Chapter 63
Chapter Sixty-Three
Ken
After two weeks in the UK, Ken was never so glad to get on an airplane to fly home.
Well, to Idaho, which was home away from home.
He had a three-hour layover in Seattle before his commuter flight to Spokane. And when he emerged into the main terminal in Spokane a little after 9:00 that evening, he nearly burst into relieved tears to see Duncan standing there waiting for him.
He smiled and walked over. Ken dropped his bags and hugged him, closing his eyes and simply existing for a moment.
“You did good, son,” Duncan softly said.
“I’m so tired.”
“I know.”
Ken didn’t release him. “Did Peyton and Jake make it to Mexico safely?”
“Yes. Alvarez met them. They’ll do it the day after tomorrow.”
“Okay.” He stood there, still not wanting to end their hug. “Tell me if this is getting weird.”
Duncan chuckled. “You’re fine. I’ll hug you as long as you need.”
“I’m just so…tired.”
“How long has it been since you slept?”
“I… I don’t know. Yesterday morning? Maybe? Time is meaningless now.”
Duncan patted him on the back. “I think you’ve earned a couple of days off with no interruptions.”
Ken finally stepped back, rubbing his face. “Please tell me you’re driving.”
“I am.” Duncan picked up Ken’s carry-ons and led him out to where he’d parked Gillian’s SUV.
Ken settled into the passenger seat, tipped it back, and—
Someone rapidly knocking on the passenger window awakened him.
Dewi.
And the vehicle was no longer moving.
Disoriented, he sat up to find Duncan smiling as he unbuckled his seat belt. “We’re home.”
“Oh.” Ken fumbled for the door handle to get it open, and Dewi practically yanked it open and threw herself into the SUV, kissing him.
“Dewi, he’s exhausted and half-asleep,” Duncan said. “Let him at least get out of the car before you climb him.”
She tried to help Ken out, realized he was still belted in, and then helped him unbuckle his seatbelt and yanked him out to hug him.
“I missed you so much!”
He fought the urge to lean against her and go back to sleep. “Missed you, too, baby.” He yawned. “Cabin, please? Seriously, I need to sleep.”
“Yeah, of course.”
“I’ll bring his bags,” Duncan said.
“Thanks, Da!” Dewi led the way, her arm hooked around Ken’s. “I started Lyssa on formula,” Dewi said as they walked. “She’s getting kinda bitey.”
“Kind of like her mom.”
She snorted.
He was vaguely aware of entering the cabin and looking into the play crib at the baby before face-planting onto the bed without even getting undressed.
And that’s all he remembered for…a while.
Dewi
“I’m going to kill that rat-bastard brother of mine when I get my hands on him,” she growled at Duncan as she exited the cabin behind him with Lyssa on her shoulder and they started across the backyard to the big house.
“He had no fuc—ggin’ right to drag Ken over there without talking to me first and getting my permission! ”
Duncan stopped so suddenly she nearly ran into his back. She wasn’t expecting it when he whirled on her, thunderclouds in his eyes, and leaned in, forcing her a step back.
His low, growly tone didn’t bear the slightest hint of mirth. “Dewi. Do you have any idea of the full scope of what Peyton’s dealing with?”
“No, I don’t, because no one’s telling me shit!”
“Someone abducted him, he found someone who barely escaped a similar fate, a family was brutally tortured and murdered, and our entire understanding of the situation literally upended itself. Not to mention, they never would have figured out the direct connection between Ray Dorland and Faegan had Ken not been there! And had it not been for Ken, we wouldn’t know about Miranda Segura’s overtures toward the Russians and be able to contain that!
I get that you’re upset, but understand that the world does not revolve around you and your desire to bubble-wrap Ken! ”
“I’m sorry I’m bitchy, but you aren’t the one who’s barely slept the past two weeks and having nightmares every time I do because I’m worried about Ken.
I think I’ve been pretty reasonable, all things considered.
Y’all didn’t even have to tranq me when we found out about Peyton.
Do I not get credit for personal growth?
Because the last time I had no fucking clue where Ken was, he’d driven off the side of a fucking mountain with Nami and disappeared with some cartel dudes chasing them and trying to kill them!
Remember that? You should, because you were there! ”
He glowered. “You are the head of the expanded Pack Council. You are Head Enforcer. Fucking act like it! Your Pack Alpha is making decisions, and if you don’t like them, then fucking leave!”
Duncan took a step toward her, forcing her back another step.
