29. Chapter 29- Lily
Lily sighed through her nose and kept her serene smile firmly upon her face.
It was the final ball, where the celebration of the Season came to a crescendo.
Laughter rang through the halls, and a fresh batch of news enlivened the conversations.
Why, Lily had heard of four recent engagements since she’d walked through the door!
Even so, Lily couldn’t help but feel deflated. This evening made it official: the letter she’d written Bradford had failed to garner any response. She felt she’d experienced every emotion since she’d posted it—hope, anger, certainty, doubt…
Now, Lily felt nothing but a dull embarrassment for sending the letter at all.
Despite what she’d written, Lily had no intentions of accepting either of the gentlemen who’d hinted they’d soon be seeking a private audience with her brother William.
Apparently, Lily’s gentle dissuasion and Rachel and Beatrice’s outrageous machinations hadn’t been enough.
Or perhaps those gentleman just preferred this quiet, sad version of Lily.
At balls, she did her very best to blend into the crowds of the ballrooms instead of standing amongst the other single ladies looking to dance. If she saw a gentleman approaching, she turned and went the other direction or escaped to the ladies’ retiring room.
For the most part, Lily’s tactics had worked.
Though she’d been caught unawares several times, she made such little effort at conversation during the subsequent dance that the man went away frowning.
Lily had quickly acquired a reputation for being frigid and unapproachable, and she simply didn’t care.
If Lily wasn’t heartbroken, she was as close to the emotion as she ever wanted to tread. Even now, while this current Season was still coming to a shimmering close, Lily dreaded the second. Certainly the time away from London in the interim would do her good.
William said that the entire family was to take an extended holiday as soon as Parliament closed.
Lily didn’t know if she was grateful or disappointed that Devon was nowhere close to Northumberland.
It varied moment to moment, but she was undoubtedly happy that they were headed to the countryside, in any case.
Of the four Preston sisters who had been presented, Lily thought that only Claire might be close to achieving matrimony.
That was only clear to Lily because of the obvious way Lord Rutheridge looked at her sister—the same way he’d always looked at her, though Claire had been too dense in her youth to notice.
Lily was ashamed to admit she didn’t know how Beatrice or Margaret had fared. First, Lily had been too focused on Bradford—the threat he presented, and then his very presence—to pay attention. After Bradford had left, Lily found she could barely pay attention to anything at all.
It was properly idiotic. She had turned into one of those mooning ninnies she’d always sworn she never would.
Lily fluffed her skirts and checked her position behind the large pillar.
It was a strategic spot—the pillar blocked her from view from most of the room, but she could still see the gardens through the glass-paned doors.
“The letter was delayed,” a voice said from behind her.
Lily froze, one slender hand still pressed against the cool marble.
Her breath caught in her throat. She recognized that voice, had longed to hear it ever since it last bid her goodbye.
And yet there was a part of her that feared she’d be mistaken when she turned to gaze upon the owner, that it would be some stranger trying to discuss the post.
Though it took all her courage, she did turn.
She blinked. Bradford stood before her—not in a crisp, three-piece suit as she’d expected, but wearing a riding outfit and a pair of boots speckled with mud.
His hair had achieved a heretofore unknown volume and height.
Despite the intensity of the moment, Lily couldn’t help staring at it; she had to roll her lips between her teeth to prevent herself from laughing inappropriately.
He looked heavenward and sighed, even as he pawed at his hair with one hand. “I know. It’s dreadful.”
“It looks like a very impressive souffle,” she murmured, her voice trembling.
Bradford made a noise of disgust. “Now that we’ve covered the most important thing?—”
Lily couldn’t restrain herself any longer, she laughed. It wasn’t just his slightly shocking appearance—it was pure delight that he was there at all. For Lily knew he wouldn’t have come in person if he didn’t return her tender feelings.
He could have put any rejection very politely in a letter of his own. Certainly he wouldn’t have left Rebecca again unless it was a matter of utmost importance. Unless Lily was a matter of utmost importance.
Lily longed to hug him round his middle and press her cheek to the wrinkled shirt that undoubtedly smelled strongly of horse. Only the tinkling strains of the music and the knowledge that they were in public kept her from it.
“You came.”
Bradford nodded, his dark eyes holding hers. “As quickly as possible, if that wasn’t already obvious. The blasted post routed your letter all the way to the northern border. It lingered there for quite some time before anyone realized.”
Then that was the reason for the delay. It was so simple Lily wanted to laugh again. A problem with the post! It was one of a hundred scenarios she’d considered, and the possibility was far too mundane to have made her list of top worries.
“I thought you might have died,” she said lightly, still grinning up at him.
“You needn’t look so pleased at the prospect.” Bradford caught her, one large hand gently cupping her elbow. “Don’t toy with me, Lily. Are you or are you not engaged?”
“Of course not,” she said. “I certainly thought you clever enough to know an empty threat when you read one.”
“That saves me the trouble of dueling a fellow, I suppose,” he grumbled. “A pity to have wasted all that time on the journey here, revising my argument for the judge and jury.”
Lily laughed. She found it delightful to tease him, now that she was fairly certain of his affection. “And why have you come, then? Are you in search of a new waistcoat or a pair of boots? It’s true that London has the finest tailors and?—”
Bradford silenced her in the most enjoyable way possible—by clasping her at the waist and pressing his lips to hers.
After a moment, she broke away with a gasp, her eyes wide. Such displays simply weren’t done, and certainly not amongst the crowds of a ballroom. Thankfully, he’d at least thought to put his back to the crowd, shielding her from view between the pillar and himself.
Though there was an exclamation amongst the guests, the furor came from the direction of the dance floor. Apparently something had occurred at just the right moment to draw the collective attention away.
“Apologies,” he said, releasing her and stepping back. “Of all the ways I planned upon doing this, that was not one of them.”
Lily nodded, her cheeks going pink. She wouldn’t admit it to him, but she found his breach of decorum romantic, not to mention delightful. “I certainly hope this means you return my feelings.”
“My darling Lily, if my feelings took corporeal shape, there wouldn’t be enough room in London to contain them. I have experienced the deepest agony ever since I parted from you.”
“Then why did you leave in the first place?”
“I needed to give you space to know what you truly felt.”
Her eyebrow flicked upward. “Do you think I’m so naive that I don’t know my own thoughts?”
“I was afraid that you’d feel you had to return my affections to guarantee my silence.”
“Ridiculous,” she snapped. “I know you would never leverage that knowledge against me. I know you well enough to be certain you would never break your word.”
Bradford shook his head, the set of his mouth grim. “And yet, I have broken my word in the past. I had to be sure, for both our sakes, that your affection was not a passing one.”
Lily opened her mouth to offer him assurances, but he held up a hand. “Forgive me, Lily, but you don’t know me as well as you think. There are things I need to tell you, things you need to know before you decide whether to accept my offer of marriage.”
It was a strange moment—Lily was half dread, half delight. He’d mentioned asking for her hand for the first time, but it was marred by his warning.
He swallowed deeply. “I have something I need to tell you, even though I fear it might change your opinion of me forever.”
Lily stiffened. Such words were never welcome from one’s potential intended, especially when one was already deeply in love.
Bradford studied her face. “Will you please meet me in the park in the morning like we used to do? This isn’t the proper place for such a discussion.”
Lily nodded.
“Until the morning, then.” Bradford gave her a tight smile, squeezed her elbow one last time, and was gone.