Chapter 35 And How Does That Make You Feel?
And How Does That Make You Feel?
Sage
My head was pounding as I woke.
Unlike the stark, white, angular architecture and decor of the penthouse, this room was all golden opulence—ornate crown molding, oil paintings covering the walls, antique furniture, and me, lying in the middle of a bed with blood red silk sheets.
I still wore the robe the creepy priest had given me, somewhat thankful I hadn’t been unnecessarily touched in my sleep, aside from being moved to… wherever this was.
The heavy brocade curtains were closed, and I rose on shaky legs to look outside them and get my bearings.
It was night, but through the dark I saw that I was on the second floor of a large building, surrounded by a wall tall enough to block the view of Noctis, its ambient light peeking over the top in a distant glow.
This definitely wasn’t the same apartment building, then.
Not that it mattered, I supposed. I’d half suspected that after running away, Victor would lock me up in a cell underground, so this was a marked improvement over that.
There were three doors in the room. The first one I tried was locked, while the second led to a large bathroom, already filled with lotions, creams, and makeup, brand new and neatly organized. I left the bathroom, starting to inspect more of my surroundings.
The third door led to a walk-in closet also ready for use, with gorgeous outfits in my size for all occasions, hanging in neat rows across from rows of shoes. Mostly heels.
Well, this was all very different. Shoes and clothes? What was Victor planning?
The locked door opened, and I whipped around to watch Victor and the man from the penthouse enter together. The view from behind them appeared to be another bedroom, and not a hallway.
This must have been an enfilade, then, and I was probably in the Premier’s mansion. Which meant it would be that much harder for me to ever escape again.
“Good, you’re awake,” Victor said. “I believe you and the Arch-Hierophant have already been acquainted.”
I took a step back, the man’s presence just as chilling as it had been before. “Arch-Hierophant… of what? Which god do you worship? And what did you do to me?”
He smiled, and even Victor flinched slightly at the sight of his fangs. “Nothing that will give you any adverse effects, I assure you. Your body has been through a lot, and we need you to rest. Regain your strength.”
I noticed he hadn’t answered my first question, an oversight made on purpose. “Regain my strength for what?”
The Arch-Hierophant turned towards Victor. “Would you like to explain, or should I, Premier Corvane?”
The question was meant to show deference, but it felt more like an order to a subordinate.
Victor was too distracted to notice, though. The red of his irises had grown dangerously dark, as they often did when he needed to feed, and he was looking at me like he was ready to strike at any moment.
He took a deep breath, composing himself, and then stalked towards me, his hands behind his back. “Everything I’ve done since I found you has been in the interest of your protection, and in the strengthening of our bond.”
I ground my teeth, feeling a very un-omega-like growl building in my chest. What absolute kraken shit.
“Because even before I understood the… unique nature of our relationship, I could tell something was off. That things weren’t clicking between us the way they should have. And due to my growing desperation, I made some, let’s say, poor decisions.”
“My, how generous of you to admit that,” I replied flatly, crossing my arms.
Victor bared his teeth but stopped when the dark priest raised his hand. “Come now, I see there’s anger here on both sides, but let’s be reasonable.”
“Anger?” I scoffed. “Anger? Anger doesn’t even begin to describe the feelings I have towards my so-called ‘mate.’”
One second Victor was about six feet away from me, and the next his hand was on my throat, my back slammed against the wall.
“Just give me a reason to forgo all civility, mate. I’d happily chain you to the bed and cut out your tongue, so I can feed and fuck to my heart’s content without your needless—”
The priest raised his hands, muttering Old Lundarian under his breath. The light from the chandelier began to flicker out, the air growing heavy and oppressive, making it even more difficult to breathe than it already was with Victor’s hand crushing my windpipe.
His body stilled, a flash of terror in his eyes, and then he finally released me, his own chest heaving. It took a moment for the room to return to normal, and then Victor shook his head to clear it. “Th-thank you. I lost myself for a moment.”
My knees trembled as I caught my breath. If it weren’t for the wall supporting me, I’d have fallen over. Not just from Victor’s attack, but from the strange power the priest had unleashed. It was unlike any magic I’d ever felt before, and strong enough to stop Victor in his tracks.
Who, or rather what, was he?
“Perfectly understandable,” the priest replied, his voice still calm. “In that case, why don’t I finish explaining everything to Sage, hm?”
Victor nodded in agreement, backing up as the priest came forward. He sat on the bed and then patted the spot next to him. “You are still weak, witch. Best not to overextend yourself. Join me.”
Hecara, he was scary. And while I wanted to run away, obeying felt like the smartest option. I took a few shaky steps, and then sat on the mattress with my back against the headboard, curling my knees into my chest as I stared at the two of them.