“But you will respect the Pack Alpha, pup. This situation is too dire for there to be any daylight between the leadership of this pack. You can say whatever you like in person to Peyton—in private. But do not ever let me hear you talk about him in public like this again, do you understand me?”
Dewi was once again eleven and sitting at the dining room table with Badger’s hand on her scruff, forcing her to show her throat and apologize.
She blinked, staring at him.
No one had talked to her like that since that night at the table.
She was aware of Badger emerging from his cabin—because of course they were only a few steps from his front door—and he wore a nearly identical dark glower as Duncan.
Badger walked over and stood next to Duncan, his hands on his hips. “I heard enough,” he said gravely. “An’ I won’t make ’im take back a single word, pup.”
She wanted to scream at both of them. Wanted to rail about how unfair it was that these decisions were being made behind the scenes without her input.
Finally, she tipped her chin up, just a little.
“I apologize for the way I went off, but I do not and will not apologize for the feelings and fear I had that triggered it. Not after everything I’ve been through.
Not after everything this pack’s been through.
And I will not apologize for feeling angry that I’ve been iced out of decisions involving my mate, including literally dragging him halfway across the goddamned world without bothering to so much as tell me first, or even tell me Peyton’s alive, too.
I submit to the Pack Alpha, but I demand to know what the fuck is going on.
Respect the Pack Alpha? That goes both ways, right?
Stop treating me like I’m a hand grenade about to go off and give me the information I need to help run this pack and do my fucking job.
Mates are sacrosanct, especially human mates.
And Peyton and you all have been fucking around in Ken’s mind without my knowledge or permission. ”
“He’s an adult,” Badger said. “He’s allowed to agree to do things.”
“But I have a right to know what’s happening.”
Both men marginally relaxed. Badger reached out and touched her shoulder, squeezing it. “Go leave the baby with Gillian and meet us in the office,” he quietly said in a grim tone that chilled her soul.
“Why?”
“Because yer absolutely right—ye deserve to have the information. And as acting Pack Alpha, I’m gonna show ye everythin’.”
Three hours later, Duncan held the garbage can for Dewi while she retched into it, and Badger patted her on the back.
Fuuuuuck me.
She spit and took the offered glass of water, rinsing and spitting.
“Ken puked too, if it’s any consolation,” Duncan said.
She knew he was trying to lighten the tone, but that wasn’t possible right now.
Nodding that she was done, she sat back in the chair and gulped the water. “How much of that did Ken consciously know? And how much does he still remember?”
“Most of it was hidden from him until Peyton’s disappearance triggered everything,” Badger said.
“We left him with some of it, because it may be vital to the current situation,” Duncan added. “We want him able to put together various pieces of the puzzle, and if we took all of it away, he might miss things.”
She stared at Duncan, then Badger. “Why was I not given all of this before now?”
“Well, lass, ye were a child,” Badger kindly said. “Ye did have most of it in there already, but Peyton didn’t want it triggered unless the situation were…dire.”
“But why not trigger me instead of Ken?” she asked. “Why make him experience all of… that?”
That, more than anything, was what upended her stomach. Ken was a truly gentle soul forced into this life because of her. It was bad enough he’d killed—more than once—because of her.
That he’d had access to such knowledge…
It horrified her. And it shamed her, because it was her fault she’d claimed him as her mate.
“Because his skills are vital to this pack’s survival,” Duncan said.
“Unless you want to give up being Head Enforcer and go back to school to learn what he knows. If so, then we need to arrange that immediately and figure out who will step in as Head Enforcer and take your place. I’m certain Ken wishes that’s exactly what would happen, putting you out of danger and allowing him to be a stay-at-home dad full-time. ”
“That’s not viable, much less realistic, and you know it,” she flatly said.
Badger sadly smiled. “That’s why he said it. But Duncan’s right. Charlie didn’t have most of these concerns when he was Pack Alpha. The technology wasn’t there. If it were, I have no doubt he’da had someone like Ken doin’ the same thing.”
“Is that everything?” she asked.
The men nodded. “If there’s more Peyton hasn’t told us, or triggered for us, we aren’t aware of it,” Duncan said. “You’re a mother now, Dewi. You can’t run into danger without stopping to think first.”
“Did that ever stop you, Da?”
He sucked his teeth. “I’m not making this a gender issue. Peyton is fully aware of how reactionary you can be. And in many ways, it makes you excellent at your job. But times change, and as life situations change it means your ways have to change and adapt, too.”
“We have to take the fight to them,” she insisted. “We can’t simply sit back and circle the wagons,” she said. “If we do that, it’s not if, but when, until we have to fight off the threat.”
