Chapter 3
Chapter Three
Brooke
Leif cupped my cheek, and I swallowed hard, staring up into those blue eyes of his. How could I fall for this man so quickly? We didn’t even know each other, and yet this connection couldn’t stop. It was going to break me when this was over. I knew it, and by the look on his face, he knew it too.
“Let me touch you, Brooke. I know we’re leaving tomorrow. But I don’t want this to be goodbye. Let me touch you.”
Tears filled my eyes, and I tried to blink them back, but one escaped. He used his thumb to brush it away, and my throat tightened.
“I don’t want this to end either. I’ve never felt like this before and yet it all feels so fast. So soon. And yet as soon as we leave this room, the real world will be there for us. There can’t be a future between us, Leif. This has to be just now. We both realize that, don’t we?”
“I know. Just for now. But let me touch you. Please.”
“You don’t have to keep asking. I’m all yours.”
And then he leaned forward and brushed his lips against mine.
He tasted of coffee, and the pain au chocolat that we had shared earlier.
I moaned into him, craving him. This was Leif.
The man who made me smile, who helped me find the perfect moments at a time I hadn’t expected them.
I had never expected Leif Montgomery. And I wasn’t sure I was supposed to.
But this was us, this was this moment. And I did not want it to end. So I let him kiss me, and I kissed him right back.
His hand slid over my hip, squeezing, and I groaned, arching for him.
He led me to the bed, both of us taking our time to explore one another.
That bittersweet moment of knowing this was going to be the end.
That there would be no more touches, no more moments after this.
We would snap back to our realities and find futures that didn’t include moments like this.
And yet, it was all I could do to just want him.
To pretend that this could be more. And yet why did I have to focus so hard on what could be?
My entire life was in front of me, moments of choice and exploration.
I should lean into this exact moment and just breathe. So I did.
We slowly stripped each other, in no rush.
Before it had been hard and fast, as if we knew each moment would take far too long.
We needed to put so many memories in a small box, the length of time shortening with each passing breath.
But now it was time to savor. To let these moments encapsulate the world that we would be losing.
I had fallen in love with Leif Montgomery. In just a few short moments, my body craved him. My soul desired him. And my heart ached for him.
And there was no coming back from that.
When his hand slid between my legs, cupping me, I sucked in a breath.
“Already wet for me.”
“I swear I always am when you’re around.”
“Is that right?”
With one hand on the back of my neck and his gaze on mine, he slid his middle finger over my slit.
“Now, what do we have here?”
My mouth parted as I gasped, his middle finger entering me slowly. And when he curled that digit just right, my knees nearly buckled.
“There she is. There’s my girl.” His finger rubbed over my G-spot, and then I was coming, calling out his name as my nipples pressed against his chest. He continued to finger-fuck me, taking his time at first, then going faster, harder.
It drew out my orgasm, and I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think.
And then I found myself on my back, legs spread, with Leif Montgomery kneeling between my legs.
“So pretty and pink. So swollen.” He slid his fingers along my folds again, and I gasped.
“Do you want me to eat out your cunt, pretty Brooke?”
I blushed at the rawness of his words. I hadn’t been a virgin before Leif, but I’d never had sex like this.
Never been with somebody who knew my body better than I did.
He had made me come more than once each time, and as we had explored before, we’d learned what we wanted from one another, and ourselves.
My thoughts immediately turned to mush as Leif began to lick and suck, taking his sweet time. He spread me with two fingers, using his tongue to take me near the edge but not close enough.
“Touch your tits, there you go. Pinch your nipples for me. That’s a good girl,” Leif mumbled against my pussy.
I cupped my breasts, my hands shaking, and then I was coming, pressing my pussy against Leif’s face. He laughed at me, both of us shaking, before he was hovering over me, kissing me.
I could taste myself on his lips, and I wanted to feel embarrassed. I had never had a man go down on me before, but I knew that no one would ever match him. He would be my ending, and I didn’t want to say goodbye.
“Are you ready for me, baby?” he asked, sliding his hard cock against my hip.
“Always.” I reached between us, gripping the base of his cock as I guided him towards my entrance. “Please.”
“I need a condom,” he whispered. He took my lips again, and then quickly sheathed himself in the condom we had put on the bed earlier.
And when he was ready, I guided him once more, and with an intake of breath, he was inside me.
He stretched me in just the perfect way, as he was bigger than even my largest toy, and I had to swallow hard just to think.
He moved in and out of me, slowly at first, and then harder, faster. The sounds of our lovemaking filled the room, and I couldn’t help but moan and call out his name.
“Look down between us,” he ordered, and I did so, trying to focus. “Look at where we’re connected. You’re so fucking beautiful, Brooke.” He took my lips again before he rolled on his back, and I sucked in a breath.
“Ride me,” he ordered. He folded his hands behind his head, and I rolled my eyes, then did exactly what he asked. I put my hands on his shoulders and lifted my hips high. I slid over his length before slamming back down again.
