Chapter 22 Unfamiliar Territory
Unfamiliar Territory
One Week Later
“Sage…”
Victor whispered in my ear as I stared out the window. The sun was setting, and his “honeymoon” was over.
“Sage, darling, you need to drink your Sanguis Vita while I’m gone, okay? That’s all you need to do today.”
I didn’t reply.
Victor had explained, over and over, that his marriage was purely political. That his new wife was the werewolf Premier’s cousin, and he’d made the arrangement to keep Fenmoor appeased after the suspicious death of their leader.
The new Premier, Thangmar Ulfic, was more than happy to have his brother out of the way, but werewolves were still out for blood, and they needed a distraction.
That distraction came in the form of a wedding between the most eligible bachelor of Lundaria and the “princess” of Fenmoor, Accalia Ulfic.
Logically, it made sense. But I was already irrevocably damaged, and logic wasn’t going to fix me. Our bond had been cracked from the beginning, but watching him kiss his wife on TV was what had finally shattered me completely.
It was so strange, because what I felt wasn’t rational. Not just because of his explanation, that the marriage was all for show, but because I didn’t even like Victor very much. I certainly didn’t love him.
If he would just let me go, I would happily go on my way.
But no. He’d forced this connection on me, forced me to want him, to submit to him, to be this perfect little omega for him, and yet he was a terrible alpha.
He claimed he’d never slept with any of the women he was dating—or marrying—but it was still unconscionable to do that to a mated partner.
The mate bond was so sacred it was actually one of the few reasons you could get divorced and no one, not even your spouse, would blame you.
Mates were supposed to be honored and cherished, but I was hidden away like his dirty secret. A skeleton in his penthouse closet.
I was kept in the dark about all of Victor’s doings. And now he’d even taken the TV to make sure I’d never find out what went on in his world outside this apartment again.
“I’ll be back this morning. I mean it, Accalia knows this marriage is for show. She doesn’t know about you specifically, but I’ve made it clear that I have no interest in sharing her bed, and she’s fine with that.”
I blinked slowly, and he sighed. “I love you, Sage.”
The front door clicked closed, and his absence ate at me like acid.
Nothing would stop the pain.
I got out of bed and smashed the ceramic decorative heart on the floor. Grabbing the sharpest edge I could find, I entered the bathroom and turned on the faucet to fill the tub.
I just wanted this to end.
* * *
“I’ve never seen anything like this, sir. It’s unprecedented, to say the least.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?”
“I mean I’ve been studying mate bonds for over thirty years and not once have I ever seen a mate withdraw from their partner. In fact it’s almost always the opposite—I’ve interviewed Magiks who used to be depressed and then the mate bond made them better. Never the other way around.”
A growl caused the door to shake.
“I ask you again… what is that supposed to mean?”
The woman sighed. “I understand you’re feeling protective, but I’m going to have to ask for you to calm down if you want to hear my real, honest diagnosis and advice.”
I stared at the bandages wrapped around my wrists. Izack had come in to remind me to drink the blood supplements just as I’d finally started to lose consciousness.
I’d been so close.
Since then, Victor had me seeing Dr. Willow Vexalis, the foremost expert on mate bonds in Lundaria.
Thankfully, most of her examinations with me were physical and magical, and our sessions consisted of me lying still while she hovered her hands over my body.
There wasn’t much I could or even wanted to say.
“I’m sorry, doctor. It’s just that the few people I’ve confided in simply tell me she’ll eventually feel the bond snap into place and everything will be okay. But that’s obviously not happening. Something else is wrong.”
No shit. I was a square peg Victor had been trying to force through a round hole for years now, convincing himself I would eventually fit.
Instead, I just broke.
“There’s no way to say this nicely, so I’m just going to spit it out. The bond is corrupted, and it likely has been from the beginning.”
Something slammed into the wall, shaking the apartment.
“How is that even possible? She’s my mate.
I recognized her. Her body recognized me.
I claimed her with my mark, and I’ve felt the mate bond ever since.
I’m stronger and more powerful, and I can only take blood from her. So how can the bond be corrupted?”
If I’d had any energy, I would have laughed. Could he really be this delusional?
“Mates are attached to each other, heart-to-heart, and the claiming bond simply solidifies that connection. Gives it weight, gives it clarity… gives it strength. When you claimed Sage, for some reason we may never know, your half of that connection was like a chain made of adamantine, and hers was frayed twine. And as you’ve pulled and tested your bond, all you’ve done is weaken her hold until it finally snapped. ”
Something slammed into the wall again.
“Would you let me finish, sir?”
I could hear his neck cracking as he sighed. “All I’ve ever done is protect her, so this doesn’t make any sense.”
“And yet Sage does not feel safe with you.”
There was a moment of silence.
“As I was saying, I have never heard or even read of a mate losing the will to live like this. But then again, it’s also the first time I’ve heard of someone marrying another person after bonding with their mate.”
Something heavier than a fist was thrown against the wall.
“Watch how you speak to me.”
She gasped for air. “Do you want your mate or do you want to be right?”
A low growl sounded, reverberating through the air. “I will have my mate, but what’s done is done. How do we move forward?”
There was a pregnant pause. “Part of me wants to tell you to go fuck yourself, sir, but for her sake, I’m going to stick my neck out and say that I have never seen someone treated so poorly by their mate in all my years of study.
You think you’ve provided for her, but this is a prison and deep down, you know it, too.
You want her to love you? Then treat her like a person and not an Orithiel-damned sex slave. ”
Footsteps retreated across marble floors as she walked down the door.
“And don’t ever call me again.”
* * *
“Darling, are you awake?”
Unless I’d started sleeping with my eyes open, then yes.
