Chapter Two
ChapterTwo
Riley
When Elissa and Brandt excuse themselves for the night and slip behind Elissa’s bedroom door, I’m left alone, sitting in silence. I sigh and look around the room, taking in the quiet and loneliness I feel in this moment, preparing myself for the pending life I’m sure I need to get used to. Being on my own.
I stare into the colourful red, green, yellow, and blue lights that glow on the bare Christmas tree in the corner of the room, opposite the chair Brandt was sitting in. A few opened presents sit under the tree, waiting to be put away. I sink into the couch more as I stare into the glow of the lights on the tree until my surroundings melt away and I’m back at Rhys’ apartment.
Bundled up in my black peacoat and woolly white infinity scarf, I fluff my straight black hair and toss my head as I roll my shoulders back, straightening myself into a confident pose. My shiny red nails glimmer in the sunlight streaming into the lobby of Rhys’ building as I reach for the button to buzz up.
“Hello?” His familiar voice echoes in the tiny room, wrapping around me in a warm embrace. My insides melt at the warmth that seeps through the intercom.
“It’s me,” I say. “We need to talk. Can I please come up?” I wait for Rhys to say something, but nothing comes. The silence stretches for a full minute or so, and I’m about to give up when the buzzer sounds, and the door unlocks. My hand wraps around the handle, the cool metal stinging the palm of my hand, and I pull on the door with force, as if it’s going to lock in an instant because Rhys changed his mind.
I take careful steps to the elevator, mumbling under my breath. Mumbling about what I want to say, what I should say, what I need to say. I mumble imaginary counter-arguments he might give me, but also the happy, hopeful answers a tiny piece of me clings to, even knowing it’s unlikely. Realizing I probably sound and look like a crazy person stalking the stretch of hallway to the elevator, I pick up my pace and hit the elevator button before anyone has a chance to see me.
When the elevator comes to a stop, my heart hammers in my stomach. The pulse is so strong, it’s making me nauseous, and this time I can’t blame the pregnancy. Goosebumps prickle on my skin as I near his door, raising the tiny hairs on my arms and the back of my neck. The hallway suddenly feels a thousand degrees warmer as beads of sweat form and roll down the centre of my chest. I take a steadying breath, running through all the words I need to say to Rhys, and raise my fist to knock on the door.
It swings open before my hand connects with the heavy metal door. Rhys steps back, opening the door wide so I can slip inside. I peek out of the corner of my eye and damn, does he look good. His black hair is darker and slicked back like he’s fresh from the shower, and as I pass him, the warm, comfortable smell of Old Spice tickles my nose. He’s wearing basketball shorts, no shirt. His broad shoulders are exposed and so are the delicious bumps that ridge his core down to his…
Focus, Riley.I clear my throat as I kick off my boots and bend over to tug up my socks, which have slipped off my feet partially. I shrug off my jacket and turn to hang it up when I see Rhys’ face staring at me in amazement, but not in a good way. Almost like he can’t believe I’m getting comfortable.
When I’m finished, he brushes past me and another cloud of his body wash fills my lungs. My heart aches to capture that scent for later. He pads toward the couch and sinks into it, sprawling his arms across the back and showing off his mouthwatering shoulder muscles as they pinch and bunch together. I have to tear my eyes away in order to focus and make my way to the living room, where I delicately sit at the opposite end of the couch.
We both sit in silence; only the ticking of the clock makes noise. Finally, Rhys sighs. He leans forward, braces himself on his knees, folds his hands together, and turns his head to face me.
“What is it, Riley?”
My tongue freezes in my mouth. My whole body ices over and my heart rate slows. I hear my breathing get laboured, and I’m momentarily paralyzed. My mouth drops open, but snaps shut again a second later. I’m losing all the words I had prepared. I’m just sitting in front of him like a mute fool. Rhys sighs.
“Riley, I don’t know if I want to get back together, okay? There’s just —” My hand flies into the air to stop him. Excuse me?
“I’m sorry. You think I want to get back together? Me? The one who was dumped, ruthlessly, and then callously used just weeks later because you thought I was an easy fling? Fuck that.” And suddenly, part of me changes my mind — I don’t want him to know anything that’s going on. My mind is telling me to move my feet and just leave. Forget him and his ignorant bullshit. But my feet and body remain rooted in place. No, Riles. He deserves to know. Scratch that. He needs to know; he doesn’t deserve shit.
I shake my head and clear my thoughts.
“I’m pregnant.” I wait for a response, but there’s nothing. He’s just staring at me with hard eyes. I tilt my head, furrowing my brows. “It’s yours,” I confirm. More silence. He finally moves, leaning back into the couch with a rigid posture. His muscles are tight, and his neck is straining. I can tell he’s uncomfortable.
“I want a paternity test.” His words sink my heart like the Titanic. A paternity test. I mean, yeah, sure, but how can he not believe me?
“But you never used a condom when you hooked up with me last; it’s yours.” He says nothing, gets up from the couch and walks over to the door, holding it open.
“I’ll call you when I set up an appointment to get this done. You can leave now.” My mouth drops open. Doesn’t he want to know anything else? I’m floored, and I can’t think straight as I float up off the couch, move toward the door, and slip on my boots and shove my arms into my jacket. I stop in front of Rhys, looking at him, but not really seeing. My stare is vacant, and I can’t believe the conversation, or lack thereof, I just had with him.
My mind is reeling and blank all at once as I step outside onto the sidewalk. I bunch my coat up around my neck to keep me warm, and I realize that I left my scarf at his place. Well, I’m not going back now. The icy wind bites at my cheeks as I walk down the road, staring up at the skyscrapers as I stroll, the late afternoon sun glittering on the snow. People bustle and flow around me as I take my time walking back home.
My eyes flutter closed as my head falls to the back of the couch, and I’m back in my apartment when I open my eyes. It feels like a lifetime ago that this happened, but it’s been only hours since I told Rhys. My shoulders collapse as I exhale a heavy breath and push myself off the couch. My feet shuffle me to my room, and I slip behind the door, closing it with a soft click. My hand slides down the wooden grain of the door as my other hand releases the handle. I press my forehead into the door frame and exhale, then flip the switch on the wall and light fills the room.
I grab my phone off my bed, plug it into the charger, and sift through the clothes on the floor to find my pajamas from this morning. Once they’re on, I switch off the light and climb into bed. As I slide between the cool sheets and the duvet, sadness envelops me as well, and I realize that I’m in this on my own. I’m all alone. Elissa will be too busy with the company and Brandt, and who knows about Rhys.
I roll over and pick up my phone, and I squint into the glow. I scroll through my messages and find the one person in the world that I need: my mother.
Me: I miss you. Love you.
A few moments later, her reply comes in.
Mom:I love you too, baby. Xx
I click my phone off, place it back on my nightstand, and stuff my arm underneath my pillow. My other arm slides down and wraps around my barely bloated belly.
I’ll love you just like my mother loves me. I’m all you’ll ever need.