Chapter 35
Chapter Thirty-Five
Dewi
When Dewi and Gillian finally emerged from the bedroom, they found Duncan and Badger had brought the babies over from Asia’s.
“Thanks, Badger.” Dewi took a sleeping Lyssa from him while Duncan returned Adair to Gillian.
“Yer welcome,” Badger said in that kind, fatherly tone that nearly took Dewi’s knees out.
She met his gaze. “Anyone suspect anything?”
“No, lass. I told ’em there’s pressing pack business matters to attend to.
Asia and Tamsin have tonight’s arrangements planned already and will handle getting the food an’ everythin’.
None of ye need lift a finger. They already talked to Malyah and Nami, and they’ll help with the food prep, since Beck and Joaquin need to be here anyway.
Asia’s pups will grab their food and then play babysitter to the wains over at Asia’s house, so they won’t be underfoot.
I suspect Tamsin will want to be over there as well, so no worries about that. ”
They all turned as Ken and Trent emerged from the office.
Ken took one look at Dewi and turned to Trent. “Do you all need us for a while?”
“No. We’ll come get you if there’s an update.”
Ken took the diaper bag from Badger and draped an arm around Dewi’s shoulders. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s go back to the cabin for a while.”
She leaned against him, letting him take charge. Part of her mind rebelled against that, but on the other hand, part of her soul needed—craved his strength right now.
Thankfully, Ken didn’t talk as they made their way across the backyard to their cabin. Once inside, he closed and locked the door behind them while Dewi settled the baby in her portable crib.
Ken stepped behind Dewi, slipping his arms around her waist and pulling her against him. She let her hands rest on top of his as she watched their daughter sweetly sleeping. “Anything?” she quietly asked.
He kissed the back of her neck. “Not yet.”
She struggled to hold back the prickle of tears stinging her eyes. “I don’t know what to do right now,” she whispered, not trusting her voice, not trusting herself not to start screaming, howling in rage and anguish.
Ken sighed, and the warmth of his breath caressed her neck. “Breathe,” he said. “That’s all we can do in this moment. We have our orders, we know the next immediate step, so all you have to do right now, baby, is breathe.”
She closed her eyes as tears spilled down her cheeks.
“I can’t imagine a world where that big jerk isn’t here taking care of us.
” She sniffled. “I remember when I was little how he’d take turns taking care of me.
I remember him dressing me, making breakfast for me.
I knew he wasn’t my ‘dad,’ but back then I was too little to understand the difference.
Him, Badger, Trent. I never felt like that about Beck; he was more like a friend, I guess?
I mean, I loved him and felt like he was family, but Badger was my main ‘dad’, then Peyton and Trent.
They didn’t really feel like my brothers until I was older. ”
Ken rested his chin on her shoulder. “They all love you, in their own ways. Badger feels like a dad to me too, now. So does Duncan.”
She sniffled again. “Yeah.” She watched the slow rise and fall of Lyssa’s chest, how her tiny fingers clenched and unclenched in sleep, no worries disturbing her.
“I want her to know her uncles—both of them. I don’t want her growing up in the shadow of grief like I did, with the former Pack Alpha nothing more than a larger-than-life figure she only knows by what other people tell her about him. ”
Ken nuzzled the side of her neck but didn’t speak and oh, how she loved him for that.
Giving her the emotional and mental space she needed to…process.
Mentally shift gears.
Trying to prepare herself to completely rearrange her entire emotional landscape in case…
In case.
In case her worst fears came true.
After a few minutes, it became too much, too painful to ponder—too keenly, sharply agonizing to imagine Lyssa growing up in some ways just as Dewi had—and she had to make it stop and derail her overactive brain.
And there was only one sure-fire way to do that.
She turned in Ken’s embrace, draped her arms around his neck, and kissed him, melting against him and happily letting him take control of this and her in this moment.
Without breaking their kiss, Ken backed her toward the cabin’s bedroom, using his foot to nudge the bedroom door mostly shut. Dewi closed her eyes and deeply breathed, deeply, the scent of him, her mate, the love of her life.
Dewi couldn’t imagine ever living without him. It felt like he’d been in her life forever, a constant, unshakable mountain of love and strength supporting her, keeping her grounded.
Keeping her sane.
Ken turned them again, lying on the bed and pulling her on top of him. “No-brain time for a little while, okay?”
