Chapter Twenty-Eight
ChapterTwenty-Eight
Elissa
I’ve never been more thankful to have my back facing away from everything in a room as I am right now. The anxiety that sparks through me, knowing that Brandt is a handful of feet away…I feel like every piece of me is chipping and breaking away. I swear I can smell his wintry evergreen scent from here, filling my nostrils and giving me air to breathe. Fuck, I miss him so much.
Riley has done an impeccable job of ignoring the fact that Rhys is across from her. I can’t tell if she’s using her peripheral vision or what, but I haven’t noticed her glance over there once. The fact that she’s remaining strong in this moment spreads warmth all over my body, and it triggers the fighter in me to be stronger.
The waitress finally comes over and takes our order, both of us ordering the prime rib with a twice-baked potato and seasonal veggies. I strike up a conversation first, trying to fill the tense silence we have going on between us.
“So, next weekend?”
“Hmm?” Riley’s absent eyes find mine as she rids herself of her thoughts and comes back to reality. Her amber-laced chocolate eyes blink the haze from them and she brightens. “What’s up?”
“Next weekend. I was thinking we should take that weekend to go down and tell your parents about the baby.”
Riley groans.
“Do we have to? I can wait a little longer before I need to tell them. Better yet, let’s just send them a text, or a photo of the ultrasound picture,” she says, full of optimism. My expression flattens as I stare at her, giving her my best “Are you kidding?” face. Her chuckle comes out whiny. “Yeah, I know. I need to tell them. I guess we can do it next weekend.” With that settled and out of the way, I make a mental note to let Lana know that I’m coming down for the weekend and see if she wants to catch up.
“But honestly, E, do you think my parents are going to be pissed?”
I’m quiet and thoughtful for a moment, and her face drains of colour.
“I don’t think they’ll be pissed. Will they be upset? Maybe, but only because you’re still recovering from your last episode. But you’re an adult, and they love you, so I think they’ll genuinely support you.” Relief washes over Riley’s face and she settles into her chair, letting her posture relax. “It’s not like your parents are mine,” I mutter under my breath.
Honestly, if I were to have gotten pregnant out of marriage, I think my father would have actually disowned me on the spot, the image of throwing his daughter out be damned. Because embarrassing him like that would have been one hundred times worse. It’s hard to believe a man like him was so likeable across the company and in the public. He really knew how to put on a show. Well, look at me now, Father. I know how to put on a show just like you. Never letting my mask slip. Always hiding my feelings, never letting the cracks show. Even when I’m broken inside from you, Mother, and Brandt.
“’Lissa?” Riley murmurs. The worry in her tone breaks me out of my internal turmoil and the one-sided conversation with the ghost of my father.
“Sorry. My thoughts drifted for a moment,” I say apologetically. Her eyes fill with concern and she nods empathetically.
“I know. It’s hard being in the same room as Brandt and Rhys, isn’t it?” Again, I can’t let this false strength break, or we’ll both be broken together.
“Uh, no. I was off thinking about work.”
“Oh,” she says in a small voice.
The server comes back, placing our food in front of us and filling my glass with more white wine. She places a bottle of sparkling water on the table for Riley. Riley rubs her stomach now without even realizing it, and she’s doing it now as she fills her water goblet. A small breathy sigh escapes me as I pick up my wine and drink half the glass. The bright, fruity taste leaves a lingering note of hope on my tongue.
···
When we’re almost finished eating, I realize I’ve spent the entire night fretting over whether Brandt and Rhys have noticed us, or if they’ve left yet. But I’ve not allowed myself a single peek to see if they’re here. Truthfully, I don’t need to turn around and look, because my skin still tingles with his presence. My body vibrates on the same frequency as his, and when we’re in the same room, our bodies charge the air, like rubbing your socked feet on the carpet, causing static electricity. The tension between us is so thick that it suffocates everyone in the room until we’re the only two standing.
So, no, I definitely don’t need to look. I know he is still here. I feel him all around me.
