Chapter 2
My eyes darted around, taking in my new surroundings.
The room I was in looked like the one I’d come from, except that it was ten times bigger and filled with rows and rows of platforms like the one I lay on.
As I watched, a body materialized on the one to my right, hazy edges filling in until suddenly it solidified.
People in sharply tailored green and tan tunics and dresses wove their way through the room, stopping to steady people on the platforms as they came to their senses.
I caught sight of a gold pin on someone’s lapel, a set of scales on top of a pomegranate, Death’s symbol.
A shaky breath left my lips and my shoulders sagged. I’d arrived in the In Between.
My skin was clammy with sweat as my breathing slowed, and my limbs twitched and trembled like I’d run for miles, making me grateful I was sitting.
I scanned the room again, looking for familiar faces, but I didn’t see either of the others from my convent.
Someone with a stack of papers walked by, shaking their head at the two empty platforms to my left as they crossed two things off their list. Names.
I shivered, realizing that I was the only one who’d made it.
Another two candles would be added to the altar in the chapel back home.
I blinked back tears. They didn’t deserve that fate.
It should have been me that was lost, not them.
My chest ached. I could still feel where whatever it was had hooked into me. Whether it was a normal part of the transfer, I didn’t know. The sisters had given us some idea of what to expect, but they hadn’t mentioned that. Or the man I’d seen.
Wrapping my arms around myself, I wondered who he was.
Was he here in the In Between? My eyes skated over the people around me, looking for his face, but I didn’t see him.
I shook my head. If he was in the In Between, our paths would cross at some point.
What mattered now was that I had arrived and could put my plan to atone into action. Except, I felt like death warmed over.
Everything hurt, and it felt like I’d left the contents of my stomach back in the World of the Living. All I wanted to do was lie down and close my eyes until I felt normal again.
“There you are. I’ve got you.” A woman threw a blanket over my shoulders and stroked my back in soothing circles. “You made it. You’re okay.” Her touch was so unexpected, I met her gaze without thinking. A woman with blue eyes, a pointed chin and short blond hair looked back at me.
Too late, I braced for a vision. Except none came. I stared into her eyes, waiting for it, but all I saw were the flecks of gray in her irises. Her expression was warm, welcoming. Overwhelming.
Blinking, I shifted my gaze to the woman putting a stack of clothing on the end of my platform. Her golden skin, brown eyes and dark hair shone beneath the balls of light hovering overhead. She gave me a small smile, but that was all I saw. Not how she had died.
Hope surged and my eyes darted to three others, looking, searching.
Nothing. No visions. Either I had been right—there was no death to see since everyone here was already dead—or my curse had gone dormant.
Perhaps it would rear its ugly head in a new and terrifying way when I least expected it.
It would be no more than I deserved. I clenched my teeth to stop from imagining the worst. There was no point in worrying.
It was gone, for now. I needed all my focus to navigate my new surroundings.
“Was your transition rough?” The blonde was still rubbing my back. “Mine was.” Her voice trembled.
“Yes.” I clutched at the blanket, torn between wanting to jerk away from her and lean into her touch.
It was soothing. I didn’t trust it. My eyes dropped, catching on her other hand holding her own blanket closed.
Underneath she was naked, as I was. I checked the end of her platform and saw a stack of clothes waiting.
“Why aren’t you dressed? You’re shivering. ”
“I wanted to make sure you were okay.” Her hand left my back as she pulled her blanket more tightly around her, but she didn’t budge from my side.
I took a closer look at her face, her features pale and drawn, and frowned.
“I’m fine. I just need a minute.” I jerked my head at her clothes. “Get dressed. You look like you’re about to fall over.”
“So do you,” she shot back. “I’ll get dressed when you do.” Her chin jutted out in a way that reminded me of my brother, and I knew there would be no arguing with her. Ignoring the way my heart squeezed at the similarities, I got to my feet.
The top of her head only reached my chin so that I towered over her. I wasn’t that tall, just medium height, but she was very short and tiny. My generous proportions made her look like a bird in comparison. Still, she didn’t move or back down until I moved towards my pile of clothing.
It had been years since someone had made sure I was okay. It was… nice. And unnerving. I didn’t deserve it.
I looked down at my body as I bent to pick up the white shirt on top of the pile and let out a soft gasp.
All the scars I had accumulated over the years, the recent cut on my palm, were gone.
Rolling my shoulder, I realized the skin on my back no longer pulled awkwardly in places.
The sisters had told us this would happen, but it was unsettling to see.
My skin was unblemished, like my past had been erased. If only it were that easy.
I felt different, too, in subtle ways. I knew my body was no longer human, even if it looked like I was.
Blood no longer flowed in my veins. They were now filled with the essence of my soul.
I could feel it in my pulse. It felt brighter somehow.
My stomach growled, and I realized I hadn’t eaten anything since the night before.
Hunger and fatigue told me I would still need to eat and rest, but I also knew I wouldn’t physically age.
I would always look twenty-four, for the rest of my existence.
I shivered, wondering how long it would take to get used to.
Unfolding a pair of tan pants, a stiff green tunic, underwear and socks, I started to dress.
Most of the platforms were full by now and attendants walked up and down the aisles, checking on people. One of them eyed the diminutive blonde next to me appreciatively as she let her blanket fall to the floor so she could tug on her clothes.
“Hey, no gawking,” I said. “She’s trying to get dressed, not put on a show.” He glowered at me but moved off. Some things never changed.
