Chapter 7
Chapter Seven
Dewi - Now, End of May
Dewi stared across her desk to where Aisling sat slumped and sobbing in one of the chairs.
She still wasn’t certain which shocked her more—that the rock-steady, combat-hardened Irish Wolfhound shifter warrior was crying…or the reason why Aisling was crying.
Dewi took a beat to breathe, process, think.
Yes, unusual for her not to default to snark, especially with Aisling, but she blamed it on her new-mom brain still not quite running at full speed.
Except the revelation Aisling dumped on Dewi hadn’t arrived from left field, but from an entirely different fricking galaxy.
“Tamsin?” Dewi asked to verify she hadn’t misheard Aisling. “Our Tamsin?”
Aisling tearfully nodded.
“You’ve pinged on our Tamsin as your mate?”
Aisling nodded again.
In Dewi’s arms, baby Lyssa lay sound asleep, having finished nursing not long before Aisling’s arrival. Other than the baby, the two of them were alone in the house.
Fuuuuuuck.
“Let’s take this out to the living room,” Dewi suggested to buy herself another moment to process. “So I can put her down and fully focus on this. Okay?”
Aisling nodded once more. Dewi stood, leading the way.
In the living room, Dewi lay Lyssa on a soft quilt they’d stationed there for just that purpose and then took a seat in a nearby comfy chair while Aisling curled up on the couch.
Dewi leaned forward and nudged a box of tissues on the coffee table closer to the older woman.
“Tell me what happened,” Dewi started, forcing herself to remain calm and choose her words carefully. “Are you certain that’s what you felt? Why didn’t you ping on her before now?”
Aisling blew her nose. “I never met her before today,” she said.
“I scented her, after what happened at the safe house on that day, but I hadn’t met her in person.
Trevor exfiltrated her from the UK after she escaped the attack and immediately brought her here.
I remained at the safe house with the others, sorting out the aftermath and mopping up the mess.
Then I was busy tracking Faegan and anyone helping him. ”
Dewi nodded and didn’t interrupt, even when Aisling paused several times to blow her nose.
It freaked Dewi out how absolutely shattered the other woman now appeared.
Nothing at all like the feisty, snarky, confident—yes, cocky—warrior Dewi was quickly coming to like not just as pack and an employee, but as adopted family.
A woman twice Dewi’s age.
“I don’t know how to explain it,” Aisling continued. “Maybe it was the circumstances, that she was just attacked and terrified. Maybe it was because up until then she was with Maisie, or maybe her pregnancy—I dunno.
“But when Hamish and I arrived at the house today, I felt…something. Even before I went inside. There was a scent that prickled all of my senses. I didn’t realize it was Tamsin at first. Still, I nearly turned around right there in the driveway and left, except I didn’t know why I felt like that or what was going on to even explain myself if I did.
Mind ye, it set nearly every hair on my body standin’ straight up, and I never felt nothin’ like that before.
I let Hamish go inside first, thank christ.”
She blew her nose again, tears still rolling down her cheeks.
“And thank feckin’ hell I was parked on the street and not blocked in.
When I walked in the door, that’s when the scent really hit me, and my instincts kicked in and told me what it was about.
Damned near bowled me over, it did. I was horrified, because I thought what if it was one of the wee ones?
I felt certain it wasn’t one of the men.
And that’s when I realized it was Tamsin. ”
Aisling slowly shook her head. “Took every ounce of strength I had in me to stand there, get introduced, and then pretend someone rang my mobile so I could lie that I needed to pop out for a few. I didn’t even shake her hand!
I felt terrified I couldn’t let go if I did.
I was back in the car and leavin’ before Duncan could stop me.
” She harshly laughed. “What the bloody hell would I have even told him?”
“The truth, maybe?” Dewi gently suggested. “He’d understand. It’s not like he’s unfamiliar with mate bonds. He had one with Grandmother Louisa, and he’s seen plenty of packmates with them. Including my parents.”
