40. Liz
Chapter Forty
LIZ
I knew it. I should’ve never gotten involved in this rouse.
Deep down, I knew this was too good to be true.
Tears stream down my face as I bolt from him.
Even in this giant house, it feels like there’s nowhere to hide.
So I head for the terrace. The cool air hits my face, nearly freezing my tears.
I fold my arms to warm myself and glance around the dark garden.
Just yesterday, we were all out here having the time of our lives.
Or maybe it was just me. Kent could go so far as to produce snow for me, but he can’t come clean to his dad? I’m probably going to lose it all. Including Kent. I can tell by the way he reacted that he doesn’t care about me the way I care about him.
The only thing that really matters to him is his precious promotion.
I feel so stupid. How could I let another guy weasel his way in just to let me down?
Just to abandon me? I look down at the ring on my finger.
A ring that was never mine to begin with.
Why did I allow myself to think for even one second that it could be?
“Liz?” Leo’s voice calls behind me.
I quickly wipe my face and sniff back my tears. “Hey. What are you doing out here?”
“Just getting some fresh air. What are you doing out here?” he asks.
“Same.”
He stands next to me and makes a face. “Are you . . . are you crying?”
I scoff. “No.” I lie, wishing I could keep lying to everyone about everything, including myself. But as I look into my big brother’s eyes, I can’t do it anymore. My chin trembles, and a moment later, I break down sobbing.
Leo puts his hands on my shoulders. “Liz, what happened?”
I swipe hot tears off my cheeks. “This whole thing is a mess. Kent’s dad is pulling my deal, and I don’t think Kent will do anything about it.”
Leo lets out a heavy but angry sigh. “Do you want me to talk to him?”
I shake my head. “No, that’ll just make it worse.”
“Then let’s go home. We can leave tonight,” Leo says.
“No, I can’t do that. I promised I would stay until New Year’s.”
“And he promised to take care of your business. If he’s not going to hold up his end, then why should you have to hold up yours?” Leo’s right. If Kent won’t fix this now, then how can I expect him to make good on his end?
Part of me wants to go home back to San Francisco and pretend none of this ever happened. Then maybe, by some stroke of luck, I’ll be able to stay in business long enough to figure something out. I made it this far without an investor. Maybe I can do it on my own.
But then there’s another part of me that knows if I leave then there’s no going back. Whatever’s happening between Kent and I will be done. Over. Part of the reason I came here was to have a fling but now I want so much more than that.
I drop my head in my hands and sob like a little girl. “I don’t know what to do.”
Leo wraps his big-brother arms around me and pats my back. “I know it feels like the world is ending right now, but it’s not. I promise it’s not. But this guy took advantage of you.”
I lift my head to look at my brother. I need him to know that Kent’s not the only one to blame. “He’s not the only one.”
“I’m sure you had your reasons, but now there’s nothing here for you.”
I consider, for a moment, telling Leo about my feelings for Kent. But I remind myself that, at present, they’re one-sided. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s time to go home.”
“I’ll book us on the first flight out in the morning,” Leo says. “Just go pack your things.”
“He’ll try to talk me out of it.” And if I stare at the freckle in his blue eyes too long, I’ll let him talk me out of it.
“So don’t give him the chance,” Leo says. “We’ll sneak away before dawn.”
Here I am, caught between a twenty-carat rock and a hard place.
If I go, there’s a good chance Kent will lose everything too.
As pissed and hurt as I am, I don’t want that.
I want him to get the promotion. I know what it means to him.
But I won’t do it at my expense. “That feels so cunning,” I say, wishing for a different solution.
“Liz, wake up. He’s a liar and a coward. You’re better off without him.
Leo’s words sting more than the chilly air on my wet cheeks. But I can’t argue. I already let another man break my heart. I can’t let it happen again.
Leo and I agree to meet in the middle of the night.
I quickly get back to my room. My heart races and my hands tremble as I pack my things.
Somehow, I managed to get my luggage over to Leo’s room without anyone noticing.
All I have to do is wait for the right time and sneak out.
Still, I hate this. I don’t want to run away but I can’t stay and fight if Kent won’t. I wish there were another way.
It’s nearly midnight when Kent returns to the room. I’m in bed, lights out, eyes closed, and faking sleep. I’ve gotten pretty good at faking it.
“Liz, are you awake?” he whispers and softly brushes my arm.
I open my eyes, facing away from him. If only I could curl in his arms and fall asleep to the sound of his breath. “Did you talk to your dad?”
He’s quiet for a moment, then he answers, “No.”
“Are you going to?” I ask.
“No. I’m sure this is our best shot. I’ll get you the money. I promise.”
“You’ve said. But . . . maybe it’s not just about money anymore.”
“What do you mean?
I roll over to face him, thankful we’re under the cover of darkness.
“This past week—” I start but cut myself off.
Telling him how I feel at this moment is even scarier than the prospect of losing SOLIDS.
But if I don’t do it right now, I’ll always wonder.
