30. Devious Dalliances
Devious Dalliances
Cerise
Inodded along as the woman, Doctor Fiona Thatcher, continued her story. She was incredibly kind, her bubbly voice filled with enthusiasm as she explained some of her past work.
I tried to focus, but with everything going on I could hardly deign to listen. The pieces I was able to gather from the conversation hinted at work in botany, but she had taken time off and was currently in between jobs.
I took another sip of my mother’s abysmal drink and tried to hide my wince. Horrid. She actually liked this?
My heart hadn’t slowed since the moment I stepped into the ballroom. With the combination of mentally preparing for my mother’s quips, having to sit next to Ambrose at dinner, and seeing Liam, I was an absolute wreck inside. A tempestuous storm of emotion and worry that I tried—and failed—to tame.
My companion finished her story and was pulled in a different direction by another colleague. I said my goodbyes and inhaled a deep breath.
Looking around for Emberly, I scanned the ballroom, but I froze, every muscle in my body going taut.
There he was. Staring at me as if in his own trance.
Liam.
You’re friends, Cerise. Don’t forget that. Just. Friends.
Right. Except for the fact that the last time I saw this ‘friend’ I’d had the best sex of my entire life.
Oh gods, he’s coming this way.
His expression was intense as he strode forward with purpose, not breaking eye contact for a second. My breath caught. He was devastatingly handsome in his three piece suit and deep green vest.
It had to be a sin to be that sexy.
I brushed a hand down my waist, smoothing my dress as he stopped a mere two feet from me.
“Doctor Thornheart,” he said.
I swallowed, trying to compose myself. “Doctor Pendragon.” My voice came out rough despite my efforts.
He looked around as if he was checking to see if anyone was watching us, then turned back to me and leaned in. “You look astonishingly sexy. Are you trying to kill me wearing that dress, sunshine?”
I tried to hide my shiver as his lips brushed my ear. He pulled back, a small smirk on his face.
“Well, you look nice too,” I replied, trying my hardest to keep to my friendship declaration. “How have you been? How is work?”
He tilted his head. “Oh, we’re back to that now?”
“Back to what?”
“Your professional mask.”
I chewed my lip, unsure what to say. I took a sip of drink and winced again before answering. He seemed to notice my reaction but didn’t comment on it. “Well, we are at a work event.”
“Hmm…” He nodded thoughtfully. “All right, then. I’ll play along. My work? It’s excellent. I’m enjoying being back with my students, but the rest is boring. I miss going on adventures with a certain uptight colleague. You?”
I miss you too, I desperately wanted to say.
But I didn’t. I couldn’t.
“I’m glad to hear you’re enjoying your students. They’re lucky to have you.”
“You didn’t answer my question. What about you? How are you?”
I heard the unspoken words in his tone. Not how was my work, but how was I doing emotionally.
“I’m fine. I have a grant proposal I’m working on. I’ve been busy with that in addition to teaching my classes. It’s good to be back in a routine.”
“Is it?” His eyes bored into my very soul. As if he could see every lie, every falsehood.
“Yes, I—”
Someone clinked their glass, the crowd quieting. “If everyone could make their way to their assigned seats. Dinner will begin shortly. Followed by our keynote address and awards presentations.”
The crowd began to shuffle toward their tables, the volume rising again. I turned to walk away, but Liam appeared next to me, his hand brushing my bare shoulder and sending a shiver down my spine.
“Where are you sitting?” he whispered. “Sit with me.”
“That’s not a good idea. There’s a seating chart.”
“Fuck the seating chart. I’ll switch out the cards.”
I paused and looked at him, nausea churning in my gut. “Please,” I implored. “This is my mother’s whole thing. I have to get through this night with as little conflict as possible. Please, Liam.”
His expression softened, his green eyes kind. “All right, then. Hopefully I’ll talk to you later.”
“I’d like that.” I walked away and set my drink down at my assigned seat.
People were taking their sweet time to claim their seats, so I rushed out of the ballroom and searched for an empty hallway to catch my breath.
Leaning my head against the wall, I closed my eyes and tried to will the impending tears away.
This was too much. Every single stressor in my life was in the same room.
Something bad was bound to happen. I wanted to escape.
Wanted to run away. I wished the earth would swallow me whole.
“Cerise?” someone called my name.
I opened my eyes to see Rosamund approaching, her auburn hair pinned up with a few loose curls brushing her shoulders. “Cerise, honey, are you all right?”
“You shouldn’t ask me that or I might cry,” I said, trying to crack a smile.
She took my hands in hers, looking up at me. “What’s wrong? You know you can tell me.”
