27. Twenty-Seven
”Shaye!” I shout. ”Shaye, stay with me!” Her eyes close and I know I”ll lose her if I don”t get her to the cabin.
I rip my jacket off and wrap it around her, before scooping her into my arms and following the frozen river upstream to where the village is, and subsequently our cabin. She”s shivering against my chest and her lips are turning a dangerous shade of blue. I quicken my pace, going as fast as my feet will allow. I need to get her out of these wet clothes and warm her up before her body completely shuts down from the shock.
Unfortunately, the cabin will be freezing since no one has been there for almost a year, but I can provide her with some clothes I left there to warm her up and fight frostbite.
Her light groan spurs me to hustle.
”Stay with me, Shaye,” I mutter, kissing her icy forehead.
I can”t help but feel guilty that she is in this position because she saved me. Had she not done what she did, I might have been severely injured or worse, killed. The Ongok”s blow to my chest stole my breath, and even now my ribs scream in anguish. Finn will be able to help with what I”m assuming are bruised ribs, but I try not to dwell on my pain. Shaye needs me to be calm, to be clear-headed, and to make it to Haverness.
By the time we make it to the sleepy lakeside village, it”s so late that I”m able to get to our cabin without delay from the locals. I kick open the door and spear up the stairs to the loft bedroom. It”s a small place that our family uses once in a while, but I can”t remember the last time all five of us were here at the same time. It”s hands down my favorite place to escape to when I need time to myself. It”s quiet, remote, and peaceful, and I don”t have to worry about anyone but myself. I”ll be up here for a week at a time, fishing, attempting to cook, painting, and most importantly, resting.
On the other side of the lake, you can see the city of Elowen and the famed ice castle, which would typically be an enviable view, but all I see when I look at the city is danger. Something isn”t sitting well with me about this trip, but I can”t focus on that right now. I make it to the loft bedroom where an enormous, quilted bed, two nightstands and a dresser are, which connects to the only bathroom.
I”m obviously not as knowledgeable in medical practices as Finn, but I was trained in how to care for someone who has hypothermia whilst going on camping trips with my friends. The two things I need to do is get her out of her wet clothes and raise her temperature by applying warm compresses to her head, neck, chest, and groin area. She”s not unconscious, but she”s groggy, meaning I don”t have much time left.
I place her on the tiled bathroom floor and turn on the hot water, hoping the steam will heat the small space quickly. I grab several washcloths and throw them in the tub to soak in warm water and turn my focus to her wet clothing. I pat her cheek several times. ”Wake up, Shaye, wake up. I need you to stay with me. We”re at the cabin and I need to get you out of those wet clothes.”
She stirs, but her eyes are still closed, and her words are muffled.
”Shaye, I need you to listen to me carefully. Are you listening?”
She bobs her head, and I”m relieved she”s responding. ”I”m… I”m… fr-fre-freezing.”
”I know.” I clasp her hand in mine and shiver at the frozen contact. ”We”re at the cabin but our horses ran off with all of our supplies. I have some spare clothes you can wear here, but we”ll need to get you out of those wet clothes and warm you up.”
That seems to sober her up. Her eyes shoot open just enough for her to narrow her gaze at me.
I stomp by her, dig through the top dresser drawer and pull out one of my long shirts and a pair of socks. I thought I”d left pants here, but evidently not. Anything at this point is better than nothing. We have plenty of quilts and blankets in the cabin that will make up for the lack of trousers.
Back in the bathroom, I close the door to allow the steam to fill the space and reach for her. She recoils and growls through chattering teeth, ”No.”
”Quit being stubborn and let me help you out of these clothes.” I furrow my brow. ”You”ll catch your death, if you don”t warm up.”
”I”ll d-d-do it m-m-myself.”
”Don”t expend what little energy you have left trying to disrobe.” I grab her hand and squeeze, hoping some of my body heat will transfer to her. ”You need what strength you have to fight the cold. Please, let me help you out of those clothes.”
She chuckles darkly, her bottom lip quivering, ”That”s one way to see me naked.”
”Shaye, this isn”t a joke! We need to warm you up – ”
”F-f-fine!” she cuts me off with a hiss.
”Fine?” I repeat, making sure I have the go-ahead to claw her out of those wet clothes.
”Yes,” she confirms. ”H- h- help m-me.”
With reverence and extra care, I slip my jacket from her shoulders before peeling her own jacket off. Within a few minutes, I”ve unknotted her leather, corsair corset, and taken her pants, shirt, socks and boots off. All that is left are her bra and panties which I”m tempted to remove, but refrain. She can keep her modesty and still start to warm up.
