Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
Trent
When Trent left Badger’s cabin, he knew that, despite the early hour, further sleep would be impossible.
He damned sure didn’t want to tempt the Goddess by rhetorically asking what the hell else could happen.
Returning home might mean waking Asia, and he didn’t want to face her with this yet.
He didn’t want to face anyone with it yet.
That would make it…real.
Please get your ass home safely and soon, bro.
He folded the paper, stuck it in his pocket, and headed down one of the trails behind their houses. A trail he knew like the back of his paw and had spent his entire life running.
However, right now he didn’t run, but walked. Too many thoughts currently spun through his head to be able to shift and run. All that would do was wear him out, and he suspected there would be at least several tense days and nights ahead of them.
If they were lucky there would only be several tense days and nights before they located Peyton.
He didn’t want to contemplate any scenario other than Peyton returning.
What the fuck am I supposed to tell Gillian if she asks if I’ve heard from him?
While he didn’t want to acknowledge the ominous “what-ifs” trying to lodge themselves in his brain, he’d be irresponsible if he didn’t start pulling together all the knowledge Peyton had passed to him regarding unexpected transitions of leadership.
The “just in case” conversations they’d danced around in recent years.
Conversations Trent had wanted to stick his fingers in his ears and ignore, but knew he couldn’t.
If Trent died or was somehow disabled, he knew Gillian could easily have someone competent doing most of his own job within a month, because he was mostly an office guy.
Other than the infrequent times he had to deal with something personally for Peyton or Dewi, usually a Pack Enforcer matter that needed a weighty presence rather than a terse phone call.
In other words, Gillian could easily bring Ken up to speed on most of Trent’s job—other than the Enforcer stuff—in short order.
Peyton, however, wasn’t expendable.
Goddammit, bro, you’d better make it home safe or I’m going to kill you.
Gillian
Gillian awakened early that morning from a bad dream with a nasty feeling tugging at her gut. Grabbing her phone from where it lay charging on her nightstand, mixed emotions hit her when she realized she didn’t have any calls or texts from Peyton.
Goddammit.
She closed her eyes and tried to go back to sleep, fitfully dozing but waking at every slight noise.
Finally, she gave up around four a.m. and sat up. The baby was still sound asleep in her bassinet. Gillian stared at the empty space next to her in the bed, her hand coming to rest on his pillow.
Pulling it into her arms, she buried her face in it and deeply inhaled Peyton’s scent.
Why should I feel guilty for being angry with him for leaving?
It wasn’t the first and wouldn’t be the last time their personal lives took a backseat to pressing pack business, but this was by far the worst incident.
She grabbed her phone and, before she lost her nerve, shot off another angry text to Peyton.
I hope you realize how pissed off I am at you.
This is total bullshit and you know it. You crawl up Dewi’s ass over working too hard, and your FIRST CHILD WAS JUST BORN and you fly off to Europe.
We will have a serious talk when you get home about realigning your priorities.
It’s not your little sister with the issue—it’s YOU.
Send.
It didn’t make her feel better to send it, but at least it helped release some of the mental pressure building inside her.
Deciding to let the baby sleep, she pulled on her bathrobe and padded out to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. Ken wasn’t even there yet it was so early.
As she waited for the pot to brew, she leaned against the counter and stared at Peyton’s mug where it sat in its usual place. On the oversized ceramic mug that held about three cups of coffee was a cartoon wolf with its tongue hanging out and the words LEAD DOG emblazoned in neon pink letters.
Dewi bought it for him when she was eleven, the last Christmas she lived in Idaho before moving to Florida.
He used it every day.
Normally.
Through the kitchen window, movement caught her eye, and she spotted Ken exiting their cabin and heading across the backyard to the kitchen door.
“Oh, good morning,” he said when he spotted her there as he set his laptop case on the counter. “You’re up early.”
“I got you a mug out already.”
“Thanks,” he said. “The baby wake you up?”
“No. Have you heard from Peyton lately?” One of the bad things about being the wife and mate of the Pack Alpha was knowing there were only a few people she could vent to about certain personal…issues. Because she didn’t want her husband bad-mouthed around the pack, or to show any hint of weakness.