“Elissa?” A deep, resonant voice fills the air. My eyes slide to my right and up, and there’s one of the most handsome men I’ve ever seen. He has dark chocolate hair, clear, wide, light eyes, and stubble that covers a firm jaw. He looks familiar, but I can’t quite place where I know him from. “It’s Theo,” he says with a wry smile. And then it clicks. He’s the guy my mother wanted to set me up with the other week. Now it all makes sense. Theo Greenbelt is the son of the philanthropists in my parents’ circle. His wide shoulders are a stark comparison to the tapered torso I can make out from his form-fitting charcoal Armani suit.
“Oh, Theo!” I push my chair back and give him a quick, friendly hug. “It’s been years since I’ve seen you,” I say. The last time I remember seeing him, he was a geeky fourteen-year-old with thick-rimmed glasses and braces. He was adorable then, but not like the man he is now. He certainly had a glow-up.
“Yeah, I know,” he chuckles, and it’s a sweet, robust sound. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you in the news, to be honest.” A slight flush creeps across my face. “I heard about your father. I’m sorry. I know you weren’t very close, but I’m sorry anyhow.” He’s still the sweet little kid at heart I knew back then. I give him a soft smile.
“Thanks, Theo. And regarding those headlines you’re talking about, I’m not sure what you mean. I was, am, an angel,” I joke, fluffing my hair over my shoulder. Riley is still sitting down when she clears her throat. “Oh, meet Riley, my best friend.” Theo takes Riley’s hand in his and presses a kiss to the back of it like she’s a princess, and I swear she swoons. Her cheeks flush and her eyes shine.
“Nice to meet you, Riley.” His voice is friendly and warm before he shifts his attention back to me. Riley quirks her brow and gives me a knowing smile, chuckling to herself. “Elissa and I used to be forced to hang out together whenever her parents made her come to Toronto in the summers,” he says, and I notice something shifts in his eyes. His pupils dilate and his gaze fills with hunger. My heart patters, and it feels like I’m getting kicked in the chest by a horse. I can’t even stand another guy looking at me this way anymore. I just wish it was the man behind me across the room.
“Well, Riley and I should get back to our dinner,” I say softly. I try to break the goodbye to him gently so I hear nothing back from my mother about my rudeness.
“Oh, sure. Of course. Maybe we can meet up one night and really catch up.” It’s not a question he asks, it’s more like a promise. One that I’m going to have to eventually break because I’m nowhere near ready to date anyone, even as a favour to my mother. The only man I want is over there. All this brooding over Brandt has the song Issues by Julia Michaels echoing in my head. Yeah, I’ve got issues. But I need him. Fuck.
“Yeah. That would be lovely,” I say, just like other women do when they insincerely mean it. Part of me is disgusted at employing the same tricks I’ve seen my parents use time and time again. I move to Theo to say a polite goodbye just as his hand wraps around my lower back, tugging me in close. I circle my arms around his shoulders in the most platonic way possible, and kiss him on the cheek like my mother does with me. A quick brush of the lips against the cheek and a “mwah” noise. I feel his body stiffen slightly at the clear line I’ve drawn, but it’s for the best. Besides, I really don’t want to give him false hope. I can’t do that to him. He really is a great guy, but I know he’s just not for me. “I’ll see you around, Theo. Give your mother my love,” I say. His handsome head nods, a small, regrettable smile on his face.
“See you around, Elissa.”
He walks off, and I suddenly feel this searing, burning pain burrowing into my back. Like a drill bit spinning around, sparking, growing hot from metal grinding on metal. I know immediately that Brandt just saw our exchange, and my heart sinks like a boulder in my chest. Now I definitely refuse to look in that direction. I stand frozen in place until Riley calls my name.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” she asks. Her head turns slightly and I’m sure she sees the anger that I feel. “Oh…” That’s all she says. I slowly sit down, pull the napkin off the table, let it rest in my lap, and pick up my fork and knife to continue eating.