I snatch the washcloths I had tossed in the tub and squeeze the excess water out before neatly folding them into rectangles and placing them strategically over her forehead, neck, stomach, and two on the inside of her upper thighs, as close to her groin as possible. Over the next thirty minutes, I replace the used washcloths with new, hotter ones, until her pale, frozen skin turns rosy, only leaving her for a few of those minutes to ignite the fireplace downstairs to heat the rest of the cabin. She looks as if life is breathed back into her, and I finally exhale a sigh of relief. She”s going to be alright; I don”t have to worry anymore.
She shifts on the floor, and I realize she must be uncomfortable. I offer to help her to the bed so she can rest, and she readily accepts. Her legs are weak, wobbling from the stiffness of the cold, so I scoop her into my arms and carry her into the loft. Thankfully, the fire has heated the cabin, so when I lay her on the bed, she isn”t shivering.
I take a step away from her but seeing her lying on the bed I sleep on when I stay here, all I can think about is being tangled up with her all night. I shake those selfish thoughts free, deciding to give her space to get dressed and make her some hot tea.
”Here,” I hand her my shirt and socks. ”I”ll go downstairs and make us some tea. I”m sorry, I don”t have any pants here, but the shirt is long enough to… and the socks…” I clear my throat. Why am I getting tongue-tied around her? That”s never been a problem for me before. I dart toward the wooden staircase, ready to give her some much-needed privacy, but stop when she cries out, ”Wait!”
I whip around to see a sheepish look smeared across her rosy cheeks. ”Can you unhook me? My arms are sore and I…” Her gaze falls to her feet and if her face hadn”t already been red from the steam, I”d assume she was embarrassed for asking me to help her out of her bra. ”I need help,” she says softly, still not daring to look up at me.
My breathing hitches but I fight to keep my expression neutral as she shivers before me. She looks so small, feeble, and helpless, but I know her better than that now. She”s fierce and powerful, and it”s not lost on me that the only reason she fell through that ice was because she took the brunt of the blow to save me.
I make my way toward her and say, ”Turn around.”
She finally dares a glance my way, and my heart begins to pound. Secretly, selfishly, I hope she”s blushing because she”s sharing the same lustful thoughts as me. Slowly, she turns her back to me and I tentatively raise my hands to the tiny hooks of her bralette and inhale deeply, hoping and praying she doesn”t sense my nerves. I”ve undressed women before, but those encounters never felt this intimate. Never felt this dangerous.
She twitches the moment my fingers graze her.
”Sorry,” she whispers, looking at me from over her shoulder.
What I wouldn”t give to have her the way I wanted to – to have her curled in my arms, to stroke my fingers through her hair and kiss every inch of her soft skin. This woman may very well be my undoing.
”Tell me if I”m too rough,” I start unhooking each loop.
”I”m learning you could never be too rough with me, Atlas.” The way she says my name makes my mouth dry.
It”s agonizing; slowly undressing the woman who has consumed my thoughts since the moment I first laid eyes on her. She”s not mine, but she could be. I”m trying to do the right thing by not confusing her by making the first move, but I”m afraid I might lose her to another man. Every bit of me wants to claim her, to make her forget Bastian ever existed. If she was anyone else, I wouldn”t have ended our encounter in my room a few weeks ago. Seeing her on her knees before me is a sight I won”t easily or readily forget. Imagining what it would feel like to have her pretty mouth around my –
”Finished,” I take several steps away from her the second her back is exposed. ”I”ll get the tea started. If you need anything, let me know.”
”Thank you.” She faces me, her hands pressed against the front of her bra.
This is one of those moments I wish I could slip into the shadows and disappear. How is it that I can”t even seem to think straight when just in her presence? I need to get myself together. I feel vulnerable, practically naked standing before her with those grey eyes –
Gold. Gold eyes.
I meet her gaze. ”Happy or angry?”
”What?”
”Whatever you”re thinking about me.”
She takes note of her glowing hands before refocusing her undivided attention on me. Her throat bobs as she swallows. Oh, the things I”d do to that beautiful neck, if given the chance.
”Happy.” Her voice is raspy and dripping with desire. ”And sad.”
Well, now I”m thoroughly confused. ”Tell me why you”re sad.”
She opens her mouth slightly, but she must have rethought her response because she remains tight-lipped, allowing a small smile to stretch across her face. ”I suppose I”ll get dressed and meet you downstairs?”