“I got you something.”
Oh great, more lingerie.
When I didn’t turn around, he walked to the other side of the bed, placing a box next to me. He watched me carefully, waiting for me to open it. But I couldn’t muster the interest.
Until the box moved.
I carefully sat up, the cuts on my wrists having mostly healed, and then took the lid off to find a tiny black kitten with bright green eyes looking up at me.
“Surprise!”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. I loved cats. I loved all animals, in fact, but I’d always felt a personal affinity towards cats. And as happy as I was to see the adorable little furball, mewling and trying to get out of its confinement, I just felt confused.
“Why?” I asked.
He clicked his tongue against his teeth in mild annoyance. “It’s a familiar. Shouldn’t you have one by now?”
Yes, I should have.
The number thirteen was sacred to witches, and every thirteen years we were granted another source to strengthen our power. At thirteen we got a cauldron, at twenty-six a familiar, at thirty-nine a broom, and so on.
I’d been looking forward to finding my familiar since, well, forever.
The thing was, though—familiars weren’t animals.
They were their own race of shapeshifting Magik, and only the magic of a witch bond allowed them to shift into a person.
It was a sacred process, a ritual that could only take place in Covenant Woods behind the temple in Cindralis where familiars lived until finding their witch.
So this kitten was just that—a kitten.
Like everything else Victor did, it was a meaningless gesture based on superficial knowledge of what and who I was.
It was better than lingerie, but that was only due to luck.
And unfortunately for him, I didn’t care about hurting his feelings anymore. I welcomed his anger in the hopes he’d finish the job I’d started.
“That’s not a familiar.”
He frowned. “I don’t understand. You mean you don’t like it? I can get you a different one if you’d like.”
I didn’t want him to take out what was sure to be a volcano of rage on the kitten, so I got up and left the room before we both lost it, pausing on the way to lean against the wall in the hallway. I felt dizzy from the lack of food and loss of blood, but as soon as the spell passed, I kept going.
“Sage, come back here,” he ordered.
I ignored him, moving towards the curtains in the living room to open them.
“Sage!”
I winced at the bright light, and then sat down against the window, loving the juxtaposition of cool glass and warm sun against my skin.
He stormed in and then hissed at the brightness, retreating to the safety of the dark hall. “Don’t be such a child. Close the curtains and talk to me.”
“What’s the point if you never listen?” I replied listlessly, leaning my head back and closing my eyes. “You never listen…”
He paced in the sliver of shadow on the other side of the room, where the light from the windows didn’t quite reach. “I’m at the end of my rope, Sage…”
“And I fell off mine so long ago my corpse has been picked clean by the crows!” I yelled.
“I’m exhausted from trying to be who or what you think I should be.
Even when I tried, you found ways to hurt me, so what’s the point?
You bonded with a defective mate, just cut your losses. Give it a try with your wife, maybe.”
“Enough about my wife!” he bellowed, the windows shaking behind me. “You are the one I want, and if it was safe for you, I’d—”
I laughed, shaking my head at the ridiculousness of it all as I gestured to myself. “Ah yes, here I am, safe and sound. The picture of health.”
I knew I looked terrible. I was covered in scars, I had lost weight, my hair was falling out, and I was sure if Victor hadn’t removed all the mirrors from fear I’d smash one and try to cut myself again, I would see dark circles under my eyes and gaunt cheeks staring back at me.
He took a step forward, wincing in pain as the light hit him. “I have made mistakes. I should have told you about Accalia beforehand, and you will never know how sorry I am about Kain.”
His skin blistered as he took another step towards me. “But why can’t you see that so much of your misery is caused by your own obstinacy? If you’d just submit and let me lead, acknowledge that I am your alpha, your mate, and only have your best interests at heart, you’d be so happy.”
I watched in horror as his skin began to sizzle.
“You’re asking me to change myself entirely to be who you want, but you’ve never once considered what I want.
I’m not just an omega, and I’m not just a witch, and it makes me want to scream that you don’t even seem to know what those identities even mean beyond your own stereotypes and superficial understandings.
Not all omegas want to submit, and I’m proof of that!
And don’t even get me started on the familiar. ”
He took another step forward, the acrid smell of burnt flesh turning my stomach. “Tell me then.”
“They aren’t even animals!”
He paused, his expression contorting in pain. “What do you mean?”
“They’re shapeshifters! We can only pair with them in a ceremony by the Temple of Hecara. It’s a connection between souls. You don’t just walk into a pet store, buy a cat, and call it a familiar!”
I stood on shaky legs and stepped up to him, shielding him as best I could from the sun. I didn’t want him to burn. “And if you’d ever bothered looking below the surface of me, you’d know that. In fact, I don’t think you even know me at all.”
I tried to walk around him but he grabbed my wrist. “I’d like to,” he whispered.
“Why?” I asked, my voice breaking. How could I hate this man, wish to be dead to escape him, yet still feel my heart break as his skin blistered in the sun, watching him endure this pain just to get closer to me.
“You seem perfectly content with how things are. Our mate bond has made you stronger, you get to come here and fuck me into oblivion, and then you live your life outside those doors like I don’t even exist. But me?
I had food, clothing, and a roof over my head long before you came into the picture. And safety? Please.”
His eyes narrowed, and I continued. “I am getting nothing out of this relationship. My life cannot revolve around your cock.”
I walked back to the bedroom and closed the door, scooping up the kitten that had been sitting on the floor then retreating to the bed.
A gentle thud sounded on the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, darling. Hopefully we can have a more productive conversation after you’ve had time to think.”
Think about what?
The kitten pounced at my wiggling fingers and I smiled. He may not be a familiar, but he could still be a companion.
What more did I need than that?