“We’re not doin’ that,” Badger said. “We’re proceedin’ wi’ caution an’ care so we have all the information and can set up our chess pieces before we take them out.
Sometimes, I think ye were born too late.
Ye’d been at home chargin’ across a valley with a broadsword in hand and screamin’ like a banshee.
” He smiled. “Ye’d likely have given Boudica a run fer her money. ”
Dewi snorted.
“Peyton and Trent tried to shield ye,” Badger added.
“Ye’d already been through so much. Despite everythin’, they wanted ye to have as normal a life as possible before ye ended up wadin’ through the shite.
Ye were never supposed to be dragged into this.
Yer their baby sister, an’ they never wanted any of this darkness to touch yer soul. ”
“Don’t you all understand sharing this burden with me sooner would have eased it among all of us?”
“Perhaps,” Badger said. “But had we done that, ye might not have met Ken, aye? Or had Lyssa?”
She started to argue, but then her jaw snapped shut. “Yeah,” she finally admitted. “But why did he and Jake go to Mexico?”
“We can’t go guns a-blazin’ into a situation we don’t understand,” Badger added.
“There is a method to Peyton’s madness. Hard to believe, I know.
We can’t fight battles on multiple fronts.
An’ we need to know what that woman in Mexico knows, or suspects.
This isn’t a sprint—it’s a marathon. Yer spirit is right, but now ye see the larger chessboard, aye? ”
“Yeah.” She picked at her cuticles. “I hate that I dragged Ken into this.”
“No, stop that, lass,” Badger said. “He loves ye fierce. And he’s the grandson of two shifters. The Goddess Herself put her finger on ’im and led ye to ’im.”
She glared at him. “You sure about that? If the Goddess is real, maybe it was Her polar opposite who set all this up.”
Duncan laughed. “No. Humans are evil enough without needing any supernatural assistance.”
“True,” she said.
“Can ye promise us no goin’ off half-cocked then?”
She nodded and stood. “I will not reenact a modern version of Custer’s last stand. I promise.”
Badger smiled, offering her a hug, which she stepped into.
“Sorry for us growlin’ atcha, fuzzball,” Badger said.
She didn’t expect the tears. She didn’t realize she was crying—sobbing, even—until she processed that Duncan and Badger had surrounded her and were holding her.
“I thought Peyton was dead,” she tearfully gasped. “I thought I’d lost him and didn’t even get to tell him goodbye or that I loved him. And then Ken was gone—”
“We know,” Duncan gently said. “Life is short. And we’re always learning and growing and adapting. I wasn’t angry with you earlier, sweetheart; I needed to snap you out of it.”
“No, I deserved it. You were right.” She lay her head against Badger’s chest. “I miss you calling me fuzzball.”
He chuckled, and the way it rumbled through his chest brought back countless memories of being snuggled against him as a kid and feeling safe and loved.
“I’m sorry. How about I do that in private, then?
” He palmed her cheeks and stared into her eyes.
“Jes’ like we respect the Pack Alpha, people need to respect ye as well.
I won’t do anythin’ to lower their opinion of ye. ”
“Okay. But I do like it.” She looked back at Duncan. “You, too, Da.”
Badger hugged her again as Duncan broke away to retrieve a box of tissues for her. “We love ye fierce, Dew. None of us claim to be perfect. We’re all doin’ the best we can with what we got.”
“I know.” She blew her nose. “Love you, too.” She turned to Duncan. “Love you, too, Da.”
He kissed the top of her head. “Try to get some sleep. Ken’s back, he’s safe, and now you can relax a little, huh?”
She nodded. When they left the office, she spotted Gillian sitting on the sofa, the TV on but turned down so low a human likely couldn’t have heard it. Lyssa and Adair were asleep on a blanket on the floor.
Gillian offered her a sad smile and patted the cushion next to her.
Without a word, Dewi walked over to the couch, lay down on it with her head in Gillian’s lap, curled up, and closed her eyes as Gillian’s hand settled on her shoulder.
Something else Dewi missed from her childhood—many nights spent exactly like this, snuggled with Gillian, or Badger, or Trent and Peyton, when they were home.
“If it means anything,” Gillian said, “I have chewed him out plenty of times for siloing information from you. He meant well. He loves you.”
“I know,” she said.
“Go to sleep, sweetie,” she said. “I’ll keep watch.”
And, for the first time in two weeks, Dewi actually slept without nightmares plaguing her.