“I don’t even understand it!” Aisling cried. “That poor girl’s been through enough already, and the Goddess has a cruel sense of humor to do this now? I mean, what am I supposed to even say to her? I can’t put that on her! She’s a new mum, and she’s in mourning, and she’s—”
“She’s pack,” Dewi said. “She felt a mate bond with Maisie. She knows what it feels like. And I trust you not to do something…” Dewi struggled to find the right word.
“To claim her whether she wants it or not?” Aisling bitterly said.
“Exactly. Did you talk to her?”
“No. Once I realized it was her I scented, I ran like a scalded dog. I couldn’t bear it, touchin’ her, not touchin’ her—it nearly drove me mad in the space of a single breath.”
Dewi sat back and tried to sort her thoughts.
What would Dad have done? What would Da do?
Hell, what would Peyton do?
After a few moments to think, Dewi carefully spoke again.
“I can’t release you from your obligations,” she finally said.
“Not in good conscience. Trevor has specifically requested that you guard Tamsin and the baby. This is bigger than you and me, and I’d need to run it past him and Peyton first as a matter of respect. ”
Aisling viciously shook her head. “I do not want Trevor to know about this.”
“If I end up requesting he let us take you off this assignment, I’ll have to give him a reason. You know damned well he’ll ask.”
“If ye call him and ask him to, ye don’t think he’d let me out of it?”
“Not without details, no. I also think that before we decide anything, you should talk with Tamsin.”
Aisling vigorously shook her head again. “I can’t be alone in a room wi’ her! No, I don’t trust myself. I never believed the shite about it feeling like the worst craving in the world, but now I get it.”
“Yeah,” Dewi said. “Try going to do a hit on a guy in a crowded sports bar and scenting on your mate, then dragging him into a wheelchair accessible stall in the women’s bathroom to claim and fuck him before shooting the asshole you’re there to kill.”
Aisling snorted. “Seriously?”
“Yeah. Not my proudest moment, but Ken says he’s happy with how it worked out, so…
yay?” Dewi’s smile faded. “And yes, I get it. I wish I’d exhibited self-restraint, but the circumstances were a perfect shitstorm.
Hell, Beck scented Nami while we were on a job, and he managed to walk away from her. ”
Dewi left out the part about how poor Beck had nearly lost his ever-loving mind over the next couple of weeks before they finally managed to locate and identify Nami.
At least in this case they all knew exactly who—and where—Tamsin was.
“Then ye understand what I’m sayin’,” Aisling noted.
“Well, what I understand is that we need to talk to someone with more experience before we—”
The intercom chimed with a gate tone.
“Aaannnd there’s Badger,” Dewi said. “Perfect timing. We’ll ask his opinion.”
“Bollocks,” Aisling muttered.
Ten minutes later, the three of them sat talking in the living room, Badger’s stony expression revealing nothing as Aisling once again—and just as tearfully—retold the events.
When she finished, Badger sighed. “Right,” he grimly said. “While I appreciate yer decency and honor, lass, Dewi’s right—we cannae release ye from yer oath. However,” he added, “I think Duncan, Dewi, and I can help ye with it.”
“How?” Aisling asked.
“Yeah, how?” Dewi echoed, completely confused.
“This is rare but not unheard of,” he said. “Obviously, the easiest answer is to separate the two of ye, except that completely defeats the purpose of yer assignment. But we can try using our Prime to help ye control the urges. Yer a soldier, right? Ye know how to exhibit self-restraint.”
“You can make me not love her?” Something about Aisling’s mournfully hopeful tone damned near broke Dewi’s heart.
“No,” Badger said. “We should be able to help ye not act on it, however. Unless or until Tamsin makes a move on her own toward ye,” he added.
“I mean, if it weren’t for the circumstances, this’d be easy, just let the two of ye talk it out.
But I think perhaps yer instincts are correct that ye shouldn’t be talkin’ to her about this right this moment. ”
Dewi cocked her head. “Feel like explaining that rationale? What if Tamsin’s on board with it?”
“What if she’s not?” Badger asked. “What if she feels guilty about Aisling’s feelings and only agrees because it’s an easier path for her to take?