“Thanks,” my neighbor said, a look of surprise on her face as she pulled up her pants.
“Of course.” Shirt and tunic on, I reached for my pants. A bit of a thrill went through me. I’d never worn a pair before.
“I’m Bea, from Resthaven, in the South. You?”
“Maeve. I’m from Fournemouth.” Fastening my waistband, I looked down at my clothes.
The pants were form-fitting just like the tunic and shirt, confining my curves, much like the restrictive dresses I’d worn growing up.
With sharp shoulders and tailoring, gold buttons and embroidery, it reminded me of paintings I’d seen of military uniforms. The neckline and cuffs of the tunic were embroidered in gold thread, a repeating design of pomegranates and scales, and the fabrics felt like ones I’d worn before, but finer and more ethereal, behaving in ways that at times seemed to defy the laws of nature I was used to.
I grimaced, missing the ascetic lifestyle of the convent.
“Fournemouth’s in the North, right?” Bea asked. “Where the largest temple is?”
“Church. We don’t call it a temple.” I laced up tall leather boots.
“Oh, I guess that’s a southern thing. You came from a convent though, right?”
“Yes.”
“Nice to know we all came from the same kind of place. Did you join knowing you wanted to come here?” Bea shrugged on her tunic. It was perfectly proportioned to her small frame.
“Yes.”
“Me, too. The chance to help souls along on their journey—there’s nothing more sacred than that. Though I don’t think I really believed I’d be chosen, you know?”
I gave her a tight smile and nod. We might have all come from a convent of the Order of Death, but how we joined was not the same. It sounded like she’d chosen her path freely, from a place of altruism. I hadn’t.
Once we were dressed, we followed the crowd leaving the room.
As we moved into a hallway, whispers made me turn my head.
The corridor to my right ended in an ornate archway and a staircase leading down.
I felt the urge to investigate, but the people around me blocked the way and the whispers faded into nothing, making me wonder if I’d imagined them.
Bea tugged my arm, and I turned in the opposite direction, walking by her side.
It was a good thing I stayed close to her. She was so busy staring at our surroundings that she kept bumping into people, until I hooked my arm through hers to anchor her to my side. She gave me a grateful smile that I had to look away from. The way she smiled so easily was disconcerting.
At the other end of the hallway, we ascended two flights of wide stone stairs. My jaw dropped further with every step.
The walls were shimmering mirrors, clouded with age.
Some were clear enough to see our reflections.
I saw my familiar face—green eyes wide with wonder, sharp nose, and auburn hair.
Others were too frosted to make out much detail beyond the vague shape of a person, and in a few the reflection lingered after someone had passed by. Unease coiled in my stomach.
To distract myself, I looked around, taking in the other details of the place.
Balls of light hovered above us, and torches with pink flames lined the staircases we climbed, giving everything a warm glow.
The next hallway we entered had niches every ten feet with full-length statues of Death in white marble, like the ones in the convent I’d come from. Each one had a slightly different pose.
“Why so many?” Bea asked in a low voice. Her creased brow matched my own.
“I don’t know. It’s not as if there’s a question of whose castle this is.”
“It’s weird, right?”
“Yeah.” My laugh was shaky.
“There aren’t any windows,” Bea said.
I’d been too distracted by the otherworldly walls to notice. Oddly, the lack of them didn’t bother me. “I wonder what the outside of the castle looks like, or if we’ll ever see it.”
“That’ll take some getting used to,” Bea said pointing to the seam between the wall and the floor.
A swirling black substance connected the two, shadows that moved and glittered every now and then.
The brightness of the walls had overshadowed it.
When I looked closer, I realized the shadows lined every seam—between the wall and ceiling, and at every corner.
Like the place was being held together by darkness which pulsed and roiled, as if the castle was alive and breathing.
Like it could shift or change at any moment, even though nothing did.
People around me flinched away from it, unease rolling off of them, but I felt drawn to it.
My fingers itched to reach out and touch the inky black, wanting to feel the texture and weight of it, but Bea pulled me away before I could give in to the reckless impulse. I tucked my hands under my elbows so I wouldn’t be tempted again.
The group made a right turn and arrived at an arched double doorway that led into the top of an indoor amphitheater. Wide tiers with stone benches led down to a low platform in the middle.
“Is this everyone?” Bea whispered to me.
The Amphitheater was only a third full, less than I expected given the number of souls that passed through the In Between. “Maybe this is only some of them.” My brow furrowed.
Around two hundred people milled around, all wearing green and tan with the symbol of Death pinned to their chests, just like the people escorting us. I scanned the room for the man from my vision, but I didn’t see him.
“Who is she?” Bea asked, nodding to a woman standing at the front next to a low platform.
She had straight, shoulder-length black hair and wore the same uniform as everyone else, with a cream-colored sash across her chest and a larger, more elaborate pin at the shoulder.
She scanned the crowd with an inscrutable expression on her face that reminded me of a hawk.
There was no way to tell what she was thinking. It was unnerving.
“Must be someone important,” I said, avoiding her gaze.
We were directed to an empty section at the bottom of the room. As we filed in, I noticed no one was sitting.
Then, a hush fell over the crowd as white mist formed on the platform and power filled the room. Death was coming. I straightened as my pulse fluttered in my throat. Everything else faded into the background. There was only her: the goddess I had come to serve. My atonement could finally begin.