So I keep going despite my pounding heart.
“It wasn’t what I expected. You’re more than my venture capitalist or fake fiancé or my friend’s brother-in-law. ”
“So what am I?” he asks.
“I don’t know but I guess what I’m trying to say is that maybe we could be more than just business partners.”
He lays his head on the pillow next to me and lightly runs his finger along my chin. “I was thinking the same thing.”
My stomach flips with excitement and validation, knowing it’s not all in my head. But if I’m going to be with him, he needs to man up. He needs to be my man. “Then, if we’re going to do this, we need to come clean for both our sakes.”
Kent presses his forehead to mine and takes my hand. He breathes out a heavy sigh and the sweet excitement in my gut goes sour. “Liz, I can’t. I’m sorry. I have feelings for you too, but we need to see this through. Everyone already thinks we’re together. Please try to understand.”
I roll onto my back, feeling like a total idiot.
The only thing I understand is that he’s a liar and a coward.
This is exactly what happened with my ex, Jeff.
He could never see the big picture. He only saw his little piece of it.
And here I am, lying in the dark next to this man, thinking he was different. Thinking I was different.
But the only thing that’s changed is that I feel like I’m losing so much more, and Kent doesn’t get it. I’ve lost the will to fight with him. To fight for him. Why should I when he won’t do the same for me? Leo’s right. It’s time to go home.
I lie awake until three in the morning, crying silently to myself. Kent breathes deeply in and out. He’s asleep. I sit up and look back at him. I hate this. I hate that I’m leaving. But more than that, I hate that he can’t give me a reason to stay.
We played a good game, but he’s not playing for keeps.
I look down at the engagement ring on my finger, the one that fits my finger perfectly.
I told him that if this deal went south, it would be my insurance policy.
And I thought about it. But this is his family heirloom, and it doesn’t feel right to take it even if he owes me big time.
It really is a beautiful ring. And maybe under different circumstances, it could’ve been mine. Maybe he could’ve been mine. I pull at the diamond for the first time since he put it on my finger. With a little tug, it comes right off. I set it down gently on the nightstand and wish it farewell.
Carefully, I rise from the bed, pick up my shoes, and tiptop to the door. I place my hand on the knob, then look back at Kent, sleeping soundly. I argue with myself in my mind for a moment—go, don’t go. But then I hear his words so clearly again—I’m sorry. I can’t.
So I whisper the same. “I’m sorry. I can’t.” And with that, I walk away and quietly close the door.
Leo waits for me in the foyer, dressed in his coat with our suitcases in tow.
“Did you get a cab?” I ask.
“Right outside. Are you ready?”
I look back at the grand staircase, wishing there was a way I could stay. But like Leo said, there’s nothing here for me. There never was. “Yeah.”
Just as Leo reaches for the front door, we hear steps behind us. Uh-oh, maybe Kent heard me leave, and he’s come to stop me. I turn around. It’s not Kent but Kate standing behind me in her pajamas, holding a sketchpad.
“Liz?” she says.
“Kate, what are you doing up?” I ask, feeling my pulse begin to quicken.
“I got inspired, so I stayed up to sketch. Why do you have your luggage?”
I chew on my lip wanting to keep up this charade but what’s the point? Maybe Kent won’t come clean but that doesn’t mean I can’t. “I’m leaving.”
“Why? What happened?” Kate asks.
I finally step forward, facing my good and honest friend. I just hope I don’t lose her too. “Because I don’t belong here.”
“Of course you do.” Kate reaches for my hand and quickly notices there’s something missing. “Where’s your ring?”
“I gave it back.”
“You’re breaking off the engagement?”
“There never was an engagement. It was all for show so Kent could get his promotion.”
She knits her brow. “Wait, what? You’re not together?”
I shake my head, lowering my eyes. “No. I’m sorry I lied to you. And to Beau.”
“I don’t understand. Why would you do that?”
“I know how it sounds, but he made me an unbelievable offer. Bonnaire Capital was going to give me twenty million in funds and pay my company’s debts. SOLIDS has been hanging on by a thread since the last VC went under. You know what that’s like. I had to do it. But I can’t anymore.”
“But I really thought you and Kent were in love.”
“No. It wasn’t real. Or maybe it was but it wasn’t enough.” I fold my arms to my chest as if protecting my heart from the cold, hard truth.
“Liz, we have to go,” Leo alerts me and opens the door.
I look up at my disappointed friend. “I’m so sorry, Kate. I never meant to hurt you or anyone. That’s why I have to go. Please, just don’t tell Dean. Kent needs to tell the truth on his own. I’m hoping he still will.”
Kate lowers her eyes and I’m sure I’ve lost her forever too. Maybe I deserve that. After a moment of her silence, I take it as my cue to head for the door.
“Liz, wait,” Kate calls, and I turn back. She walks over and wraps her arms around me. “I get it. I was just looking forward to being sisters-in-law.”
“I know. I would’ve liked that too.”