Victor took a seat in a chair on the other side of the room, resting his elbows on his knees, his chin on his clasped hands as he observed us. Tense and ready to strike.
The priest looked at me. “First things first. I was remiss in introducing myself yesterday.” He tittered. “I was just so excited. We’ve been waiting a long time for the right moment to begin, you see, and things are finally falling into place.”
I stared at him, still having no idea what he was talking about.
“My title is Arch-Hierophant, but it’s such a mouthful, so please, call me Vorthain.”
He waited expectantly, and when I finally gave a small, tentative nod in understanding, he continued.
“The mate bond is sacred, blessed by the gods, but the bonds between chosen partners, especially the union of an alpha and omega, are not without their own expectations and challenges. What Victor meant to say earlier is that he failed you on both accounts.”
My focus shifted towards Victor, and I waited for him to retaliate against such a bold, negative claim, but he didn’t even move. Did he actually agree, or was he too scared to disagree?
“It is in the alpha’s nature to protect, and the omega’s nature to submit. But you never felt protected, did you?”
I looked at Victor again, but his eyes were firmly set on the ground as he listened, so I turned towards Vorthain and shook my head.
“Did you feel cherished? Loved?”
Tears pooled in my eyes, and I shook my head again.
“And this is why you did not submit.”
Victor grunted softly, but still didn’t look at me or move.
“It was a vicious cycle—each of you becoming more frustrated as the other refused you what you needed. And so the bonds, weakened as they already were by the unique nature of your matehood, were corroded even further.”
Vorthain’s voice took on a hypnotic quality, and I hung on his every word, while in the back of my mind I realized how strange this all was.
When I’d made the decision to go back to Victor, the last thing I’d expected him to do was hire a couple’s counselor, and yet that was exactly what this felt like.
But even if what Vorthain was saying made sense, there was still a huge problem with his hypothesis—I didn’t want to submit.
At least, not all the time or because it was just expected of me.
I wanted a partner who was my equal, who didn’t get offended if I took the lead on something.
Who wouldn’t be threatened by me wanting to do things on my own.
And that just wasn’t Victor.
“And so we need to start over,” Vorthain continued. “From what I understand, things really began to break down when he married Accalia, yes?”
“Yes,” I whispered. Even if I’d never wanted Victor, every time I’d suspected him of being intimate with someone else, it would gut me. “I… haven’t had a heat. Since the wedding.”
“I was trying to—”
Vorthain held up his hand to Victor, stopping him from speaking. Victor balked for only a second, and then backed down.
“And this is why we need to go back, in a way,” he said, ignoring Victor’s interruption. “He needs to embrace your relationship more openly. Claim you publicly.”
“But…” I started, choosing my words carefully.
I couldn’t risk outing Ronan, because if Victor had no problem killing someone I had only just started dating, there was no telling what he’d do to the demon I had sacrificed my freedom to protect.
“What if my true mate is still out there, waiting for me?”
When Victor began to growl, I addressed him directly. “I mean, we both know I’m your consolation prize. Shouldn’t you be looking for someone who actually wants to be with you, too?”
Victor jumped to his feet, pointing at me and looking at Vorthain like he’d finally tricked me into a confession. “See? She doesn’t even want to be with me. Me! Like she could do any better!”
“It’s not about some objective measure of power, status, or wealth!” I shot back. “It’s about compatibility! We don’t belong together! And I’m sorry your mate is dead, but just because she gave her heart to me, it doesn’t mean it’s still yours, too.”
Vorthain stood, the movement quieting us, and came closer to where I sat. The man radiated a dark energy unlike anything I’d ever felt before, and it began to concentrate in the palms of his outstretched hands, his mouth twisting into a grotesque grin.
“Sage,” he cooed. “Victor wants to be your mate. You need to let go of whatever reluctance you carry that’s blocking you from fully accepting him.”
With one hand gripping my shoulder, the other was pushed against my chest, his power flowing through me.
It felt oily, coating my veins and slowing my movements and thoughts.
The pressure in my chest deepened—not pain, not pleasure—but into something far worse.
Longing.
My breath evened out against my will. My shoulders slackened. My body leaned toward Victor as though pulled by gravity.
“There,” Vorthain murmured. “That’s what alignment will feel like.”
Victor let out a broken sound, coming back to my side as I relaxed into his touch. “Yes, this what I wanted,” he sighed, running his hand down my hair.
I wanted to scream that it wasn’t what I wanted, but my body had already betrayed me, curling in toward the man I hated.
“It’s not real,” Vorthain said, confirming my thoughts. “But I can make it real.”
It’s not real.
It’s not real.
It’s not…