She nodded. “Yes, please.”
They both kicked off their shoes and he cradled her in the crook of his arm, slowly kissing her. Dewi laced fingers with him and tugged his hand down to her jeans, to the fly. Then she released him and started working on his, taking her time.
This might be the last fragile slice of time they could enjoy like this for a while, depending on what happened tonight and over the next few days and weeks. No way in hell would she squander it.
Life was short, and all this bullshit hammered that home deep into her soul.
At the end of her life, she wouldn’t regret taking moments like this with Ken.
She’d only regret it if they didn’t live life to the fullest. And she knew what she and Ken did in this moment wouldn’t make a single bit of difference in the outcome of Peyton’s situation, and her brother would likely be the first to tell her to take time for herself.
Kissing, exploring, they slowly helped each other undress until they lay twined in each other’s arms, skin to skin, nuzzling and teasing, tasting.
Ken cupped her right breast in his hand and gently teased her nipple with his thumb. “Did I ever tell you how lucky I believe I am to have met you?’
He’d wedged a thigh between hers and the tingles making their way from her nipple to her clit made her want to rock against him.
“I think I’m the luckier one,” she said.
She nipped his lower lip, enjoying how his erection twitched in response between them.
“I brought you into an insane situation and you didn’t run screaming. ”
“No, I didn’t run.” The corner of his mouth quirked in a smile. “I just fainted.”
That made her softly snicker. She licked the hollow of his throat while he nibbled along the shell of her ear. “But you did it with flair,” she teased. “The Russian judge totally would have given you at least an 8.1 for that swan dive off the barstool.”
He met her gaze and started giggling, until they were both laughing and the sound of it helped sweep a comforting salve across her soul.
Ken rolled onto his back, pulling Dewi on top of him.
He was more than ready and she took her time, slowly riding him, loving the dark hunger building in his eyes like clouds in a Florida thunderstorm.
He reached between her legs with his right hand, his thumb stroking her nub while he teased her nipples with his left.
She’d take her time and make this one last a while because she wanted her mind only on him, on them, on this moment, for as long as she could enjoy it.
With one hand braced on his chest as she rolled her hips against him, she studied every line on his face, the shadows and depths in his brown eyes.
The intensity in that gaze as he watched her.
Like she was the only thing in the world that existed for him.
Nothing had ever felt as good, as right as these times with him.
She leaned in, kissing him and enjoying the way his left hand threaded through her hair, gently fisting it, holding her in place as his right fingers teased her and drew her closer to release.
“Give it to me, baby,” he whispered through their mate bond. “Show me how good it feels.”
She wanted to make it last, but his words plucked at her clit, sending jolts of desire through her body. His fingers perfectly stroked and teased her, and combined with the feel of him inside her, the slow cascade built, stronger by the second.
She wanted to give it to him. She wanted to completely give herself over to him. In a perfect world, she’d be happy being his mate and keeping their house and letting him lead the way.
But this wasn’t a perfect world, and the only perfection she got to enjoy was this brief respite right here.
Harder, faster, she rocked on his shaft, now bracing both hands against his chest for leverage as she rode him.
“That’s it.” He never broke their kiss, and for a second, the thought that she felt sorry for people who didn’t have this connection with their mate flitted through her brain before pleasure kicked it out again. “I want to feel you come all over me, baby. I’m not going to until after you do.”
Desire took over, and Dewi was sooo close. Until that bubble finally filled and popped and pleasure surged through her, amplified by the feel of his cock inside her.
She’d swear he let out a soft growl. “There you go, sweetheart. Good girl.” Another ripple of pleasure washed through her at his words and he grabbed both of her hips and started fucking up into her, completely taking control even as they still kissed.
It didn’t take him long to catch up, and when his climax hit, he buried himself deep inside her one last time, his arms wrapping around her to hold her pressed against his body while they continued kissing.
Finally, she closed her eyes and lay her head on his chest while his fingers played with her hair. In her ear his pulse slowed, finally settling into its normal rhythm, and they both let out contented sighs.
His warm breath caressed the top of her head. “Love you so much, baby,” he whispered.
“I love you, too. Can we just lie here for a little while?”
He reached down, found the sheet, and pulled it up over them. “Yeah. I think that’s a perfect idea.”