”Right,” I nod, bumping into the railing behind me. I swivel and trot down the creaky wooden stairs. The ground level is composed of one large room where the living room, dining room and kitchen are combined. There”s a leather couch and two armchairs set on a bear skin rug facing the crackling fireplace. Above the stone mantel is one of my earliest paintings of the view of Elowen from across the lake. There”s a scratched up wooden dining table just beyond the sitting area with six scuffed up chairs. We”ve had that set since I was a child and my mother, although liking the finer things in life, can”t bring herself to part with it due to nostalgia. The kitchen is humble, with just one straight line of cabinets and a butcherblock counter resting on top. There are floating shelves with white mugs, dishes and pots situated on the wall with a window over the sink. It”s not much, but I”ve always loved this place.
I was excited for Shaye to see it, but under the circumstances, I”m just glad she”s alive.
It”s doubtful the others will make it to the cabin tonight. They”ll do their best to stay as far away from this place as possible to ensure they don”t unwittingly lead any of Vesper”s crew to the village, but I trust they”ll be here by morning like we agreed. Part of me worries that something went wrong and one of them is injured or lost, but I can”t nurture those thoughts. It won”t do any good to worry about something I have no control over.
Instead, I busy myself by filling a decades old tea kettle with water and placing it on one of two burners and wait. I tidy the few books on the shelf by the dining table and grab several quilts out of the only linen closet, laying them on the bear skin rug in front of the fireplace. The tea kettle finally sings, and I fix two mugs of black tea with a bit of honey. Letting them steep, I am so lost in my thoughts that I don”t hear her come down the stairs, even though each one creaks when you step on it.
”This is cozy.” Her voice breaks my concentration, spurring me to turn around.
My eyes widen when I see her standing on the bottom step with nothing but my long, black button-up shirt and my socks that come up just past her calves. Her wet hair is loose and flows to her hips. I have to tear my eyes from her because my shirt is leaving very little to my imagination of what she looks like underneath.
I clear my throat, ”Tea?”
She nods and walks to meet me in the living room. Passing off the mug, and instead of sitting beside her on the couch, I set my tea on the mantel and stoke the fire.
”It”s warmer down here,” she says, clearly to fill the awkward silence.
”It will take a while before the room upstairs heats up,” I acknowledge, willing myself not to think of her naked in my bed. ”I thought we could sit in front of the fireplace to keep warm.” I motion toward the quilts.
”We?” she quirks an eyebrow and sips from her mug.
”You”re still shivering.” I point out, noticing her knees knocking together. ”You need body heat.”
For a second, she just stares at me, but then she sets her tea on the end table beside her and slowly slips to the rug, pulling one of the blankets over her bare legs. ”Alright,” she nods, motioning for me to join her. ”We”ll sit in front of the fireplace. For body heat.”
I swallow one last gulp of tea before taking my shirt off and sitting behind her, stretching my legs along either side of hers. She fits so perfectly here. I take a shuddering breath and snake my arms around her front to hold her. I ask, ”Is this okay?”
”Yes,” she replies in a barely there whisper.
Several quiet minutes pass by with us cuddled together listening to the crackling of the dancing fire. I open my mouth several times to break the silence, but it takes me a moment to muster the courage to address what”s really bothering me.
”You could have died tonight.”
She tenses in my arms but makes no effort to escape me. ”But I didn”t.”
”I need you to promise you won”t endanger yourself for me anymore,” I say softly against her cheek.
”Atlas – ”
”Please, Shaye,” I cut her off with my broken plea, burying my forehead against the back of her shoulder. ”Please. I couldn”t bear it if you died trying to save me.”
She doesn”t say anything for a long while and I”m about to give up hope of her responding at all, when she finally says, ”I would never be able to live with myself, if I made that promise.”
”Shaye – ”
My protests die on the tip of my tongue when she grabs the hand that”s been absentmindedly swirling circles on her stomach. She gently brushes her fingers across my knuckles and whispers, ”I wish I knew what you were thinking right now.”
I refrain from telling her exactly what is on my mind, concerned it might frighten her. ”I”m glad you”re safe.”
”And now the truth.”
There is no going back from this. If I tell her what I”m really feeling, truly thinking, I might ruin any chance of being with her. But I”m tired of keeping everything bottled up, especially when tomorrow isn”t promised. So, I admit, ”I”m fighting the urge to kiss you; to run my fingers through your hair and lick over every inch of your body.”
”Why fight it?” Her response surprises me.
”You”re promised to another and as much as I hate it, I will respect it.”
”I have no intention of marrying Bastian.”
