.
“Sky…” she murmured under her breath, still holding a crying three-year-old Alex sideways in her arms, the child’s sobs refusing to stop.
Sky looked at the baby, and Alex stared at him; her crying suddenly stopped, studying Sky Granger as if he were an animated character, or, plainly, she thought of Peppa Pig.
There were droplets of tears on her pink, chubby cheeks, and Rain wiped them using her bare hand, gently bouncing the baby in her arms in an attempt to keep her from crying.
Sky took his gaze away and shifted to Rain.
I hate babies. Sky said in his mind.
“Where’s Julius?” he asked, trying not to release a firm voice or sound angry, but it always ended up in his usual tone.
“I’m supposed to ask you that. Where the hell is he? He’s not been home for three days!” she started raising her voice, but worry dominated her expression. “Alex is already running out of formula and diapers, for fuck sake.”
Sky glanced at Kevin, who was as quick as a shadow, already searching inside the house, and Kevin looked at him in failure. Sky looked back at Rain and scanned for any hint of lies on her face to see if she was hiding something, but he saw that she was telling the truth.
Fuck!
Without answering her, he turned his back on her and retreated to the car. Kevin, behind him, secretly slipped some cash and handed it to Rain.
“Hey! Sky! Where the hell is Julius?” Rain shouted, but he did not bother to look back or answer her.
Alex began crying once again.
“Goddamn it! Don’t tell me he ran away. We are screwed up! What are we going to do?” Kevin asked in panic as he hurried after Sky.
“Will you shut the fuck up?! We won’t get screwed if no one talks.” Sky said in annoyance, practically out of control.
“How could I shut up, dude? We are his friends. Whether we like it or not, we are involved with all of this. Well, we hope Julius will not incriminate us. Even if he knew the rules, he couldn’t just take all the blame on himself.” He said it while gasping, his voice filled with worry.
Sky’s blood boiled instantly, his vision seeming to darken with fury.
“So, were you saying I was part of his fucking crime?” Sky stopped walking and grabbed the collar of his shirt. “Was that what you were trying to convey?”
Sky’s glare was keen enough to feel like daggers, catching Kevin completely off guard and leaving him tongue-tied.
“Fucking, bullshit! We all know the very first rule of the organization. Do I still have to state it for you?!” Sky seethed, trying his best not to rip his throat out.
Kevin looked terrified as he realized what he was saying. He tightly held his collar, closing the space until he choked him out of breath, before he harshly let go of him. He coughed so hard that his face turned red, including his ears and neck.
“Damn, Julius!” Kevin cursed out of frustration.
Kevin was running out of breath, gasping for air as he kicked the pebble angrily. Although Sky was in a rage, he was still a bit worried about what the motherfucker Julius did, and the days Sky let him wander should end.
Damn son of a bitch!