What if she’s horrified about it? What if she feels it too, but instead of thinking about it and making rational decisions, she simply acts on the attraction to avoid fully dealing with her trauma?
What if she feels guilty about lovin’ someone so quickly after losin’ her mate the way she did?
Yes, Tamsin’s doin’ worlds better now than she was in those initial months, but that kind of grief cannot be instantly healed. ”
He focused on Aisling. “Don’t fash yerself yet, lass. Ye did the right thing by leavin’. We can smooth that over. Let me an’ Duncan put our snouts together, talk it over, an’ we’ll all sit down wi’ ye later this evening.”
“Ye won’t tell Trevor about this, will ye?” Aisling asked. “I don’t want him to know!”
“Well, if Tamsin feels it true for ye, it’ll be kinda hard to keep it a secret.”
“Ye know what I mean,” Aisling said.
“Nothin’ else will happen until after Duncan and I talk,” Badger assured her. “Why don’t ye go have a lie down? I need to talk to Dew.”
Aisling nodded, standing, taking the sodden tissues with her and grabbing the box, too. She was currently staying out in the pool house on the lanai. Once they heard the back sliding doors close behind her, Dewi looked at Badger.
Well aware that the other shifter’s hearing was as good as theirs, Dewi kept her voice down, mouthing her words rather than speaking aloud. “What the hell do we do?”
Badger didn’t bother staying quiet. “Fer starters, good on ye for stayin’ calm.” He smiled, his blue eye twinkling. “That’s mature of ye.”
She stuck her tongue out at him, making him chuckle before he continued.
“Unfortunately, I have experience with this from Tamsin’s side of things.
I’ve never felt a mate bond with anyone since I lost my Tahlia, but if some lass had come up to me not even a year after I lost her, I doubt I’d have reacted well.
Especially if I didn’t feel the same. Although I was far older than Tamsin is now, and had been with my Tahlia longer. And, obviously, I’m not a new mum.”
He scratched his chin. “Then again, I can’t say if I had felt a mate bond for someone that I wouldn’t have acted on it.
I might very well’ve. If Tamsin feels a mate bond for Aisling in return, then the problem’s solved itself, right?
If not…” He shrugged, sighing. “I don’t have easy answers.
I’m sorry. Beck walked away from Nami and it didn’t kill him. ”
“No,” Dewi snarked. “But the rest of us nearly killed him, if you’ll recall.”
Badger arched his good eyebrow at her. “He exhibited self-control, is my point. And that was without a Prime order restrainin’ him.
Aisling’s older and, dare I say, she’s even more powerful an Alpha than our Beck.
I do feel that, with our help, she can endure this until there’s a natural resolution. ”
Dewi slumped on the sofa. “This feels really fucking cruel no matter how it’s sliced.”
“Yer not wrong.” He glanced over to where the baby lay peacefully sleeping. “Woulda been worse were it a bairn she scented on. At least Tamsin’s an adult.”
“Has that happened before?”
“It’s rare. Rarer still in today’s age.”
Dewi’s stomach rolled. “But…a kid?”
There was one wolf about two hundred years ago, back in the old country.
He was, fortunately, an honorable fellow.
He felt it but forced himself to walk away and sent one of his brothers to talk to the family.
Offered them a generous dowry if they’d let him meet her once she was of age, but to keep it a secret from everyone until then.
They did, and he did, too. He kept in touch with them.
Spent the years building his holdings and a house.
Met her at a feast once she was of age and, lucky for him, she felt an instant mate bond in return. But that was a best case.”
“What’s a worst case?”
“From the past? I know one wolf who was killed by the girl’s family.
She was but a toddler, and he was an idiot who threatened the family.
Unfortunately for him—or, rather, fortunately for the girl—they were much greater numbers than him.
I’ve heard other stories, not sure how true they are or not, with a similar result. ”
“But those were all in the past?”
He smiled, but it looked sad. “Aye.” He met her gaze. “And, of course, there was yer parents.”