Chapter 35 #2
Anxiety tried to find a foothold in my chest as my mind whirled, but I was too tired to hold onto it and my thoughts slowed.
There was no way to know what Death knew or didn’t.
Bea knew the risk she was taking when she volunteered for the position.
Besides, it wasn’t my problem anymore. “If the salamanders have limited awareness, how are you talking to me now?”
“I think she didn’t take as much from me as she did the others because I was the first, and then she regretted it, because I refused to go anywhere near her after my transformation.
The next salamander that appeared couldn’t or wouldn’t talk to me.
None of them do.” She sounded sad. If what she said was true, that meant she’d been unable to talk to anyone for a hundred years.
“How do they communicate with Death then?”
“From what I can tell, she’s the only one they communicate with.” She made a movement that might have been a shrug.
“Then how would they be a danger to me? I tried to get their attention and they all ignored me. It was like I wasn’t even there.” I blinked, my eyelids feeling heavy. The exhaustion I’d been holding off was too heavy to ignore much longer.
“That’s because they don’t expect you to show up in the fire network, so they didn’t look closely. They probably thought you were me. If you keep trying, they’ll notice that you’re new, and different. Best to stay away from them.”
I bobbed my head once, and my eyes closed of their own volition. Forcing them open, I saw Sasha’s tongue flick out.
“Stay here as long as you need to,” she said. “I’m going to do some reconnaissance. I’ll be back when you wake up.”
I almost argued with her. There was more we should talk about, and part of me worried about being left alone, but the rest of me was too tired to argue. Curling up on the warm rock, I tucked in my tail, closed my eyes, and fell straight to sleep.
* * *
True to her word, Sasha was sitting next to me when I woke up. The sky overhead was deep blue with stars that winked every so often. I had no idea how long I’d been asleep, but I felt tired and listless. I felt like I could sleep for days.
“Feeling any better?” Sasha asked.
“Not really.” I stood and stretched for a moment, but everything hurt, as if my emotional pain had spilled into my physical body. Settling back down, I tried to soak in the warmth of the rock beneath me. “How was your…”
“Reconnaissance? Interesting. Everyone knows you’re missing. Well, everyone in Fen’s castle, and Death and Talia.”
I bristled at her familiar use of his name before I could stop myself. He’d betrayed me. I shouldn’t care that she knew him before I did. That phantom pull in my chest surfaced for a moment.
Sasha’s head cocked to the side, watching me stiffen. “Fen and I were never together. He was only the Devil’s Successor for a few weeks before he ascended and I turned into this.”
“It wouldn’t matter if you were.” I brushed it off, but the tension I’d been carrying eased a bit.
Her head bobbed. I wasn’t sure she believed me, but she returned to our previous conversation. “Tempters are searching the whole castle for you.” She paused as if to give me a chance to explain.
It was the last thing I wanted to talk about.
“What happened?” she asked.
I sighed internally. She’d probably piece together what happened, if she hadn’t already. Much as I didn’t want to tell her, it sat heavily on my chest. I’d always felt better after talking to Bea, or Titus. So, I told her.
“Wow. That’s… a lot. No wonder you ran.” The understanding in her voice loosened something inside of me. “Take all the time you need before you go back.”
Her suggestion made me recoil. “I can’t go back.
Not after what happened. I can’t be the next Death.
Besides, even if I wanted to, my magic is gone.
I’m no longer Death’s Successor. They’ll have to get someone else.
” My thoughts had a hysterical edge to them, but I didn’t care.
The idea of going back made me tremble like a leaf.
Sasha shifted, her tongue flicking out a few times, as if she was trying to figure out what to say. “I don’t think that’s how it works,” she said finally.
“I don’t care. I’m done.”
If she was put off by my vehemence she didn’t show it. “It’s okay, Maeve. You’ve been through a lot. Right now, all you need to do is rest. You can stay here as long as you want.”
Her soothing tone mollified me somewhat, but in truth my outburst had exhausted me. I was too tired to argue. Laying my head on the ground, I closed my eyes and fell back asleep.
* * *
I slept on and off for days, losing count of how many times the sky shifted from night to day and back again. At first, I barely moved from my spot on the warm rock, only stirring enough to eat the small piles of breadcrumbs Sasha left next to me or to move to the edge of the water to drink.
Sasha came and went, but I barely saw her.
My exhaustion was bone deep, and it was far easier to lose myself in the oblivion of sleep than to sit alone with my thoughts.
I didn’t dream, just floated through a sea of warm darkness with the occasional whisper of something I couldn’t make out.
It was a voice, one that was familiar. Even though I didn’t know what it was saying, the fact that it was there was comforting.
One day, I woke feeling more rested than I had, at least in body. Despite my desire to go back to sleep, I couldn’t. Feeling restless, I explored the area.
The hot spring was hemmed in by trees and large boulders, with no exit other than the fire burning on one side. It made sense since it was a cell, but I quickly grew tired of my peaceful surroundings.
“You can explore the fire network,” Sasha said the next time I saw her. “Just don’t linger in any one place too long, and don’t try to talk to the other salamanders. Act like they do so you blend in.”
I spent the next few days doing exactly that.
At first, traversing the main room made me nervous.
I did my best to mimic the steady gait of the salamanders I passed, and the way they crossed confidently from fire to fire, but it was difficult.
I had no idea where I was going and was terrified of losing my way and not getting back to the hot springs.
Slowly, I got my bearings and started to enjoy exploring the castles.
I stayed away from the fires that led to the World of the Living, put off by their energy.
There was plenty to investigate in the In Between.
Many of the rooms I visited were unoccupied—offices or bedrooms. The rest usually had one person reading, working, or sleeping.
It was rather boring, actually. The Dungeon cells held souls in various states.
I avoided the ones where the souls were in distress.
Thankfully, I didn’t run across Colt again.
My favorites were the ones I stumbled on with multiple people in them.
Listening to conversations or watching people interact was fascinating, though there were some activities I refused to witness.
The people in both castles were an amorous bunch, so I lost count of the number of times I entered a room only to hear a moan and turn right back around to leave.
Sasha laughed when I told her about all the couples, and groups, I’d stumbled on after my first day of exploring. “Something about being beyond death makes most people really horny.”
We spent the next few evenings swapping stories of what we’d seen and heard.
Her imitations made me laugh, which felt almost unbearably good.
Neither of us ventured anywhere near my recent history.
Sasha seemed happy just having someone to talk to.
Sitting with her on the warm rocks beside the bubbling hot spring, I could almost forget about what I’d left behind.
As I passed back through a fire into the main room the next day, I wished she was with me. Being surrounded by silent salamanders who ignored me was lonely. My chest ached as I thought about her. I couldn’t imagine being in her place. I’d have gone mad within a year.
Choosing a fire at random, I crossed to the other side of the room and climbed up three levels.
It had taken me a while to get used to the way my toes gripped enough to let me walk up walls, but I barely thought about it anymore.
I scuttled through the fire and paused on the pile of logs, taking in the room in front of me.
It looked familiar in a way that sent a shiver through me.
All the dormitories in Death’s castle looked the same—mirror walls, green velvet drapes, two beds.
This one was empty. One side of the room was clearly occupied, with clothing, books, and papers strewn about.
The other side was not only devoid of possessions, it was so neat that it looked like it had been barely touched.
I turned to go, but the door opened and a familiar voice made me freeze.
“Let me know if you see them,” Bea called as she entered.