Jamison
Iwas used to holding my expression in a tight grip. I could play along better than most people, but I’d be lying if I said I understood why Sadie was pretending we were strangers. We worked together, had drinks together, and spent some of the best nights of my life together.
For fuck’s sake, I had texted her last night.
I knew her.
June was commenting on how happy she was that I was there and that the four of us could finally hang out while we moved slowly toward the doors leading toward The Bronte building, where I would be staying.
“It’s gonna make such a difference having you and Sadie here—”
“Hey, I think I left my room key at the front desk,” I interrupted making a show of padding my joggers’ pockets like my keycard wasn’t right under my right hand. “You go find Mike, and I’ll meet up with you after a shower.”
She shrugged. “That’s cool. I’ll let him know you’re here. You’re a lifesaver, as always.”
“As always,” I joked, but there was some truth to her comment.
Our roles were clear in my family, and it was my job to put out every fire and be the voice of logic.
A job that was getting less taxing with my brother being a responsible adult and my mom getting more comfortable as a widow.
“Don’t tell my mom I’m here yet. I’ll find her as soon as I’m cleaned up. ”
“I won’t, but you’re gonna want to hurry, she has her ways.”
I moved through the lobby, my eyes trained on Sadie.
Her dark brown hair hung in a messy braid ending just below her shoulder blades.
Leggings stretched across her thighs, but her ass was hidden by a loose-fitting black T-shirt.
It hadn’t been that long since those legs had been wrapped around me. And yet, she pretended not to know me.
Maybe her family was more conservative?
It wasn’t like I was going to introduce her to my mom as my friend with benefits, but how were we supposed to pretend we didn’t know one another?
And why?
The smile Sadie gave to the woman behind the counter was tight, so unlike the one I was used to seeing. It disappeared entirely when she spotted me.
I leaned an elbow on the counter, angling my body toward her. “So, why are we acting like strangers? Is this a role playing thing?”
Rolling her eyes, she turned to watch the attendant, a middle aged woman with her blond hair pulled into a ponytail, grab a hotel pamphlet. “Apparently, I don’t know you, Gene.”
“I told you, only my family calls me that. I go by my middle name.”
“Your family, like your brother that you never mentioned, who is marrying my sister?”
“I’m sure I mentioned him.”
“You did not.”
“How are you so positive?”
“I asked—” She shut her mouth so hard her teeth clicked. “I just am.”
I ran a hand across my lips. She still wouldn’t look at me, not really.
Instead, she kept me in her peripheral vision, like I was a specter and direct eye contact would invoke me.
I wasn’t used to this energy from Sadie.
She’d been quiet in the past couple of months when I’d text, but it wasn’t unlike us to go months without talking.
I’d assumed she was just busy, but judging by everything, I should have read a lot more into the silence.
And just like every other time I didn’t know what to say, all I could think about was some random fact that might spark conversation. “Did you know, this place is supposedly haunted?”
She drew in a slow breath through her nose and breathed it out. “I did.”
There was a beat of silence before the attendant handed Sadie an envelope with her keys and described the way to her room and the amenities the resort provided. The whole time Sadie continued to pretend that I didn’t exist.
“Thank you,” she said to the clerk. She went to lift the handle of her suitcase to hand over to the bellhop who grabbed her two smaller bags, but I had already picked it up and placed it on the trolley.
“I got it,” I offered, surprised by how much heavier it was than mine.
She sighed and glared up at me for a beat, and it looked physically painful for her to swallow whatever it was she wanted to say.
For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what I’d done wrong.
If she’d talk to me about whatever was going on, we could probably figure out a way to make it right.
Underneath my confusion, irritation was starting to bubble to the surface, along with another feeling I couldn’t quite place. But it didn’t feel good.
People disliking me didn’t generally bother me. I often rubbed people the wrong way, but Sadie hating me was like expecting a grape only to bite into an olive.
I hated olives.
“Whatever,” she said taking steps for a door to the front porch.
I followed her, quickening my pace to walk at her side. My emotions were quickly losing out to irritation.
“How are we going to do this?” I asked, my tone less easy than it had been. “Isn’t it going to be obvious that we work together?”