My heart pounds. This is the first time she”s said it with such certainty. ”What?”
”You can ask the others.” She turns her head slightly, so our eyes can meet. ”I told them weeks ago that I”m not honoring that engagement. So, if you want me, claim me.”
I stew in silence a moment, before I drag my hand down from her stomach to her outer thigh and caress it. I kiss her neck and pull the fabric of her shirt off her shoulder to plant a kiss there too. She closes her eyes and moans lightly, giving me the final push I need to take the leap.
”Tell me to stop.” I give her an out.
”Don”t stop.”
I slide my hand underneath her shirt and glide my fingers upward until I find her breast. She hisses when I tug her nipple.
”Tell me to stop,” I whisper, nipping at her earlobe.
”Don”t stop.” She melts in my arms.
I press my chest into her back, leaving a trail of kisses from behind her ear down her neck and over her shoulder. Pulling and gently twisting her pebbled nipple, I earn a breathy groan from her. When she pushes her backside against my hardened length, she sets something ablaze within me, giving me the courage to lower my hand to the waistband of her panties.
”I”ve wanted to touch you for such a long time.” I murmur against her ear, igniting goosebumps along her flesh. My fingers graze her core, and she gasps softly.
”Tell me to stop.”
”Don”t stop,” she commands, and I obey.
I dip my hand lower, pushing past her panties, and shudder when I feel how wet she is for me. Softly, I rub small circles against the sensitive bundle of nerves at her apex. She sucks in a breath, dropping the back of her head against me.
Pressing my lips to her neck, I whisper, ”Is this what you wanted?”
I get my answer when she starts grinding against my fingers, craving more contact. I hum against her skin with a smirk. ”Greedy tonight, aren”t we?” Before she can sass me in response, I bite her shoulder and say, ”I don”t mind,” before plunging a finger inside of her. I pump rhythmically a few times before adding a second finger. Her breathing is rapid, and her moans grow louder as she starts to ride my fingers.
”That”s it,” I praise.
She reaches behind, trying to feel my length, but I stop her from fully twisting around. ”I want to feel you,” she whimpers.
”Not tonight.”
”Please,” she begs and my cock twitches.
I grab a fistful of her hair and gently tug her head back until she”s once again resting against my shoulder. I kiss her throat and she shudders from the contact. ”You will feel me another night, Princess.”
”But – ”
”Tonight, I will make you come screaming my name.”
I slip out from behind her and lay her on the rug, keeping my fingers deep inside of her. I hover above her, watching her eyes roll back with each thrust of my fingers. With my free hand, I unbutton the shirt she”s wearing and groan when I expose her breasts. I dip down, taking one of her nipples in my mouth and suck. My cock twitches when she moans my name and I feel the slickness of her dripping down my hand.
I pull back and watch her breasts bounce as I plunge my fingers in and out of her faster. She arches her back, her breathing fragmented. I”ve fantasied about doing this to her for weeks. Dreamed of what she looks like naked with my hand inside her. Knowing I can illicit such a pleasurable response from her has me questioning my resolve not to fuck her tonight, but I”ve waited a long time to touch her, and I won”t be rushed in one night. No, I”ll take my time with her. Take my time exploring her body before I claim her with my cock.
”Atlas,” she moans, and I know she”s close.
”Look at me,” I say, drawing her hooded eyes. ”I want to watch you come.”
She reaches up and pulls me down, slamming her lips against mine. I love how her tongue slips inside my mouth, deepening our kiss. If I”m not careful, she”ll make me come without laying a single finger on me.
”Atlas!” She cries out, and I feel her pulsate around my fingers.
I press my lips to her forehead, letting her ride out her pleasure. Her thighs tremble as I pull my hand from between her legs and her eyes widen when I slip my fingers in my mouth to taste her.
”I”ve been wanting to do that longer than I care to admit,” I confess with a wicked smirk.
Her eyes grow hazy, and I can see the desire to have my cock buried deep inside her flare. She reaches for my pants, but I grab her wrist and shake my head.
”You would deny me the opportunity to return the favor?”
”Like I said before,” I plop down beside her and kiss her. ”You will have me another night,” I whisper against her lips. ”I won”t rush everything I want to do with you in one night.”
”Does that mean there will be other nights like this?”
”As long as you allow it.”
She arches a playful brow and says, ”Oh, I”ll allow it.” She slithers her hand down my scarred chest until she reaches my belt and tugs at the buckle. ”Maybe you”ll allow me to – .”
”Sleep, Strenlys,” I snake my arm around her and pull her against my chest. ”Sleep.”