Ken, however, was family, as well as deep within the inner circle of pack leadership. Although most people didn’t know that last fact about him.
He smirked but it looked playful, not obnoxious. “Still giving him the silent treatment?”
“Tell me the truth—am I wrong to feel upset?”
“Not at all. I know he felt badly he had to leave, if that’s any consolation. He told me as much.”
She poured herself a mug of coffee. “Not to put you in the middle of our bullshit, and I won’t blame you or get upset if you say no, but would you mind texting him for me and checking on him?”
“I can do that.” She sipped her coffee while he pulled his phone from his back pocket and fired off a text. “I’ll let you know as soon as he gets back to me. But from what I understand, the area they’re searching is pretty remote. Wouldn’t surprise me if they lose cell signal.”
“Thanks.”
“I wouldn’t worry. He did tell me he might be out of contact for several days. Besides, we would’ve heard long before now if there was something to worry about.”
“True.” Although that didn’t feel…right. Not in this case.
If anything, Peyton had tried texting and calling her more often than normal since leaving on the trip.
She took her coffee back to the bedroom and stared at her phone for a long moment before calling Peyton.
It rang through to his voicemail immediately, like his phone was off…
Or he’d thumbed the end button to send it there.
Gillian knew she shouldn’t rip into him like this, but, as she stared at their baby, after Peyton’s short message played, Gillian lambasted him.
“I love you, you sonofabitch, but you should be here. There’s no reason someone else couldn’t have gone. Adair’s lying here asleep and where’s her daddy during her first days of life? Fucking off on a damned snipe hunt. Come home, Peyton.”
She hung up, trembling, and dropped her phone onto the bed.
No, she shouldn’t have done that.
And yes, she could log into his account and delete it, because she had all the passwords—they both did for each other—but…
The longer she thought about it, the angrier she grew.
Asia had been able to have Trent at her side for all of her babies, and hell, they were on pup number five!
Adair was their first baby, and now Gillian was forced to shoulder this on her own without him.
And it fucking sucked.
Not to mention it borderline scared her.
She’d built it up in her mind that their first few weeks as new parents would involve lots of family time, snuggling together, enjoying Adair’s birth, letting a bit of joy fill this damned house that had seen so much darkness, and finally, finally start to put the metaphorical ghosts to rest once and for all.
And she couldn’t even have that bit of normalcy.
After a moment, she picked up her phone again and shot him another angry text.
Then, while the baby still slept, Gillian took a quick shower, emerging just in time for Adair to awaken, ready to nurse and be changed.
It was after seven when Gillian finally emerged from the bedroom with the baby sound asleep on her shoulder, the empty coffee mug in the other hand, and headed to the kitchen for breakfast.
Still no response from Peyton, either.
Ken took one look at her and walked over, motioning.
“Gimme.” She started to hand him the coffee mug but he smiled, shaking his head.
“Give her to me so you can eat with both hands. I’ve already had breakfast and there’s still plenty left.
I told Asia’s piranha pups to leave at least one of the steaks for you. ”
“Did I mention I love you?”
He was already a natural, exhibiting no awkwardness as he took Adair and gently settled her on his shoulder, almost exactly as Gillian held her.
“I might be a grazer, but I’m a quick study and like to keep my hide intact, thank you very much.
” He leaned against the counter as Gillian piled food on her plate.
Halfway through nursing the baby, her own stomach had started roaring with a fury.
Something else Asia had playfully warned her about—nearly insatiable hunger during the nursing stage.
“Where’s your little piranha?” Gillian asked as she licked a dollop of sausage gravy off her thumb where it’d landed while she was ladling it over a fresh biscuit.
“You mean Dewi or Lyssa?” he teased.
“Yes.” Which made Ken laugh. Still, Gillian’s anxiety tried to claw its way back into her mind, and she viciously shoved it down.
I will not let myself worry!
“Dewi ate already. She grabbed Badger’s rental car and took the baby with her to visit Beck’s family,” Ken said. “Then she’ll stop by and see Joaquin’s family, along with a few others.”
Gillian eased herself onto one of the barstools along part of the counter to eat there. “And you didn’t go with her?”
He arched an eyebrow at her, and for a moment, it reminded her of how Peyton and Trent and other wolves looked. More than mere human, and yet—