“No one cares about my work. It won’t come up.”
“Are you serious? My family will bring it up.”
She came to a stop at the top of the stairs.
Whisps of hair brushed across her cheeks as she turned to face me.
We were close enough that she had to tilt her head back, and her soft floral smell drifted on the wind.
“Well, your family probably thinks it’s cool that you’re an environmental lawyer, but mine doesn’t care that I’m a business administrator. ”
“When you say it like that it doesn’t cover the full scope of what you do.”
“It will not be a problem.” Adjusting the straps of her backpack, she set her weight to one leg pushing her hip out. “I just want to go to my room, and I’ll see you when I see you. It’ll be no big deal.”
I jerked my head to the large building at the end of the island lining the rocky shoreline. “We’re both in The Bronte.”
She turned on her heel almost hitting me with her overstuffed backpack, mumbling, “You have got to be shitting me.”
“What the hell is the deal?” I asked, following her down the front stairs.
“We wouldn’t be in this mess if you would talk about yourself even a little bit,” she said, looking straight ahead, ignoring that I was at her side.
“What mess are we in, exactly? Your sister and my brother have been talking about wanting the four of us to hang out for . . . months? Years? I don’t know, a long time.”
“Are you this oblivious?” She stopped again, this time standing so close to me that her breasts brushed my chest when she breathed in.
Between that and the angry purse of her lips, I was even more off balance.
I was once again blindsided by her, but this time it was in a way I was used to.
The round curve of her cheek, the crystal-like blue of her eyes lined in dark eyelashes, and the full pout of her lips completely disarmed me.
I swallowed, my jaw set. “Apparently. Why don’t you explain it to me?”
“How would you explain our . . . involvement?”
“We’re work colleagues.”
“And when there are follow-up questions?”
“We’ll answer them?”
She huffed—it was less adorable than usual. “You know what, I just don’t want to tell them.”
I shifted the leather strap of my duffle bag and gestured for her to keep walking.
I waited until she was eight feet or so in front of me before continuing down the walk to our building.
She held her head high and her shoulders back as she marched ahead.
She was clearly trying to avoid me, and the idea of being around her was not very appealing to me either.
Around us, other guests strolled by or gathered on the patio seating in the different areas of the courtyard. The waves crashing on the rocky shore grew louder as we got closer to our building.
Finally, she entered our building a few moments before I did.
I almost bumped into her as she stood a few feet inside looking around to figure out which way she should go, but I sidestepped to the elevator remembering the directions the front desk had given me.
I entered the car and pushed the button for the top floor.
The doors were sliding closed when she put her hand between them and walked in as if I had zero effect on her.
She lifted her finger to push a button before it fell back to her side hitting her leg with a slap.
“Same floor,” I observed.
“Yup,” she said adding a few syllables and ending with a popping P sound.
I yawned, covering my mouth with my fist—a few seconds later Sadie did the same. I almost launched into an explanation about how yawns were contagious because of empathy. But it was very much not the right time.
Or maybe she was just as tired as I was.
The exhaustion was deep. Something heavier than just physical.
Something even if I found words to explain, I wouldn’t be able to tell anyone.
Just a weight I wore on my shoulders at all times.
It was probably my brother’s wedding that made it feel heavier.
It probably had nothing to do with Sadie.
Or the fact, when I first saw her I’d felt something like relief only to have a new, even more uncomfortable and more confusing, pressure land on my chest.
It wasn’t anything I couldn’t tolerate.
We walked side-by-side and completely alone to the end of the hall. Olive green wainscotting lined the bottom half of the walls with a paisley patterned wallpaper on the top half of the wall and carpet. It was a bit dark and intense, like a Bronte novel.
Sadie stopped at the door just before mine.
Her exterior wall would look down at the pool, while my room had two exterior walls—one facing the pool and one directed out to the sea and the rocky shore below.
The view was something I was looking forward to, and I would have offered for Sadie to join me for coffee or a glass of wine on my balcony, but there was no point.
The sinking in my stomach would feel better once I got inside, showered, and maybe took a quick nap.
Sadie disappeared into her room without another word.
Maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to pretend we were strangers.