“Dear God. Look at the way your pussy’s grabbing for my cock. So fucking beautiful.”
Blushing hard now, I continued to ride him until I couldn’t think anymore.
And when I came again, he rolled us over so we were on our sides, my leg draped over his hip, and he moved faster, harder, and then he was calling out my name, his face pressed against my neck, as he slammed into me one last time, finally coming.
It felt like hours, but I knew it was only minutes, as we both came down from our high, our breaths coming in pants.
“Brooke,” he whispered.
“Don’t,” I said as I wiped my own tears away this time.
He kissed me softly before he pulled out of me.
I ached in the best ways possible, even as I missed the way that he felt deep inside me.
Leif took care of the condom, and I sat up in bed, pulling the sheet to cover my body.
He walked naked back to me and tugged on his jeans.
He didn’t bother to button them but handed me his shirt.
“I know you like to stay clothed, so I’ll take care of you.”
He would take care of me. I knew he said that, and I knew he believed that. But what would happen when it was over?
“I see the way that you’re thinking so hard. The way that you can’t even focus. The hamster is working overtime on that wheel.”
“I think the hamster is taking a break,” I said dryly.
He sat next to me then, leaned forward, and pushed my hair from my face.
“You’re beautiful.”
“You keep saying that,” I said dryly.
“It’s the truth.”
“We’re all packed up. Our flights are tomorrow.”
“They are.” The crack in his voice nearly undid me. “What if we meet?”
I blinked. “Leif. I’m going to school. I’m moving to California.”
“I know. And I’m starting my apprenticeship. But this between us? Don’t you see? It has to mean something.”
“I want it to mean something, I promise.” I pulled on his shirt, feeling far more naked than I had before. “But how is this supposed to work? We’re both just starting our lives.”
“And so this is just it for you then?”
“Of course not.” I scrambled out of bed, grateful that his shirt covered me down to mid-thigh as I began to pace the small room. “I don’t know what we’re supposed to be doing. I mean, I didn’t expect you, Leif.”
“I never expected you either.” He stood up and reached for me. I held up my hand, afraid if he touched me, I would start to believe in a future again. But how could that be? There wasn’t an easy answer out of this.
“I thought this was just going to be a summer fling—a moment. I didn’t mean to literally fall on top of you.”
“I didn’t mean to run into you.” He ran his hands through his hair, the muscles in his arms bulging as he did so. “Okay, how about this. There’s a place next to my dad’s tattoo shop called Taboo. It’s a café, and frankly, one of the best places for coffee in the city.”
“I’ve been there.” I gave him a wry smile. “And I almost got a tattoo at Montgomery Ink.”
His eyes darkened. “See? It’s fate. Our lives have been intertwined for so long and we didn’t know.”
“But we never met before.”
“Because we weren’t ready. But we’re adults now, and this has to mean something. So meet me at Taboo at a certain time we can make happen. And if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.”
I wanted to believe him. I wanted to reach out and know that it would happen. But there weren’t any answers. “So what, if we meet up and it’s meant to be, does that means we try long distance?”
“How long are you in California?”
“For at least a year. It’s the fellowship I’m in. I’m going in as a junior, thanks to all of my extra courses.”
“Since you’re beautiful and brilliant, Brooke.”
Tears began to spill but I let them. And Leif didn’t wipe them away.
“I’ll meet you.” His eyes widened, a smile spreading on his face, but I held up my hand. “I’ll meet you. And we can try something. But if for some reason we can’t. If fate has an entirely different plan than we thought, just don’t hate me. Okay?”
He moved then, cupping my face. “I could never hate you.” His voice was low. A promise of something I couldn’t name or ever hope to grasp.
“Okay.” I closed my eyes, knowing that it wouldn’t work. Our lives were on such drastically different paths. “Can we just have this moment? This space? I don’t want to end up resenting this time in case it doesn’t work out.” In case the world doesn’t believe in us like I want to believe in him.
He nodded against my head and held me close. “No matter what, I’ll never forget this summer. I’ll never forget you.”
I held him close and knew that this was our promise.
A promise of memory, and hope.
But I knew if I saw him in Colorado, if we tried to make it work, it would most likely break me even more in the end. I’d wind up shattered into a thousand pieces, unable to breathe. Unable to pick up the remains.
What would be easier for us? What would soften his pain? Me showing up, so we could say goodbye yet again? Or us letting this moment in time be the sweetest of memories? I didn’t have the answers, so I held him, and knew that fate didn’t really exist.
After all, fate wouldn’t have led me to Leif when there were no easy ways for our paths to cross again.
* * *
I stood in front of the café, my heart in my hands, and my throat tight. People walked past me, not bothering to give me a glance. After all, I was just a girl, standing in front of a door, waiting to see if I had made the correct choice.
I put my hand on the door handle, knowing I was making a mistake.
But it was the only one I could make.