12. Kayori
Chapter Twelve
KAYORI
Three Weeks Later…
Istood in the mirror with tears flowing freely down my face.
I often did this, some days I was okay with what stared back at me.
I would have my days like today where I would be stuck in the past. Things I couldn’t change but would love to try if I could.
I tried my hardest to embrace the scars and problems that came along with my health.
Today would be my first day starting my new job and I battled with showing up as myself or wearing make-up.
I sometimes liked to prevent people from asking me questions like “What happened to your face?” some would even assume I was getting beat by a man at home.
I also did not want to go with make-up, because I would have lazy days.
I didn’t like putting that shit on every day.
It took time and patience with make-up, most days I liked to get up and just go.
Using a hot face towel, I wiped my face and talked to myself out loud.
“You’re beautiful.”
I desperately needed to believe it, I had been trying practices to embrace and love myself more and more on a day-to-day basis.
That did not mean it could possibly happen overnight.
My iPhone alerted me that I had a text message.
Without looking at it, I knew exactly who it was.
He had been relentless on the number of messages and calls he sent every single day since the day I let him cum all inside of me.
That man: You can run, but you can’t hide… If you don’t respond, you gon’ force me to come get you soon Ms. Juicy.
I blushed hard, I wanted Praise just as bad as he wanted me.
I hadn’t had a man to look at the raw me and get turned on as hard as Praise did.
When he fucked me in missionary, he kissed every scar that graced my face.
He looked at me passionately, like he wanted all of me outside of sex.
He matched my sex drive and took me to heights I didn’t know I could reach.
Even before the three years of going without sex.
I was never always pleased, men would feel intimated by my aggressive nature and run.
Men also couldn’t hang and go round for round.
Praise kept up, every time I threw it back at him, he matched my same energy.
In fact, he forced me to tap out. That was indeed a first. Since that night, I found myself gushing and having orgasms just thinking about what he did to me.
The way he touched me, licked me, and catered to every ounce of me.
He had me feeling things I was afraid of.
Praise made me realize that I was attractive in every way possible.
I could see past my scars, but some days I couldn’t.
I also had to keep asking myself why me?
What was it about me that made Praise want me so bad?
Praise was perfect looking in every aspect.
His aura was so powerful and matched his confidence, which turned me on even more.
A man like Praise couldn’t be held down by one woman, he had to have multiple.
His sex game was lethal, so I understood why his baby momma was so crazy about him.
A man like Praise came with problems, fights, and drama.
He also had something deeper about himself that I wanted to know more about.
I just couldn’t organize my thoughts well enough to figure out how to go about things with him.
I was used to guys like Brian, nice and nerdy but looked good.
Hood niggas didn’t take things past fucking me from the back so they didn’t have to look me in the face. Praise was in a league of his own.
“In here thinking about Beast’s sexy ass ain't you?”
Meshalay stood at the bathroom door with a bright pretty smile on her face. She was glowing, which made my eyebrows go up. I decided not to tease her about it, her weight gain was also picking up. She ate weird shit too, which let me know she was indeed pregnant.
“Don’t start all that Beast talk this morning Lay. I’m thinking about my first day of work.”
Rolling her eyes, she walked all the way into the bathroom and motioned for me to take a seat on the toilet.
I already knew the drill so I turn towards the bathtub to allow her to come up behind me and style my hair.
Meshalay was a pro when it came to hair, she was the reason my hair had grown so healthy and long.
She picked up the comb and started combing and doing whatever style that I knew I would be pleased with, in the end.
“I really just want to see you happy Kay, like for real girl. You deserve that shit. I know Beast’s not the type of man you would want to date or be in a long-term relationship with but damn girl just have some fun.”
That was just like my best friend to desperately want to see me happy.
She gathered all my hair and used two rubber bands to pull it into a high ponytail.
I remained silent while I thought about what she was saying.