“I can’t do this.”
“Do what?”
“Be here. With him.”
“Who? Ambrose?” she asked.
“No…Liam. But also Ambrose. And my mother…Oh gods this is going to be the worst night ever.”
Rosamund squeezed my hands. “All right, listen. Here’s what you’re going to do. Avoid Ambrose. Avoid your mother as much as you can. And avoid Liam…if that’s what you want…”
“That’s not what I want.”
Her eyes held warmth as she regarded me. “I know. You just needed to admit it to yourself. Okay, well avoid the other two.”
I shook my head. “Ambrose is seated next to me.”
“Shit.”
“My mother did it on purpose. She’s trying to push us back together.”
“That bitch. Do you want me to accidentally spill my drink on her?”
I gasped. But then I started laughing. “She really is a bitch, isn’t she?”
“Yes, CeCe. She is. She always has been. Get through dinner the best you can. Stay long enough to watch Emberly receive her award, then sneak out and leave.”
“Leave? Early?”
“Yes, that’s what I just said.”
“I can’t do that!”
The murmurs died down in the ballroom, someone beginning to speak on stage.
“We have to go,” Rosamund said. “Just think about it.” She squeezed my hand one last time and hurried away.
I took a deep breath, steeled myself, and headed back to the ballroom.
An elderly man was on stage, going over tonight’s program. Most everyone else was already seated. Head held high, I strode toward my table, heels clicking as I went. Yes, I was late. No, I was not going to cower because of it.
I found my empty chair in between Ambrose and some distant colleague. My mother sat across from me, glaring daggers at me before turning to listen to the speaker.
I crossed my legs under the table and reached for my drink, but it was gone. Sitting in its place was a beer. I looked up, scanning the room for Liam. He was seated two tables away, facing me.
I raised my brows and subtly nodded toward the beer. He smiled and lifted his own in a cheers motion before taking a sip.
My heart did a somersault in my chest as I smiled back. He’d done this. Noticed I hated the cocktail and remembered how much I loved that beer he had on the expedition. It was even the same exact type.
Ambrose leaned over, breaking my trance with Liam. “Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you all night.”
I tensed at his tone, turning toward my ex. His black hair was perfectly styled, a contrast to his pale skin and steel-blue eyes. His presence took up space around me, and suddenly I felt very small.
“I’ve been busy,” I said, feigning confidence, then took a swig of beer.
“Why are you drinking that?” His eyes narrowed.
“Because I like it. Now shh…you’ll interrupt the speaker.”
I turned away and tried to focus on whatever this man was saying. Something about dinner being served, then my mother would speak during dessert, then the awards presentation. So on and so forth.
But I couldn’t focus because I had Ambrose to my left, my mother across from me, and Liam a couple of tables away, who kept surreptitiously stealing glances at me, obviously ignoring the speaker.
The man finished and dinner was promptly brought out. Now I had to deal with whatever horrific conversation was about to occur without the excuse of a presentation to listen to.
I speared a potato with my fork and ate a bite. Though I was starving, my stomach was wound so tightly in knots, I was afraid I’d be able to eat very little.
“Do you not like my drink, dear?” my mother said across the table.
Here we go. “Oh. No, I liked it. I just finished mine and decided to have something different after. It was a little strong and I didn’t want to have too much. It would be…unprofessional.”
Her eyes widened slightly before she regained her composure. “Well, all right then. Ambrose here has been looking forward to seeing you. Why don’t you tell him about your grant proposal?”
My mother turned and began a conversation with the man next to her, the rest of the table in their own discussions.
“Grant proposal?” Ambrose asked, his blue eyes piercing.
I didn’t want to tell him about it. I didn’t want to talk to him at all. I ate another potato, chewing slowly to avoid answering as long as possible, then turned to face him.
“Yes. I’ll be presenting it in a couple of weeks.” I went on to explain what I was working on. I could tell he feigned interest, nodding along as his eyes repeatedly dipped to my pushed up breasts.
Was tonight over yet?
Ambrose leaned in and said, “Speaking of proposals, I have one for you.”
I eyed him warily.
“I miss you.” A subtle hand moved to my shoulder and a finger trailed down my neck. Bile burned at the back of my throat. “I’ve given you space the last few months, but I want you back. I miss this. I miss us.”
I leaned away. “Get your hands off me,” I hissed. He pulled back. “I was very clear when I ended things. It’s over. I do not want to be in a relationship with you.”
He rolled his eyes like my feelings were an inconvenience. “Oh, stop it Cerise. You don’t know what you want.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”