She plugged up the flat iron and waited for it to get hot while she drummed her manicured nails on the bathroom sink.
“I guess I’ll have a little fun with him.”
I stated lowly as she smiled big and gave me a big kiss on the forehead causing me to cringe and look at her like she was crazy.
“Girllll shut the fuck up! We both got dick-sucking lips now! So don’t even!”
She did my baby hair real slick and cute. We talked about her grand opening that was going to take place next week. I was overly excited for her.
“You’re going to be an auntie and a godmother Kay.”
She looked nervous to tell me. I gave her a reassuring smile. I passed no judgment on Meshalay and Stone. He made her happy. He was here every night. She didn’t come to me crying about him with no females. If she was happy that made me happy. Everybody had to live their lives.
“I’m so happy for you and excited at the same damn time!”
I hopped up and embraced her tight as tears start cascading down her pretty face.
“I’m just happy you’re not mad.”
She looked at me sincerely and I shook my head at her silly ass.
“Lay you know you have my support; Stone is not some dog ass nigga. He treats you good and caters to you. I am happy you finally found a man that gives you no drama. To top it off, he invests in his woman! Got you being a businesswoman owning your own shit! You winning baby!”
I pumped her up.
“I just wish we could be carrying our babies at the same time. You know that was our dream when we were younger.”
“Keyword, when we were younger. I can barely take care of myself right now. I’m just starting to save my coins so I can be out of you and Stone’s way.”
She frowned and start looking at me like I was crazy now.
“Now Kay, you know I want you here for however long. Stone has no say so. This is my place. I’m the one that begged you to come and live here so we can roommate.”
“I hear you Lay, all I am saying is I got to be on my own soon. I didn’t think I would like Vegas but now I do.
I want to save for a couple of more months then get me a nice little apartment or condo complex.
You and Stone are creating a unity, a family, you need your privacy.
That don’t mean I’m going to be far away, I just need to have my own.
You have done so much for me since the passing of my mom and brother.
It's time I do more for myself. You’re really the only family I have as well.
I don’t fuck with my mom's side of the family like that. So you know you can’t get rid of me Lay. ”
A person like Meshalay, you had to reassure.
She always wanted to please people and see everyone happy.
I loved her to death but it was time for me to spread my wings.
I missed living on my own and having my own privacy.
I was also tired of hearing her and Stone fuck every night.
They never missed a night, hell, they even fucked throughout the day.
I was a writer and not the type that listened to music as I wrote.
I sat in nothing but silence and let my mind do the talking.
I even cleaned up a certain way and my decorating was way different than Lay’s.
It did not feel like this was my house. Even the house, that was passed down to me didn’t feel like mine.
It was my mother’s house, I only kept up with it because I was too afraid to lose the only thing that reminded me so much of her.
I didn’t realize until coming out here to Vegas, that it was healthy for me to create a good distance from my mom's house.
Every day I was suffocated with painful memories of her as well as my brother.
Although I was still mourning them, it felt like I could think better and heal more from the loss of them.
My words were even starting to flow when I would write.
That told me all I needed to know. I needed a fresh start.
I wrapped up my conversation with Lay, then picked out my navy-blue blazer set to wear for my first day.
It made me feel sexy and sophisticated. I didn’t want to look to ghetto exposing my chest tattoos at work, although I knew Brian wouldn’t mind.
I kept it classy and found a black silk dress top.
My shape looked profound; I slipped my feet into my all-black Coach sandals.
Grabbed the matching Coach purse and shades and made my way to the door.
I might have not been rich, but I could dress my ass off.
It was always my dream, to be able to work a job where I could dress up and look pretty.
When I got inside of my car, I sat there for a while letting it warm up.
I looked at myself in the mirror again while I added my Victoria's Secret lip gloss to my plump lips.
Now I felt beautiful, I was so up and down with myself, I needed to get a grip over that.
Checking my phone one last time, I saw that it was Praise again texting.